Hello! Please read about me(I am different)

[Jordan]

Hi, good thing I gotcha reading on such a catchy title. My name is Jordan Rodgers I am from Austin Texas and I seek out 1 thing coming to this web site. A pit crew to repair my brain on allot of issues I need help solving that I can't do alone.

Background check
Where: San Jose, California 1989-1989
When: Born-8
Who: It was me, mother, and father

* = I still don't know
What: My mother lead our family to Austin Texas from san jose after *I was accused of graffiti the walls in a private schools bathroom* It never happend...I swear on my life, they claimed to have proof by comparing scribbly hand writing to graffiti writing...is'nt graffiti chicken scratch by nature BTW. after I was kicked out they found out it was a group of Jr. High losers trying to look cool by writing cuss words all over the elementary school bathrooms. We did not even know some of the words they used, how the hell could I have written that?

This was a top notch school, grades K-12 with all students wearing uniforms and combed hair being driven to school in there dads 30,000$ porche. I was from the gettos of east san jose, being driven 1hr each way by my mother on her way to work. My grades where not enough to impress the principle and gave me the 3rd degree for bad grades...in 2nd grade...rich people

My mom did not know where to put me and my sister lauren in school so she moved us to austin texas by age 10. We traveled in a RV and had allot of tension building between my mom yelling at my dad driving in the RV. Road trips suck if you argue all the time...trust me. My dad lost our entire life savings of *700,000$ we earned in san jose on the stock market after he was told NOT to do it by my mother. After that bad mistake my mom moved us in with her grand parents because she did not have a choice. We stayed in the top floor of my grand parents house. My dad was verbaly, pysicaly, and mentally abusive towards lauren and I, and my mother to get what he wanted. He was a con artist in hiding.

Cutting to the chase of current day issues.

I learned the hard way, I am 18yrs old. I was born with turrets syndrome which caused allot of bullying in school. I went grade 5-8 with 1 person over at my house to visit me. But I discovered he wanted to get with my step sister and was using me. my mother has remaired to a "In the Box" person. He can't accept new things, so he hates what my family is. We are reminded every day by my step father that I am a loser, my sister is a wore, and my mother is a phyco bitch.....every single day.....by my step father

My step father was remarried after a BRUTAL divorce. He had 3 kids, My mom had 2....5kids....1 provider, get this. His boss is his ex wifes dad. So in other terms his ex father in law was his boss...his job makes him so miserable that it wears off on everybody in the entire house. Fighitng happened allot, not just because of my step father...but because the house was like high school drama at home. The Line up: Step sis: cheerleader Step Bro: Football jock Carson: strait A student with a immature nature, Step Father: Main provider Blood related: Mother, out of work struggling mother with 2 kids Lauren: the town Slut...not joking, I run into so many people who just walk up to me and say "Hey arn't you *****'s Brother?" Me "Ya, so?" Dude I totally boned her last night...it was awesome". I never know what to say to that besides...good job, do you want a cookie or a piece of special cake?" Me:"The lines a bit long for the cookie, so I would recommend the special cake if your in a rush."

A combination of being told I am nothing to getting nothing and receiving absolutely nothing but bad grades in school, no motivation at home, lack of security at home, bullying at school...which I came home crying 4 days a week. No love show by my father. After the divorce he moved to Hawaii and had a nice vacation while me and my sisters suffered through our remaining lessoned life. I never had anybody there to teach me to shave the hair off my face, keep a good work ethic, and most of all be honest and responsible while doing it.

Out of no 2 months before I received my GED I had a set of events that would changed me and my life forever.

I found my first girl friend, I don't know what she saw in me...she looked past my fear of going to school and being picked on, she did not care about what others think, she was intelligent and strong with a blunt personality that saw the truth and not the "Mask" that everybody wears. She coincidently had the same name of my mother...who everybody seems to say personality wise, is exactly like my mother but not such a door mat.

I don't know if my repellent for my love came because my subconscious mind tied my girl friend in place of my father and mother. I was so used to being beaten down for doing something I loved by my father. Simply because it was not in his interest...he has been to prison, stolen, cheated, lied...he is a criminal. But I did not know ANYTHING of my father because my mom did not ever tell me anything about him...I don't know why. I don't know even if I know everything I should know. But non the less I took after my father, I wanted him to be around SOOO much that I took what I already knew he did and did in to relate to him so he might love me. I listened to him, and only him because its a father sun thing....I don't know how to explain it to women like my mom. It is not her fault because She can't teach me how to shave my face or be a guy.

After 10 Years of a long Vacation that my dad took he was finaly back in town!! I was so exited I might have 1 more shot at having a dad...at age 18...big mistake

I also was dating a girl who was so into me that i could not accept it, I petrified of being rejected just like everybody else in life. We dated seriously for 6 months..not a long time because of me..I blamed her because thats another thing my dad taught me and implemented to get what he wants...my teacher of magic tricks. My dad. he tricked me so well that I did not even listen to my self and what I wanted. I became selfless in nature and did'nt listen to my girl friends request for love that she so blatantly put into my face. She even went so far as saying the "All I want is you" line...and I did'nt know what that means. I was to busy not thinking about who really loved me and what it really was..instead I was focused on what I wanted to make my father and I's relation ship. He was giving me advice on girls but instead only made it worse for me, but better for him...saying how she was wrong all the time. So of course..I was stupid and urned for the fatherly figure I have been missing in life and accepted that my girl friend was not right for me...but I know she was...I just dident have enough trust in my self to belive my self and constantly blew her off...was a jerk...embarrassed her...abused her, because my dad was manipulating me.

this happened in a 1 week period
I was, as expected....dumped by my girl friend
My father left town...again for a sales job in Monrovia California.
I did not have a job

I realized my situation:
No money
No friends
Out of shape
Sick
In a bad every day environment

And then decided its not EVER going to end for me like this! I set up a set of goals and thing I want to accomplish and I am not focused on the out come...but on how it is done. I got more organized and am studying to apply for a jr. collage, I moved out of my step dads house to san diego california to NOT START OVER, but to continue forward to a happy, successful fulfilling life that I deserve just as much as everybody else in this free country does.

I want to start by saying I have acknolaged allot of weak points I have in my person....I am fixing them 1 step at a time, but right now the step I am having the hardest time fixing is:

School, I have developed a fear of school. Because of allot of crippling teachers, no friends, and bad decision with pot. I will talk more about pot later if its important to help me.

I think the root of my problems is not just school....its the kids that are there with me. When I say the wrong answer to a problem I think I look stupid...but the same thing happens when I talk to people at parties of any size.
So it is not that I can not do the work...it is because I just don't want to. Allot of the contribution is fear of being judged.

I have been home schooling my self core subjects I know I am week in. I have implemented xersize and eating right and seeing allot of stunning results...I started at 6'4" weight 180lbs, never worked out a day in my life, I had a beer gut and could not walk up the stairs with out breaking a sweat. 3 months later I am now 165lbs with a very low body fat and I ditched the beer keg and I have a six pack. I feel so much better knowing that the work I did made me feel great. I now want to put that work into other things in hopes it will make me feel great as well...I don't want to be a dumb slab of meat.

I am trying to decide what I want to do and I need some advice.

How do I overcome this whole fear of school?
How do I overcome my turrets?
How do I find a good lover?
What kind of a carer opportunities do you see opening up for the electric cars?

[Trezker]

Yeah yeah, you're unique, just like everyone else...

Welcome, help yourself to a cookie then get to work.
You may want to split all those issues and discuss each them in separate threads. It gets so messy when you try to take it all on in one thread.

[Dan.Linehan]

Hey Jordan, welcome aboard! Thanks for joining, and the backstory.

It sounds like you are doing really well. Personal development isn't always easy, especially not when you are first starting.

What is your living situation like now? I think you would benefit from maintaining as peaceful a home life as you can -- I know living by myself has made life a lot easier on me, as sometimes I can get caught up in other people's drama if I have roommates.

Now I live alone, and my place has a really harmonious, relaxing feel to it.

As far as school -- I've known lots of kids who kept to themselves and didn't answer questions. I'm that way too, unless I'm sure of the answer I just won't say anything, or I'll just say I don't know.

I think there will be lots of opportunities for modding hybrids into PHEV -- you should see if anyone is doing it in your area.

Have fun Jordan, and looking forward to seeing you around the forums more soon!