Camp Royster

[royster]

[royster]

Yes, find a place to pitch your tent...pitching tents is one of our favorite activities...and just enjoy the great outdoors of your mind.

There are many activities available at Camp Royster, and you can suggest your own activities.

This thread/campsite is for just about anything you want. Call my mother names, pick your nose, change the oil in your car...by golly, this is a redneck's dream come true! And we have water nearby!

Be sure to avoid Area 51.3-1/2...anal probes have been reported Rome-ing in those Bushes (George AND Laura).

[royster]

Yes, clean, April-Fresh money is a luxury we can all afford...if we know the tricks of the trade.

Here at Camp Royster, learn the proper ways of getting stubborn stains and Jimmy Hoffa residues off that currency. It's non-denominational, so give it a try!

[royster]

Oh security is just PART of the piece-of-mind you'll enjoy at Camp Royster. The Laughing Cat lets you know all is well, and intruders are immediately detected by Binocular Guy. We're not sure what the dog does, but it doesn't chace the Laughing Cat, so there isn't excessive noise.

With the quiet, we're all able to hear the goings-on in ZephyrusX's tent. That's ALWAYS "Camp-a-RIFFIC"!

[royster]

We have very open minds here at Camp Royster. If our minds were any more open, well...I dunnoh, we'd probably have more of an insect problem than we already do.

Lez Be friends, united in some way...the more the merrier. (Ways, I mean). The Renoculans visit every Wednesday to put together that which man has dismantled haphazardly and without hand cleaner.

Did I mention we have water nearby?

[royster]

We have the finest staff in this part of the world, all of them bribe-able and ready to help you make the most of this little place that seems to be just a part of your fertive imagination...


because it IS part of your fertive imagination!

It's no small wonder that everyone feels better after Midnite.

[royster]

That's the sampling...the rest is up to you to post.

Stay tuned for a picture of Wax Frog driving heavy machinery...and enjoying it!

Stake your campsite and let the camping begin!




"Camp Royster" is an actual place, as the photos show. But THIS camp royster is for here on the forum...have fun with it!

[desertrat]

Does that come with free wi fi ? Is it with in cell phone range ? Cant camp with out the net or cell phone . That area 51 sounds like some kind of gov. test area, it might have a lot of top brass there, and a u.f.o. or 3 . desert rat

[royster]

desert rat, Camp Royster is PERFECT for you, and thanks for posting.

We have a budget variation called "Why Phi"...it's a college class that works with radio waves. The tin cans and string are a bit of an encumberance, but that's what roughin' it is all about.

The ufo parking area has strict rules that they never adhere to. That's why I recommend not venturing over there, unless you're constipated, maybe.

[royster]

While it IS true some unscroopulice in-duh-viduals have CALLED us "Camp Toilet", our OFFICIAL name is "Camp Royster".

This is either a camp toilet or a condom applicator for giants. Since there are large footprints in the area, one might conclude erroniously that giants are lurking about in the nearby hills, looking for "safe sex". We ass-ure you there are no giants looking for safe sex here: medical science has proven that sex with vaults or other thick metal containers can cause penus rust, so we say "avoid safe sex!". The local giants apparently ARE afraid of just such threats, so your sanitation needs are "in the bag" at Camp Royster!

Just the same, Penus Rust Remover IS available in one of the local tents for a nominal fee or barter.

[royster]

You bet your patooki it is! EVERY site has a campfire pit equipped for all of your cooking/animal sacrifice needs! Need fire wood? You're in a ♥♥♥♥ing forest, Smithers! Go get it!

[royster]

No need to smuggle your pet in the trunk of your car! Camp Royster is pet-friendly. Heck, some campers spend their whole DAY petting stuff and things and objects.


Shown here: The Laughing Cat sniffs an incoming vehicle for bombs, drugs, and dead bodies. ALL of those items ARE permitted at Camp Royster, along with your pets...excepting piranhas and those really big snake-things*.


*NOT referring to Rush Limbaugh

[royster]

Originally Posted by royster

Stay tuned for a picture of Wax Frog driving heavy machinery...and enjoying it!

[Haigha]

Camping season is over in Canada, except for some Occupy groups. At this time of year the average depth of snow is about 3 meters (10 feet American) which makes it difficult to get in and out of your tent. Wolves and polar bears also are a problem, not to mention Republicans fleeing from presidential candidate debates hosted by Blitz Wolfer.

[ZephyrusX]

After camping in Alberta after a few years, I've come to the conclusion that I am probably better suited for glamping (luxury camping). It is just too damn cold here even during the summer.

Though virtual camping would solve that problem.

*sits by the camp fire with Royster roasting marshmallows*

[ZephyrusX]

Now if I am going to thoroughly enjoy my virtual glamping experience, I must need a couple of servants to rub my feet and keep me warm at night.

*puts strawberry on string and wiggles it outside tent flaps*

I know a couple of people out there want to be my servant! Just grab the magically strawberry and I'll lure you into my tent!

[Midnite]

Originally Posted by royster

We have the finest staff in this part of the world, all of them bribe-able and ready to help you make the most of this little place that seems to be just a part of your fertive imagination...

Who would have thought that I was already here!

I must have hitched a ride with one of those ufos from parked in Area 51.3-1/2 while I was sleeping.

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

*puts strawberry on string and wiggles it outside tent flaps*

oooohh a strawberry!

This is what camping is all about. Finding wild fruits

[royster]

It's amazing how virtually virtual we virtually are.

Since Richard Simons left Camp Royster about 2 weeks ago, we haven't had any wild fruit (except for Bobby # 2 and #3). Thankfully, Zeph has saved the day with her big toe. She was given the best tent, for all in-tents and purposes.

[royster]

*sits by the camp fire with Royster roasting marshmallows*

You're something special and never let ANYONE convince you otherwise.

The Little Red Wagon is here, incidentally, and I'm using it to haul firewood to your pit. It's a labor of love.

[royster]

So MANY activities to be doing!

Camp Royster can proudly boast about the tools and facilities we offer, but pride goeth before a fall, and we've already lost a couple campers to Ben Dover Cliffs, so we humbly point out (with our good finger...it's just GOOD 'camping etiquette'...) that our metal shop is surpassed only by that which is better than our own facilities. And shop equipment, too.

Below we see cheesedip1 has cut a 1988 Dodge Caravan into a little pick-up truck. We use this little guy to putter around the grounds, picking up litter and firewood, and an occassional hitchhiker.

This project earned cheesedip1 an A+.

(Not for the project...for the hitchhiker she/he found near Ben Dover Cliffs. YOWZA! WAS THAT A NIGHT!!!)

[desertrat]

You dont really need one of thoes fancy port a potties , you can take a 55 gal drum , cut an oval hole in one end ,with a cutting tourch , and burry it until its about 2 ft out of the ground . When its full burn it with a little gas and some disel . It does leave a black ring for the next person to use it . desert rat

[royster]

Originally Posted by desertrat

You dont really need one of thoes fancy port a potties , you can take a 55 gal drum , cut an oval hole in one end ,with a cutting tourch , and burry it until its about 2 ft out of the ground . When its full burn it with a little gas and some disel . It does leave a black ring for the next person to use it . desert rat

That's a GREAT suggestion, desertrat, but that's how we brew vodka out here, and we really don't want to confuse issues any more than we already have.

The vodka still is also how we provide hot water. It's very efficient.

Black rings are also how we mark known mushroom areas.

But keep those suggestions coming: no camp is perfect, and like many of my jokes, there's ALWAYS room for improvement.

[royster]

That's one of our camp mottoes, Haigha...thanks for reminding me.

We have a staff of 5 boys who do nothing BUT deliver indolences to those requesting them. If you see Bobby#3 emerging from my tent, I want to assure you he IS 17, able to make wise choices and also sings in the choir on Saturday service hour...which for me lasts 45 seconds.

[royster]

Just grab the magically strawberry and I'll lure you into my tent!

I think the neon signs and flourescent arrows are sufficient for this, Zeph.

The "free Jose Quervo shots" was a nice touch. I just can't bring myself to 'eat the worm'.

[royster]

Beautiful 'Lake Piranha' is a mere 15 minute hike through Banjo Music Forest. Your Deliverance is assured as we have Staffs in the forest to assist you in whatever you want to do.

Here we see Campers and Locals alike, enjoying the fresh waters of Lake Piranha, which accomodates swimming, fishing, and baptisms when the Lutheran bus arrives each December (provided the ice skating activities are not under way).

We discourage "muff diving" in the lake: it tends to confuse the fish. Save that activity for wood shop or the campfire sing-along!

[Haigha]

Didn't that guy win the last Survivor challenge on TV?

[nothuman]

I picked up this massive Arabian style enclosed marquee on ebay. It is much bigger on the inside then the outside and the inside is decorated in a retro meets mirror ball meets spaghetti sauce stain meets ghetto chic. The seller threw in this solar panel just in case power is not available on site.
I am pitching very close to area 51 3 1/2 because I like a bit of activity as a backdrop to getting back to nature.
Cumbaya ma Lord Cumbaya......

[desertrat]

I was just woundering if there would be any camp outs looking for big foot . Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization desert rat
p.s. Bigfoot

[desertrat]

Another really fun thing to do would go chupacabra hunting . Not to kill it , but prove there real . Chupacabra - Goat Sucker desert rat

[royster]

Originally Posted by desertrat

Another really fun thing to do would go chupacabra hunting . Not to kill it , but prove there real . Chupacabra - Goat Sucker desert rat

I'll let you in on a secret: we have a rescued chihuahua that has no fur, and we let it out at night to keep campers amused. Legend has it the chihuahua used to be in Taco Bell commercials, and this might be so: it drops chalupas all over the camp.

As regards Bigfoot: uh I dunnoh. There's a pretty hairy guy who stops into the campground every once in a while to bum cigarettes, kinda fits the description. Since he drops really old coins into the donations jar, we never bother him unless he tries to drop a chalupa in the vodka still.

To the best of my knowledge, the Goatsucker was produced by American Motors for two years. Rumor has it that the Pacer replaced that model.

While there is something not human here, it's nothuman, and he's about as human as the rest of us. Except the fish that Haigha is holding (which, incidentally, he caught in Lake Piranha with his bare hands).