hi - I am new and lost

[lilyann]

Hi! I enjoy learning about others. My favorite reads are biographies. I love paople and look foward to "connecting" with some of you. I am a little lost right now as I have lost my passion for my husband of many years. It has been seeping away. As soon as I feel the attraction return he will call me b---- or be disrespectful. He says he is sorry - but somehow - after 20+ years of this I don't care any more. I feel very indifferent toward him - and can not see myself being called names for 20 more years. He has accused me of withholding love. I only wish I were withholding. I feel nothing. So sad. I wish I did not place such importance on words - and I have tried to focus on the good but I can not talk myself into desiring him. I am warm with him but I feel absolutely nothing.

[cacheborn]

Hello lilyann,
Welcome to the forum.
From your description, your husbands sounds like a jerk. If he does not treat you with respect, he has no right to expect it from you. Same for love. The question you want to ask yourself is do you want to put your emotional energy in a relationship that is dying? And only you can answer the question.
Have a look also at different sections in the forum, mainly Social &Relationships and Emotional Mastery. You may find experiences similar to yours.
Treat yourself with respect and love.