Another day another new perspective

[AdamJE]

Hello everybody my name is Adam and I'm from Corpus Christi Texas, a small city that you probably haven't herd of. I have never participated in a forum like this before.
I "Stumbled Upon" this site randomly one day to the article of how to be an early riser. I immediately fell in love with this site after reading the polyphasic article. It is Thursday Dec 18 and school lets out tomorrow for winter break. I plan to use this time to give my own shot at the polyphasic lifestyle. I am 17 and I have carefully looked into this subject. I am a full carnivore as well as a full time high school student. I will post more on my intentions on a new thread that I will create in the new future but for now more introduction.
I am a honors student and I take only the most challenging courses in high school but my grades have always had a downwards slope since my first year of high school. I am currently taking dramatic measures to improve myself and get back to the better person that I once was and KNOW that I can be once again. I have started slacking due to a great depression that as consumed me that has to do with my family life. If compelled to I will talk about this later as well.
I am a huge procrastinator. In fact as I type this I am procrastinating a project that needs to get finished. In my depression I have allowed my mind to wind down and I have an all around lethargic feeling to life right now. Sloth is my sin.
In the past I have a habit of analyzing things and then quickly deciding whether or not to do something. I will give up something without even trying to my best effort because I will quit if I can predict my failure.
There is a lot of wrongness in me that I need to address and work out.
I feel that I am trying to do too many things at once and am failing at all of them. Since I refuse to tone down my activities I need to create a system to adapt to them.
Since I believe that self improvement is what this site is all about, I thought it natural to start here. I look forward to future conversations with you but my school life will severely limit my time here.

[Mikasi]

Hi Adam, I am new here too. I went to high school many years ago, but reading your post, it brings back many of the same thoughts and feelings I had back then. It has taken me from then until about last summer to realize that it is only I who own my own happiness, and that no matter what I do, or what goes on around me, I can finally make a choice to be happy. Once I saw that, and really started to live it, the complexity that is my life suddenly got easier. I am a school teacher, and find my job to be intellectually stimulating, emotionally and mentally challenging, not to mention difficult at times. Now that I am happier within myself, however, all of that "stuff" has really gotten easier. If I could have one wish in all the world it might be that all people feel happy and at peace with themselves.

[AdamJE]

Thank you for that Mikashi,
Those really are some encouraging words.
I do believe that I can one day achieve the hapiness that you speak of but I don't think that it will happen until I reach adulthood and have escaped this city I have lived in my whole life. Its nice to be reminded that others have felt this way before and that they got over it.

[Mikasi]

I have SO been where you are right now! I used to think, "If I get accepted into this or that college..." of "if _____ asks me out..." or "if only my family would get along..." (or any other thoughts that people and events determine what makes me happy) then I will feel happy... I used to make my happiness conditional, dependent upon some external event.

It is possible to find happiness anywhere you are. In fact, the faster you decide to be happy right here, right now, the faster you will realize you goals and dreams.

I spent a lot of years fighting, working hard, pushing myself to get what I wanted, and only recently realized that once I turned off that voice that told me to compare myself to others, or that said I could only be happy if_______ happens, then miracles started to happen in my life. You will find this because you want it, and because at such a young age you are already starting to see the meaning of reflecting about your life. Keep it up, decide youwant to be happy, and see what happens!