Recovering grad student, budding entrepreneur

[Ben]

Hi everybody, I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Ben and I just finished grad school and am slowly re-adjusting to civilian life. Steve's blog and, potentially these forums, are part of my ongoing convalescense.

I discovered the blog in the Spring of '05, when Steve was writing his series about the meaning of life. I was struck by how different it was from the other blogs I was reading, and I've been reading it ever since. Many blogs have come and gone from my feed reader in the intervening months, but Steve's has remained. No matter how busy I am, I alway find time Steve's latest post.

I think what keeps me reading is his technical approach to personal development. Before finding his blog, I had never heard anyone describe growth and spirituality using metaphors from computer science. It's a minor point, but I found the blog to be a more comfortable environment to learn about these subjects than your average new age bookstore, or blog for that matter. At the first sign of doubt, I could always say to myself, "It's cool, he can write code. He knows his trig identities."

Anyway, my grad school experience became increasingly unpleasant towards the end and Steve's blog provided me with some comfort during those dark days in the lab. A lot of my colleagues, when faced with similar pressures, look to high paying jobs and other material posessions as the reward for their sacrifices. Instead, I asked myself what was at the root of my unhappiness; what was the core problem with the direction I was choosing?

Well, I don't have a complete answer to that question yet. But I know that happiness for me most likely involves working towards something more meaningful than a large paycheck, and more fulfilling than being a cog in a corporate machine. I've since graduated and am in the process of rearranging my prorities to better reflect who I am. I decided not to take a corporate job and am trying to start a company with some friends. I'm also trying to live a more healthy and productive lifestyle. In the coming months, I hope to share some of my experiences and learn from this community.

Ben

[Calculusaurus]

Ben,

Welcome. I feel that rigorous academics is an interesting topic for personal development. It's good in some ways, but the pressure can become to intense. Should we learn time-management techniques to overcome those pressures and live in comfortable congruence with a high-demand lifestyle? Or should we bail out and live an austere, fulfilling life as a monk?

Ok, those are two extremes, but this is a decision I'm struggling with currently. I'm an undergraduate at a fairly rigorous university, and I'm often torn between two philosophies: (1) be a highly effective, productive, proactive accomplisher and make the most out of academic life; and (2) live in the present and focus your energy on being happy, even if that does mean falling behind in work.

Philosophy (1) will make your life active and interesting, but it's a constant struggle to try and change time-management habits. Philosophy (2) is about focusing on improving your emotional state, never letting grades or expectations of success get in the way.

On paper it's easy to say the solution is to find a way to make (1) and (2) congruent (I'm certain it's possible), but I think making (1) and (2) congruent is more difficult than improving (1) or (2) exclusively.

I hope I didn't diverge too much.

[Ben]

This is an excellent question, and, despite having spent ten years at universities, I'm not sure I have the answer. The ideal situation would be to find a major that aligns perfectly with your personal goals so that you'll want to learn the material whether it's graded or not. But, of course, this rarely happens. And what if you have found the perfect career but the education required is less than inspiring? What if you just want to keep all your options open by having a strong academic record?

I can only offer my own experience. I over-achieved in college and I ended up missing out on many college experiences (I performed my first keg stand last weekend at the age of 28--long story). But I did get the opportunity to go to grad school and learn from and study with many amazing people. The trouble was, I hadn't figured out what I wanted to get out of grad school. In fact, most of my colleagues hadn't thought much about this either. You don't have a lot of time for reflection when you're constantly fretting about the next exam.

I guess if I had it to do over again, I would probably still focus on my GPA, but in a way that required me to invest less time. When I read about Steve's college experience and how much he accoomplished in three semesters, compared with my own college experience, I wanted to cry. I mean, I knew I wasn't the most efficient student but next to his example my record looked terrible. I used to devote huge chunks of time to studying the way Stalin commanded the Red Army: sending in wave after wave of men until the opponent was overwhelmed by the sheer numbers, with no regard for the soldiers' lives. That inefficiency is probably my greatest regret from college.

So I guess that's a roundabout way of saying I would try to do both (1) and (2). Four years goes by quickly, and you'll have plenty of time to focus on (2) later (or at least that's what I've been telling myself for the last decade...).