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11-06-2011, 01:41 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
  |  Ask Andrew & Bradshaw A Question
Andrew & Bradshaw (writing from one account) are now starting up our own question answering business. For a short period only we will do promotional free answers. We expect testimonials out of this!! Ask away  |
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11-06-2011, 01:10 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
| Quote:
Elucidate, my dear muffin. There are many answers to many questions. Sometimes it's hard to put things in black and white terms when they can be best described with shades of grey. Sometimes the definitions of the questions themselves betray you. In the case, however, that is not the case. The answer is no. Next question! Bradshaw answers; Elucidate, my dear cardamom. I have to admit that I once went to a festival like that, and I was met with gangsters who used tomatoes as their weapons. Instead of pickpocketing people, they would go up to them and throw tomatos at their noses, and said people's noses would become red, from the tomato juice. It was in fact very high quality tomato juice, made from the finest tomatoes in Spain. Because of the tomatoeness of the tomatoes, these caused the people hit by these tomatoes to become obsessed with eating tomatoes every day, and some people had to be hospitalized because of tomato addiction. This addiction threatens the very balance of the universe, and if we don't stop it here and now there will be no tomorrow for all of us. This is the threat that tomatoes pose to us. Can we count on you to help us on this holy quest, elucidate? You are the warrior of muffins and cardamoms--you are in fact, the cardamom flavored muffin, and as such, we hire you without question to our cause. Welcome to the battle of the century. So to answer your question: Yes, we've been to this festival. Probably. Maybe. Perhaps.  | |
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11-06-2011, 01:18 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 12,751
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This is to testify, here and now, unequivocably and without reservation, that I, Elucidate, have been the proud receiver of a collaborative effort of one Andrew Gubb and one Bradshaw (so cool, that he only has one name). It is my extreme pleasure to receive their answer to my serious question and if anyone would ask me if these two fine lads from Spain were the ones to call upon for having questions answered in a colorful, and expanded way, I would say without question that these boys are the Shizz. Not only did they compliment me by calling me their "cardamom muffin" Cardamom being the most exotic of spices of course, but they also elaborated their answers to provide extra delight. Honestly, if you didn't hire these boys you would be seriously in need of a mental health review, at the very least, and possibly a labotomy? In the words of Nike...Just Do It! |
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11-06-2011, 02:50 AM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,662
| Quote:
Leave the dirty work to me but if you could give me the name of the person who invented reality TV and their address.... that would be neat. Thanking you in advance for your contribution to humanity. | |
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11-06-2011, 01:53 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Norway
Posts: 1,189
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How does one cross a football pitch? Keep in mind that no matter the distance you've covered there will always be a distance that is the half of what's left. If there is always a half-way-there about to be reached between you and your goal, how can you ever truly reach the end of the football pitch? | |----(half)----(Half)-------|Half|-------(Half)----(half)----|Goal. (and so on) | |
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11-06-2011, 02:10 PM
| #12 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Portugal
Posts: 578
| Quote:
Andrew answers: Allen Funt's TV show Candid Camera of 1948 has been called "The Granddaddy of the Reality TV Genre". Basically, reality TV has existed as long as there has been televisions and people dumb enough to watch it. The same producer actually did reality radio shows before television became a viable medium for him. He died in Pebble Beach, California, so I guess that would be the best place to start looking if you want to piss on his grave. | |
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11-06-2011, 02:35 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Portugal
Posts: 578
| Quote:
Bradshaw answers: At the time you asked this question you had something interesting in your pocket. Last edited by Bradshaw; 11-06-2011 at 02:51 PM. | |
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11-06-2011, 04:22 PM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
| Quote:
I think Bradshaw is prettier. Sure, he has the ugliest nose around, but his ears are stunning. Bradshaw answers: After long consideration I have to say I think I'm prettier. Of course, my ears are absolutely horrifying, but my nose more than makes up for it. | |
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11-06-2011, 04:26 PM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
| Quote:
Bradshaw answers: When the final result of this question comes about, the world gets divided by zero--and this causes a massive catastrophe that tears the world asunder and makes puppies transform into kittens. Muffin kittens. Therefore, I shall not answer, because I turn into a strange person when muffin kittens are around. I want to eat them, you see, because they're muffins(but they're also kittens). Good question. It can't be answered. Or muffin kittens will arrive. Andrew adds: Bradshaw, are you saying that my perfectly calculated answer is in fact wrong??? Bradshaw adds: I am indeed saying that. Andrew adds: Agast! | |
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11-06-2011, 04:30 PM
| #16 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
| Quote:
Shix. Bradshaw answers: How many sex shells did she sex by the sea shore you ask? That's a difficult question to ask because she is truly a very promiscious cardamom flavored muffin. Yes, the she you are referring to is actually Elucidate. Did you think you could fool me so easily? As a holy cardamom flavored muffin(and very smart, may I add), elucidate once set out on a quest to sex as many sex shells as possible. She was the only woman who could do this job, and she would stop at nothing until all the sex shells were sexed. She, in fact, sexed six hundred sixty six sex shells, with great success. A truly honorable woman. Last edited by Andrew Gubb; 11-06-2011 at 04:32 PM. | |
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11-06-2011, 04:39 PM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
| Quote:
Bradshaw answers: Zeno's paradox I see. ------------------------------------------ Easy! | |
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11-06-2011, 04:55 PM
| #19 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Nationality: British Soul: Otherworldly Current Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 5,960
| Quote:
Bradshaw answers: The scientific ramifications of the question you just asked, my dear Midnite, are vast, and I cannot simply answer this question without considering the near infinite variables that are produced from the very situation that you speak of. If the pick-up line comes from you, mister Midnite, then this narrows done the variables, and I can honestly say that you have a very good chance of successfully picking up a woman at a bar. First, because you're attractive. Yes, I'm a guy and I just called you attractive even though I'm not gay. This requires courage on my part, but I digress. To the subject at hand: For you, Midnite, you merely need to approach the woman and say without any hesitation and with complete normality the following word, and this word alone will change worlds, both for you and the woman in question. In other says, simply say Hi, like Andrew said. Good luck! | |
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11-06-2011, 11:43 PM
| #21 (permalink) | ||
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Vermont
Posts: 726
| Quote:
Quote:
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11-07-2011, 12:25 AM
| #22 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,662
| Quote:
1 Book ticket to Pebble Beach Calif 2 Drink 10 litres of water | |
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11-07-2011, 08:00 PM
| #24 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Portugal
Posts: 578
| Quote:
Bradshaw answers: Yes. That would be me. | |
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11-07-2011, 08:01 PM
| #25 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Portugal
Posts: 578
| Quote:
Bradshaw answers: Your cat is thinking of sex. | |
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11-07-2011, 10:54 PM
| #28 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,662
| A Testimonial Quote:
The ability of Andrew and Bradshaw to answer stuff is second to none. Act with confidence in employing them as their ability to source the correct answer more than makes up for their poor personal hygene. By the way my upcoming court case for public indecency and exposure in no way reflects upon their advice. Turns out I'm allergic to asparagus.  | |
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