[ADULT] Talking about menstruation is gross (was "menstrual cups")

[ZephyrusX]

You have this amazing ability of digging your self into a deeper and deeper hole.

I think many women are still brought up in an environment where they are implicitly told that it is wrong to talk about their bodily parts and functions as it is 'gross', 'rude' and just not something you speak among 'decent folk'. Hell, one of my brothers tells me this when I start talking about my menstrual cycle. I also remember a time when I was really young (young enough where my mother was still supervising me while taking a bath) and I started asking questions about my vagina. She was so weirded out that she refused to answer anything. The consequence of learning that it is 'gross' or 'inappropriate' to talk about these things, however, is that many young (and older women) are relatively isolated and they feel ashamed and alone when it comes to their bodily functions and parts. They may also remain largely uneducated on the matter, which makes the isolation and shame that much worse.

It doesn't surprise me in the least that you got this kind of response. It was immature, but most of all, it was completely unsympathetic and rude.

Originally Posted by James81

I mustve hit a nerve. My point wasn't that there shouldn't be a thread about this. My point was how when there are threads like this how everybody sits and talks about these disgusting things (such as clumpy blood) as if its totally not gross to talk about. I was just saying that if it were a poop thread, there would be a whole different tone.

But, judging by the way some of you responded to me, you'd think I just suggested selling women for land. Lmao.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by AllTogetherNow

for women, it's NOT gross to talk about it. It IS totally normal. it's just a normal part of everyday for half the human population.

Exactly.

And those who are disgusted by it should stay away from places it's being discussed, or at least keep their hostile opinions on the subject to themselves.

Women get enough negative messages about their bodies, their genitals, their menstrual cycles, their body hair, and so forth. And some of us are sick of it.

I'll say it again: If you can't stand the blood, stay out of the menstrual thread.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by supertom

Its obvious from the thread tittle what thread is about, don't like it than don't come in, it's simple.

I admit I'm slightly cheesed not being able to turn my shower into a Dexter murder scene.

I'm with you there, man. Bleeding genitals are totally metal.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by AllTogetherNow

um- yah - you still don't get it do ya?

for women, it's NOT gross to talk about it. It IS totally normal. it's just a normal part of everyday for half the human population.

now, your opinion may be that it's gross - and that's fine cause of course everyone has an opinion - but it's just an opinion. it's not 'fact' that discussing these things is "gross" .... that's only in the eye of the beholder.

i used to go with a Native American man who was fine with all of it - he had no issues about blood or the workings of the body, he considered it part and parcel of the biology of life. when i was going through a very bad period of problems from fibroids - including the gushing and clotting - he had zero issues; he helped me through it in an amazingly supportive and non-judgemental way, never made me feel bad or unclean or gross, or any of the other judgements some men put on women's menstrual stuff. he helped me on numerous times with the mess, supported me through the public embarassment, figured out ways to deal with it, even in the ER when he thought i was bleeding to death he never left my side, literally stood right there and mopped up the blood, reassured me, then ran for the doc....

thank goodness for men like him in this world.

This guy sounds wonderful. Why isn't he running circles for men to rub off on them? Men like this are rare...do you have his number?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Criseyde

Aww... you don't like hearing about the time I dropped my cup on the floor and turned my bathroom into a vampire rodeo? What about how much fun it is to pour, since the consistency of fresh (start-of-period) blood is somewhere in between water and snot? (That's something I wasn't too sure about before I started using a cup, since everything I'd ever used was absorbent.) Or how about having to enlarge the holes in my cup with a safety pin, because blood was getting stuck in them? (Tip: if you're having sealing problems, enlarging the holes can help with that too.) What about how interesting it is to find out exactly how much menstrual fluid you lose in a month? (since the cup is marked.)

Oh, and did you know that you can take the stains off by filling the cup with hydrogen peroxide, pouring that into an 8oz glass, filling the rest of the glass with water, and leaving the cup inside it overnight? (There's some useful information. )

I keep mine in a jar and feed it to the soil out the back garden. My tomatoes and radishes have shot up this spring. Menstrual blood makes excellent fertilizer.

I have yet to use it in spells, but I think it would be a most potent and powerful substance to use when I do get around to it.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by elucidate

This guy sounds wonderful. Why isn't he running circles for men to rub off on them? Men like this are rare...do you have his number?

Now that I am no longer in the running, I am not grateful for the lack of competition. Get your asses in gear, guys. You've got to earn your dick.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I did know one fellow who was willing to go down on me while I was bleeding...but he was an ex satanist who was a born-again christian.

I think we got some of those people on the forum here

So, I didn't look at this thread till today because I figured it would be too gross, but I kept seeing guys' names show up as the latest poster, and finally I decided I had to see what they were going on about, only to find some of them saying this thread is too gross! LOL.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

I think we got some of those people on the forum here

So, I didn't look at this thread till today because I figured it would be too gross, but I kept seeing guys' names show up as the latest poster, and finally I decided I had to see what they were going on about, only to find some of them saying this thread is too gross! LOL.

It's one of 'those' perverse situations where they don't really want to look, but they have to, and once they have, they can't look away.

Serves them right.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

I think we got some of those people on the forum here

So, I didn't look at this thread till today because I figured it would be too gross, but I kept seeing guys' names show up as the latest poster, and finally I decided I had to see what they were going on about, only to find some of them saying this thread is too gross! LOL.

It's the law of attraction at work.

[James81]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

I think we got some of those people on the forum here

So, I didn't look at this thread till today because I figured it would be too gross, but I kept seeing guys' names show up as the latest poster, and finally I decided I had to see what they were going on about, only to find some of them saying this thread is too gross! LOL.

Well, I'm a hunter who has personally gutted and skinned deer. This thread isn't gross in a "OMG, I'm about to lose my lunch" kind of way (at least not to me anyway). My comments were more about how this is one of those bodily functions, much like piss, ♥♥♥♥, or snot, that you'd think people wouldn't really want to sit and talk about.

In other words, I personally am not grossed out. I was making a comment as to the weirdness of such a thread. But obviously for me to say something like that, it means I'm rude and inconsiderate and trampling all over repressed females as a gender.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by James81

In other words, I personally am not grossed out. I was making a comment as to the weirdness of such a thread. But obviously for me to say something like that, it means I'm rude and inconsiderate and trampling all over repressed females as a gender.

It just means you are wrong. We do like to discuss it. We find it informative and helpful...or we wouldn't participate in it. To us it isn't weird to talk about it. To you, and most males, it is.

To jump in and tell us all that it is a weird thing to talk about normal bodily functions...when we've all copped that our whole lives...yes, it is a little rude, but I'm quite sure you still won't see how.

It's like if males were in a circle discussing the great day of hunting they had and a female jumped and went "Ewww...you killed cute deer and now you're all bragging about it, you savages"...you'd stare at her like she was an idiot!

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by James81

My comments were more about how this is one of those bodily functions, much like piss, ♥♥♥♥, or snot, that you'd think people wouldn't really want to sit and talk about.

You'd think that. Apparently the people in this thread don't think that. And sometimes people DO talk about those things, when appropriate.

I don't think any of the women in this thread have talked about this stuff anywhere on this board OTHER than a thread specifically about menstruation.

Originally Posted by James81

I personally am not grossed out.

Just making the casual observation, which you feel strongly enough about to interject into a thread that has nothing whatsoever to do with your interests, that menstruation (or is it just talking about it?) is five times more vile and disgusting as excrement. Gotcha.

Basically, it comes back to my previous metaphor. You, knowing that you find naked, sweaty men in a sauna together to be disgusting, went into a men's sauna, and while there, you had a good look and then announced to all the men present that naked, sweaty men were disgusting, and pointed out how weird it was to be sitting around naked and sweating.

Originally Posted by James81

for me to say something like that, it means I'm rude and inconsiderate and trampling all over repressed females as a gender.

If you weren't being sarcastic, I'd think you might finally be seeing someone else's point of view. Alas, it seems not.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

If you weren't being sarcastic, I'd think you might finally be seeing someone else's point of view.

Now that's asking a bit too much I think.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by elucidate

It's one of 'those' perverse situations where they don't really want to look, but they have to, and once they have, they can't look away.

And they can't resist pointing out how gross we are for having a discussion they didn't have to look at in the first place.

[Cado]

Originally Posted by James81

Well, I'm a hunter who has personally gutted and skinned deer. This thread isn't gross in a "OMG, I'm about to lose my lunch" kind of way (at least not to me anyway). My comments were more about how this is one of those bodily functions, much like piss, ♥♥♥♥, or snot, that you'd think people wouldn't really want to sit and talk about.

In other words, I personally am not grossed out. I was making a comment as to the weirdness of such a thread. But obviously for me to say something like that, it means I'm rude and inconsiderate and trampling all over repressed females as a gender.

Personally I find certain discussions on %&$* to be incredibly informative and vital to my hygiene and health. That you seem to think it's inappropriate is not going to stop me from discussing the color and consistency of my poo when relevant.

And, frankly, your manner when dealing with women is terrible. Howabout instead of doing this in these discussions you try a bit of introspection, hm?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

And they can't resist pointing out how gross we are for having a discussion they didn't have to look at in the first place.

What I find so amusing is that males will say the most disgusting things...deliberately designed to gross girls out for their own amusement, but when you mention something biologically factual, they wigg out.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Cado

Personally I find certain discussions on %&$* to be incredibly informative and vital to my hygiene and health. That you seem to think it's inappropriate is not going to stop me from discussing the color and consistency of my poo when relevant.

And, frankly, your manner when dealing with women is terrible. Howabout instead of doing this in these discussions you try a bit of introspection, hm?

Another biological fact of life that is actually interesting if you can remove yourself from immature, 4th grade responses about it. Poo is what chinese medicine people deal with all the time to determine whether the person is in optimal health or not.

It's good info to have so you can notice when something might be up with your health and speak to someone about it.

Talking about menstrual blood does not mean we writhe around in it, drinking it from our cups or drawing satanic images of it on the wall. It's just blood and we observe it from month to month.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Another biological fact of life that is actually interesting if you can remove yourself from immature, 4th grade responses about it. Poo is what chinese medicine people deal with all the time to determine whether the person is in optimal health or not.

It's good info to have so you can notice when something might be up with your health and speak to someone about it.

Talking about menstrual blood does not mean we writhe around in it, drinking it from our cups or drawing satanic images of it on the wall. It's just blood and we observe it from month to month.

Plus, tracking these things can be really useful, for trying to conceive and for trying NOT to conceive, and for knowing when to expect your period, and even for understanding what's up with your moods. I have a basal thermometer and can tell exactly when I'm ovulating, and I know when to pop my cup in so I don't ruin any underwear. These things are massively practical and relevant to my life, and I wouldn't know about any of them if people didn't talk about it.

[James81]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

You'd think that. Apparently the people in this thread don't think that. And sometimes people DO talk about those things, when appropriate.

I don't think any of the women in this thread have talked about this stuff anywhere on this board OTHER than a thread specifically about menstruation.


Just making the casual observation, which you feel strongly enough about to interject into a thread that has nothing whatsoever to do with your interests, that menstruation (or is it just talking about it?) is five times more vile and disgusting as excrement. Gotcha.

Basically, it comes back to my previous metaphor. You, knowing that you find naked, sweaty men in a sauna together to be disgusting, went into a men's sauna, and while there, you had a good look and then announced to all the men present that naked, sweaty men were disgusting, and pointed out how weird it was to be sitting around naked and sweating.


If you weren't being sarcastic, I'd think you might finally be seeing someone else's point of view. Alas, it seems not.

I see your point of view, that's why I can be sarcastic about it. Mainly because the things you accuse me of (I.e. Not listening, being rude, etc) are all things that I could very easily point my finger back at you and say the same thing. In that sense, I've become a mirror of sorts for a handful of you. The image you see is the part of yourself you most don't want to see.

I get it. All your lives you've been made to feel invalidated by men (and sometimes other women) for the things that seemingly make you women. Menstruation would be one of those things and perhaps it makes you feel gross during those time of the month (I figure I would feel gross uf I had cramps, bliatong, and then blood shoot out my peehole ).

I think it's ok that it's gross and disgusting. I don't need to pretend like it's not gross and disgusting and neither do you. *shrug*

[James81]

Originally Posted by Cado

Personally I find certain discussions on %&$* to be incredibly informative and vital to my hygiene and health. That you seem to think it's inappropriate is not going to stop me from discussing the color and consistency of my poo when relevant.

And, frankly, your manner when dealing with women is terrible. Howabout instead of doing this in these discussions you try a bit of introspection, hm?

I think you might try it first. I spent several years doing the introspecting, and a large portion if which you can click on my profile and read about.

[aelle]

Originally Posted by James81

I see your point of view, that's why I can be sarcastic about it. Mainly because the things you accuse me of (I.e. Not listening, being rude, etc) are all things that I could very easily point my finger back at you and say the same thing. In that sense, I've become a mirror of sorts for a handful of you. The image you see is the part of yourself you most don't want to see.

I get it. All your lives you've been made to feel invalidated by men (and sometimes other women) for the things that seemingly make you women. Menstruation would be one of those things and perhaps it makes you feel gross during those time of the month (I figure I would feel gross uf I had cramps, bliatong, and then blood shoot out my peehole ).

I think it's ok that it's gross and disgusting. I don't need to pretend like it's not gross and disgusting and neither do you. *shrug*

If you were trying to show that you are not invalidating women, here and in general, the point is kind of lost when you can't get basic female anatomy straight.

[AllTogetherNow]

ROFLMFAO

no James, sorry - but you SO don't get it.

[James81]

Originally Posted by aelle

If you were trying to show that you are not invalidating women, here and in general, the point is kind of lost when you can't get basic female anatomy straight.

You see the smiley next to that, right?

[Lil Chris]

Originally Posted by James81

I see your point of view, that's why I can be sarcastic about it. Mainly because the things you accuse me of (I.e. Not listening, being rude, etc) are all things that I could very easily point my finger back at you and say the same thing. In that sense, I've become a mirror of sorts for a handful of you. The image you see is the part of yourself you most don't want to see.

I get it. All your lives you've been made to feel invalidated by men (and sometimes other women) for the things that seemingly make you women. Menstruation would be one of those things and perhaps it makes you feel gross during those time of the month (I figure I would feel gross uf I had cramps, bliatong, and then blood shoot out my peehole ).

I think it's ok that it's gross and disgusting. I don't need to pretend like it's not gross and disgusting and neither do you. *shrug*

Valid point you make here, hope you don't get reemed to bad for making it (or me either for that matter).

There's no reason to be hostile towards anyone for having an opinion either way. I found this discussion, funny, enlightening and natural, yet still kinda gross too, but I don't have to deal with it, so that's probably why it seems gross to me. Don't hate men for that, ladies. Gutting a deer is kinda gross too.

[aelle]

Originally Posted by James81

You see the smiley next to that, right?

I did. I assumed it meant "I find myself hilarious", not "I know my post is factually incorrect".

If it was meant for laughs, what kind of humor mechanism was it supposed to rely on? Male bonding over a deliberately imprecise knowledge of the female body? What?

[ZephyrusX]

Why do you always turn around and make our complaints into something about our own personal character and psychological well being? That in it self is a form of invalidation. I can't say that I am offended as I find the situation almost ludicrous. We say that this isn't gross and you turn around and tell us, 'No ladies. This is how it is!'

Seriously?

Originally Posted by James81

I see your point of view, that's why I can be sarcastic about it. Mainly because the things you accuse me of (I.e. Not listening, being rude, etc) are all things that I could very easily point my finger back at you and say the same thing. In that sense, I've become a mirror of sorts for a handful of you. The image you see is the part of yourself you most don't want to see.

I get it. All your lives you've been made to feel invalidated by men (and sometimes other women) for the things that seemingly make you women. Menstruation would be one of those things and perhaps it makes you feel gross during those time of the month (I figure I would feel gross uf I had cramps, bliatong, and then blood shoot out my peehole ).

I think it's ok that it's gross and disgusting. I don't need to pretend like it's not gross and disgusting and neither do you. *shrug*

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by aelle

I did. I assumed it meant "I find myself hilarious", not "I know my post is factually incorrect".

If it was meant for laughs, what kind of humor mechanism was it supposed to rely on? Male bonding over a deliberately imprecise knowledge of the female body? What?

Oh my, I laughed and laughed...and laughed some more.

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by James81

I think it's ok that it's gross and disgusting. I don't need to pretend like it's not gross and disgusting and neither do you. *shrug*

James, you don't think what's "gross and disgusting" is subjective?

Although my original intention was to avoid this thread as much as possible, having to constantly see the title of this thread has given me reason to work out my own issue about it (which I admitted some posts back). I think now that I've dealt with it fairly adequately, and wanted to toss in my two cents.

The reason the title of this thread makes me wince, even now, isn't so much because I think menstruation is inherently "gross and disgusting", but rather because the sight of someone else's blood makes me queezy. I, myself, could have an artery stripped wide open, and hardly think a thing of it, but for whatever reason, other peoples' blood makes mine empty from my brain, or something. I can't explain why this is, medically, but it's actually gotten worse, over the years, and since menstruation means someone else's blood , well, I haven't yet worked that out. Maybe forcing myself to watch a good, bloody horror film might help, or something, but short of that, I don't know what else to do, except simply avoid the discussion, as I've been trying to do. I'm sure that I would likely react the same way to any threads treating of field dressing deer.

However, I understand that this is a women's health concern. My girlfriends have all had to deal with it--even my own mother, in her younger days, had to deal with it, and so by no means do I begrudge the women of the forum their need to discuss this topic. It still makes me wince to read the thread title, but I'm still aware that it's my issue, and that since there is no "women's health issues" subforum, I'll just go about my merry way again ...

Thanks, ladies, for your patience with us guys.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Why do you always turn around and make our complaints into something about our own personal character and psychological well being? That in it self is a form of invalidation. I can't say that I am offended as I find the situation almost ludicrous. We say that this isn't gross and you turn around and tell us, 'No ladies. This is how it is!'

Seriously?

Pulling the "your projecting" card is an easy way to avoid having to look at a persons own behavior.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by James81

I see your point of view, that's why I can be sarcastic about it. Mainly because the things you accuse me of (I.e. Not listening, being rude, etc) are all things that I could very easily point my finger back at you and say the same thing. In that sense, I've become a mirror of sorts for a handful of you. The image you see is the part of yourself you most don't want to see.

I get it. All your lives you've been made to feel invalidated by men (and sometimes other women) for the things that seemingly make you women. Menstruation would be one of those things and perhaps it makes you feel gross during those time of the month (I figure I would feel gross uf I had cramps, bliatong, and then blood shoot out my peehole ).

I think it's ok that it's gross and disgusting. I don't need to pretend like it's not gross and disgusting and neither do you. *shrug*

Do you mind stopping now? You are derailing the thread with your unwelcome and incorrect psychoanalysis.

You're right, I'm not listening to you and accepting what you're saying. That's because what you're saying is that menstruating is disgusting and vile and it's weird and gross to talk about it.

It doesn't make me feel "gross" in the sense that you're talking about, any more than it makes you feel "gross" to take a dump (or does it? Is that what this is about?). I agree that there is a certain "gross out" factor to using a cup; I think I mentioned that earlier, but I also mentioned that I LIKE it. I don't feel "vile and disgusting." (Your word choice has been extreme, and I think that's part of the issue you're running into.) Menstruating isn't "vile and disgusting."

However, when I read your posts, and your insistence that it IS the way you say it is (you've sure discerned The Truth about periods, haven't you?), I wonder... to what end? Are you trying to MAKE us feel vile and disgusting? Because what I'm getting from you, especially the last couple lines of your post here, is "You all SHOULD agree with me that your bodies do something vile and disgusting every month, and you SHOULD accept that." And it's like you're just going to hammer it over our heads until we agree with you.

And... um... no. I don't agree that my body is doing something vile and disgusting. I'm not in denial and I'm not pretending. That's a pretty unpleasant judgment to pass upon oneself, that "vile and disgusting" thing. I'm not going to apply those adjectives to my own completely normal and healthy reproductive system. I might concede a "gross ." But that's about it.

Why are you so invested in getting us to call our own bodies vile and disgusting? That's what I don't get. I don't really need an answer to that, though.