Looking for meaning in life

[Victor1984]

Hi everyone, found this website while searching for personal development stuff online, would like to network with others who are looking for understanding and practical solutions to everyday problems ...

Abit about myself : I am a 26 year old guy, was studying in the states for my degree at a top-tier university in the midwest (engineering) till about a year and a half ago when i returned home to Asia. Was on my way to an honours degree when during my last quarter, i suddenly lost all interest in my studies - just couldnt take it anymore, i felt like i wasnt learning anything of value and was spending all my time memorizing formulas to pass exams. Stupidly, i dropped out of college with 4 credits to go and flew back home. I lied to everyone of course, up till now, all my friends and family think i have graduated.

After returning home, i took up a stint at a small engineering firm but dropped out after a few months due to not seeing any future in the company. Recently, i got an offer to be a proprietary trader at a bank (cant be a management trainee or consultant since no degree yet) and am currently studying for some financial exams to be qualified as a trader/dealer.

Want to learn more about self-improvement, effectiveness because i feel like i have been living in fear my whole life - fear of living, fear of failing my studies, now fear of failing my financial exams and also fear of not making enough money / making a decent career, getting laughed at. Ive always wanted to create something of real value to society, a product, an invention, a company, even an idea ... but procrastination and lack of direction have made me an underachiever so far.

There - i finally said it, whew suddenly feels abit lighter. Sorry if this sounds abit ranty, but its been a tough time recently and everything is from the heart.

Cheers,
Vic

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Victor1984

Hi everyone, found this website while searching for personal development stuff online, would like to network with others who are looking for understanding and practical solutions to everyday problems ...

Abit about myself : I am a 26 year old guy, was studying in the states for my degree at a top-tier university in the midwest (engineering) till about a year and a half ago when i returned home to Asia. Was on my way to an honours degree when during my last quarter, i suddenly lost all interest in my studies - just couldnt take it anymore, i felt like i wasnt learning anything of value and was spending all my time memorizing formulas to pass exams. Stupidly, i dropped out of college with 4 credits to go and flew back home. I lied to everyone of course, up till now, all my friends and family think i have graduated.

After returning home, i took up a stint at a small engineering firm but dropped out after a few months due to not seeing any future in the company. Recently, i got an offer to be a proprietary trader at a bank (cant be a management trainee or consultant since no degree yet) and am currently studying for some financial exams to be qualified as a trader/dealer.

Want to learn more about self-improvement, effectiveness because i feel like i have been living in fear my whole life - fear of living, fear of failing my studies, now fear of failing my financial exams and also fear of not making enough money / making a decent career, getting laughed at. Ive always wanted to create something of real value to society, a product, an invention, a company, even an idea ... but procrastination and lack of direction have made me an underachiever so far.

There - i finally said it, whew suddenly feels abit lighter. Sorry if this sounds abit ranty, but its been a tough time recently and everything is from the heart.

Cheers,
Vic

Hi Vic,

I hope you find the direction and destination you are searching for here or at least some entertainment and help as you become the person you were truly destined to become.