Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 09:31 PM

COME all ye rotten apples, it is time to bathe in your own evil and share it with the world...MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

Or at least with this forum.

We're all so hellbent on being good...it's time to relish in your bad, be proud, wear it like a badge because it is part of you whether you like it or not. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

I hate SHARPIE EYEBROWS!!!!!!!!!!! They make me want to bite the nearest unsuspecting bystander. I feel horrible for this...eyebrows have nothing to do with a person's character, but I CAN'T HELP IT! ARGGGGGHHH!

I also find great pleasure in frightening my children. Yep, that's right. I love to open the door while they're playing quietly and say "RAAAAAAARRRWWWWWWWW" so that they all jump and scream then run after me with pillows, barbie dolls, choo choo trains mob style...then of course I turn around and chase them back to their rooms with more growling. Yes...it's hilarious...if you don't do this, you should try.

There is a three legged dog that lives in my neighborhood. He hobbles down the street, goes door to door for food. I laugh at him. I AM THE EVIL WOMAN who thinks it's funny to watch him run on three legs. Why feel sorry for him? He's fine... Sometimes I feel he's around for my entertainment pleasure while I drink my morning coffee.

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 09:39 PM

Oh...also, sometimes when I forget to put perfume on before I go shopping, I will use the store's sample and pretend I'm actually shopping for new perfume. I'm not really shopping...I'm just too cheap to buy a whole bottle.

Sometimes I go back for seconds for sample foods at the supermarket. And thirds. When I go to Sam's Club, I go at lunch time and eat a free meal worth of samples while I shop. They've yet to catch on. OMG...that feels so good to get off my chest.

royster · 11-30-2011, 09:44 PM

I expect desert rat to be all over this thread...he started one similar several months ago:
Fire roasted salsa and

fast food drinks

royster · 11-30-2011, 09:53 PM

Quote:

One thing I forgot , you can get a 128 oz insulated jug , hide it in the car , go to your fav. resutraant , when there not looking , go out and fill the jug . It will take a few trips to the car to fill the jug . If they ask , tell them you are quite thirsty , its is hot here . desert rat

Quote:

The other think I forgot was , grab a bunch of salsa packs , and sporks . One guy lived for a few days on salsa and catchup that he had on the dash board of his car . His car went off the road , into a valley , he was injured in the accdent and could not walk out . desert rat

Quote:

With Wendy's generous napkin display, I haven't bought paper towels since 2007!

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

I expect desert rat to be all over this thread...he started one similar several months ago:
Fire roasted salsa and

fast food drinks

Hahahahah! Awww...I had no idea! I hope he doesn't get upset. LOL.

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:30 PM

Doubtful he'll get upset. Besides, this one's a bit different.

I'm trying to think of my evil doings, but the glow of my pristine halo disallows self-incrimination.

Except that dog food incident.

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:31 PM

...and the open cookies in the store incident.

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:33 PM

...possibly the exploding condom incident.

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:34 PM

definitely the cash register incident.

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:35 PM

...but since the charges were dropped on the public urination incident, I probably shouldn't even mention that.

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 10:37 PM

@ your quotes...hehehe...classic!

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

Doubtful he'll get upset. Besides, this one's a bit different.

I'm trying to think of my evil doings, but the glow of my pristine halo disallows self-incrimination.

Except that dog food incident.

Sometimes we must dirty our halo's just for the sake of polishing them up again. I know you've got a little devil's food in your 'nilla cake, Mr., you can't fool this gal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

...and the open cookies in the store incident.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!! Yep...and the case of the half eaten bunch of grapes still on the produce stand...

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

...possibly the exploding condom incident.

I must admit, unless it was filled with chocolate pudding and clumsily slid over a gear shift...I may not be able to relate to this one.

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

I must admit, unless it was filled with chocolate pudding and clumsily slid over a gear shift...I may not be able to relate to this one.

That's exactly how it remotely sort of happened, in a very different way, unrelated to what you said.

And the other thing was: I technically wasn't urinating...it was more like an agonizing leaking of seepage, and it really wasn't in public...there were just a lot of people around.

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

definitely the cash register incident.

...just make sure you take someone in a wide sweater to block the cameras.

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

...but since the charges were dropped on the public urination incident, I probably shouldn't even mention that.

I'm not sure what the big deal is about public urination. It's not like your peeing in a cup and telling small children it's apple juice.

momo3bur · 11-30-2011, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

That's exactly how it remotely sort of happened, in a very different way, unrelated to what you said.

And the other thing was: I technically wasn't urinating...it was more like an agonizing leaking of seepage, and it really wasn't in public...there were just a lot of people around.

One of my alter egos may want more details...

royster · 11-30-2011, 10:48 PM

Oh, it was a very famous case, and in fact changed East Virginia law. My attourney used the Forrest Gump "♥♥♥♥ Happens" defense, interjecting it with Ronald Reagan's "Trickle Down" economics. Since the judge was Republican, and liked Tom Hanks, he dismissed the case as "uncollectable".

He DID ask what i intended to do about the leakage. I merely said "Depends..."

Julie Brown as Sharon Stone - Depends Ad - YouTube

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

Oh, it was a very famous case, and in fact changed East Virginia law. My attourney used the Forrest Gump "♥♥♥♥ Happens" defense, interjecting it with Ronald Reagan's "Trickle Down" economics. Since the judge was Republican, and liked Tom Hanks, he dismissed the case as "uncollectable".

He DID ask what i intended to do about the leakage. I merely said "Depends..."

Julie Brown as Sharon Stone - Depends Ad - YouTube

LOL!!! Poor ROY! I tried so hard to find the original "Oops I Crapped My Pants" SNL skit for ya...to no avail. Those greedy bastards.

royster · 12-01-2011, 01:26 AM

Oh, it wasn't crap: it was leakage from Dick's Tiffening Catapult Disease. Masking tape tends to cure it. It was because I had to use Scotch tape (which my A.A. sponsor highly disapproved of) that the boots didn't work.

By the way, this is not related to Cheney. It came from a different Dick.

royster · 12-01-2011, 01:30 AM

I compare fresh oranges to rotten apples. It doesn't seem to work, philisophically, but in a purely Baptist way, it seems to get through that hour on Sunday.

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

Oh, it wasn't crap: it was leakage from Dick's Tiffening Catapult Disease. Masking tape tends to cure it. It was because I had to use Scotch tape (which my A.A. sponsor highly disapproved of) that the boots didn't work.

By the way, this is not related to Cheney. It came from a different Dick.

LMAO!!!!!!!!

royster · 12-01-2011, 01:32 AM

Quote:

It came from a different Dick.

This sounds like the name of a movie Rosanne Barr would co-star in.

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

This sounds like the name of a movie Rosanne Barr would co-star in.

LOL! Here's another dirty little secret...Mo loves Rosanne Barr.

This movie would most definitely HAVE to be in 3D for full effect.

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 10:21 PM

Sometimes I wear mismatched socks and steal my daughter's flip flops.

Today, I scared my poor goat Snowflake half to death just so I could watch her run around bucking like a maniac. It's absolutely hilarious.

Transfats make food delicious.

royster · 12-01-2011, 10:27 PM

Confessions, ay?

Hmmm.

I'd really like to particpate with one. But I've actually been a fairly decent person for a while, and those thoughts I had about your goat wearing miss-matched socks doesn't count, because I didn't act upon the arousal it caused.

yet.

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

Confessions, ay?

Hmmm.

I'd really like to particpate with one. But I've actually been a fairly decent person for a while, and those thoughts I had about your goat wearing miss-matched socks doesn't count, because I didn't act upon the arousal it caused.

yet.

If you fancy a goat in stockings...you should see her in her Christmas sweater...RAWR! sizzle...

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

yet.

OK...I will pee my pants laughing everytime I see this. EVERYTIME.

royster · 12-01-2011, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

OK...I will pee my pants laughing everytime I see this. EVERYTIME.

I guess you could say it "really gets your goat", ay?

and so will I, in my mind!

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

I guess you could say it "really gets your goat", ay?

and so will I, in my mind!

Hehehehe...DRUMROLLLLLLLLL...

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

I guess you could say it "really gets your goat", ay?

and so will I, in my mind!

I've got to keep the peeing in my pants; I hate cleaning toilets and my mind is already dirty enough.

momo3bur · 12-02-2011, 01:16 AM

Hey Roy?

11-30-2011, 09:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
momo3bur Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,855	Rotten Apples... COME all ye rotten apples, it is time to bathe in your own evil and share it with the world...MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Or at least with this forum. We're all so hellbent on being good...it's time to relish in your bad, be proud, wear it like a badge because it is part of you whether you like it or not. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... I hate SHARPIE EYEBROWS!!!!!!!!!!! They make me want to bite the nearest unsuspecting bystander. I feel horrible for this...eyebrows have nothing to do with a person's character, but I CAN'T HELP IT! ARGGGGGHHH! I also find great pleasure in frightening my children. Yep, that's right. I love to open the door while they're playing quietly and say "RAAAAAAARRRWWWWWWWW" so that they all jump and scream then run after me with pillows, barbie dolls, choo choo trains mob style...then of course I turn around and chase them back to their rooms with more growling. Yes...it's hilarious...if you don't do this, you should try. There is a three legged dog that lives in my neighborhood. He hobbles down the street, goes door to door for food. I laugh at him. I AM THE EVIL WOMAN who thinks it's funny to watch him run on three legs. Why feel sorry for him? He's fine... Sometimes I feel he's around for my entertainment pleasure while I drink my morning coffee.

11-30-2011, 09:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	I expect desert rat to be all over this thread...he started one similar several months ago: Fire roasted salsa and fast food drinks Last edited by royster; 11-30-2011 at 09:49 PM.

11-30-2011, 10:48 PM	#16 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Oh, it was a very famous case, and in fact changed East Virginia law. My attourney used the Forrest Gump "♥♥♥♥ Happens" defense, interjecting it with Ronald Reagan's "Trickle Down" economics. Since the judge was Republican, and liked Tom Hanks, he dismissed the case as "uncollectable". He DID ask what i intended to do about the leakage. I merely said "Depends..." Julie Brown as Sharon Stone - Depends Ad - YouTube Last edited by royster; 11-30-2011 at 10:51 PM.

12-01-2011, 01:26 AM	#18 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Dtcd Oh, it wasn't crap: it was leakage from Dick's Tiffening Catapult Disease. Masking tape tends to cure it. It was because I had to use Scotch tape (which my A.A. sponsor highly disapproved of) that the boots didn't work. By the way, this is not related to Cheney. It came from a different Dick.

12-01-2011, 10:21 PM	#23 (permalink)
momo3bur Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,855	Sometimes I wear mismatched socks and steal my daughter's flip flops. Today, I scared my poor goat Snowflake half to death just so I could watch her run around bucking like a maniac. It's absolutely hilarious. Transfats make food delicious. Last edited by momo3bur; 12-02-2011 at 12:23 AM.

11-30-2011, 09:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
momo3bur Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,855	Oh...also, sometimes when I forget to put perfume on before I go shopping, I will use the store's sample and pretend I'm actually shopping for new perfume. I'm not really shopping...I'm just too cheap to buy a whole bottle. Sometimes I go back for seconds for sample foods at the supermarket. And thirds. When I go to Sam's Club, I go at lunch time and eat a free meal worth of samples while I shop. They've yet to catch on. OMG...that feels so good to get off my chest.

11-30-2011, 10:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Doubtful he'll get upset. Besides, this one's a bit different. I'm trying to think of my evil doings, but the glow of my pristine halo disallows self-incrimination. Except that dog food incident.

11-30-2011, 10:31 PM	#7 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	...and the open cookies in the store incident.

11-30-2011, 10:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	...possibly the exploding condom incident.

11-30-2011, 10:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	definitely the cash register incident.

11-30-2011, 10:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	...but since the charges were dropped on the public urination incident, I probably shouldn't even mention that.

12-01-2011, 01:30 AM	#19 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	I compare fresh oranges to rotten apples. It doesn't seem to work, philisophically, but in a purely Baptist way, it seems to get through that hour on Sunday.

12-01-2011, 10:27 PM	#24 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Confessions, ay? Hmmm. I'd really like to particpate with one. But I've actually been a fairly decent person for a while, and those thoughts I had about your goat wearing miss-matched socks doesn't count, because I didn't act upon the arousal it caused. yet.

12-02-2011, 01:16 AM	#30 (permalink)
momo3bur Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,855	Hey Roy?

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
green grapes + oranges + apples + bananas = good smoothie you reckon?	lucidbrotha	Health & Fitness	4	11-24-2011 03:08 PM
Do you wash your apples and tomatoes with soap?	Bricona	Health & Fitness	17	12-04-2010 03:00 AM
Think About Apples	Murphy	Health & Fitness	10	12-20-2008 04:54 PM
Rotten fruit - an analogy	Tuumble	Emotional Mastery	2	09-12-2008 10:30 AM
Cain, Karma, Rotten Veg and PlaypenTantrums	Cantando	Spirituality, Consciousness, & Awareness	0	03-27-2007 08:16 PM

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums