Hello everyone!

[Truthsayer]

I am hoping that God has answered my prayer by guiding me to this website. I am in dire need of some fresh insight and constuctive advice from others of like mind and life experience.
I was pondering the question of why a certain pattern keeps repeating itself in my life and turned to the web for help. I found this site after checking out some others that didn't "feel" right.
Here is my dilemma;

This particular pattern began about eight years ago when I finally decided to get a job after raising my daughter as a single parent on welfare for eleven years. I waited so long because I am only qualified to work minimum wage jobs. I would be working to pay the babysitter only, so I waited until my daughter was old enough to sit herself for an hour or so after school, then I got a job. My life up to that point wasn't all that great but I maintained a stable home environment for my daughter and myself. Things were fine for three years after I started working, then I was fired from my job. I was soon after evicted from my apartment. My daughter and I went to one of the homeless shelters for women until I could find another place and another job.

The shelter I was at is funded by the department of community services and is basically a revolving door for drug and alcohol addicts who have no incentive to reform. While I was there I landed another job and soon found an apartment. One year later, I lost my job by default and again couldn't pay the rent. I was evicted and went sraight back to the shelter. I got another job and apartment and again everything was fine for another year or so. This time I quit my job. I gave my landlord notice and moved out by the end of the month. I went back to the shelter. My daughter is now eighteen and going to college in september. She is working and has her own place, but I am still at this shelter. All of the women here now as in the past still have drug and alcohol addiction problems. I never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol in my life, but I am forced to live the sad reality of it through these other women. How did I attract this experience into my life? Why is it a repeating pattern in my life? The universe is trying to tell me something and I have no idea what it is. If getting another job and finding another place to live are not my options, then what are my options? If what I have been doing in the past is not the right thing, then what SHOULD I be doing?
I don't feel that I am in a position to help or advise these women on overcoming their addictions as I have never walked in their shoes, nor am I professionally trained to do so. I do feel empathy for them and many of them respect me as one would a mother figure.
Any fresh insight or advice on this dilemma will be greatly welcomed.

[Dan.Linehan]

Hi Truthsayer,

Thanks for joining. It seems like the recurring pattern here is the loss of your home, not meeting addicts. That is just a side effect (they tend to lose their homes too.)

I would say that the real question is why do you keep choosing to leave your apartments? What would it take to get you to build a home you love, and want to stay in?