Embracing Escape

[Silence]

P.S.: I realize this has become a dramatic wall of text from a 26 year old guy from Slovenia. In short I'm happy I found this site and hope to stay active and do my first steps into personal growth.

"Embrace Escape!"

Those were the words that woke me up. I've been asleep for over 6 years now - resting safely in my constructed world of escapism. Every day without drama, every day with minimal contact, every day - the same. All I needed to do each morning was to turn on the computer screen and there I was, diving into the beautiful world of movies, games and TV shows making the time dissapear. Sometimes I had to jump to the store for some food or show myself to my relatives but after that I made sure to quickly move back home protected by the four walls of my room. The room where I had my escapism machine. Where thinking could stop. And I could just relax. Only a few more decades to go...

"Your time is the most valuable thing you'll ever have."

It's funny that a happy chubby guy named Johnny (who apparently likes to walk around with devilhorns on his head) made me admit the truth to myself. I was just letting life go past! I never conciously thought to myself that I wanna spend my time this way. I belived I was just waiting for something big to happen. But it didn't ... I made sure it didn't. A nonexistant social circle and job that I can do from home which pays exactly enough to continue the status quo. Hard to get big things happen that way. I was basicaly going to Africa to find some penguins.

"Truth hurts."

It also makes you amazed, confused, happy, angry at yourself for doing this, overjoyed because you had an epiphany, sad for the time lost, excited because of new possibilitys and scared of the dream of escapism perfected through the years engulfing you again. I still feel all of these.

"Find your feet, and walk ..."

So asking myself "What next?" I decided to google that bastard Johnny who made me realize all these things and through a searies of links I found this site and this forum. I've read some things and listened to a part of Steves podcasts. I'm amazed at his journey and would love to start walking the path of personal growth as well. I guess this post would be the beginning of my first step.

"Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in!"

Hopefuly not back into the dream. Honestly I'm already feeling the pull and then this becomes a one-time post to some strangers on some forum. But I've realized my situation is not cool! Yes I don't feel much sadness or pain but same goes for happyness. My system makes sure everything goes numb, day by day, year by year ....

So instead of typing to just some strangers I'd like to think I'm typing to future friends and instead of just some forum I'd like to think this to be a starting ground for me in my new journey.

Thank you for reading my story and see ya tomorrow.

[Lauxa]

Reminds me of the M. Scott Peck quote --

Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.

(I think that's someone's sig on this forum...)

Welcome to the forums! (but I hope you realize they can be a major time drain )

Oh, and I'd recommend you read this article, if you haven't already: Feeling Blessed

[Silence]

Thanks Lauxa, that is a great quote.

I haven't seen the article you linked before and reading it gave me some good insight into what I have been doing all this time. I definately mastered the cycle described altho the reasons that began it are mostly vague to me at this point. The whole thing has been running for a long time ...

Regarding needing time - I have plenty! In a weird way I'm actualy kinda proud of the system I've created. If there was nothing more to life this would be a great way to let everything pass by. 14 hours of distractions making time fly and before you know it youre in it again. The perfect matrix for the hurt.

What I'm trying to be very concious about is making sure I take things step by step and do each step fully. I know the dangers of rushing through everything, becoming very well-informed but not really applying it. Getting better inside your head without any change in real life. And thus creating another cycle - only with a more worthy label.

I'd love to hear which beginning steps other people took in this journey and which ones they found really valuable. I did the exercise from the article and I found it very helpful. It was funny at start because when thinking about my future I saw the same picture over and over again of my room and my actions so far. It actualy took some mental effort to construct something new. A far away fantasy but something I feel strongly about. I'd love to think that one day it would be my new reality.

[lifetimelearner]

hey silence
glad to see another deep thinker

[Lauxa]

Originally Posted by Silence

What I'm trying to be very concious about is making sure I take things step by step and do each step fully. I know the dangers of rushing through everything, becoming very well-informed but not really applying it. Getting better inside your head without any change in real life. And thus creating another cycle - only with a more worthy label.

I'd love to hear which beginning steps other people took in this journey and which ones they found really valuable. I did the exercise from the article and I found it very helpful. It was funny at start because when thinking about my future I saw the same picture over and over again of my room and my actions so far. It actualy took some mental effort to construct something new. A far away fantasy but something I feel strongly about. I'd love to think that one day it would be my new reality.

How about starting with a 30-day trial? You could try either doing the imagination exercise every day for 30 minutes or giving up TV/video games or making the effort to socialize 3 times a week or whatever else you think would improve your life.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Keep posting here. You'll fit in here. What you need to do now is challenge yourself to do small things that get you started in the right direction. I believe Steve has a post called Progressive Training. Search those words on his website to give you some guidelines to get started on your path of personal growth.

[Silence]

Thank you guys for the replys.

To Lauxa:

I read the 30 days to Success article and it sounds great. Giving some thought into what to use it for. The imagination exercise already proved it's worth so no trial needed for that, subscribed full-time. Avoiding all the time sinks at this moment is a given for me as well. I'm gladly sentancing those for as much time as possible. The social idea you mentioned speeks the most to me but it's also a topic I have the most trouble finding a good plan with. I'll ask for help in the appropriate section of the forum if I don't come up with much by tomorrow.

To Andrew:

Found the post. Loved the part about stretching the boundaries. Being a little uncomfortable just means you're in a new situation that you're going to learn from. I actualy experienced it in a weird way yesterday ... I was walking. Not the usual hurried walking to the store or the bank that I used to do. It was a slow-paced stroll to get some fresh air and some sunlight and to also prepare my mind to more easly absorb the new ideas, thoughts and views. I actualy felt a little strange and out of place. I guess boundaries can shrink as well if we abandon things for longer periods of time. So the plan is to evolve a simple walk into something like a jog or a hike or maybe a short sprint. It's nice to imagine it visualy how such a simple thing like walking can branch out into all these categories and expand. And with it growing so do you...