Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

royster · 12-08-2011, 10:55 PM

You're pretty damn GULLIBLE, Myrna!

royster · 12-08-2011, 10:59 PM

yes I KNOW AND THE SUGARS' KICKIN' IN AND PEEL ME OFF THE CEILING

Wax Frog · 12-08-2011, 11:05 PM

What other store would have you?

royster · 12-08-2011, 11:39 PM

Not according to the arresting officer.

royster · 12-08-2011, 11:40 PM

Well, what's that got to do with me ?

Wax Frog · 12-09-2011, 12:09 AM

Wait til I slap you with a restraining order!

Wax Frog · 12-09-2011, 12:11 AM

Yep, nothing says pleasure like a perpetual state of dehydration.

royster · 12-09-2011, 12:47 AM

I used some and, sure enough: a little Dab came over and did me.

royster · 12-09-2011, 01:16 AM

True story. I built a tobacco store for Steve Zevon several years ago. It was a brand-new store and we had to fight the building inspectors to get it open. When it finally DID open, I put down my carpenter belt and manned the cash register until help could be hired.

Business was slow those first few days, and I spent the time making posters for the naked windows. One was a depiction of the Doonsbury charactor "Mr.Butts"...a talking cigarette...and below it the caption "You'll Love Our Butts!"

Steve had a great sense of humor and kept the sign in place. Many months...maybe a couple of years...later, I saw his weekly advertisements in the local paper. "You'll Love our butts!" was the official slogan.

One day after being away from the store for many months I stopped in to buy some cigars. I asked the cashier how Steve was doing. Her jaw dropped and she said"Not too well: he died yesterday."

This uncanny synchronicity assured I would make it to his funeral, which I did.

Best Smokes is still in business, doing what Steve had wanted it to do: providing his family with consistant income.

Sunshine sits on the newly-laid carpet, in front of the humidore I built.

These photos are of best Smokes #2, which i also assisted in building the interior of. Best Smokes - Mount Vernon, VA Patch

royster · 12-09-2011, 03:13 AM

Yes, that's why I had to swerve suddenly, hitting that telephone pole.

(true: I'm WITH Nationwide)

royster · 12-09-2011, 03:17 AM

This depicts the the villian Batman fights and explains why he continually had to go to the Clinic.

nothuman · 12-09-2011, 03:18 AM

Unintel working the keyboard......

royster · 12-09-2011, 03:21 AM

I don't see those letters anywhere in "Chevrolet".

royster · 12-09-2011, 03:24 AM

Management was lucky they didn't get any real jail time.

royster · 12-09-2011, 03:34 AM

The difference shaving makes is remarkable.

(By the way, this is my 5,000th post)

wolfgang · 12-09-2011, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

True story. I built a tobacco store for Steve Zevon several years ago. It was a brand-new store and we had to fight the building inspectors to get it open. When it finally DID open, I put down my carpenter belt and manned the cash register until help could be hired.

Business was slow those first few days, and I spent the time making posters for the naked windows. One was a depiction of the Doonsbury charactor "Mr.Butts"...a talking cigarette...and below it the caption "You'll Love Our Butts!"

Steve had a great sense of humor and kept the sign in place. Many months...maybe a couple of years...later, I saw his weekly advertisements in the local paper. "You'll Love our butts!" was the official slogan.

One day after being away from the store for many months I stopped in to buy some cigars. I asked the cashier how Steve was doing. Her jaw dropped and she said"Not too well: he died yesterday."

This uncanny synchronicity assured I would make it to his funeral, which I did.

Best Smokes is still in business, doing what Steve had wanted it to do: providing his family with consistant income.

Sunshine sits on the newly-laid carpet, in front of the humidore I built.

These photos are of best Smokes #2, which i also assisted in building the interior of. Best Smokes - Mount Vernon, VA Patch

awwww

royster · 12-09-2011, 04:06 AM

There was an Episode of "Dallas" where quite the opposite happened...dude DIED right on top of Lexus.

Wax Frog · 12-09-2011, 04:18 AM

While we can - they're going to tear down the old place to build an Applebee's!

Wax Frog · 12-09-2011, 04:21 AM

It's not like your arteries are clogged or anything...

Wax Frog · 12-09-2011, 04:23 AM

Sure, but I've got to say, the old boy was kind of crumbly.

royster · 12-09-2011, 05:29 AM

Is the Queen of beers [non-offensive gay joke] ?

royster · 12-09-2011, 05:32 AM

I don't know...I find Moose head rather painful and unsatisfying.

royster · 12-09-2011, 05:33 AM

With these gas prices, it's more like a PIG.

royster · 12-09-2011, 08:37 AM

Tag! You're "it"!

royster · 12-09-2011, 08:39 AM

Banjo music and compliments about "purdy lips" in the same sentence frighten me.

(It might be "mouth" instead of "teeth", but I'm gettin' this canoe OUTTA HERE PRONTO!)

nothuman · 12-09-2011, 08:44 AM

And then die of Asphyxiation as the air is not conducent to Earthlings......

royster · 12-09-2011, 11:14 PM

Perfect for premature ejaculation, making it the Quicker Dicker Picker Upper.

Originally Appeared in "National Lampoon" magazine...not a royster original

Apresto · 12-12-2011, 10:38 AM

so do we have to made up brands or we can use already existing, i remember one that's for prostate problems and also for problems :getting it up: and it had an advert with an airplane pilot that said at the end of it "to help you get up the plane"

royster · 12-12-2011, 08:19 PM

The threads I start are open to bending the rules, though...much like "Funny Replies To Other Boards"...why go to the store for milk when you have a cow in the front yard?

royster · 12-13-2011, 08:51 PM

Our computers can't run certain programs without the right drivers.

12-08-2011, 10:55 PM	#31 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! You're pretty damn GULLIBLE, Myrna!

12-08-2011, 10:59 PM	#32 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Sugar-Frosted Flakes: They're grrrrRRRREAT! yes I KNOW AND THE SUGARS' KICKIN' IN AND PEEL ME OFF THE CEILING

12-08-2011, 11:05 PM	#33 (permalink)
Wax Frog Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere Posts: 10,374	Sears. Where else? What other store would have you?

12-08-2011, 11:39 PM	#34 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Missourri: the "Show Me" state Not according to the arresting officer.

12-08-2011, 11:40 PM	#35 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Gentlemen Prefer Hanes Well, what's that got to do with me ?

12-09-2011, 12:09 AM	#36 (permalink)
Wax Frog Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere Posts: 10,374	Wait til we get our Hanes on you Wait til I slap you with a restraining order!

12-09-2011, 12:11 AM	#37 (permalink)
Wax Frog Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere Posts: 10,374	Dos Equis - Stay Thirsty, My Friends Yep, nothing says pleasure like a perpetual state of dehydration.

12-09-2011, 12:47 AM	#38 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Brylcreem: A Little Dab'll Do Ya I used some and, sure enough: a little Dab came over and did me.

12-09-2011, 01:16 AM	#39 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Best Smokes: You'll Love Our Butts True story. I built a tobacco store for Steve Zevon several years ago. It was a brand-new store and we had to fight the building inspectors to get it open. When it finally DID open, I put down my carpenter belt and manned the cash register until help could be hired. Business was slow those first few days, and I spent the time making posters for the naked windows. One was a depiction of the Doonsbury charactor "Mr.Butts"...a talking cigarette...and below it the caption "You'll Love Our Butts!" Steve had a great sense of humor and kept the sign in place. Many months...maybe a couple of years...later, I saw his weekly advertisements in the local paper. "You'll Love our butts!" was the official slogan. One day after being away from the store for many months I stopped in to buy some cigars. I asked the cashier how Steve was doing. Her jaw dropped and she said"Not too well: he died yesterday." This uncanny synchronicity assured I would make it to his funeral, which I did. Best Smokes is still in business, doing what Steve had wanted it to do: providing his family with consistant income. Sunshine sits on the newly-laid carpet, in front of the humidore I built. These photos are of best Smokes #2, which i also assisted in building the interior of. Best Smokes - Mount Vernon, VA Patch Last edited by royster; 12-09-2011 at 03:01 AM.

12-09-2011, 03:13 AM	#40 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Nationwide Is On Your Side [car insurance] Yes, that's why I had to swerve suddenly, hitting that telephone pole. (true: I'm WITH Nationwide)

12-09-2011, 03:17 AM	#41 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	The Clapper: Clap on! Clap Off! This depicts the the villian Batman fights and explains why he continually had to go to the Clinic.

12-09-2011, 03:18 AM	#42 (permalink)
nothuman Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 1,662	Intel Inside Unintel working the keyboard......

12-09-2011, 03:21 AM	#43 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	See the U.S.A. In A Chevrolet I don't see those letters anywhere in "Chevrolet".

12-09-2011, 03:24 AM	#44 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	WCRV-95.3 FM- Proud To Serve Our Community Management was lucky they didn't get any real jail time.

12-09-2011, 03:34 AM	#45 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Mounds: Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut / Sometimes You Don't The difference shaving makes is remarkable. (By the way, this is my 5,000th post)

12-09-2011, 04:06 AM	#47 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Timex: Takes A Licking And Keeps On Ticking There was an Episode of "Dallas" where quite the opposite happened...dude DIED right on top of Lexus.

12-09-2011, 04:18 AM	#48 (permalink)
Wax Frog Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere Posts: 10,374	Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood While we can - they're going to tear down the old place to build an Applebee's!

12-09-2011, 04:21 AM	#49 (permalink)
Wax Frog Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere Posts: 10,374	Why not eat breakfast for dinner tonight? [IHOP] It's not like your arteries are clogged or anything...

12-09-2011, 04:23 AM	#50 (permalink)
Wax Frog Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere Posts: 10,374	Have you driven a Ford lately? Sure, but I've got to say, the old boy was kind of crumbly.

12-09-2011, 05:29 AM	#51 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Budweiser: The King Of Beers Is the Queen of beers [non-offensive gay joke] ?

12-09-2011, 05:32 AM	#52 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Moosehead: Head And Antlers Above The Rest I don't know...I find Moose head rather painful and unsatisfying.

12-09-2011, 05:33 AM	#53 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Exxon: Put A Tiger In Your Tank With these gas prices, it's more like a PIG.

12-09-2011, 08:37 AM	#54 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	AT&T: Reach Out And Touch Someone Tag! You're "it"!

12-09-2011, 08:39 AM	#55 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	UltraBrite Toothpaste: Gives Your Teeth Sex Appeal Banjo music and compliments about "purdy lips" in the same sentence frighten me. (It might be "mouth" instead of "teeth", but I'm gettin' this canoe OUTTA HERE PRONTO!)

12-09-2011, 08:44 AM	#56 (permalink)
nothuman Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 1,662	Mars : Work, Rest and Play And then die of Asphyxiation as the air is not conducent to Earthlings...... Last edited by nothuman; 12-09-2011 at 08:52 AM.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

12-09-2011, 11:14 PM	#57 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Bounty Paper Towels: The Quicker Picker-Upper Perfect for premature ejaculation, making it the Quicker Dicker Picker Upper. Originally Appeared in "National Lampoon" magazine...not a royster original

12-12-2011, 10:38 AM	#58 (permalink)
Apresto Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 78	so do we have to made up brands or we can use already existing, i remember one that's for prostate problems and also for problems :getting it up: and it had an advert with an airplane pilot that said at the end of it "to help you get up the plane"

12-12-2011, 08:19 PM	#59 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	The threads I start are open to bending the rules, though...much like "Funny Replies To Other Boards"...why go to the store for milk when you have a cow in the front yard?

12-13-2011, 08:51 PM	#60 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Volkswagon: Drivers Wanted Our computers can't run certain programs without the right drivers.

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