Gidday all

[Jamesy]

I found this site searching for Khalil Gibran, and I'm glad I found it because I think I'd fit right in here. Not that I think I'm particularly smart, but because I hope to be.

I'm a 25 year old depressed highschool/university dropout unemployed wayseeker. I don't meet many people like myself so hopefully I can find some kindred spirits here. This seems a good a place as any, perhaps better than most.

[sabrefist]

Hi there,
I'm also new to the forum (although I've visited stevepavlina.com for a while now). I hope you enjoy your visit here. I've been unemployed since I finished college a year ago but I've managed to get on a foundation university course. This course offers opportunities to people who haven't got great grades in college, haven't been in any further or higher education or have previously dropped out of university.

anyway, good luck,
Sabrefist

[audioartist]

hi jamesy

i can identify with your depression, un-employment and also failing things at university...

university is not as important as you think! so do not worry about things that may have happened in the past because that is not you, you are who you make yourself now

i learnt more in my year out (through failing modules) than i ever did while at uni

i think the education you can give yourself by knowing what you want to do and finding a way to get there is far more valuable

and hey, at least your not in 18k of debt! lol

[audioartist]

what is it you want to do with your life?

or are you still searching for that answer?

[Jamesy]

Thanks for replying everyone.

I know university isn't especially important to success (although it often does help especially when you're trying to specialize). For example, my brother is also a college dropout and never did receive his high school diploma, and he works for a venture capital firm making a ridiculous amount of money for his age and education level. He's actually helping me out quite a bit in terms of staying afloat.

No, no 18K but relatively close.I do have 12,000 in student loans and 5,000 in credit card debt (sigh).

I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. I often dream of leaving everything to become a hermit. The things I think I would like to become, like a teacher or therapist, require years of training and I'm not confident I will be able to last that long in school. My mind is foggy and I have been depressed for years and years. I have a deep seated distrust of anyone who claims to want to "help" me like doctors (and for good reason which I won't go into right now) so I do not see a therapist. Honestly, I haven't given therapy a chance and I know I should try, but my heart remains guarded. I don't ever speak to even my friends and family about my problems, except for those times when it becomes obvious through my inability to provide for myself.

I rely on self help and peer help from online sources as my only means of resolving conflicts within myself, and to try and figure out why I exist, why anything exists. I don't consider my problems to be particularly unique although they do often make me feel alone.

I fear that one day I will wake up on my deathbed, having done nothing of any consequence, always paralyzed by fear. I am torn between wanting to believe there is meaning to things and what my experience has taught me: That all is vain and meaningless. I have never met anyone personally who is willing to ask these questions of themselves, and so often have my thoughts been dismissed when shared that I gave up.

It's late, I'm going to go to bed before I write a book

[Dan.Linehan]

Hi Jamesy, welcome aboard!

For what it's worth, I think you're on the right track. And I'm sure there are some jobs out there that you would enjoy that don't require certification.

What course of study would you want to teach?