Funny Replies To Other Boards

[royster]

And this is not a missile.

We can go back and forth on this all day.

[royster]

NOoooooooOOoOOOOooooOOOOOooooOooooOoooooo it's just the wind ,myyyyyyyy deeeeeear......

[royster]

Wow: I've been shootin' at the wrong target all these years!

[royster]

Well, "presentation is everything", as the saying goes. I prefer to serve children on a nice bed of coleslaw and eye-of-newt patte. When my ogre friends come for lunch, they're usually delighted at the garnishes ideas I come up with. Like the "Hansel And Grettle Carrot Curls" and the "Little Red Riding Hood Onions".

Oh, they joke about it: "Please pass the Little Red Riding Hood ornaments". Good LORD we laugh! With our mouths OPEN, of course.

[royster]

Because I SAID SO, THAT'S WHY.


Mom

[royster]

For some reason, this thread stopped abruptly.

[royster]

Yes, obscene phone calls CAN get you extra dollars if you have the right phone numbers.

They can also get you put in jail if you call the Constable's house and HE answers. However, his wife is very happy to entertain you, if you get what i mean.

[royster]

Yeah, those chastity belts are impossible to pick with a hairpin. Congratulations! Where, pray tell, did you find it?

In her bra.

Oh. Did you leave the handcuffs on or is that part of the secret?

It's part of the secret.

[royster]

Please try again later.

Your call IS important to us. Please: stay on the line...your call will be answered in the order it was received.

[Tall and tan and blond and lovely/ the girl from Eepohneemuh goes walking/and when she passes a dude she g]

Your call IS important to us. Please: stay on the line...your call will be answered in the order it was received.

[royster]

Originally Posted by royster

No, but Saran Wrap can...it can keep the earth's freshness in for DAYS!

N.A.S.A. is working on a huge roll of Saran Wrap to save the earth, but as most of us know, men don't know how to pull it off the roll, cut it, and handle it in one piece. They're searching for the perfect woman to launch into space to perform the wrapping procedure, secretly called "Operation Condom", and so far, Florence Henderson is on that list, though probably too old. June Lockhart was considered, but it isn't known if she's still alive or mere playing mother roles in Star Wars sequels. Rosanne Barr was nominated, but Jet Propulsion Laboratories did the math, and launching her into space...while a good idea...just isn't physically possible.

Take heart: men end up with wads of duct tape, just like the Saran Wrap they entangle themselves with, so it's a cinch a WOMAN will do the job.

Tupperware had no comment on this article, except for a "burp of freshness", that smelled suspiciously like 3-week-old lettuce.

As a final note: Anita Bryant was highly recommended for the job, but is allergic to condoms. She's latex~intolerant.

An important update on "Operation Condom":

Jet Propulsion Laboratories, in cooperation with Lockheed, have agreed that a super rocket system COULD fling Rosanne Barr out into the stratosphere...but testing concluded that she would be of no use there, whatsoever, and could possibly block the sun. N.A.S.A. is therefor proceding with the project.

Spokesperson Spacey Suzanne told reporters: "There's a lot of trash out in space. Rosanne will feel right at home." Asked about the potential Rosanne Eclipses, he replied: "Well, yeah...but think about the children! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?"

When asked about the children, Suzanne blurted: "What children?"

[royster]

I really do...but I SO love humping their knees when they sit down.

Buffy, The Teacup Poodle

[royster]

Y'know, if you had asked me that question a few minutes ago, I would have answered differen...DURN! Look t how much time it's taking to get this posted.

[royster]

To spick to ayn oporuhtohr, praise sahvan.

To live an messahje, praise four.

[royster]

That's right: we CONSTANTLY make sure our reproductive systems are UP TO SNUFF at any given moment of the hour or day.

Ooops: gotta run, now: time for a test!

[royster]

Few...if any...of us on this foum have accomplished growing up, so we can't tell you.

We CAN make fun of your thread! Neener neener nneeeeeeeeneeeer!

[royster]

And LSD lets us see what HE'S seeing. It all makes sense, now.

[Wax Frog]

...was a jolly, happy soul!

[royster]

Pardon me: I have to resource this link.

I'm gonna be WORKIN' this page for a while

Social & Relationships - Page 49

[royster]

Ya THINK?

[royster]

To answer you would indicate that I am, or once WAS, an obsessive stalker.

But, no, Mary of 114 Mellberry Drive, I am NOT. So I can't give you any advice, though I could meet you at your usual 4:37 stop at the Starbucks at table 8 and try to be a good listener.

[royster]

Oh fer Pete's sakes! Don'y you think he's self-conscious of that enough? He doesn't need that rubbed in his face...if he had "it" to rub, I mean.

[royster]

Then PLEASE stay off the golf course while WE'RE puttering around.

[royster]

You DO look rather like a Piccasso drawing.

Have you looked at the thread "co-dependant"? "Relationally addicted"? "Parts of me are missing"?

[royster]

♥♥♥♥, no. ♥♥♥♥, I used that word just to order strombelli!

[royster]

Fly On The Wall News, here.

Yes, Steve has shared three drinks with Veronica Vixen, and things are really heating up!

That's right, Buzz: it appears Steve is pouring the 4th drink, with the intention of showing Veronica "The Sling".


I don't know, Buzzelle: the sling might not be on the menu tonight...he looks more like a "tiger fur rug in front of the fire" kind of guy.

[royster]

Arid Extra Dry loses yet more share of the deoderant market.

[Le Roi]

If Angela gets banned....EVERYONE gets banned!

[bdog]

Fail!

[royster]

It WAS a disappointing Honeymoon night, but THANK GOD for YOU, Lefty!

[bdog]

I love to eat mcdonolds. I'm halfway through my first building. only 30,999.5 more to go.