Commitment Not to Be Involved ...

[Bluesman]

This place is, metaphorically, is my problem … and hypothetically, the solution to my problem.

I spend hours upon hours of my productive workday … on the internet. It starts innocently enough with a check of personal email (Yahoo! and Google), and quickly leads to my favorite websites (CNN, ESPN, Google News, local news) and my favorite blogs (too many to list). I end up posting comments in various places, maybe sending out a few emails and answering a few calls at the same time. I check back to see if anyone responded to me. This process eats hours upon hours of my work time. It is equal parts laziness, procrastination, and stupidity, and it has been my M.O. for years!

I spend another large chunk of my day, writing ideas and self-analysis and journal entries and goals/commitments, none of which is directly related to my work (attorney). I have been stuck in a “career slump” of sorts, for a very long time, and my habits have created a situation where this is all a self-fulfilling prophesy. I am stressed and unproductive at work, just getting by with bare minimum competency, because I use all of my time to avoid work. I leave the office, nearly every single day, feeling depressed, demoralized, angry with myself, like a failure. It is like my own personal version of the movie, Ground Hog’s Day. I have effectively destroyed my once-unstoppable will-power and self-discipline, and I cannot even keep personal commitments that I make from hour to hour.

I have tried a broad range of resources, including all of the usual resources, productivity books, and methodologies, but no models or plans work without the motivation to act … or refrain from acting, as the case may be. It is the classic story of “wanting” without willingness. And I hate it.

So I am going to make a very strange commitment to this online community … I am not going to be involved here. More specifically, I commit that I will NOT use my work computer for entertainment (surfing websites, reading personal email, posting to blogs), other than to check into the website to verify that I have kept my commitment. My commitment starts on Monday morning, Juy 14, 2008.

Suggestions and encouragement are certainly welcome ... just don't expect a long reply And thanks to Steve Pavlina for making the website available.

Bluesman

[Dan.Linehan]

Hi Bluesman, thanks for posting.

Man, I would love to be a lawyer.. I'd immediately join the ACLU and get my hands dirty in as many scandalous projects as possible.

Maybe the work you're doing just isn't inspiring? If you're just doing the bare minimum -- that's usually what it would seem to reflect.

[Angela]

Good luck, Bluesman -- Hello and goodbye!

[wachusettgirl]

Hi Bluesman
You are definately right about the self-fulfilling prophesy. "What you think about you bring about", (Michael Beckwith), and what you say aloud and write is given even more power in the universe. It seems to me like you are searching, and that perhaps you are much further along in your spiritual path than you realize. Maybe you should step outside the paradigm of what you believe is expected of you as an attorney, (guy, husband, son, father or whatever else) spending your time "productively", and trust and experiment with where you are being pulled. If you look at everything as an opportunity to learn and discover, as opposed to something that is bad or a waste of time, then that is what it will become. Your Higher Self may be trying to tell your Ego to let go and trust your intuition. Something important that you've been searching for may be found on the websites and forums that you've been drawn to, so you should stay open to all of the possibilities and visualize only that which you want.

[BenThere]

Hi Bluesman,

I'll expect that it might take a while for you to write back, since you won't check this at work.

What is your ideal work? Would you like to continue as an attorney, but it in a situation that is happier for you? Or would you really prefer to leave the legal life behind and start a new chapter in life?

[txjarhead]

Originally Posted by Bluesman

This place is, metaphorically, is my problem … and hypothetically, the solution to my problem.

I spend hours upon hours of my productive workday … on the internet. It starts innocently enough with a check of personal email (Yahoo! and Google), and quickly leads to my favorite websites (CNN, ESPN, Google News, local news) and my favorite blogs (too many to list). I end up posting comments in various places, maybe sending out a few emails and answering a few calls at the same time. I check back to see if anyone responded to me. This process eats hours upon hours of my work time. It is equal parts laziness, procrastination, and stupidity, and it has been my M.O. for years!

I spend another large chunk of my day, writing ideas and self-analysis and journal entries and goals/commitments, none of which is directly related to my work (attorney). I have been stuck in a “career slump” of sorts, for a very long time, and my habits have created a situation where this is all a self-fulfilling prophesy. I am stressed and unproductive at work, just getting by with bare minimum competency, because I use all of my time to avoid work. I leave the office, nearly every single day, feeling depressed, demoralized, angry with myself, like a failure. It is like my own personal version of the movie, Ground Hog’s Day. I have effectively destroyed my once-unstoppable will-power and self-discipline, and I cannot even keep personal commitments that I make from hour to hour.

I have tried a broad range of resources, including all of the usual resources, productivity books, and methodologies, but no models or plans work without the motivation to act … or refrain from acting, as the case may be. It is the classic story of “wanting” without willingness. And I hate it.

So I am going to make a very strange commitment to this online community … I am not going to be involved here. More specifically, I commit that I will NOT use my work computer for entertainment (surfing websites, reading personal email, posting to blogs), other than to check into the website to verify that I have kept my commitment. My commitment starts on Monday morning, Juy 14, 2008.

Suggestions and encouragement are certainly welcome ... just don't expect a long reply And thanks to Steve Pavlina for making the website available.

Bluesman

Very interesting post.

I would also love to be an attorney as well. My response is a question; why did you become an attorney?

I am in a similar situation. I've often wondered if the internet prohibits my success. I can find myself in your situation almost any day of the week. I get by, barely, at my job.

I have also read all of the self-help books, tried new methods to get out of my rut in life. I've not experienced any success yet.

My solution is to change jobs. I'm going to stay within my profession, but in an entirely different situation. Perhaps that would help you?

I asked why did you become an attorney because the answer to that question may lead you in the right direction. Change the focus of your career. You are in a opportune position to make a difference. Perhaps your work doesn't inspire you.

Best of luck.