Hello, it's a bit dark down there .. in my soul .

[SkyLy]

Hello again,
my name's Benjamin, i'm 16 years old and i live in France .
// care, 1/2 of my life is written down here, this may not be interestant
I've stumbled upon Steve Pavlina's website 3-4 weeks ago . I sometimes looked for some advice on personnal developement website or forum, but didn't find much consistent, and lately my last reason to live was to find a way to get out of the hole i had digged . To say that when i found Steve's website, it was like a bible to me . Almost everything is written down in his book and blog, and now the hard part is to apply everything, but for me i've first to understand the whole book :

for example when Steve writes that we're already linked with everyone, to imagine this bond . How to "use" this ? I feel that everything would be easier with such a state of mind, but how to live like this ?
Shall i conciously imagine such bonds day after day in order to get it in my incoucious ? ( Thanks in advance if someone answers )

For my actual "personality" and else, i'm among the worst a human can be, even if not, i'm sure i'm not so far from it . ( it's not negative thinking, i just exagerate the fact i can do much more than i now do ^^ ) I'm experiencing a lack of will, the one when your arm feels heavy while class lessons and you become full or energy when you got out of the class room . My life is filled with desires, but i never took action to make one . This is how i live since i'm born, changing my hobbies once a week . ( maybe not so much )

I'm looking for assistance by registering here, but i don't know how to not make my registering a unique-direction "relationship", since i read about 7 books in my whole life, didn't watch TV during my childhood and didn't do any activity other than playing video games and surfing on the web . I won't be able to help anyone here on the board .

One more thing : about my level of conciousness, i'm ~guild-shame, but i never looked onto suicide and i'll never look onto it .

ahem, this isn't an autobriography, i think i've already written too much ... thank you if you've read this,
See ya .

[jthomson71]

My first piece of advice which will lead to more and more enlightenment for you is start living from a state of gratitude. What does that mean??? Stop thinking about what you aren't or what you don't have and start thinking of what you are and what you do have and watch the incredible shift in your reality. I haven't even met you and I'll give some things you should already be grateful for in your life. You have access to information, like what is found on this website that can change your life. You have the physical ability to get to a computer and find information, you have access to a computer that provides you this information, you are wise enough to be searching for information from others when you are in need, you have the freedom to express yourself, you have the freedom to be able to access information and learn and grow and evolve as a human being. Stop thinking in your Lack and start focusing on what you do have and that simple shift in your thinking will awaken things you can't even imagine.

[SkyLy]

Thanks a lot, i'll try to, but realizing it will take some time i think :
i often understand things about myself or the world itself while introspecting or reading, i say it in my head "yeah, that's right ." but, this way of thinking, this way of living is not part of me . I think i've never feeled any conscious change by conscious thinking .. should i repeat to myself what i think is good and "focus" on it ?