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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,061
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I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex --Jack Handey Does anyone else know any Personal Development related humourous quotes? |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 75
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"When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, ummmm, boy!" another 'deep thought'! sorta reminds me of loa - it might be a trick, but if it's not, 'ummm, boy!' |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Gainford, England
Posts: 375
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"Usually the good Lord works in mysterious ways. But not today! This here is 66 tons of straight-up, H.E-spewing dee-vine intervention! If God is love, then you can call me Cupid!" - Sgt A Johnson You know he's your real dad |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 48
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My reality check bounced. - Scott Adams, Dilbert In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move -Douglas Adams I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia. -- Woody Allen |
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Why is Kansas windy? Because MISSOURI sucks
Posts: 138
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My personal motto: Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. -Mark Twain For the Zen among us, a koan: A monk sat in the forest with his three students. He took out his fan and placed it in front of him, saying, "Without calling it a fan, tell me what this is." The first said, "You couldn't call it a slop-bucket." The master poked him with his stick. The second and third students were actually rocks that the master had mistaken for students, because it was getting very dark. Suddenly, the master and his pupil felt alone and afraid. In the distance, a wolf howled. -Adam Hindman |
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| | #14 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Sheffield, United Kingdom
Posts: 202
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If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Homer Simpson |
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| | #15 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 75
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whoaa....let me think on this...or better yet ... maybe not... excuse me while i try to heal the internal hemorrage... | |
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| | #16 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Victoria, BC, Canada
Posts: 194
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"When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering." - Catch-22 I love that book so much. |
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| | #18 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,061
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Jack Handey has an almost identical one: "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes." He's got quite a few... "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. " "I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway. " "Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind. " And I'll leave it for now with one for the subjective realists out there "It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. " |
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| | #19 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Des Moines, IA, USA
Posts: 239
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I had to run the fortune command a few times before I found a good one: Quote:
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| | #21 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bournemouth, UK
Posts: 6
| Quote:
Now I know different. It does grow on trees, you just have to nurture that tree from a seed until it grows strong enough to pay the dividends. Metaphorically speaking. I'm still not sure my dad gets this though. | |
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