Is Sex Overrated Or Underrated?

[Andrew Gubb]

I found it odd to read someone say "sex is underrated". Apparently after a while it's not "new" any more and loses its interest.

WHAT?

Well, over to you. Do you think sex is overrated, underrated or somewhere in the middle? I'm saying underrated. I think if people appreciated it enough, there would be a lot more sex and a lot less of those proverbial wars.

[elucidate]

Sex is good, but I've always found my fantasies to be that much more exciting than the actual act itself. What goes on in my head is always more interesting than the reality, I've found...maybe I just haven't had that many good lovers?

I've also gone through stages where I wasn't into sex, mainly penetration. The thought of it made me shiver (not in a good way.) At those times I felt that sex was over rated, and just didn't have sex for a while.

[Andrew Gubb]

You mean overrated, right?

I can kind of understand you, I think... there must be something a little scary about having someone inside of you.

A good time to be bi-curious I would have thought

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

You mean overrated, right?

I can kind of understand you, I think... there must be something a little scary about having someone inside of you.

A good time to be bi-curious I would have thought

haha...yes you're right...overrated.

Well, I am of the opinion that we are all Bi, but I am mainly straight. The experiences I have had with women weren't that satisfying, and the first one could be constituted as rape, on her part.

Ok, maybe rape is too strong a word, but it definitely wasn't consented to.

[Andrew Gubb]

If it wasn't consented to then it probably was rape right?.. by definition?

I think we're all bi too

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

If it wasn't consented to then it probably was rape right?.. by definition?

I think we're all bi too

I guess, but it feels weird calling it that. I mean, without going into too much detail, it wasn't violent or anything, she just took me by total surprise...literally.

[elucidate]

I hope I didn't ruin the mood of the thread for you? It just kinda came out. I actually find it funny to look back on, though it probably isn't really that funny.

[Andrew Gubb]

Lol. Don't worry about it. No mood has been ruined.

If you find it funny I'll do my best not to take it too seriously either

[nietsdoen]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

I found it odd to read someone say "sex is underrated". Apparently after a while it's not "new" any more and loses its interest.

LOL. A direct quote would have sufficed

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

Lol. Don't worry about it. No mood has been ruined.

If you find it funny I'll do my best not to take it too seriously either

Well, I guess you had to be there, but it was pretty ridiculous I have to say.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by nietsdoen

LOL. A direct quote would have sufficed

I forgot where I found it

[Cochonette]

Judging based solely on lesbian films, sex is extremely overrated. My god, it's all they do. Bitches need to get a life.



I really can't stand poorly written novels/plays/movies/shows/books. There is so much overused, cheesy, awkward, mindless crap out there! And Amazon reviews rave about the junk, but only the Almighty Lord knows why.

[desertrat]

I think sex is sex , you get out of it what you give some one else. You take the time to make some one else happy it makes you happy. The girl on girl stuff on porno vids. is more to get guys off and good camera angles than real lesban type sex, most porno is that way , but is is still fun to watch. desert rat

[Le Roi]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Judging based solely on lesbian films, sex is extremely overrated. My god, it's all they do.

Lol, maybe that's because compared to straights and gays, lesbians on average tend to have a lot less sex? So those lesbians watching those lesbian film try to make up for it?

Or it could be because all that lesbian sex on film turns guys on?

A lot of novels and movies are made to satisfy a need that people have that isn't really fulfilled in other ways at the moment. It doesn't mean it's an accurate representation of real life.

I think if people appreciated it enough, there would be a lot more sex and a lot less of those proverbial wars.

Make love, not war

[180]

In my own personal experience, it's been overrated. I come from a group of men where sex is like an UFO, Barely seen and sensationalized when it is seen. (they're dorks).

When I hit my prime about 2 years ago, I suddenly became very attractive to women and I've had a lot of sex with random women. I've even had the schoolgirl scenario. All my expectations, desires, and fantasies compared to the real thing was ..... meh.

I've spend a great deal of energy and effort looking for sex (yes very sad) and when I found it, it was just disappointing. I'm like what happens to a PUA guru when he realizes he dedicated his life to something completely meaningless.

I think of non- procreating sex as bulimia binge eating. Yeah it's almost exactly like it. You go through all the motions of doing what you are biologically intended to do. But then at the last minute you "take it all back". And you did it in the first place just to feel good.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate sex, but so often I see people put their life emphasis on it like I did, and I just feel like they are still immature and wasting time like me. When I meet my old PUA like friends who are 10 years older than me, have children but still looking to snag poonanie, I'm like, well for one, I need new friends. And secondly, we should be focusing on our children and creating better society, not getting our dicks wet and forcing open dopamine channels.

I think sex is great, but it shouldn't be the focus of our lives. I think of it as having a nice cookie once in a while. However, I also think that it should be reserved for baby making. Humans weren't really meant to have sex for fun. Contraception, condoms, etc... have affected our society in monumental ways that we can't see or understand. We have no idea how these things affect our biology and psyche exactly nor the cultural and ideological implications it has. We know sex stimulates oxytocin and is theorized to make women more loyal to a man and men less. Who knows what's happening to our relationships because of recreational sex.

[Mariana Trench]

Originally Posted by 180

Humans weren't really meant to have sex for fun.

This probably isn't true. I can't say for sure (and neither can you), but some of our closest relatives, the bonobos, have sex for social bonding, stress relief, and general health. Humans have a lot of indications something similar is going on: for one thing, most female mammals have no sexual desire unless they're fertile, and don't have sex. Often the males aren't even attracted to them if their smell doesn't indicate they're fertile, as is the case with dogs. While there's evidence of certain points of increased sexuality and sexual attractiveness during points in a woman's cycle (the average woman has an egg at most 24 hrs during a cycle--and 48 at most if two are released--but sperm can live up to five days in the right internal environment: resulting in about a week per cycle that can be classified as fertile) it is not the only time that women are able to be aroused or that men are attracted to them.

Oh, and Andrew: I voted "I don't know".

[munish]

Originally Posted by 180

Humans weren't really meant to have sex for fun. Contraception, condoms, etc...

Environment was harsh and human life span was short , you can't expect to have energy to have sex for fun.

Now the conditions are different.

Originally Posted by 180

Who knows what's happening to our relationships because of recreational sex.

What is happening to our relationship is not because of sex (Sex is just an act,just like giving a massage.)

What is happening is because of trying to control the behavior in a relationship.You are my wife , girl friend ... you can't be intimate with anyone else.

Sexuality has become something which women possess and men try to control sex power of women.

I think you are over valuing sex.

[180]

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

This probably isn't true. I can't say for sure (and neither can you), but some of our closest relatives, the bonobos, have sex for social bonding, stress relief, and general health. Humans have a lot of indications something similar is going on: for one thing, most female mammals have no sexual desire unless they're fertile, and don't have sex. Often the males aren't even attracted to them if their smell doesn't indicate they're fertile, as is the case with dogs. While there's evidence of certain points of increased sexuality and sexual attractiveness during points in a woman's cycle (the average woman has an egg at most 24 hrs during a cycle--and 48 at most if two are released--but sperm can live up to five days in the right internal environment: resulting in about a week per cycle that can be classified as fertile) it is not the only time that women are able to be aroused or that men are attracted to them.

Joy and happiness are types of signals that the body sends us to tell us what we are doing should be "reinforced". Like pain, they are merely biological signals but not ends in and of themselves.

When I touch fire and feel pain, I don't feel pain for pain itself, I feel pain to move my hand out of the fire. Likewise, when I feel joy it's not for joy in and of itself. It's to get me to continuously do this activity which my biological body needs. Sex, food, and all the other types of happiness are biological signals that our body sends to say "this is good, keep doing it".

As for sex, well people do it for pleasure, I certainly do too, but like anything in excess or obsessed, it's harmful. Gorging on food isn't considered positive nor is excessive masturbation and/or sex. On some level you could say they aren't particularly harmful to anybody, but I would argue that they are in some way or another. Bulimics or over eaters (a better example) flood themselves too much that interferes with other facets of their life, health, moving, energy, looks, etc.

Too much sex can (and theres some but not much research on this) upset the way dopamine interacts with the brain. Essentially it becomes an addiction like any drug. An 18 year old boy who spends his day whacking off in his bedroom rarely sees the outside world becomes a drug addicted to the neurotransmitters of sexual release. He can also misappropriate (like me) priorities in his life. For example, I've sacrified friends in pursuit of sex with women, but ultimately those women did not bear my children. I got the "high" associated with sex, but none of the intended benefits sex is supposed to bring. Basically i've fooled my body and the cells that I did a good thing. Ultimately in the long term view of life, I've wasted time, I'm like a weed junky that sat at home and did nothing except feel good.

I don't believe (I could be wrong) our bodies are designed for over sexualization. Much like food, the body doesn't recognize too much of a good thing is bad. Our bodies don't know eating too much causes problems, because the environment of our ancestors did not have that benefit, and like sex, our environment wasn't meant to have a lot of non-copulatory sex, it was meant to have children. But now with condoms and contraceptives we can have us much as we want, and we may be doing something to ourselves we don't know about. There are no studies on oversexed people and it may be under our radar.

I could be wrong, but I'm not taking chances. I'm not waiting to find out. I've already seen what oversexing oneself can do psychologically, and it isn't pretty. Not sure if i shared this story but I know a man who is a pastor and had a child. Know where he was during the birth of his child? With me looking to have sex (luckily not with me). His "drug addiction" to sex made him falter on his responsibilities to his family like any kind of junkie of another sort.

Again I'm not saying sex is bad, as with anything you can have something feel good but just do it in moderation. I know perfectly good lawyers who get high on their offdays and it doesn't interfere with their work. That's self discipline and being responsible. I also know guys who get wasted all the time and do nothing. The same guys can treat sex the same. They can spend their entire waking lifes trying to get it, or they could invest more into their responsibilities.

[nietsdoen]

Originally Posted by 180

I've even had the schoolgirl scenario.

Roleplay, or actually?

[180]

Originally Posted by nietsdoen

Roleplay, or actually?

Let's just say, the reason I'm against over sexualization is because I've learned from my mistakes.

Also, plead the fifth.

[munish]

Originally Posted by 180

I've wasted time, I'm like a weed junky that sat at home and did nothing except feel good.


That's self discipline and being responsible or they could invest more into their responsibilities.

Why sex? Simply stated, were we not to manifest for
the lessons of physicality we would have remained in the form of spirit.
Mystic Life.

[Mariana Trench]

Originally Posted by 180

Joy and happiness are types of signals that the body sends us to tell us what we are doing should be "reinforced". Like pain, they are merely biological signals but not ends in and of themselves.

When I touch fire and feel pain, I don't feel pain for pain itself, I feel pain to move my hand out of the fire. Likewise, when I feel joy it's not for joy in and of itself. It's to get me to continuously do this activity which my biological body needs. Sex, food, and all the other types of happiness are biological signals that our body sends to say "this is good, keep doing it".

As for sex, well people do it for pleasure, I certainly do too, but like anything in excess or obsessed, it's harmful. Gorging on food isn't considered positive nor is excessive masturbation and/or sex. On some level you could say they aren't particularly harmful to anybody, but I would argue that they are in some way or another. Bulimics or over eaters (a better example) flood themselves too much that interferes with other facets of their life, health, moving, energy, looks, etc.

I agree that pain/pleasure are such signals, but I didn't give pleasure as a reason by itself. I said there may be biological reasons we "naturally" have sex besides procreation, and the reason I think that is because of our close relatives who do something similar, and because sex (and pleasure from it) in humans is not constrained to times or instances when we actually can procreate.

Too much sex can (and theres some but not much research on this) upset the way dopamine interacts with the brain. Essentially it becomes an addiction like any drug. An 18 year old boy who spends his day whacking off in his bedroom rarely sees the outside world becomes a drug addicted to the neurotransmitters of sexual release. He can also misappropriate (like me) priorities in his life. For example, I've sacrified friends in pursuit of sex with women, but ultimately those women did not bear my children. I got the "high" associated with sex, but none of the intended benefits sex is supposed to bring. Basically i've fooled my body and the cells that I did a good thing. Ultimately in the long term view of life, I've wasted time, I'm like a weed junky that sat at home and did nothing except feel good.

I don't believe (I could be wrong) our bodies are designed for over sexualization. Much like food, the body doesn't recognize too much of a good thing is bad. Our bodies don't know eating too much causes problems, because the environment of our ancestors did not have that benefit, and like sex, our environment wasn't meant to have a lot of non-copulatory sex, it was meant to have children. But now with condoms and contraceptives we can have us much as we want, and we may be doing something to ourselves we don't know about. There are no studies on oversexed people and it may be under our radar.

Well, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "too much sex" and "oversexed", but assuming one can be those things, they are inherently harmful, or else it wouldn't be "too much". I wouldn't be surprised if there were such effects past a certain point, but it doesn't follow from that that procreation is the only healthy reason.

By the way, most people's bodies do tell them when they've eaten too much, but it's possible to condition that response away, especially in childhood; and there are people who are born without it. (And people who have it malfunctioning in the other direction: I know an old woman with diverticulitis that constantly feels like she's eaten too much because of the pressure on her stomach.)

And like I've mentioned already, there could easily have been *a lot* of sex pre-contraception that did not result in procreation, because women aren't fertile for most of their cycle.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Mariana Trench

Oh, and Andrew: I voted "I don't know".

How did you know I was gonna ask

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by 180

Let's just say, the reason I'm against over sexualization is because I've learned from my mistakes.

Also, plead the fifth.

You naughty boy. Was her name Lolita by any chance?

[fanmarino]

QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Andrew Gubb

[I found it odd to read someone say "sex is underrated". Apparently after a while it's not "new" any more and loses its interest.

My brother equates sex and relationships to gum. . .yes gum.. he says that at first that gum minty and full of flavour but the longer you chew it and have it in your mouth the more flavour it loses, your jaw aches and you cant wait to be rid if it. .

[Acting Like Godot]

most female mammals have no sexual desire unless they're fertile, and don't have sex. Often the males aren't even attracted to them if their smell doesn't indicate they're fertile, as is the case with dogs. While there's evidence of certain points of increased sexuality and sexual attractiveness during points in a woman's cycle ..... it is not the only time that women are able to be aroused or that men are attracted to them.

This sort of thing varies from one species to another.

Some species have very specific seasons when they have sex. Eg salmon and penguins.

Others can do it all year round. Eg rats, hamsters and humans.

[180]

Originally Posted by elucidate

You naughty boy. Was her name Lolita by any chance?

I Plead the fif

[fanmarino]

can you pls quote the 5th?

[180]

Originally Posted by fanmarino

can you pls quote the 5th?

‪Chappelle I plead the Fif‬‏ - YouTube

[Focus Driblet]

Originally Posted by 180

Joy and happiness are types of signals that the body sends us to tell us what we are doing should be "reinforced". Like pain, they are merely biological signals but not ends in and of themselves.

When I touch fire and feel pain, I don't feel pain for pain itself, I feel pain to move my hand out of the fire. Likewise, when I feel joy it's not for joy in and of itself. It's to get me to continuously do this activity which my biological body needs. Sex, food, and all the other types of happiness are biological signals that our body sends to say "this is good, keep doing it".

As for sex, well people do it for pleasure, I certainly do too, but like anything in excess or obsessed, it's harmful. Gorging on food isn't considered positive nor is excessive masturbation and/or sex. On some level you could say they aren't particularly harmful to anybody, but I would argue that they are in some way or another. Bulimics or over eaters (a better example) flood themselves too much that interferes with other facets of their life, health, moving, energy, looks, etc.

Too much sex can (and theres some but not much research on this) upset the way dopamine interacts with the brain. Essentially it becomes an addiction like any drug. An 18 year old boy who spends his day whacking off in his bedroom rarely sees the outside world becomes a drug addicted to the neurotransmitters of sexual release. He can also misappropriate (like me) priorities in his life. For example, I've sacrified friends in pursuit of sex with women, but ultimately those women did not bear my children. I got the "high" associated with sex, but none of the intended benefits sex is supposed to bring. Basically i've fooled my body and the cells that I did a good thing. Ultimately in the long term view of life, I've wasted time, I'm like a weed junky that sat at home and did nothing except feel good.

I don't believe (I could be wrong) our bodies are designed for over sexualization. Much like food, the body doesn't recognize too much of a good thing is bad. Our bodies don't know eating too much causes problems, because the environment of our ancestors did not have that benefit, and like sex, our environment wasn't meant to have a lot of non-copulatory sex, it was meant to have children. But now with condoms and contraceptives we can have us much as we want, and we may be doing something to ourselves we don't know about. There are no studies on oversexed people and it may be under our radar.

I could be wrong, but I'm not taking chances. I'm not waiting to find out. I've already seen what oversexing oneself can do psychologically, and it isn't pretty. Not sure if i shared this story but I know a man who is a pastor and had a child. Know where he was during the birth of his child? With me looking to have sex (luckily not with me). His "drug addiction" to sex made him falter on his responsibilities to his family like any kind of junkie of another sort.

Again I'm not saying sex is bad, as with anything you can have something feel good but just do it in moderation. I know perfectly good lawyers who get high on their offdays and it doesn't interfere with their work. That's self discipline and being responsible. I also know guys who get wasted all the time and do nothing. The same guys can treat sex the same. They can spend their entire waking lifes trying to get it, or they could invest more into their responsibilities.

I've finally realized that you must be a robot