I'm running away. Want to help?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I am considering moving to a new city or even country. I just feel like I need a change in my life and that I need to get out of the cycles I am living in. Running away is generally not how I would advise someone deal with a problem -- facing it head-on seems most courageous. But, I am still considering it .

So, the point of this thread is to ask everyone here to "sell" where you live or some place you've been. I've only lived here in Texas and for a short stint in Colorado (but I was only 8). Even my traveling so far has been limited. I need ideas.

Requirements: I'll need a job of course, so any ideas about the job market in an area are helpful. I don't have a career now, just a job. I also don't know for sure what I want to do, so I am open to many things, even a much more physical job (desk jobs are getting really boring).

Would-like-to-haves: Relatively low cost of living (probably nowhere like NYC), good public transportation (I would love to be able to sell my car), cultural and community events.

Would-be-nice-but-not-so-important: Accepting and accomodating of English speakers. I would love to and would work hard to learn another language, but I'd be sure to need help and understanding at first.

I am sure there is a lot more, but I've only just started thinking about this.

So, where should I go?

[Erki]

How are you going to find a place to live? Say you move to a whole other country - who's gonna sell or rent you a living place if they don't know you? (And you don't know about them or the actual place either).

These are actually my questions, since I'm in the same boat with you - and these are my concerns.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Well, I don't know how it is in most places. I haven't thought of that actually. I don't suppose my good credit rating and rental history in the US will do me any good abroad .

However, I am not averse to staying in hostels while I figure it out. If I move overseas I would go minimalist. If I move within the US, I would take all of my stuff with me.

Hopefully some well traveled souls will have an answer for us!

[Erki]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I don't suppose my good credit rating and rental history in the US will do me any good abroad .

I dunno, maybe it does? US history is better than no history(me)? And you're older(than me) and female too; both seem to be advantages when it comes to finding a living place. (I suppose you're going to rent, not buy right away? )

Where do you feel you would go? Hawaii? US *and* overseas.

[Honeywith4bees]

I have no suggestions just an " Ohhh, Clarity!", I can't imagine what has inspired you to want to run away, but I can guess that it must be something painful, so I'm sorry!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Erki

I dunno, maybe it does? US history is better than no history(me)? And you're older(than me) and female too; both seem to be advantages when it comes to finding a living place. (I suppose you're going to rent, not buy right away? )

Where do you feel you would go? Hawaii? US *and* overseas.

Hmmm, I can see how being older may help if I am seen as more "responsible" but I am really curious to know how being a woman would help? I think it would leave me more open to being taken advantage of (or at least someone trying to).

I won't be buying any property or a home unless I decide to permanently move somewhere. Right now, I like the idea of being able to pick up and go if I wanted.

I am sure I would love to go to Hawaii, but I don't know if I could afford it. I'd like to live somewhere where I don't need tons of money to live comfortably.

Where do you think you will go?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

I have no suggestions just an " Ohhh, Clarity!", I can't imagine what has inspired you to want to run away, but I can guess that it must be something painful, so I'm sorry!

Thanks, Honey. It's just the same old song and dance -- only I am considering that I may not be able to stop singing and dancing while I am so close to the same old stage.

And after losing my dear friend, I have thought I'd have a better chance sorting out my head away from the familiar.

[Erki]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Hmmm, I can see how being older may help if I am seen as more "responsible" but I am really curious to know how being a woman would help? I think it would leave me more open to being taken advantage of (or at least someone trying to).

Well, women are generally seen as more responsible than men, too. And especially if considering sharing a house with other people, especially if one or more of them happen to be female too. Females won't take advantage or rape anyone, you see. I on the other hand would be a hazard.

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I am sure I would love to go to Hawaii, but I don't know if I could afford it. I'd like to live somewhere where I don't need tons of money to live comfortably.

I don't know how much money one needs to live in Hawaii. Surely fishing equipment isn't too expensive. And it should be warm there too... See, I have everything thought out!

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Where do you think you will go?

New Zealand.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Erki

Well, women are generally seen as more responsible than men, too. And especially if considering sharing a house with other people, especially if one or more of them happen to be female too. Females won't take advantage or rape anyone, you see. I on the other hand would be a hazard.

Surely not you, Erki!

Originally Posted by Erki

I don't know how much money one needs to live in Hawaii. Surely fishing equipment isn't too expensive. And it should be warm there too... See, I have everything thought out!

I think it may be hard to find a place to live in Hawaii simply because space is limited. I do think I could live very happily sleeping on the beach, however I really don't like fish all that much .

Originally Posted by Erki

New Zealand.

I hear it's beautiful there.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I am considering moving to a new city or even country. I just feel like I need a change in my life and that I need to get out of the cycles I am living in. Running away is generally not how I would advise someone deal with a problem -- facing it head-on seems most courageous. But, I am still considering it .

Can you figure out a way to get the same effect as running away without actually having to? What you are looking for is big changes or getting out of the rut, right? Can you change your work hours? Take up a new hobby or exercise routine? Or tell the people you regularly see that you want to do really different things? Like take a drive to the coast (gulf coast I'm assuming). Or check into spas. Or drive up to Sedona? How far is that? Book a hot air balloon ride? Or just make a trip plan - like to Africa.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

Can you figure out a way to get the same effect as running away without actually having to? What you are looking for is big changes or getting out of the rut, right? Can you change your work hours? Take up a new hobby or exercise routine? Or tell the people you regularly see that you want to do really different things? Like take a drive to the coast (gulf coast I'm assuming). Or check into spas. Or drive up to Sedona? How far is that? Book a hot air balloon ride? Or just make a trip plan - like to Africa.

Those all sound like great options, only I've been having trouble keeping my boundaries. I know I need to just hold to them, but I feel like it's hard for me to make a change when I am so close to the things that encourage me to slip back into old habits.

I liken it to a person who is trying to quit smoking hanging out at bars or cigar shops. Yeah, if you are really determined and strong you can do it, but I don't feel that I am right now.

I still like your ideas though and I will certainly try them out.

I truly thank you for your input and I will be sure to keep it in mind.

[Dan.Linehan]

I live in probably the nicest area in the United States, smack in the middle of Marin county. We could definitely help you get setup out here if you want.

Point Reyes
Marin County, California
San Rafael, California

The cost of living is somewhat high, but there are plenty of jobs that totally make up for it. A high cost of living is a good thing, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. It means that the jobs pay more, and there are more of them with less competition. I was worried about the cost of living when I moved here, but I really shouldn't have been.

We are 20 minutes north of the Golden Gate bridge. The weather is a high of 55 during the winter and high of 80 in the summer. Never really any freezing weather. Our electric bill at home is $35 / month. The community college here is $30 / credit hour, and state schools are very inexpensive too, around $5k a year to go to Berkeley, 20 minutes away.

All the best bands love playing here, if you like music. We're 10-15 minutes from the ocean, and we have some of the best coastal hiking in the world. Marin is the #1 organic farming community in the world. Even the kids eat organic lunches here: Marin Organic - Organic School Lunch

The people are just better here too. Nicer. Healthier, most positive and upbeat. It's a friendly community.

There is a lot more. I don't have time to write it all. It's pretty awesome, if you are looking for a really positive place to enjoy life and discover yourself, I couldn't recommend Marin county more.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Thanks, Dan! I will definitely take that into consideration. Added bonus, getting to hang out with Dan (until you get sick of me).

I've been to San Francisco, San Leandro and Berkeley before and I did really like the feel there. I think I was only there for about a week visiting a friend, but it was nice!

[Rose of Cairo]

How about France? France is a wonderful country!

But seriously, how about going au pair for a while? You'd live with a family in another country, learn the language, take care of the kids, and after one year you go back. This wouldn't be really running away - just taking a break.

Do you really want to start a new life somewhere else, or do you essentially need a break?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

How about France? France is a wonderful country!

But seriously, how about going au pair for a while? You'd live with a family in another country, learn the language, take care of the kids, and after one year you go back. This wouldn't be really running away - just taking a break.

Do you really want to start a new life somewhere else, or do you essentially need a break?

That might be fun. I do like kids a lot. And Rose, I love Rose.

To your question, I probably really just need a break at the moment to interrupt the pattern I've got going. I do like where I live. I love Texas (most native Texans are pretty "patriotic" ). So, I am not necessarily planning on staying wherever I go for the long term, but it is a possibility. Maybe I will just take a couple of years to travel to different places doing "odd jobs" to stay alive and see what I come up with.

[Dan.Linehan]

ATC - have you gotten a reading from Erin about all this?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

No, and I have actually thought about it. I guess that's my "sign." Thanks for reminding me.

Does anyone know if Erin does readings on weekends? *Heads to the site to check for an answer*

[Erki]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Surely not you, Erki!

But I'm still being defined by my gender (and my age). But ok, I have written enough about this on other threads and this is not the right thread for this thing anyway.

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I think it may be hard to find a place to live in Hawaii simply because space is limited. I do think I could live very happily sleeping on the beach, however I really don't like fish all that much .

When there's will there's a way? Or how was that saying? I don't know much about Hawaii except that it's exotic as hell... Perhaps there are still some forests around there? Be a hunter-gatherer-fisherwoman for a while??

Last year I was considering going to Madeira - closer than NZ and in Europe, thus there should be less bureaucratic stuff. Madeira is even littler than Hawaii... but some day I'll try living there too. NZ is still distant first on my shortlist.

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I hear it's beautiful there.

Aye. Always wanted to go there. Even the shape of New Zealand looks really beautiful... And I was heavily into maps and geography when I was a little kid...

I wouldn't say that I'm running away. Not sure about taking a break either, though. Just exploring.

[KevinJohn]

Hi,

I've moved around quite a bit and provided you're going to somewhere that's westernised, you can do it if you really want to. I was born and grew up in England but since then I've spent time in Belgium, Ireland, US and Scotland and I'm now contemplating a move to Canada. I would recommend any of the places I've lived in. You might find Ireland an interesting place as the culture there is very supportive.

I've always had a job organised before I've moved but even if you don't you'll be able to find jobs, accomodation, get bank accounts etc. It may take time and a LOT of effort (this can vary depending on the horrors of the local bureaucracy) and some money until you get an income organised, but it's all possible. In general the places you move to are what you make of them - if you're the kind of person who can get along with different people you'll have a great time.

Your credit rating may be helpful as I believe that kind of stuff is globalised these days and your post gives me the impression that you're a good citizen and that should help you in your dealings with the people you'll meet.

My question is: will moving really enable you to get away from the things that are keeping you in a rut? Are they really external circumstances or are they something you're carrying around in your mind? Is it the way you are responding to the circumstances around you, could you change this by doing something different as Wolfgang suggested? You might want to think about those questions before you start putting time and energy into a drastic action like moving somewhere completely different.

That may sound wrong coming from someone who's moved around a lot. My response is that my reason for moving has always been to try something new rather than get away from something I don't want. If you're motivation is to try something new or grow as a person then moving could be a good decision.

[sheffy4]

If you like kids and the outdoors, maybe you could be a camp counselor in the summer time. They provide room/board so you don't have to pay rent or buy groceries. The pay usually is pretty low, but I've heard it's really fun, and I've always wanted to do it.
There are camps all over the country, so you could pick where you want to live, then go back to your home after summer (if you wanted to). Good luck!

[Michelle]

Switzerland has one of the best public transport systems in the world. Everyone has the health care they need. There are enough jobs for everyone. It is beautiful and most people are relatively conscious. Eckhart Tolle even wrote about Switzerland in "A New Earth" as having a small pain body. They have four national languages and many people speak English well, too. To me, it is a paradise on earth - but there are others who might disagree.

Also good is its central location in Europe. Two hours by train puts you easily in France, Germany, Italy, Austria, Lichtenstein and more!