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01-18-2011, 09:18 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
  |  the MUD-FLINGING thread IT COULD GET MESSY IN HERE Hello. My name is Roystronovinchinski, but you can call me "royster". You know, in this brutal world of competition, seldom are fights fair. Often they simply leave one individual quivering in shameless defeat...like say, for instance, Mounds after a male stripper contest, which he lost to the gentlest, sincerest and most visually stimulating winner, like...oh...say....ME...because thoughtful and caring individuals, such as yourself, refused to lower themselves to the pandering and mud-flinging campaigns of charactor assasination which unscrooopilous individuals like....oh...say....MOUNDS...almost invariably employ. Not me. [soft piano music] Yes, just a sweet, aging hippie...actually a flower child because I was too young to be considered a war-protesting, baby-kissing hippie...yet all those wholesome baby kisses were in my heart. Why, i once kisseda baby and didn't realise I was doing it! I just naturally gravitate toward the innocent and defenseless, to protect them, and inshroud them with LOVE [whimsical flute flutter], unlike the many, many incriminating videos of jack-booted tyrants who delight in seeing babies in soiled diapers, and therefore don't lend a hand. Oh! Did you know there's a "Male Stripper" competition going on...right now!...on a forum near you!? [determined piano music, soft violin] Yes, in order to provide some variety, I have charitibly entered this silly competition, and it is my hope...for the sake of the babies...you'll consider voting for ME. Yes, a vote for royster will fill your heart with a glow that is unmatched by any other contestant. Do it forthe babies! Do it for me! [creshendo] DO IT NOW! WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE BABIES!? Paid for by the Campaign And Relay Concentrating Understanding Socially. C.A.R.C.U.S. is not affiliated with "Mounds For Babies" |
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01-18-2011, 10:04 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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Illustro Cado; cute, witty...the embodiment of 'God', some say. But is he really? His driving record speaks a whole different story about him. [] July 17, 1999 - citation: parking a vehicle on the sidewalk SOUNDS innocent enough; anyone can mistake a hop-scotch-chalked sidewalk for a prime parking space. BUT NO ONE MISTAKES A CLEARLY-MARKED EMERGENCY ENTRANCE FOR A CAR WASH! This is the excuse Illustro Cado gave to Judge Judy on episode #3Bt49OH5hi7. "I thought it was Jack In The Box..." "Wudduhyuh, some kinda PUNK!?" Judge Judy barked at him. Through his chemically-induced carbonated-looking glazed look, his reply? "How many (urp) varieties ARE there?" [] Spetember 45th, 2003 - citation: tailgating SOUNDS innocent enough, but WHO tailgates an ice cream truck going 2.3 kilometers per hour!!?? "I wanted a BOMB-POP." He slurred to the ticketing officer. HE'S UNSAFE BEHIND THE WHEEL, HOW COULD HE BE SAFE ON THE STRIPPER RUN WAY? When using your precious vote for the sexiest male stripper on the forum, keep in mind royster is a sure-footed driver with 37 years of very few mishaps, except the quaalude incident in 1976. That was a bit more than a mishap. And cost some cash, too. WHEN IT COMES TO NAKED, REMEMBER: royster is BAREly sexy! Last edited by royster; 01-19-2011 at 03:21 AM. |
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01-18-2011, 10:20 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| BILLY THE ADULT...IS HE REALLY? Here's what one of the many women from his illegal harum told investigative reporter Joe Snitch: "OHHhhhHHHhh he's every BIT an adult! SNORT! SKUH! SNORT!" Yes, we knew that...BUT THE NAME!? "Oh, THAAAAAT" she said between belts of Thunderbird "4-BAGGER" wine: "I can't even PRONOUNCE IT!. [burp] Hey...you gonna eat those fries?" His OWN MOTHER HAD THIS TO SAY IN 1994: "That Jimmy Cater was some peanut farmer, huh? Not like that kid of MINE! I can't even remember what we named him!" THAT'S RIGHT: THIS RODEO COWBOY IS A HORSE WITH NO NAME! [begin Jim Croce's "I GOT A NAME"] royster...he used a lower-case "R" because he's just so humble! AND... 'I got a name/ I got a name Like the croaking toad..." royster: a croaking old toad...WITH A NAME! Last edited by royster; 01-19-2011 at 03:21 AM. |
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01-19-2011, 02:22 AM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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MOUNDS: portraying himself as an innocent stripper. But IS he innocent?  WHY this look? Perhaps it's this INTERCEPTED MESSAGE concerning the STRIPPER POLE (the one for voting, not dancing): [QUOTE] Quote:
The fact is, MOUNDS NEEDS the rep points and the success of this poll to pay off his cat-gambling debts, pay off moderators and square that bet he made with Solpsistis. MOUNDS: DO YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT? Well DO ya, punk? Last edited by royster; 01-19-2011 at 02:25 AM. | |
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01-19-2011, 02:38 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
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I seem to have that knack...  Re: the whole Frog business - it's said that no matter how big you are there's always somebody bigger. Assuming this is true, I figure, why not be tiny and hide instead? |
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01-19-2011, 02:49 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| INDIAN SCHOLAR...NDNScholar, to those who suspect he's some sort of studyer of some culture. But what does his study time REALLY look like? THAT'S RIGHT, HE'S A PARTY ANIMAL WITHOUT A SPIKED COLLAR! YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM AS "NDNScholar"- BUT THIS PHOTO OF A BUM WILL MAKE YOU HOLLER! HE'S NOT GETTING YOUR VOTE, YOUR DAUGHTER OR DOLLAR! BECAUSE SMART PEOPLE DON'T VOTE STUPID. I'm royster, and I approve of this smear campaign! |
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01-19-2011, 03:05 AM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| a vote for royster keeps Vinnie away from your wife!
[triumphant yet humble marching music] royster: DEFENDER OF THE INNOCENTYes, royster would LOVE to be here right now, dismissing false accusations and making the forum a better place for babies and stray dogs, alike. But, no....he's out rescuing the defenseless, upholding the unupholdable, and steering in the right direction, BECAUSE IN AMERICA, THAT'S HOW THE OFF-RAMPS GO. This recent photo shows royster protecting a defenseless dog against cruel and unusual circumstance. Quote:
"But...can he STRIP?" some are encouraged not to ask. CAN HE STRIP!? PROBABLY. And probably better than any male or male-by-product-food-substance posting on these forums. A VOTE FOR royster MEANS...uh...he might win the contest. If it ever ends. Last edited by royster; 01-19-2011 at 03:17 AM. | |
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01-19-2011, 03:13 AM
| #12 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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01-19-2011, 03:17 AM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
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Got it! Heehee! YouTube - Natalie Merchant- My skin (with lyrics) |
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01-19-2011, 03:33 AM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
Takes a lot of wind out of the ol' disinformation/ smear campaign sails, though.  | |
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01-19-2011, 03:37 AM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
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Wasn't meant to de-wind, royster man, I just hear those darn opening vocals EVERY time I see a furball making the big-sad-eyes face I am pretty clueless about music these days, but I'm glad I could accidentally hit you with something you'd like. Serendipity rules...
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01-19-2011, 03:58 AM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Turn left at the next intercourse. LostMyMap: TRYING TO BE ATLAS WITHOUT SHRUGGING IT OFF. There he is, raising burrows on his MAPtropolis acreage, all the while unable to keep inventory of his flock. Confused and dyslexic, he digs pits and then runs off to another project. There are times he can't identify his flock or his digging projects. WHAT KIND OF POLE-DANCE DISASTER IS THIS, STUMBLING AROUND? LostMyMap: HE DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASSES FROM HIS HOLES IN THE GROUND! royster: a piece of ass is all I need...what the flock!?  Last edited by royster; 01-19-2011 at 04:05 AM. |
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01-19-2011, 04:42 AM
| #20 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| I'm even-Steven! CACHEBORN: HE SUFFERS FROM "SHRINKAGE"...not that there's anything WRONG with that... But who, in their right mind, wants to see a male stripper who gets smaller as the music gets louder? By the end of the song, he's only two inches tall and easily confused with BEEFARINO. DON'T BECOME A GEORGE CASTANZA! THE COSMOS....what? Oh. I see. MOUNDS didn't INCLUDE cacheborn on the POLL. MOUNDS: EXCLUSION IS MY SECOND-MIDDLE NAME. THE FIRST MIDDLE NAME GOT LEFT OUT. VOTE royster. VOTE IN CLUSION. Or whatever country you're in. |
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01-19-2011, 04:52 AM
| #21 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: NYC
Posts: 965
| Quote:
 Don't make me feel left out! I WON'T BE IGNOOORRED!  . Last edited by sorter; 01-19-2011 at 04:55 AM. | |
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01-19-2011, 05:32 PM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Near Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 98
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ROYSTER is silly fellow who not talk good. HE LOOK LIKE NOTHING MUCH BUT IS REALLY WORLD CLASS ATHLETE BUT YOUNGER. I have returned from exile to expose this person as impersonator of nothing much. THROW MUD NOW! |
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01-19-2011, 05:42 PM
| #23 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
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01-19-2011, 07:09 PM
| #24 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Near Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 98
| The quality of mudding is not strained
As an emerging nation (not many Americans have found us), Canada depends heavily on mud. We have our tar sands, for example. After the tar has been lovingly extracted, we sell the goo to the U.S. and are left with---oh yes, MUD. Some of our leading politicians have learned not just to fling it, but how to curve the throw to go around corners. And our split-finger mudballs are legendary. Mud baths are popular because mud is good for you. Our tourism brochures will soon feature the catch phrase COME AND WALLOW. |
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01-19-2011, 10:21 PM
| #26 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Ah, yes, Maykamuckygobagu, shown here during 'Pirahna Pit' night. Those natives are wild and whacky.  Speaking of "whacky"...why don't you beat it, Haigha! I'm trying to win a stripper contest here....wait... wanna earn a few "rep" points? You could get that "Karma doll" you've always wanted! Murphy would LOVE it! |
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01-20-2011, 12:49 AM
| #28 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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01-20-2011, 01:07 AM
| #29 (permalink) | |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
| Quote:
Haigha, AKA "Fishily Adams":  | |
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