The Endless Poem

[nothuman]

Lets see where it goes.......



Dark of night and light of head,
I saw a goldfish in my bed,
It flipped about between the sheets,
Fish have fins but they don't have feets........

[nothuman]

As I gazed upon it flipping
I thought myself I must be tripping
A fish should not be in my bed
A fishy bed is one I dread....

[nothuman]

I know it sounds like Dr Suess
I can offer no excuse
I do not like green eggs and ham
I will not eat them Sam I am....

[royster]

And meanwhile halfway 'cross the globe
Mounds tripped out on his awesome strobe
And fluorescent posters with rockers aglow
'Twas ever thus,
'Twas ever so!

And meanwhile, on the other side
His stash of hash NotHuman did hide
For cops were planning a Midnite call
To sell him tickets for the policeman's Ball.

[nothuman]

The roysters quips hit close to home
I maybe should boycott this poem
For theres a knocking at my door
And all about the sirens roar

I flush the payload down the loo
I think that I am in the poo
Out the window I do hop
Mexico is my next stop

[nothuman]

Meanwhile under the witness protection plan
Roysters name gets changed to Fran
For all his ratting out the mob
He had to change his state and job

He now flips burgers to make a buck
And I don't know what ryhmes with buck
He shaved his legs and changed his nose
Colored his hair and wears girls clothes

[royster]

While yes: it's true: I cook your meat
for the burger stand
On Wanker Street

It's not so true of shaving legs:
I wax them
As I do my eggs

"Wax not that little patch of hair,
Nor try to flush it off with Nair!"
And as I stuff another bun
I ask the reg'lars
"How ya doin', Hon?"

Meanwhile in Pav-la-la-land
The poets post, and try their hand
At making ryhmmes, though getting stuck:
"Fornification" remotely ryhmmes with "buck".

[nothuman]

That it does my enlightened mate
And so does ♥♥♥♥ I should like to state
But I wonder about your buns
And whether Brazillian is that much fun

Your eggs are best left unfertillized
The thought of more Roysters makes me cry
Your regs they love your special sauce
And your brand of verbal intercourse

[Beingist]

If Mounds and humanless can work this stew
Perhaps that I can do it to.
It takes not much to work a rhyme,
Just patience, knowledge, and a bit of time.

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by Beingist

If Mounds and humanless can work this stew
Perhaps that I can do it to.
It takes not much to work a rhyme,
Just patience, knowledge, and a bit of time.

Come aboard my cartoon friend
Your wit and wits please do lend
Rocket science this thread is not
Cast your your beans into the pot

[Beingist]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Come aboard my cartoon friend
Your wit and wits please do lend
Rocket science this thread is not
Cast your your beans into the pot

I'll give my best, my Aussie friend,
And may a word or two do lend,
In case I come up short, you see,
For ne'er considered I a poet to be.

[royster]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Meanwhile under the witness protection plan
Roysters name gets changed to Fran
For all his ratting out the mob
He had to change his state and job

He now flips burgers to make a buck
And I don't know what ryhmes with buck
He shaved his legs and changed his nose
Colored his hair and wears girls clothes

Deciding that I'd rather be
a man and not a jump-start "she"
I had reversal surgery done
so I could resume guy Wanker fun.

Though that was changed, I liked the clothes
I also liked my pe-tite nose.

I met NotHuman on the bus,
He was attracted to this cocky cuss.
And took me home to no one's shame
tho' unwittingly "A Crying Game".

We danced a round
We drank some Quaffs
We then played "Twister" just for laughs.
Them bedrooms games became his goal
As he pitched his tent with a trousers pole.

And then I lift'd my skirt and revealed
My Sweedish surgeon's craft, now healed.
His jaw did drop,
He began to cuss...


And it left NotHuman looking thus:

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by Beingist

I'll give my best, my Aussie friend,
And may a word or two do lend,
In case I come up short, you see,
For ne'er considered I a poet to be.

Your humility doth serve you well
But this broth sure makes a funny smell
What the heck did Royster add ?
OMG is that a .......tampax pad

[royster]

Your humility doth serve you well
But this broth sure makes a funny smell

Ohhhhhhhh...

EVERYBODY lets farts.

MILLIONS and MILLIONS of farts.
From the time that a human life starts
That person begins letting farts.

There are "squeekers" and "leakers" and "quiets".
Farts HAVE been known to start riots.
Especially farts emitted by those
People on High-Fiber Diets.


And all through the ages were farts:

F. Scott Key blew them 'oer the ramparts.

And even the President is known to pass
A higher and voted di-stink-tion of gas.

And even Carl Sagan let farts.

BILLIONS and BILLIONS of farts!

The Universe was Created with gas.
So maybe we were blown out God's....


('you gonna eat those fries?)

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by royster

Deciding that I'd rather be
a man and not a jump-start "she"
So had reversal surgery done
so i could have some Wanker fun.

I met NotHuman on the bus,
He was attracted to this cocky cuss.
And took me home to no one's shame
tho' unwittingly "A Crying Game".

We danced a round
We drank some Quaffs
We then played "Twister" just for laughs.
Them bedrooms games became his goal
As he pitched his tent with a trousers pole.

And then I lift'd my skirt and revealed
My Sweedish surgeon's craft, now healed.
His jaw did drop,
He began to cuss...


And it left NotHuman looking thus:

Mixed emotions that much was true
But in hindsight my feelings grew
Let me make a modification
And thus enable rectification

I know I am a sick lil fella
But theres something neat I gotta tell ya
The doc's mistakes have left there marks
But we won't see them in the dark

[royster]

It was Adam who "let" the First Fart...

And I must say, it gave Eve a start!
It chased off the Snake, and other good things:

Like causing the Red Sea to part.

There was farting aboard the Titanic.
Captain Smith's was the one that caused panic.
Everyone traveling First Class,
Blew and eligant 'booo' out their...

you DO know it sank, don't you?

And when Caesar was plotting his reign~
It was farting affecting his brain.

There are flaws in some history parts:
He was warned "Beware the Ides Of Farts!"

[nothuman]

So if Nero farts as Rome was burning
As a result of his stomach turning
Would his methane thus ignite
And blast his ass off into flight.....

[royster]

Yes! In fact Nero did lots of farting~
A hero who was always imparting
the ways to improve man's condition.
Fascinated with bonzai's position.


And he escaped to take up horticulture.
And this secret is in his sepulture:

"I was not fiddling around
as Rome burned to the ground:
I mixed a tree with a cadaver's tush."

And now, it is said,

It was Nero who cross-bred

The Moonberry Deadfarting bush!

[royster]

When an apple fell on Newton's head
After gravity thoughts that it lead,
He ponderered, quite miffed,
why a fart can so drift
but a turd drops right down just like lead.

[nothuman]

Einstein had a similar theory
As his farts did make him teary
He said that a fart was relative
To how much scent that it did give

Scholars pondered this for years
The theory known as Einstein's tears
But it was refuted years ago
And some would say his theory blows

[royster]

There's a place where this fart information
is accessible by invitation.

And you can join in all of the quarums
on "Development For Fart People Forums"

Some people see farts as a science.
And, using a fart-gauge appliance,
try to determine if letting loud farts

is in fact

just an act

of defiance.

[nothuman]

A forum full of farting themes
From egoic fluffs to putrid dreams
Where one can truly learn and excel
In the areas of body smells

Lets let fluffy off the chain
In order for our minds to gain
An understanding of the heart
Based upon the need to fart

[Moriarty]

Defiance has many shells
Not all wind & yucky smells
Batman, Spiderman, Superman to
Had defiance as their glue
Kennedy, Clinton, Bush and all
Used defiance as their fall
Blackbeard, Ripper & Al Capone
Sold defiance as their home
Lennon, Geldof, Mercury
Blazened a trail of defiance fury
So, my friends, between you and me
Farts are nothing...as you see.

[nothuman]

Ah young frog your words are strong
But you will see before too long
That farts although intangible
Do manifest quite reasonable
Upon the air as thick as honey
And even though may not be funny
Theres groups about who formed a coven
And worship inside the big Dutch oven

[Moriarty]

That may be my little red friend
Its folly may drive you round the bend
Till gas-masks are mandatory dress
And the world is in a filthy mess
But never fear, for time will tell
Where destruction lies in this great smell.


3 words...

~~light a match~~

[royster]

Moriarty presents points that are deeper
Than the sneak of non-squeeky "seeper".

So don't be afraid to let farts...
Millions and millions of farts!

They're human combustion, at worst.


(Besides: if you don't, you might burst!)

[Moriarty]

I will remind you corks are cheap
If you do readily plug a seep
Bovine, human, pipes alike
Put your finger in the dike
Gasses build until you blow
Filling air with a gassy glow
Light a match and say a prayer
God Bless us and rid the air.

[nothuman]

Alas her words don't make amends
They cast doubt upon our own rear ends
To question farting is systematic
Of a life thats deeply tragic

One thats lost the simple fun
Of letting gas come from yer bum
So go on froggy let one rip
And join us in our scented trip

[royster]

George W. Bush was befuddled,
in a staff meeting where his staff huddled.

From Brazil da Siva had flown
to the U.S. to meet Bush alone.

While waiting, he emptied his tush
and this fart was reported to Bush.

Bush, who knew "billion" and "trillion",

asked

"Exactly, how much is 'Brazillian' ?".

[Moriarty]

Ah but Royster dude
Bush was very crude
Now Kennedy had it down pat
Upon his cushioned seat he sat
Room vibrating by loud hums
Driving purifiers to clean out bums
And so this story has two sides
Depends on where your loyalty lies.