Like a bit of fantasy or story-telling?

[Moriarty]

How's your story-writing skills folks? Put them to the test here and have a little fun in creating a fairy-tale/fantasy story.

The idea is to stick to the theme of the story so it has a consistant flow.
Take the time to read the last few posts and then chime in to add a few lines of your own....

You never know, it may even become a best sellor with royalties for all its authors

Here goes....

[Moriarty]

The night air seemed heavy and feverish, its icy tanticles making me shiver with anticipation. Somehow it wasn't a worthy anticipation, but one of fear and loathing lingering out there in the dark, un-inviting woods.

I peered through the misty windows...straining my eyes to catch any movement about. An un-nerving feeling washed over me for realising that nothing stirred...no sounds, no gentle breezes...nothing!

[nothuman]

Within me...strange murmerings were felt. I sensed a need to rise from my bed and to join the darkness outside. As I rose I adjusted my tutu and boldly climbed out of the window.....down the trellis and finally feeling the cold earth beneath my feet.
My eyes grew accustomed to the blackness and I made my way towards the dark forest....

[Moriarty]

I realised the tutu may not have been the best choice for the wet and chilly night air, but too late to turn back now. With my trusty ugly shoes snug on my feet, I began moving slow step by slow step towards the thick woods. An owl hooting pierced the dense quiet and I lept out of my uglies, landing in a muddy puddle....darn! blurrrh!

[nothuman]

Oh crap!!!!! But the pull of invisible hands was upon me. I found a nearby burning torch and decided to take it along to light my way.
I also found some rubber boots with the tags still on then which I gladly put on my cold wet feet. A James Bond DVD as well ...I decided to leave that where it lay.....but the large brass key I thought may come it handy also a hot pizza which I ate with glee.....wow this place has got everything I thought. I burped and went on my way.....

[Moriarty]

Although a bit creeped out at all this convenient stuff lying about and the invisible helping hands, I shook my head till it cleared and stepped forward in my new but cumbersome rubber boots.

Hey, wait!...ssshhh..stand still...was that movement i just saw ahead? Maybe just my eyes playing tricks on me. Ouch! this rotten tutu is scratchy. I wish I had have....PoOF!....as the thought left my brain, there appeared on the ground before me a suitable outfit. What the....! Now I'm getting creeped. No time to waste. I quickly exchanged outfits and moved on.

[nothuman]

Yes the new outfit was really practical. It came with a utility belt full of neat stuff like rope and fluffy handcuffs and xray specs......it also had a cape and a hood with a bat on the chest. Yeehaw.
The burning torch lit my way as I gingerly made my way through the clearing...deeper and deeper into the dark belly of the forest.
I reached into the utility belt and pulled out an ipod.......fired in up and listened to early Pink Floyd. That creeped me out even more.......I set it to shuffle and got Megadeath....sweet......

[Moriarty]

Somehow I've found myself in some kind of modern fantasy world. Struggling to get back to basics because it was all a bit much for me, I realised this must be some sort of time-warp I've accidently entered. I don't really recognise some of this equipment, yet I seem to be able to use it...weird!

The night was getting chillier. Another movement ...whipping my torch skyward, I could only catch a swift shadow as it passed behind the trees. Eeewww...I threw my cape over my head instinctually, suddenly realising this was no ordinary, run-of-the-mill cape, but an invisible one. Ripper Rita!

Digging blindly into my belt, I found a modern match and flicked it. Enough soft light to see by under this cape. Hmmm..maybe I'll just stay here for a while?

[nothuman]

Oh oh ..... underneath my cape of invisibility I then realized that the recently devoured pizza was making an encore in the form of fluffy off his chain. Eek.....yet strangly intoxicating. I waited for the anchovies to finish their second coming and felt once again in the belt. This time I found some dental floss and decided upon some toothy maintenance.
Footsteps sounded in the distance....I froze with fear , comforted by the fact I could not be seen......then a loud voice.
'HEY SKIPPY!!!!!!!!!! YEAH YOU UNDER THE CAPE ....STATE YOUR BUSINESS HERE!!!!!"

[Moriarty]

I froze mid-air with dental floss hanging loosely from my pegs. My brain goes into freeze-mode and then to jello mush. Shaking in my rubber boots, I'm thinking "...........!" (substitute your own wording). Who the heck's Skippy anyhow? My only thought was to reach into my trusty belt....there's gotta be something....

Next thing my cape was flung off of me and there before my terrorised eyes stood.........

[nothuman]

....a garden fairy.
Ooooooh sowwy I scared you lil one. I had to use my big scawy voice just in case it was a bad guy. But you seem weely nice....my name is Fluer and I tend to all the forest flowers. What are you doing here on such a dark and scawy night.
Suddenly a rustle came from behind us and Fluer turned......"OK MOTHER♥♥♥♥ER WHO GOES THERE"......a frightened little bunny scurried away........."oops sowwy" Fluer said......

[Moriarty]

I quickly remove the dental floss from my frozen face and hide it embarrassingly behind my back. I...ummmm....ahhh..**

Stop stammering, speak out...Fluer said in a booming voice. All the while I'm thinking, this little guy is like Jekyll and Hyde...come to think of it, who is that anyway? It just popped in my head.

I'm starting to expect anything now. Hiya Fluer..emm..its nice to meet you. It's a long story, how much time do you have? I don't really know where I am, what's going on, or how I got here. Oh, I get it! Is this Alice down the Rabbit Hole? Please tell me your not going to grow sharp fangs and eat me or something?

My hands quiver and involuntarily dropped the dental floss from my fingers. I heard a small swishing sound behind me and turned just in time to see the floss morph into a white slithering worm and disappear into the wet earth.

[nothuman]

This truly was a strange and surreal world. Fluer looked me straight in the eyes with her steady but dewy stare, then smiled. " Why don't you beat it now homie...you are starting to bore me" she said.
Not knowing how to react to this erratic fairy I strode past her mubbling my goodbyes. As I caught a quick glance behind me I swear I saw her flip the bird at me.
I continued on the path.......I reached into the belt and pulled out a cigarette. I hadn't smoked for years but thought it a good thing to settle my frayed nerves. Oh oh ....this is no ordinary cigarette I thought after a few drags.......bloody hell what next......whacky weed.....spare me.
Just then a giant spider...........

[Moriarty]

with huge fluo green glowing eyes (not just two of them but 40..all over its head) dropped down dead ahead of me. argghhh! OMG! The lit cigarette dropped from my open lips, falling silently into the puddle below.

First instinct!...RUN! Second instinct..RUN FAST! Being a person that always follows my instincts, I turned and RAN...FASSSSST! Blindly stumbling down the path stretching nowhere before me...puffff...I...pant...tripped over something sticking out of the ground and kasplat! face plant into the mud floor. "Oh God", I groaned, "get me outta here pleassse." Instantly the very object causing my fall transformed into a...........

[nothuman]

a big transformy obscure thingy made of bubble wrap......."hey....my name is Daryll..quick step into my bubble wrap embrace and I will transport you to a safer environment" Holy crap I thought can this get any stranger. I quickly gauged my options and with the mother of all Aracs coming straight at me I thought I'd chance it with Daryll.....I lept into bubble wrap boy to the sound of "pop pop pop".
I fell downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnn...deeper into Daryll and saw my own life pass before my eyes. It wasn't pretty particually the Gothic period........deeper and deeper I fell.......I heard Abba music as I fell..........♥♥♥♥ I hate Abba Ithought..................finally I......

[Moriarty]

hit bottom with a pop! pop! cushiony belly flop. Right...enough is ENOUGH!

I've had this place with its whacky morphs, instant props, creepy flower fairies, huge-A goggle-eyed spiders and bubble wrapped weirdos...I'm outta here! That's it! I'm done!

Ripping and dragging myself across the endless bubble wrap, I catch my foot and fall flat on my butt. Owwwah! That hurt..what's this in my back pocket? I reach in and grab hold of something hard and cold. A brass key...hmmmm...i wonder? ...walking off while rubbing my bruised butt.

Pulling out my modern match i begin searching the walls in the dark looking for something that has a keyhole. Ugh its so dark in here and has that yucky musty smell. Rubbing my eyeballs I try to focus better. Slowly rotating I..wait!..moving back 2 degrees east of the west wall..what's that! Can it be a keyhole? I step forward to investigate and as I step the floor collapses under me....sighhhhh...here I go again. Whack! pop! plop! pop..pop!

My key...where's my key?

[nothuman]

"curiouser and curiouser" ....I thought. Actually no I didn't .....what I really thought was "this is shitting me to tears". I fell and fell some more...."pop pop poppity pop" all the way down.
Just then everything seemed to slow down.......to a floating pace. I saw my key floating past me "whoosh" I grabbed it and pocketed it.
I heard that Ace of Bass song...." all that she wants is another baby oh yeah" Memo to self : Daryll has sucky taste in music.
I continued to float down and down and down until I stopped 6 inches off the ground. Then BANG I dropped.
I picked myself up and looked up shaking my clenched fist....."a pox on you Daryll" I screamed. Just then tons of cooked spaghetti rained down on me.
Picking off pasta I stumbled across the room and saw a .........

[Moriarty]

I saw a...saw a....ewww shaking off gross munged spaghetti...I saw a ..."what is that?"

contorting my already screwed up face and cocking my head sideways..its a ummm....*scratching my head and throwing my hands in the air*...I give up! pfftt...its a thingemy jig.

"Say what?!" "Who said that?" I yelled. "Me"..."over here. Under the spaghetti pile." arggh..I am NOT scrambling through that pile. If you want me, do it yourself!" With that I turned and walked away still picking off bits from my hair and clothes.

I propped suddenly, slamming into what looked like a big-mouthed pygmy giraffe. "Okay, have it your way man". Hoowah! covering my face while turning away with disgust, "Don't you ever use listerine? Your breathe is rank!!!"

"Oh pardon" bigmouth replies. burrrp! "is that better?" "Yeah thanks man, much better"...I breathed in the floral scent...sniffffff. "You wanna know what to do with that key? I can tell ya." "okayyyy" I replied with reserve. "Does it entail my having to return some favour?" ...burp! "ha ha, no man..follow me" and with that he turned and weirdly gaited away. "Wait for me, I can't see in the dark."...hmmmphh..bang..."buggar".

"Over here man" grabbing and dragging me with his hairy hoof. "There!" he yells. "Where?" I yell back. Flopping his hoof onto my head, he forces my face into the wall before me, which felt ratherrr sticky. "Right there", he repeats. "okay..okay..do you mind removing your hoof from my head so I can see?" "Oh yep, sure thing man". "Gee thanks...what's your name again?" "Didn't tell you in the first place. It's Mouth". "LOL..Figures!" i was thinking to myself.

I quickly slide the key into the hole and Snap! the door opens with a creak....

[nothuman]

I entered the noisy room. It smelled of spicy mexican food. Waiters in sombreros strolled past with orders. On stage a Mariachi trio played flamenco. Beautiful olive skinned senoritas with skin tight clothing slinked by igniting the room.
I surveyed the terrain. Not bad I thought more like normal than what I've been used to.
Starting to feel a bit peckish I thought I would make my way across and order an Enchilada and a beer.
I strolled to the servery and a dark skinned woman approached me. I opened my mouth to request my order and at that moment the woman opened her mouth and swarm of wasps flew out of it straight for me...... WTF is this fresh hell I thought. I bolted from my spot and ran toward the rear exit door when.....

[Moriarty]

the whole scene before me changed to water...water everywhere! Endless strangely shaped fountains. Dolphins flipping dwarf people on their noses. Trees crying big drops of water. Weird coloured and speckled animals with umbellas and floaties. *blink*.......I am in hell, yup!

The wasps flew right past me and changed into blinking fire-flies. Everything was so crystal and clean. I bent down to remove my muddy rubber boots, when something fell from my belt. I picked it up. "Curious...it looks like a compact flashlight."

"Turn it on and see me beauty".
"Beg your pardon? and who might you be?"
"I'm your mind transferred into these crystal petals."
"Right!" I realised at that moment nothing much rattled me anymore. In fact, I'm almost a little excited with the anticipation of what will come next.

"So, touch one of my crystal petals and become awed."
"I'm game" reaching out to touch the petal while slipping the flashlight into my deep pocket.

Like a pallette of boxed fireworks with a loose lit match, the sky lit up..whizz..poofff..bang! As the smoke cleared, there before me was......

[nothuman]

.....Robert De Niro. " Can I help you....can I ......whaddya lookin' at........you lookin' at me....well ♥♥♥♥ you"
My eyes rolled back in my head. At this stage I could care less......."the last decent movie you made was Goodfellas you wanker" I said.
De Niro looked at me motionless. Slowly his face started to crease, his upper lip rose.......and tears started flooding out of his eyes. He blubbered relentlessly and made gulping noises. The room flooded with his salty tears. The water level rose and rose. I was being elevated up and up. I grabbed a burrito on the way up and munched it. Up and up with De Niro crying like a little boutch..................until.........

[Moriarty]

we finally reached the trapdoor in the ceiling. I turned to Niro and said "You know what mate? It's each for his own around here. Your tears may have saved us both, but now I'm sopping wet and cold and really...I'm over all this crap right now. I just want to get home to my nice quiet, warm bed. I'm hungry and tired. Haven't a clue what all of this is about and"...right then the trapdoor sprung open.

I scrambled through it without giving a thought to the crying dude behind me. Just as I got both feet through the door slammed shut...."Yep! Figured that'd happen." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the flashlight, switched it on, only to find out ....of course!...it wasn't yer average torchlight. Ha ha..I should've known. Makes a mental note to self...Never think anything is ordinary round here~~

You'd never guess what the flashlight produced......

[nothuman]

......... tequilla .......the flashlight was alcoholic. I took a swig and munched on the worm. That gave me enough courage to go on.
I reached back into the belt and found my trusty matches......lit one and ventured forward......still listening to De Niro in the background mumbling " meet the parents was OK wasn't it?" " Get over it Bob " I yelled back.
Going forward I smelt a really putrid stench...kinda like human excretion except 100 times worst. I pinched my nose and stepped forward........all of a sudden SSSSPPPPPPTTTTTT!!!! The room lit up as if magically and a huge blobby poo monster appeared in front of me....
OMG you are all kinds of gross...I spat.
" you shall not pass by without the correct password " said the poo monster.
I opened my mouth and said..........

[Moriarty]

"Dang it all! What do you want from me?" Takes another swig of the flashlight. haaaaa..nice!..smack smack!

Well I'm not in this alice in wonderland for nothing so here goes...
Reaching into my trusty belt praying for miracles, I pulled out the iphone. "You'd better be talking to me or else your short life is limited." Up fires the iphone...lights, buzzing...flashing...

~~Yawn~~ how dare you wake me from sleep. Speak now or forever hold your tongue and this better be good~~

I dont know who you think you are, but you'd better be changing your attitude ...1..2...3... (I say)

~~Right,,right..your bloody-well right...Kind sir, can I be of service to you?~~

That's a big improvement. Tell me the password to move passed this steaming lump of putrid smelling log.

~~Oh that's easy! It's drop-your-drawers!~~

*smacks forehead* "why didnt i know?" Pockets phone and repeats password. Instead of the poo moving aside, it began sliding towards me.

"Think your funny, do ya iphone? Well take this!" Slams the phone into the ground, smashing it into tiny pieces. Suddenly the poo stopped and slid aside for me to pass. Without hesitating, I ran passed it. Looking back briefly I spy the pieces of the phone reforming and once complete, come tearing after me, jumping back into my pocket. That's cool, I thought to myself.

With lightening speed I kept running. I just know I'm heading into more of the same and ready myself. Flash!.... "Light, thank god." I stop panting and sit a moment to catch my breath. Whatever I sat on begins to squirm and I jump up....now what?.....

[nothuman]

"Holy crap.....its one of the seven dwarfs" ..... a vertically challenged little man rose and dusted himself off.
"Hey watch it gigantor..... people tryin' to sleep here"
I apologised to Tom Thumb and decided his was at least the first half friendly face I had seen in a whlie.
"So mighty mouse.... can you help me gey my bearings here..... I'm totally lost and all I want is to go home"
" I see " said chicken little scratching his chin " I think you need to see the Wizard" he said " the Wizard " I said " Where does the Wizard live?" I asked. Tiny Tim lost it and broke into laughter " Down the yellow brick road, Dorothy hahahaha "
I turned deep red and took a step back, readied my aim to send laughing boy into orbit.
" Chillax out, man you is intense I was just ♥♥♥♥ing with ya" said shorty.
The name is Lars Urich" he said.... "what like the drummer out of Metallica ? " I asked.
"Yeah" he said. " You know hes a bit of a tosser don't you?" I asked.
"Well he's a good drummer though" " whatev " I said. At this stage total mind numbing apathy was starting to set in...... just then .... Lars said....

[Moriarty]

"Just because I like your face and now that I'm awake and bored silly...I'm going to offer you something that most miss out on."
I said "Most? You mean I'm not the only one whose been through here?"
Little fella replies with surprise "Are you trying to be funny?"
"What?"..now its my turn to sound surprised. "Oh never mind. Lets just move onto what I was offering" he chimes in. "Im offering you a once in a lifetime chance to experience being your idol singer/musician."
I say "oh no thanks, I'm not into dress-up stage playing."
"Now don't get your knickers in a knot. Hear me out first" dwarf says. "It's no dress-up. It's the real deal. You get to be that person, sound and act like him, but still know that your you and doing what your doing. Oh and by the way, just before you pick, I'll narrow it down for you some. Males can only pick their own gender and visa-versa for females. Got it? So who you wanna be?"

"I'd be crazy to pass this up so it'll be.......".

[nothuman]

( from Moriartys perspective ).....ahh Lady Ga Ga......ohh yes please I'll be her.....sequins and all......can you read can you read can you read ma ma poker face......
With a flick of Lars' drumstick I was suddenly transformed into the Goddess herself. I surveyed his handiwork and darn near exploded with excitement.
OMG.
Suddenly this writer ran out of inspiration and then..........

[Moriarty]

"Woooup!" cried out the dwarf "You cheated! Just for that....KABOOMMMM!"


......................oh dear

eeuuuuuuuuuuu.........

[nothuman]

...I was suddenly transformed back into...ME.......well except for the nipple tassles.......I looked at the frozen midget......and decided to get out of this silly plot development. I gingerly walked through the next door.
To greet me was what appeared to be a circus...clowns running around, elephants, tigers, more midgets....... side shows the whole box and dice.
At this point nothing fails to surprise me..... I walked up to a man in a top hat to ask derictions.
"hi ...do you know the way to get out of this scene" I asked. He replied " Do do do do dorky " I picked my nose and rubbed it on him. I walked off.
"Man I am sooo over this nightmare" I thought. Just then I heard......." Hey Not Human!!!! Hey buddy......" I looked around. Crikey it was my best friend from 4th grade Tommy Sparrow. "Hey Tommy ..you old rascal...you old trouble maker...good to see ya " we danced about each other for a couple of minutes before something occurred to me.
"Hang on...if you are Tommy Sparrow ...my 4th grade best friend.....you would now be the same age as me"
Tommy looked up at me " Well ya got me there, Human.....I must be a figment of your imagination" he said. With that .....POOF he disappeared.
I hate this place.....I thought. Just then Moriarty said.............

[Moriarty]

Ribbit! Ribbit!.................................


"Stone the flamin crows, this place is insane!" ....I spun around..."Who said that? I didn't say that...but..it sounded like me." I have to sleep...sooo tired...~Yawn~ Wrapping my invisible cloak tightly round me, I curl up and shut my eyes ~yawnnnnnn~

"Wakey wakey sunshine" ...

"Wha...huh...who... " blinking blood-shot eyes "Go away, I just wanna sleep...zzzzzzzzzzz"

"Get UP! up up up up up up up up up up..."

This time I come up swinging. Next thing I know I have 100 elves sitting on me, pinning me to the ground. One came nose to nose with me and said "Now you don't want to do that buddy. We don't hurt Santa. Comprendo!"

"Let me up. I promise to behave." With that they all let me go and I stood up brushing off my outfit and my pride. "So don't tell me. I'm in Santa's Palace?" The elves all snickered at each other. "Yeah ho ho ho to you to. So where's Santa?" They all simultaneously pointed. Following their direction, there before me stood the most jolliest Santa I'd ever laid eyes on. "OMG! What now?"

Santas cheeks glowing with the hugest smile, wobbled closer to me and in a booming voice said "Come tell Santa what you'd like for Christmas."

I'm thinking 'this'll be good' and inhaled deeply "I'd like to....huh?..whats that sound....arggghhh...ringing in my ears" ...PooF!

I sat up suddenly and banged my head. As the blurriness began to fade away, I realised I was tucked up in my warm bed and the clock alarm was ringing.

"I'm HOME!! I'm HOMEEEEE! YIPPEEEEEEE".............