Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

nothuman · 11-29-2011, 09:18 AM

Dear Santa

This year for Christmas I want.....

1 A wood plane

2 A new Astro Boy Tee Shirt

3 The Beatles Vynil 45's Box Set

4 For the neighbours to stop sticking FOR SALE signs in my garden

Moriarty · 11-29-2011, 10:25 AM

Oh Cool!

Dear Santa..I would love...

Web feet to get me through the wet season...or flippers will do.

A personal hot male with nothing but a pair of budgie-smugglers and a huge fan to keep me cool wherever I go.

A winners Lotto

And a guarantee that nothuman wont shift next door to me when his neighbours sell his house.

ZephyrusX · 11-29-2011, 10:27 AM

Wahhhh!

I just want sweet sleep! Give me rest, Santa Claws!

Or sleeping pills!

nothuman · 11-29-2011, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moriarty

Oh Cool!

Dear Santa..I would love...

Web feet to get me through the wet season...or flippers will do.

A personal hot male with nothing but a pair of budgie-smugglers and a huge fan to keep me cool wherever I go.

A winners Lotto

And a guarantee that nothuman wont shift next door to me when his neighbours sell his house.

you are a cruel frog

Moriarty · 11-29-2011, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

you are a cruel frog

I know it! That's why ya loves me

nothuman · 11-29-2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moriarty

I know it! That's why ya loves me

I am going now...but I want you to think about your actions ...... but yeah I do loves ya ya silly little thing

Midnite · 11-29-2011, 01:19 PM

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas I hope to finally meet you. I understand that last year was a bit of an episode.. you didn't realise I had stalked out the living room in a sleeping bag, and when I grabbed your leg in the middle of the night your yelp woke up Mutsy, our family dog who is inevitably bigger than I am, and started chasing you around the house because I think you smelt like a dusty sofa and looked like a gigantic stuffed toy. You accidenlty crashed through our living room window, I don't think you realised it was shut, I also don't think you realised Mutsy could jump too and I heard you screaming all the way down our street. I still have your left boot if you would like it back?

This year it would be really nice if you could stick around for a chat, or at least a cup of tea? Mutsy would really like a bone. Mom wasn't too impressed about the window, so maybe something extra special for her too.

nothuman · 11-29-2011, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnite

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas I hope to finally meet you. I understand that last year was a bit of an episode.. you didn't realise I had stalked out the living room in a sleeping bag, and when I grabbed your leg in the middle of the night your yelp woke up Mutsy, our family dog who is inevitably bigger than I am, and started chasing you around the house because I think you smelt like a dusty sofa and looked like a gigantic stuffed toy. You accidenlty crashed through our living room window, I don't think you realised it was shut, I also don't think you realised Mutsy could jump too and I heard you screaming all the way down our street. I still have your left boot if you would like it back?

This year it would be really nice if you could stick around for a chat, or at least a cup of tea? Mutsy would really like a bone. Mom wasn't too impressed about the window, so maybe something extra special for her too.

Midnite, the world is a much better place with you in it bro..... you are on the nice list pal.

Midnite · 11-30-2011, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

Midnite, the world is a much better place with you in it bro..... you are on the nice list pal.

Thank you Santa

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:11 AM

Dear Santa,

Mostly, I would like to have you put up and take down my Christmas tree...as it is a pain in the arse.

Otherwise, EARTHA KITT - SANTA BABY 1954 - YouTube

Only a few things, you see, as I am not materialistic at all.

(Seriously...I'm not, but this is my FAVORITE Christmas song.

)

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:13 AM

Well I suppose it could be tied with this one...is it bad that my favorite version is from Elf?

Baby It's Cold Outside - Elf Soundtrack - Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone - YouTube

royster · 12-01-2011, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Dear Santa,

Mostly, I would like to have you put up and take down my Christmas tree...as it is a pain in the arse.

It's clear that you've been putting the tree in the wrong location.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Well I suppose it could be tied with this one...is it bad that my favorite version is from Elf?

Baby It's Cold Outside - Elf Soundtrack - Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone - YouTube

Not at all little one.... the fact that you like Will Ferrell movies puts you well and truly on the nice list.

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

It's clear that you've been putting the tree in the wrong location.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! In that case, I believe Santa's job just became a lot more interesting. LOL.

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

Not at all little one.... the fact that you like Will Ferrell movies puts you well and truly on the nice list.

Oh yes...OH YES...Elf has taken the place of It's a Wonderful Life in this house.

royster · 12-01-2011, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

It's clear that you've been putting the tree in the wrong location.

...although I HAVE suggested to people to place the tree there.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! In that case, I believe Santa's job just became a lot more interesting. LOL.

.... Santa is soooo pulling himself away from going there..... even though the temptation is melting his candy canes...... no be strong Santa!!! Walk away and smile

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by royster

...although I HAVE suggested to people to place the tree there.

This would explain why I smell cedar everytime I visit the ladies room...hmmm...

What happens with a pre-lit plastic tree? HAHAHHA...plug it in...instant frosting. EWWWWWW...

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

.... Santa is soooo pulling himself away from going there..... even though the temptation is melting his candy canes...... no be strong Santa!!! Walk away and smile

Don't be afraid, Mr. Claus...I even made you cookies! You can't leave me here, watching Elf all by myself...with a tree in my tuckus. Quite frankly, it's inhumane and I don't know if I like your attitude.

Plus it's really hard to get the lights on it from up here...and um...these glass ornaments can't be healthy.

Random thought: Why is everytime a subject like this is mentioned, there always seems to be an episode of South Park easily related to said malice at hand?

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Don't be afraid, Mr. Claus...I even made you cookies! You can't leave me here, watching Elf all by myself...with a tree in my tuckus. Quite frankly, it's inhumane and I don't know if I like your attitude.

Plus it's really hard to get the lights on it from up here...and um...these glass ornaments can't be healthy.

Random thought: Why is everytime a subject like this is mentioned, there always seems to be an episode of South Park easily related to said malice at hand?

OK little one.... you have melted Santa's heart like chocolate buds on the dashboard in summer.
However due to union regulations normal Santa askin' protocol must be observed. Sorry its not me.... its the rules..... now wheres that holly??

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

OK little one.... you have melted Santa's heart like chocolate buds on the dashboard in summer.
However due to union regulations normal Santa askin' protocol must be observed. Sorry its not me.... its the rules..... now wheres that holly??

Well, Santa, I'm afraid the holly may be on the tree. How might I comply to this protocol and perhaps speed the process? I would call this a situation in dire need of Santa's attention. Surely there's a loophole.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Well, Santa, I'm afraid the holly may be on the tree. How might I comply to this protocol and perhaps speed the process? I would call this a situation in dire need of Santa's attention. Surely there's a loophole.

Oh peachy we got a perky one here.... well you know the drill missy.... on the lap..... stare adoringly into Santas eyes and state your demands .... oh and did I say holly??? Fiddle di dee I meant mistletoe ...... not my rules remember....

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

Oh peachy we got a perky one here.... well you know the drill missy.... on the lap..... stare adoringly into Santas eyes and state your demands .... oh and did I say holly??? Fiddle di dee I meant mistletoe ...... not my rules remember....

Must stop here before the elves get suspicious.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Must stop here before the elves get suspicious.

scratch scratch..... cluck cluck cluck...... bicaarrrkkk!!!!????!!!!

royster · 12-01-2011, 01:40 AM

DEAR SANTA:

This business of "coming down a chimney and leaving 'presents' in order to get your 'cookies' " sounds suspiciously sexual to me. Much like SpongeBob lives in a pineapple sounds like birth control.

I'm not a fan of Freud...heck, he can circulate his own air...nor am I obsessed with pooters and patookies: it just seems obvious to me that there's all kinds of heterosexual connotations involved with your hole operation.

[spellcheck - "whole"]

WHOLE operation. Then there's the indictment that never DID end up on televisions' "Divorce Court" about "Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and I won't even go into the lizard joke here, because I respect Mommy.

I haven't figured out where the reindeers fit in with this, except "NOTHING runs like a Deere", which could be that DADDY saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, and he might blow a few warning shots into your chest next time you try that "Chimney Maneuver".

Anyway, the warden says I gotta go now. It was great getting away from Bubba for a few minutes.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 01:50 AM

Just don't drop the soap around bubba....he has been on the naughty list all his lfe.
Blah blah blah I get this Freudian crap all the time...... look at it from my POV.
I get one day a year..... one freakin day and thats it for Santa. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it I'm a man with needs as much as any. As for your inferences of beastuality ..... I gets so sick and friggin tired of Ohhh how did Rudolph get that red nose Santa?
Respect ma authority!!!!!

royster · 12-01-2011, 01:57 AM

Gee, I never saw it in that light before. I guess you really DO need some understanding. I wasn't being very thoughtful with the reindeer thing...please accept my appologies.

Yeah, Bubba is a real pain in the patookie. I hate his grunbting, all the time grunting. It's like Big Foot with the hiccups. As far as being on the naughty list...pffft: understatement of the century. He's in here for arse-on, among other offenses.

Crap, they're calling for a lock down. One of the guys started yelling some stupid stuff about...I dunnoh, his words were muffled.

Sweet dreams, Chimney Dude.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 02:04 AM

Right back at ya inmate 089977723 .....I do have rhe skinny on how to defuse bubba's err advances if the need ever arises again.
Simply look around into his watery eyes and start singing "you are the wind beneath my wings" from Beaches. He is a huge Bette Midler fan and has a heart of mush.
File in cake comin' your way sparkey....

momo3bur · 12-01-2011, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nothuman

scratch scratch..... cluck cluck cluck...... bicaarrrkkk!!!!????!!!!

Somehow I always imagined Santa with a different catch phrase...

Either way, breadcrumbs little chicken, to the gingerbread house with ya. I've got a lovely child on the roast, being the witch I am, and I might have a sprig of mistletoe up in the den if you can PALEASE remove this tree from it's hiding place.

nothuman · 12-01-2011, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Somehow I always imagined Santa with a different catch phrase...

Either way, breadcrumbs little chicken, to the gingerbread house with ya. I've got a lovely child on the roast, being the witch I am, and I might have a sprig of mistletoe up in the den if you can PALEASE remove this tree from it's hiding place.

Awww alright then Grizelda lie down.... here bite down on this here puppy toy and go to your happy place.....this is not gonna be pretty eeeekk

11-29-2011, 09:18 AM	#1 (permalink)
nothuman Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 1,662	Dear Santa Dear Santa This year for Christmas I want..... 1 A wood plane 2 A new Astro Boy Tee Shirt 3 The Beatles Vynil 45's Box Set 4 For the neighbours to stop sticking FOR SALE signs in my garden Last edited by nothuman; 11-29-2011 at 09:29 AM.

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11-29-2011, 10:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
Moriarty Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 884	Oh Cool! Dear Santa..I would love... Web feet to get me through the wet season...or flippers will do. A personal hot male with nothing but a pair of budgie-smugglers and a huge fan to keep me cool wherever I go. A winners Lotto And a guarantee that nothuman wont shift next door to me when his neighbours sell his house.

11-29-2011, 10:27 AM	#3 (permalink)
ZephyrusX Banned Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,885	Wahhhh! I just want sweet sleep! Give me rest, Santa Claws! Or sleeping pills!

11-29-2011, 01:19 PM	#7 (permalink)
Midnite Family Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 1,955	Dear Santa, This year for Christmas I hope to finally meet you. I understand that last year was a bit of an episode.. you didn't realise I had stalked out the living room in a sleeping bag, and when I grabbed your leg in the middle of the night your yelp woke up Mutsy, our family dog who is inevitably bigger than I am, and started chasing you around the house because I think you smelt like a dusty sofa and looked like a gigantic stuffed toy. You accidenlty crashed through our living room window, I don't think you realised it was shut, I also don't think you realised Mutsy could jump too and I heard you screaming all the way down our street. I still have your left boot if you would like it back? This year it would be really nice if you could stick around for a chat, or at least a cup of tea? Mutsy would really like a bone. Mom wasn't too impressed about the window, so maybe something extra special for her too.

12-01-2011, 12:11 AM	#10 (permalink)
momo3bur Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,855	Dear Santa, Mostly, I would like to have you put up and take down my Christmas tree...as it is a pain in the arse. Otherwise, EARTHA KITT - SANTA BABY 1954 - YouTube Only a few things, you see, as I am not materialistic at all. (Seriously...I'm not, but this is my FAVORITE Christmas song. )

12-01-2011, 12:13 AM	#11 (permalink)
momo3bur Family Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 1,855	Well I suppose it could be tied with this one...is it bad that my favorite version is from Elf? Baby It's Cold Outside - Elf Soundtrack - Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone - YouTube

12-01-2011, 01:40 AM	#25 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	DEAR SANTA: This business of "coming down a chimney and leaving 'presents' in order to get your 'cookies' " sounds suspiciously sexual to me. Much like SpongeBob lives in a pineapple sounds like birth control. I'm not a fan of Freud...heck, he can circulate his own air...nor am I obsessed with pooters and patookies: it just seems obvious to me that there's all kinds of heterosexual connotations involved with your hole operation. [spellcheck - "whole"] WHOLE operation. Then there's the indictment that never DID end up on televisions' "Divorce Court" about "Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" and I won't even go into the lizard joke here, because I respect Mommy. I haven't figured out where the reindeers fit in with this, except "NOTHING runs like a Deere", which could be that DADDY saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, and he might blow a few warning shots into your chest next time you try that "Chimney Maneuver". Anyway, the warden says I gotta go now. It was great getting away from Bubba for a few minutes.

12-01-2011, 01:50 AM	#26 (permalink)
nothuman Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 1,662	Just don't drop the soap around bubba....he has been on the naughty list all his lfe. Blah blah blah I get this Freudian crap all the time...... look at it from my POV. I get one day a year..... one freakin day and thats it for Santa. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it I'm a man with needs as much as any. As for your inferences of beastuality ..... I gets so sick and friggin tired of Ohhh how did Rudolph get that red nose Santa? Respect ma authority!!!!!

12-01-2011, 01:57 AM	#27 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Gee, I never saw it in that light before. I guess you really DO need some understanding. I wasn't being very thoughtful with the reindeer thing...please accept my appologies. Yeah, Bubba is a real pain in the patookie. I hate his grunbting, all the time grunting. It's like Big Foot with the hiccups. As far as being on the naughty list...pffft: understatement of the century. He's in here for arse-on, among other offenses. Crap, they're calling for a lock down. One of the guys started yelling some stupid stuff about...I dunnoh, his words were muffled. Sweet dreams, Chimney Dude.

12-01-2011, 02:04 AM	#28 (permalink)
nothuman Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia Posts: 1,662	Right back at ya inmate 089977723 .....I do have rhe skinny on how to defuse bubba's err advances if the need ever arises again. Simply look around into his watery eyes and start singing "you are the wind beneath my wings" from Beaches. He is a huge Bette Midler fan and has a heart of mush. File in cake comin' your way sparkey....

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums