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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
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I have devised a quiz that is designed to give your fellow forumites a better understanding of who you really are. I mean...who ARE you? It really would be interesting to see what answers you give and I will endeavour to produce a psychological profile based on your responses. Please provide a seasoning...er...a reasoning for your answers. 1. What is your date of birth to the nearest hundred weight? 2. What is your most interesting skin blemish? 3. Which Hollywood star would you most like to eat? 4. What percenatge of the population of Nigeria wear glasses? 5. What is the point of the septum? 6. Which came first: York in England or New York in the United States? 7. What colour underpants am I wearing and why? 8. Have you any idea where South Korea is? (Please describe) 9. How thick is your favourite book? 10. How much time did you waste on this pointless quiz?
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 674
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1) 1977 2) a scar from my temple, just behind my hairline to my ear on the other side 3) faruza balk, i like her accent and attitude 4) 37.6 (there is a 37% margin of error) 5) If there was no septum, when you blow your nose you couldn't block off half of it to increase the air velocity through the open nostril to expel excess stuff. very important. 6) york AD 71 7) You aren't you are wearing a beige body suit because secretly you are bodysuit man that the character in seinfeld was loosely based on 8) west of the most southeast point of north korea 9) only slightly thicker than I am 10) does that include the time spent between questions searching the web for downloadable pdf files containing plans to conquer the world? |
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| | #3 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
Silky, good to find someone of a like-mind on here! From your answers you are clearly 30 years old this year. You have been in a fight with axe wielding barber, know more about Hollywood than I do and have taken the time to guess a figure for a question I do not know the answer to. You are very informed on nasal passage dynamics, have cheated and Googled the answer for question 6 and have clearly been spying on me. You are also sarcastic in a geographical sense and unclear on the density of your intelligence, body or library collection. In conclusion you are obviously a power-mad meglomaniac who clearly wants world domination as long as it doesn't mean getting up too early in the morning.
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell Last edited by Tuumble; 06-24-2007 at 01:33 AM. | |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 265
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Okay, Here goes..... 1 - Gas mark 7 2 - My Uncle Raymond 3 - Julia's Robert 4 - 100% of the people who have glasses.....ha!!! 5 - Can I phone a friend? 6 - Neither....there was another town before them 7 - You are wearing clingfilm underpants, because we can clearly see your nuts!! 8 - No...No really I don't!! 9 - It's really stupid 10 - You are confusing me with someone who cares. Phew....that was hardwork G |
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| | #5 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
Friends cannot help you now - you are on your own. Not only are you a smart Alec but you are also a clever Dick. While your suggestion regarding cling film was understandable I can now reveal that I am in fact a woman. Geographically speaking you are honest but a little lazy not to at least have had a look in an atlas (it's on right somewhere) and you are disparaging to the world of literature and to people who care lots. Gordon - you are from Scotland. What's more to be said?
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #6 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 265
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G | |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 3,635
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1. What is your date of birth to the nearest hundred weight? You're trying to confuse the obtuse American with incomprehensible English slang...80? 2. What is your most interesting skin blemish? A really thick scar on my knee from landing on a rock after doing a backflip...it would look a lot better, but we were going to a concert that night and therefore decided to forgo stitches. 3. Which Hollywood star would you most like to eat? Joaquin Phoenix...he's yummy and vegan. 4. What percenatge of the population of Nigeria wear glasses? Sadly many of them can afford neither exams nor glasses...what an insensitive question! 5. What is the point of the septum? We would look funny with one big nostril. 6. Which came first: York in England or New York in the United States? I'm gonna say York. If not that's really weird. 7. What colour underpants am I wearing and why? Green...because you're fresh. 8. Have you any idea where South Korea is? (Please describe) Under North Korea (they don't teach Geography in the US either). 9. How thick is your favourite book? About 1.5 inches. 10. How much time did you waste on this pointless quiz? Not any more than necessary. What say you?
__________________ I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies. This is the dawning of the rest of our lives. --Green Day The more I see, the less I know, the more I'd like to let it go. --Red Hot Chili Peppers |
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| | #8 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 674
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Senior Member | Whew! I can't think of that many different seasonings... 1. What is your date of birth to the nearest hundred weight? Weight and time are incommensurable quantities. 2. What is your most interesting skin blemish? My skin is perfect. 3. Which Hollywood star would you most like to eat? Jeremy Sumpter. (Peter Pan. 4. What percenatge of the population of Nigeria wear glasses? A number theorist would say, "100%, but infinitely many of them don't." 5. What is the point of the septum? Uh... it... next question. 6. Which came first: York in England or New York in the United States? Neither of them came first. We all lived in the ocean first. 7. What colour underpants am I wearing and why? Purple... because I like purple... so that's what your underpants are. 8. Have you any idea where South Korea is? (Please describe) In some parts of the world, it's below North Korea, and in other parts, it's just above it. 9. How thick is your favourite book? It's one FBU (Favorite Book Unit) thick. 10. How much time did you waste on this pointless quiz? It was all worth it. I will gain inestimable value from getting this psychological profile... |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 165
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1. er... I'm confused already. Does that mean I'm stupid? 2. Scar on the left side of my face. Youth. Bike. Nail. Ouch. 3. I'm not into showbiz. or cannibalism ? 4. 0.5%? 5. 'the' - ??? . we have multiple septum, the main one being dividing the oxygenated and deoxygenated blood in the atria of your heart, i don't think you'd last long without one 6. York in the U.K ... idiots 7. Poker dot...so mixed. 8. Its hard to describe because all the other countries around it are still like 'where the f*** to you lot' 9. depends what version...the bible comes in many different shapes and sizes 10. Less time than you did thinking up the questions. Last edited by Jugga J; 06-24-2007 at 10:21 AM. |
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| | #11 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
You are under the illusion that you are perfect with no discernible flaws. This either makes deluded or a mannequin. You use statistical data to form conclusions to avoid revealing you don't know the real answer and believe we all once lived in a semi-detached coral reef in the outskirts of Las Vegas. Jeremy Sumpter is a good choice if you have canibalistic urges but remember not to overcook and to use an appropriate garnish. Your answers also reveal that you clearly have dictatorial tendancies the like never before seen. Demands on choice of undergarments will not be tolerated. You are perceptive enough to understand there is no top or bottom of the Earth as we live on a rotating sphere but it also makes you annoyingly intelligent even if you don't know what a septum is. You are an innovator that invents units of measurement to suit your own needs but are clearly gullible if you felt that this profiling exercise had any benefit whatsoever.
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #12 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
Despite a really unattractive and lumpy knee with unwieldly scar tissue from inappropriate behaviour in the name of acrobatics, you are still prepared to eat people. This all the more disturbing as Joaquin Phoenix is a vegan. You have the gall to make your profiler to feel guilt at his insensitivity but have the ability to paint the unpleasant imagery of a nose with a single airway passage. To then laugh at this makes you insensitive too. You do not fall for geographical trick questions and use imperial measurements to measure book density which means you are really old. I am alarmed by your answer to question 7 and relieved to that of question 10.
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #13 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
You have the impressive ability to make people feel squeamish with one word sentences and have taken questions 3 and 4 too seriously. You are highly educated in medical issues, like to use words that score highly in scrabble but are unable to read my mind as I was referring to the nose only. It is unclear whether you think the UK are idiots or whether the question was from the realms of idiocy. I wear poker dot underwear on Sunday's only so you got lucky with that one and your uninterested stance on the location of South Korea does you credit. Your favourite book tells us that tome thickness is no basis for devine spirituality. Everyone's a winner! Thinking up the questions isn't the problem it's the profiling that's the problem! This facility will remain open for the rest of the day only.
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #15 (permalink) |
| Senior Member |
1. What is your date of birth to the nearest hundred weight? Aldebaran 2. What is your most interesting skin blemish? The patch of transparent skin between the base of my little toe and the uppermost point of my scalp. 3. Which Hollywood star would you most like to eat? I'm allergic to Hollywood stars. 4. What percenatge of the population of Nigeria wear glasses? You spelt percentage wrong. Are you Nigerian? If so, the percentage should be whatever it is plus whatever your addition would adjust it to. 5. What is the point of the septum? The pointy bit at the end, obviously. 6. Which came first: York in England or New York in the United States? Probably York. New York is full of porn stars who know how to make it last. York is far more prudish and therefore inexperienced. 7. What colour underpants am I wearing and why? You're not wearing any, and I assume it's because you like the feel of your inside-out velure pants. Which are purple. 8. Have you any idea where South Korea is? (Please describe) *points* My arm is straight with my index finger extended and the other fingers curled in towards my palm. 9. How thick is your favourite book? 76mm 10. How much time did you waste on this pointless quiz? This is a leading question which assumes that a) time can be wasted and b) this quiz is pointless. Since I don't agree with those assumptions I can't answer the question with the same degree of sincerity given to each of the others.
__________________ Take a stroll down The Winding Path and let me know what you think of the scenery. |
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| | #16 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 60
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1. 81? 2. A burn on my leg from a motor cycle - yah I was a wild child (not). 3. None they are all skin and bones but I'm not planning on eating anyone in general. 4. 25%. 5. You need septum to clean your septic tank. 6. York in England. 7. White cause they make you feel cleaner. 8. It's close to North Korea 9. Thick enough to trow at some ones head and make them fall down. 10. 1 minute or so. |
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| | #17 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
Mark, you live very much inside a bubble of solitude of your own making. Whether your mind is playing tricks on you or you are wrapped in cling film is another matter. Any allergy is unfortunate ailment in almost every situation but it appears in your case to be a positive boon! Coming out in a rash only when munching on an A list celeb is never likely to cause you too many problems unless you feel a little Gregory Peckish during the night. To mock the typographically afflicted does you no credit at all let alone when directed at the inhabitants of a third world nation. In addition I couldn't subtract a division of argument in your multiplication formulae. In medical issues you are sadly lacking. If you can see a pointy bit to the septum, one of us has either got very good or very bad eyesight. Either that or you have a very odd nose. Your views on the chronilogical development of all things York has produced one of the most interesting arguments I've ever come across. It certainly needs more research before I call out the men in white coats. It is of course now Tuesday so are very perceptive to realise that always use this day to run around completely naked under my clothes. Velure on skin is surely one of the purest joys in life whatever the colour. In South Korean geography you scored highly. If you are pointing at the floor you surely know you are in Soeul and if you are pointing in a hall of mirrors you are covering eventuality. Good work! At last! Somebody took the time to measure their book, a sure sign of someone who has more time than they need. You are under the illusion that time cannot be wasted and that there is a point to all this. Clearly you have no sense of reality.
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #18 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
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The profile for Epiphany will be the last for this test after I suffered a bought of gobbledegook overload. This will be posted this evening after I've been and had a lie down. As I said in post 13 I was closing this service but I've had two since but hey, what's two more between friends...as long as I don't get another two...and then another two...
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell Last edited by Tuumble; 06-26-2007 at 02:54 PM. |
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| | #19 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
Your injury of a burn on your leg from a motor cycle presents a whole series of new questions. As a child you shouldn't have been anywhere near a motorbike - shame on you! However, it is refreshing - certainly as far as this profiling exercise goes - not to have to consider the merits and disadvantages of eating people. Humans whatever their celebritydaq rating should not be consumed and your reluctance to scoff their bone marrow does you credit. Your answer of 25% regarding the optics question is indeed a percentage, yes. Whether it is spot on or wildly inaccurate I couldn't possibly tell you. If you perchance should find out please send me a postcard on your telephone number to this address: PO Box 911 Great Ashbourne-over-Middlewich Birminghamford Londonshire I would say that cleaning a septic tank with your nose is just asking for trouble. Don't do it OK? It's just not worth it. Your belief that I am wearing white underwear is unfounded though your reasoning is worth careful consideration. I will bear that in mind when dressing in the morning to avoid embarrassment should I be run over by a bus. In geography and history you excel! York did come first and South Korea is next to North Korea. Mind you, as the answers were stating the bleedin' obvious, don't get too carried away. Trowing anything should be avoided. Books are traditionally used to display the written word and pictorial images - they are not weaponry and I urge you not to think otherwise. One minute or so for the quiz? Whew! You were lucky!
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #20 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member | Quote:
The voices in my head tell me not to listen to your lies about self-constructed solitude. I'm vainly struggling to ignore that Gregory Peckish comment... So the question is, are A list celebs any better to munch on than Class A drugs? And what happens if you combine the two (as I'm sure many celebs have!) You're right to criticise my medical knowledge. The cartilage of the septum, which I considered the pointy bit, connects to the greater alar cartilages, thereby softening the potential pointy bit. But in that case you question was a trick question, there *is no point* I'm sure both the inhabitants of York and New York would be more than willing to help out with such important research. I'm willing to offer my time as well. I'm sorry but I've mislead you again. I didn't actually measure my book. Well, not in reality anyway, unless you consider an image in my mind to be reality (though reading some suggestions regarding subjective reality, I'd be wrong to assume that you *don't* consider that a possibility). So I would say I do have a sense of reality; just not of the same reality everyone else senses.
__________________ Take a stroll down The Winding Path and let me know what you think of the scenery. | |
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| | #21 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 789
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1. What is your date of birth to the nearest hundred weight? 100 2. What is your most interesting skin blemish? A scar from a cut on my left wrist. 3. Which Hollywood star would you most like to eat? Sorry, I don't know any Hollywood stars. Really. 4. What percenatge of the population of Nigeria wear glasses? 2% 5. What is the point of the septum? What's a septum? 6. Which came first: York in England or New York in the United States? York 7. What colour underpants am I wearing and why? Depends on from which side to look. 8. Have you any idea where South Korea is? (Please describe) I have a very good idea where SK is. you know where's North Korea? Japan? Kamchatka? Bering Sea? Look around there and you'll find it soon. 9. How thick is your favourite book? I really don't have a favourite book. 10. How much time did you waste on this pointless quiz? I enjoyed wasting it and since I'll get my very personalised psychological profile, my time most certainly didn't go to waste. |
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| | #23 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 278
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1: 200kg 2: Uuh, some 'hole' near my right eye 3: Britney Spears. Yuck, I don't like her 4: There is no population in Nigeria 5: Just for looks, really 6: I did 7: Brown, cause you just ************ your pants laughing at my answers? 8: Yeah, I do. South of North Korea. North of the South Pole. 9: I don't have a favourite book, I <3 'em all (if they're english, I hate my mother language 10: 5 time-units |
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| | #24 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
Just reiterate that these will be the absolute final two. There is only so much you can write about the septum. Anyway, here's the profile... As question 1 was unanswerable you picked a number about as accurate as you could get. Top marks! A scar from a cut on my left wrist? Hmmm, I certainly wouldn't wish you'd had an accident but that would certainly be preferrable to imagery of self-harm which that injury presents. You claim to not know any Hollywood stars which means you live in area untouched by civilisation. What's it like on Jupiter? You are honest and freely admitted you do not know what a septum is. However, your certainity over your answer to the Nigerian optrics question indicates that that answer was nothing more than a wild stab in the dark. Your claim that York came first in unfounded. In a gazetteer you will find New York far earlier in the index. The last time I looked my underpants were the same colour both sides so while your answer was understandable it was also rather disturbing to consider the ramifications of it. You are an experienced traveller and know the geography of the East very well...either that or you own an excellent atlas. It is shame therefore you don't know how to use the index as your answer to question six indicates. Not having a favourite book is like having a favourite paving slab. Unusual. Try reading more - you might enjoy it. Wasting time in the name of receiving this free psychological profile makes you someone who will do anything for a freebie. Bit like me really - well done!
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #25 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
| Quote:
You have a hole near your eye? Are referring to your mouth here? This is not unusually and pretty much everyone has one of those. Britney Spears? Good answer! Rock on my friend! Your belief that Nigeria is 'empty' should've made it easier to predict a percentage for those wearing glasses. However, as you didn't give an answer you score zero points. Your view that a septum is for nasal aesthetics is not unreasonable but not medically definitive. Therefore I will give you 3298.5 points for effort. It is my belief that you think you are a contemporary of the son of God if you are older than the city of York. Where do you buy all those candles for your birthday cake? My underwear is whiter than white. This is a serious profiling exercise and you dragging it in to the dirt - as well as my undergarments - is a very serious offence. In your Korean positioning test you scored satisfactorily even if you were a little vague in a global sense. Five time-units to complete the test? Are you from Jupiter too?
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell | |
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| | #26 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Peterborough, UK
Posts: 501
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I have completed the final two profiles (see above) THE PROFILING FACILITY HAS NOW ENDED!
__________________ http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com - my Communications and Marketing blog. Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell |
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| | #27 (permalink) | ||||
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 789
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