bigfoot introduction

[bigfoot]

So I wanted to introduce myself.

I'm a 26 yo guy living in chicago. Looking to start approaching women more consistently. Thats really my only goal at this point. Approach consistently and always ask for a phone #. I figure the rest will take care of itself if I develop that habit.

My plan:
-Devote 1 hour per day every day to approaching women.
-Write about it on this forum daily to keep myself honest.
-Continue reading/learning techniques to lessen my fear of approaching women.

Thats it. Thanks for reading. Definitely looking forward to getting to know everyone on here and grateful for any help you guys might be able to provide.


Bigfoot

[bigfoot]

Update today (10.11.11) :

Decided to establish more reasonable goals given my work schedule. Will try to talk to women for total of 15 hrs per week. Gives much more flexibility. Worked very late today and chose to listen to tony robbins tape instead of going out.

so updated goal is to spend 15 hrs per week talking to women and at least 1 hour per day either talking to women or engaging in some other self improvement exercise.

thanks
bigfoot

[Marger]

It's a great idea to practice if you're not good at something. Do you know what feeds your fear? What will happen if you talk to women, that makes it hard for you? It might be helpful to take note of what you think about when you try it.

Can you only practice in your own time, or do you have opportunities at work? Female collegues, the lunch lady or waitress at the coffee shop?

[rawxstasy]

I think it's helpful to think of your approach with women to make friends. There is less pressure on you and women can sense when a guy is desperate and looking for a relationship.

Also I'd offer my number to a girl and give her the chance to call me rather than ask girls for their number. I think a girl feels safer. But it's up to you.

[bigfoot]

Thanks for the input guys. I'm traveling for work today and am extremely tired. Going to listen to relisten to a tony robbins tape I recorded and then go to bed.

[bigfoot]

spent roughly 30 minutes on self improvement today. Recorded a lecture from tony robbins unlimited power that helped me a lot last time I listened to it. Was able to effectively go out after listening to it (last time) and talk to women on the street for several hours. Plan is to listen again tomorrow after work (hopefully will get out at reasonable hour) then go out.

[bigfoot]

Writing from Miami. Thinking about moving here for the winter. Plenty of beautiful women.

Last night's activity:
Checked out my co-workers girlfriend's surprise bday party. Talked to pretty much all the women there. Wasn't getting great reactions but all importantly I wasn't very bothered by that fact. Left the party and went to a bar next door by myself. Talked to a bunch of women and got a phone #.

Took cab over to area close to my neighborhood. Met another girl there who was pretty cool. Been texting back and forth with her.

Asked a girl out today that I met at the airport. She told me she had a bf and I was a little bothered by the rejection for a while. Dont know why. Recognized that I had a choice about how to interpret. Every time I ask someone out I should be patting myself on the back and giving massive props. Just another step towards completely not caring.

Bigfoot

[bigfoot]

Just got back from trip to NYC. Two great dates last weekend. Both went very well but I'm slowly realizing I'm only looking for a long term girlfriend. Just hooking up with people is not that fun anymore.

[Mickeyjay]

Originally Posted by bigfoot

Just got back from trip to NYC. Two great dates last weekend. Both went very well but I'm slowly realizing I'm only looking for a long term girlfriend. Just hooking up with people is not that fun anymore.

I agree as well. Hooking up is fun for the first few months or so but gets played out quickly. Keep up the good work though.

[bigfoot]

Want to get back in the habit of writing on here daily. Lets see how long I can go.

Back home now for thanksgiving holiday. Planning to meet a friend up at a bar nearby later tonight.

Met one pretty cool/cute girl in new york last weekend that I have been texting. Need to continue to push on that one.

Girl I met online in Florida continues to text me. Never seen anything like this. Texts every day. Actually she is a really good model for what I should be doing.

[bigfoot]

Want to accomplish 3 things in this post:

1.) summary of tape 1 of blueprint program
2.) drawing game improving inspiration from florida texter girl
3.) Other

Blueprint Tape 1 Summary--------------------------------------------------

program about signposts versus ego-based learning
not about memorizing but finding signpost that points you to genuine self

goal started as just approach 5 women a day to get girlfriend
(i.e. rely on volume to get the girl)

then realized could actually build a skill set to increase attraction
(i.e. improve hit rate on women you do meet)

want to take you on a journey from social conditioning to authenticity/self-esteem
think of as continuum (conditioning - authenticity) with most people on the left

most people in the world walk through life in a walking daze
dont know what their values are
dont know who they are
they are being tinkered with by other people

interesting book = sperm wars (robert dawkins?)

what is a chode?
-guy who doesnt have his own values
-no sense of identity
-cares what other people think
-thinks he has to go through social grind to get what he wants in life

you can get good with women you just have to "follow the damn instructions" "the path is laid out"


key question: why cant we get consistent results?

idea that other people are better/worse than you is ALL IN YOUR HEAD
gorgeous, beautiful socially proofed girl versus average looking guy with no special traits --> she's better than me (higher status)...NO...ALL IN YOUR HEAD

realization after going "natural" and getting nervous talking to girl who liked him:
all the tactics were just a shell and very little internally had actually changed

think of trying to teach people game as fitting together a puzzle in your reality
put in a puzzle piece...didnt fit...try again...click fits
continnous trial and error until enough things click that you core beliefs change

when you are talking to someone you should be amusing yourself first, other person second


Florida Texter (Section 2)-------------------------------------------------

Theres a girl I met ONLINE a couple weeks ago in Florida who has continued to text me DAILY even though I have frequently not responded well, promptly or at all. Not only that, she is not desperate. She is a very good looking woman. She is an inspiration to me because she obviously just doesnt care about the bs. She's not thinking "what if this guy doesnt want to talk to me", she's thinking "I want to text this guy so I'm going to". She doesnt use uncertainty about my feelings as an excuse for inaction. I think because she knows...deep down...that it DOESNT MATTER whether I like her or not yet. It only matters that she is interested in me. It doesnt matter because:

i.) being rejected is not a threat to her identity. She knows she is valuable to herself regardless of what other people think of her.
ii.) there could be a million reasons why I am not responding as quickly or enthustiastically as I might be able to, and none of them necessarily imply that I will never like her. Therefore it makes sense to keep trying.
iii.) Texting me is a form of amusement/entertainment for her meaning she gets someting positive out of it regardless of how I respond.

What have I noticed about how she initiates conversations:
1.) VERY RARELY with a question
2.) Frequently references something that is going on in her own life (not planned out. canned)
3.) Genuine expression of emotion without neediness. (especially first intro)
4.) Welcome other observations from anyone reading this...

Specific openers:
1.) Was nice talking to you. I'm glad you called even if we didn't meet up.
2.) Obviously its normal to spend an hour on phone at 3 AM with someone you haven't met
3.) Even with Sunday as lazy day, still feel like ran marathon this weekend
4.) My dog apparently thinks dry wall is delicious...
5.) I'm watching [MOVIE]
6.) Sometimes working for big company is pain in ass. Need approval from 5 people for something simple...
7.) Spoiler: it takes xx time to trim my dog's nails
8.) There are people on roof and making dog nuts



Other (Section 3)----------------------------------------------------------

Most of "game" is being able to control "random" factors (i.e. not related to simple attraction) that determine whether or not you end up dating/hooking up with someone. In my life, there have been plenty of instances where I was attracted to someone and they were attracted to me, but still nothing happened. Why? Because the random factors were working against me. Maybe we both happened to be busy for a while after meeting and forgot about each other. Maybe I texted her and the message was boring or she just didnt know how to respond to it. Maybe she got pulled away before I had a chance to take down her number. Maybe I chickened out and never asked for her number. Maybe I chickened out and never even approached her. Point is, we could both be attracted to each other but not end up doing anything about it for any of the reasons cited above and innumerable others.

I need to start focusing more on the subtle things (at all phases of the sales filter):
1.) how many times per day am I approaching?
2.) how often do I ask for numbers after opening (should be 100% of time)
3.) how effective is my opening text message at starting a long text conversation?
4.) how am I transitioning that text conversation into a phone call?
5.) how well is the phone call going?
...

I bet there are simple rules for most of this. E.g. text messaging: need to send out opening messages that are more intriguing/provocative and dont sound reactive/response seeking.

On a separate note, I'm realizing more and more what a spectator culture we live in (credit OC from blueprint for introducing me to this idea). In my own life, when I am trying to decide between 2 activities, I should be asking myself "which one of these is more action-based, which is more observational? Action-based should take precedence. Will take gradual effort to start incorporating this rule and following through. Remember, taking action is a muscle.


bigfoot

[bigfoot]

Feel like I have been neglecting my job spending so much time chasing tail. Missed a couple of soft deadlines last week that I probably could have made. Struggling for balance. Wish I had been able to take more time off.

[bigfoot]

Heard back from a girl today that I went on a date with months ago and then disappeared on me. I was persistent about calling/texting and she replied to me today and we talked over phone for 15+ min, made plans to get together this weekend. Never underestimate the simple power of persistence.

Going to try to listen to more blueprint material (new material) before going to bed today.

bigfoot