Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:29 PM

I don't want to spam out other boards...especially when they're legitimate questions or observations.

But some of them lend themselves to SO MUCH satire, the royster-mind goes wild.

"What To Eat To Strengthen Hair?"

Steel wool helps that Afro look, spaghetti has been clinically-proven to relax curly hair, and Curly doesn't even HAVE hair...nyuck nyuck nyuck!

>BONK!<

OW! WOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOO

PLEASE NOTE: It is not my intention to disrespect others or diminish the import of other boards' posters. It is in a spirit of fairness I ask contributors to this thread to consider others' feelings, and post with loving discernment. royster

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:30 PM

MEAT REPLACMENTS:

That would be your SECOND wife.

OR...RIGHT hand.

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:32 PM

"Would you kill your t.v.?"

No, I just sit it in the corner and make it watch itself.
(Segue into "Things your mother tells you" by Flying Shadow)

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:34 PM

"Seth's spellcasting is opening"

Door prizes for the first 100 vexed.

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:36 PM

"Glowing blue pork found in China"

Then I want my money back for these tickets: they're SUPPOSED to be in concert in Anaheim!

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:44 PM

"The moon and us"

Discussion about the unreleased Pink Floyd album that featured a Canned Ham* on the album cover.

*an American expression for exposing one's buttox through a car window, pressed up against the glass

thus making it an alBUM

royster · 06-16-2011, 04:54 PM

Depends on the barbeque grill and the chef, cooking time and cut of meat.

royster · 06-16-2011, 05:02 PM

@!!#$@%@!!!

Quote:

*&^% and her @#!#!$$

That's not &%$!! true, BeefMeat.

Quote:

@#$!@% so it's juice *&^^%$!!!

ONLY if you *&^!@# while in the *&&^%@!!

royster · 06-16-2011, 05:52 PM

The same thing I ALWAYS say to the person above me in bed: let's take a break, I can't breathe.

royster · 06-16-2011, 05:55 PM

Mary, Mary

Because she's so contrary, with her garden and cockle shells and all.

sorter · 06-16-2011, 05:59 PM

Sex on first date "poll".

_I'm a dumb guy and my penis does all my thinking
_I'm a guy who tells the ladies I completely respect them so I can get laid
_I'm a woman, and a slut
_I'm a classy and respectable female. Sex?! Oh gross.
.

royster · 06-16-2011, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sorter

Sex on first date "poll".

_I'm a dumb guy and my penis does all my thinking
_I'm a guy who tells the ladies he completely respects them so he can get laid
_I'm a woman, and a slut
_I'm a classy and respectable female. Sex?! Oh gross.
.

Good one, sorter!

Quote:

Sex on first date

Q: Will you respect me in the morning?

A: Hell, I don't respect you now. Why would the morning make things different?

royster · 06-16-2011, 06:05 PM

...opening act for the Beasty Boys

royster · 06-16-2011, 06:07 PM

A personal journal by Joseph Goebels

royster · 06-16-2011, 06:20 PM

According to Homer Simpson, no: that word appears on his nuclear plant controls all the time.

royster · 06-16-2011, 07:27 PM

Kreskin reveals his fan mail.

The Amazing Kreskin

royster · 06-16-2011, 10:24 PM

Obviously sit on yer ASS a lot.
____________________
Is this a trick question?
____________________
Oh! A career riddle!
My guess is: Guidance Counselor.

royster · 06-16-2011, 10:27 PM

Well, gee, it depends on who's on top, donchathink?

(I am CERTAIN I'm going to get into trouble for these...)

royster · 06-16-2011, 10:44 PM

Maybe. I dunnoh.

royster · 06-16-2011, 10:47 PM

...or thickly-turbaned jogging?

royster · 06-16-2011, 10:50 PM

.what's with the "toilet seat issue"?

.why the reluctance to enjoy the Three Stooges?

.are you gonna eat those fries or NOT?

royster · 06-16-2011, 10:52 PM

Yes: learn to use complete words, in complete sentences.

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:00 PM

Giving money a happy childhood, too.

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:03 PM

It's that "toilet seat issue" again, isn't it...

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:25 PM

PLEASE NOTE: It is not my intention to disrespect others or diminish the import of other boards' posters. It is in a spirit of fairness I ask contributors to this thread to consider others' feelings, and post with loving discernment. royster

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:29 PM

Oh. I was wondering about the neck brace and black eyes...

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:31 PM

That's why God made coins.

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:32 PM

One word: penicillin

bluestar · 06-16-2011, 11:34 PM

royster · 06-16-2011, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluestar

Thanks, bluestar: I never know when I'm doing well, especially when others don't post.

06-16-2011, 04:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Funny Replies To Other Boards I don't want to spam out other boards...especially when they're legitimate questions or observations. But some of them lend themselves to SO MUCH satire, the royster-mind goes wild. "What To Eat To Strengthen Hair?" Steel wool helps that Afro look, spaghetti has been clinically-proven to relax curly hair, and Curly doesn't even HAVE hair...nyuck nyuck nyuck! >BONK!< *OW! WOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOO* PLEASE NOTE: It is not my intention to disrespect others or diminish the import of other boards' posters. It is in a spirit of fairness I ask contributors to this thread to consider others' feelings, and post with loving discernment. royster Last edited by royster; 06-16-2011 at 11:27 PM.

06-16-2011, 04:54 PM	#7 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Burning fat first, or gaining muscle then losing fat? Depends on the barbeque grill and the chef, cooking time and cut of meat.

06-16-2011, 05:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	What would you say if you woke up to the person above you in your bed? The same thing I ALWAYS say to the person above me in bed: let's take a break, I can't breathe.

06-16-2011, 05:55 PM	#10 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Who are your favorite contrarians and why? Mary, Mary Because she's so contrary, with her garden and cockle shells and all.

06-16-2011, 05:59 PM	#11 (permalink)
sorter Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: NYC Posts: 965	Sex on first date "poll". _I'm a dumb guy and my penis does all my thinking _I'm a guy who tells the ladies I completely respect them so I can get laid _I'm a woman, and a slut _I'm a classy and respectable female. Sex?! Oh gross. . Last edited by sorter; 06-16-2011 at 10:17 PM.

06-16-2011, 04:30 PM	#2 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	MEAT REPLACMENTS: That would be your SECOND wife. OR...RIGHT hand.

06-16-2011, 04:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	"Would you kill your t.v.?" No, I just sit it in the corner and make it watch itself. (Segue into "Things your mother tells you" by Flying Shadow)

06-16-2011, 04:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	"Seth's spellcasting is opening" Door prizes for the first 100 vexed.

06-16-2011, 04:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	"Glowing blue pork found in China" Then I want my money back for these tickets: they're SUPPOSED to be in concert in Anaheim!

06-16-2011, 04:44 PM	#6 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	"The moon and us" Discussion about the unreleased Pink Floyd album that featured a Canned Ham* on the album cover. *an American expression for exposing one's buttox through a car window, pressed up against the glass thus making it an alBUM

06-16-2011, 06:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Vancouver Riots ...opening act for the Beasty Boys

06-16-2011, 06:07 PM	#14 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	So uh... What is wrong with having a World Government? A personal journal by Joseph Goebels

06-16-2011, 06:20 PM	#15 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Is "Failure" a bad thing? According to Homer Simpson, no: that word appears on his nuclear plant controls all the time.

06-16-2011, 07:27 PM	#16 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	People Telling You That You Are Amazing Kreskin reveals his fan mail. The Amazing Kreskin

06-16-2011, 10:24 PM	#17 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	I'm tired. I don't do anything, I'm lazy, lack willpower, etc., etc. What do I do? Obviously sit on yer ASS a lot. ____________________ Is this a trick question? ____________________ Oh! A career riddle! My guess is: Guidance Counselor.

06-16-2011, 10:27 PM	#18 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Simply Be, or Work for It? Well, gee, it depends on who's on top, donchathink? (I am CERTAIN I'm going to get into trouble for these...) Last edited by royster; 06-16-2011 at 10:56 PM.

06-16-2011, 10:44 PM	#19 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Can you have a "kinda-sorta" spirit guide? Maybe. I dunnoh.

06-16-2011, 10:47 PM	#20 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Is opposing the ground zero mosque just thinly veiled racism? ...or thickly-turbaned jogging?

06-16-2011, 10:50 PM	#21 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	3 puzzling questions about women... .what's with the "toilet seat issue"? .why the reluctance to enjoy the Three Stooges? .are you gonna eat those fries or NOT?

06-16-2011, 10:52 PM	#22 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	any study tips fr me? Yes: learn to use complete words, in complete sentences.

06-16-2011, 11:00 PM	#23 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	How to Raise $1,000,000 Giving money a happy childhood, too.

06-16-2011, 11:03 PM	#24 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Women at war It's that "toilet seat issue" again, isn't it...

06-16-2011, 11:25 PM	#25 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	PLEASE NOTE: It is not my intention to disrespect others or diminish the import of other boards' posters. It is in a spirit of fairness I ask contributors to this thread to consider others' feelings, and post with loving discernment. royster

06-16-2011, 11:29 PM	#26 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Met a girl, having trouble with her sexual past Oh. I was wondering about the neck brace and black eyes...

06-16-2011, 11:31 PM	#27 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	I want to know if this is true or false? That's why God made coins.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

06-16-2011, 11:32 PM	#28 (permalink)
royster Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5,479	Met a girl, having trouble with her sexual past One word: penicillin

06-16-2011, 11:34 PM	#29 (permalink)
bluestar Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 775

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