Need Answers

[caljam]

HELLOW TO ALL

This my first post. I have a lot on my mind but don't know how to express it in words.
I am 46 years old and starting my life over once again. My past is full of wonderful and happy times and full of painful ugly regrets. I have made more mad decisions than good
ones. I married late in life out of lust (Not Love) and the only good thing from that was three beautiful children, three girls (twins 14 years old and one 8 years old) I am divorced
from there mother because of my drug use and legal trouble and take full responsibility for that out come. I am happy to say that was all ten years ago I have not used drugs or been in trouble since 1997 thats when I went to truck driving school and got my CDL I have had many jobs since then because of my temper, when I get stressed out I lose it and do or say things that get me fired. Today all this has finally caught up with me, because of my many jobs and my criminal history I cant get employed with all the back ground checks now days. I have been terminated form jobs for not disclosing my history and would not been hired if I did. I have a wonderful sister and brother in law and would be homeless with out them. I decided to up-grade my CDL to open some employment doors
when I went to the DMV to do this I found out the state is suspending my driver licenses for non payment of child support with that I am at my end out of answers. My X is remarried and they both are registered nurses making 150.000 a year. At my best I make
36.000 a year I know and except that it is my responsibility to help support my children but there is something real wrong with I struggle to survive and they go on Hawaiian Cruz.
Can any one help me make some since out of this and give me some kind of direction I have been very a very proud man in my life (TO MUCH) now I am not sure what to do.
Any Ideas will be much appreciated.

[Dan.Linehan]

Hi caljam! Welcome aboard, and great to meet you!

Sorry to hear about the financial worries. It sounds like upgrading your license is a good start, but there might be other careers you find fulfilling too. Do you truly love truck driving, or would you like to try another type of job?

[Dan.Linehan]

Also, have you talked to your ex about this situation?

[eskimo]

Sounds like you've been living your life based on your EGO (of which pride is a potent fuel) and it's caught up with you. You're gonna have to rebuild your life by first re-laying the foundation based on solid, Godly principles.

You also need not compare your situation to your ex-wife's as, in your spiritual journey, you have an entirely different set of lessons to learn and overcome from her.

Do you have access to a reputable local church or other spiritual organization?

[Transilient]

Wow, a lot seems to be getting in your way of moving in the direction you want.

You said you take full responsibility for you past mistakes, what about your current situation? I know, personally, this is a difficult pill to swallow.

A few suggestions:

- Loose the "poor me" attitude it is not helping you
- Don't begrudge others happiness because you may not be happy
- Forgive yourself
- Decide what you really want
- Find out what you steps you need to take
- Take action (posting here is a great first step)
- Read other post from people who have been where you are
- post a copy of this in main forum for more feedback

I congratulate you on taking this step and your courageousness in exposing where you are right now.

You can and will find your path.