|05-25-2011, 01:40 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
39 and a bit...life is passing me by!
My name is Morgan and this is the first time I have posted to any type of forum. I am from Ireland but working in the UK.
I am not sure what to expect from this post but thought I would share what seems to be swirling around in my mind more and more.
I was 39 in February and focusing on the positives I have a beautiful wife who is expecting in the next two weeks and two beautiful children, one five and the other three. We moved back to Ireland about two and a half years ago and recently moved into our new home. I have a good job, I earn a good salary, I have a nice car...but yet, I dont feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing.
I work in a corporate structure but dont play the corporate game very well. I tend to talk too much, especially to the wrong people. I dont seem to be aware of my surroundings, what I mean by this is, I am not motivated to follow the internal intranet updates, the whos who and whats happening. I spend a lot of day daydreaming about material things, cars, money, gadgets etc and end up doing whats important from a work perspective last minute and more often that not to a poor standard.
This is all leading to a story that I feel compelled to tell, yet have already told many times from different perspectives. Almost a 'I feel sorry for me and look what happened to me' but I hope this time that with by writing it down I can learn something and maybe get that realisation that I am in control of my life and that unless I decide it wont happen.
Easy to say, but to date I dont seem to know how to enact! Friends often thank me for my advise but I never seem to follow through for myself. Often started but NEVER seen through, whether its a personal decison, ie stop smoking, lose weight, get fit, get up early, spend more time with kids, do the best I can at work...
Last October I got a wake up call...but on reflection I deserved it and chose to ignore it coming...destructive personality or just naive? I toyed with with the word 'stupid', but I know that I am not stupid, yet I act as if I am and certainly dont seem to learn from mistakes.
My story is a long one and probably better not to over do this first blog. If anyone is or was in a similar 'state of mine' and was able to overcome, then I will happily share my story if you would like to know. I would also love to know how you, as I see it, 'flicked the switch' to take control of what is our one shot at life and lifed the life you want.
I have started to read, something I never did growing up and while I have picked up several self help books you wont be surprised to hear that I have not finished any of them, but what I have taken is that how I think and feel plays a big part in how I live. But again, and to no surprise, I cannot seem to sustain this.
Thanks for your thoughts, and apologies if I have rambled too long.
|39 life, challenges, taking control|
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