This Just In.... (fake news stories)

[LostMyMap]

If we can have fake quotes, we can have fake news stories. Bring em on!

"Restaurants across Arkansas are now serving roast black bird. About four of them will fill the average man. The dish will likely displace possum belly stew as the favorite hilbilly meal this year."

"Lindsay Lohan received an Academy Award nomination for best actress for her portrayal of a Hollywood starlet with no discernable talent. Ms. Lohan's response was, "OMG, R U following me on Twitter?"

"Mel Gibson, Russel Crowe and Charlie Sheen did not physically abuse anyone this week. However, Alec Baldwin met with David Hasselhoff to discuss new ways of shitting on their offspring."



Add more, maybe we can all get on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

[LostMyMap]

"A man was arrested today after running down Main Street wearing nothing but a cape and a silk sock and a big "XXX" etched in the manhair on his chest, while yelling "The 81 is silent" at the top of his lungs. The man was cited for indecent exposure, disturbing the peace, and egging a police car. He was remanded to the state mental institution for evaluation. No one was injured in the incident, but one of the arresting officers has quit his job after the suspect repeatedly asked him "what is your escape plan"

[LostMyMap]

"An explosion rocked a downtown apartment building this morning, apparently caused by the ignition of natural gas. The fire deparment was able to put out the resulting blaze before it damaged the rest of the building. A police spokesman said no one was in the apartment at the time however, the tenant's cat was found dead. Arson investigators declined to comment, however they are searching for the apartment's tenant. He is described as a white male with a Canadian accent who has an irrational fear of house cats, often believing that they are the size of lions."

[Mounds]

Lol, this idea has TONS of potential. I love it when authors create a universe for they're stories and this is along those lines. A personal development universe.

[LostMyMap]

Originally Posted by Mounds

Lol, this idea has TONS of potential. I love it when authors create a universe for they're stories and this is along those lines. A personal development universe.

Thanks. Feel free to join in! This is for everyone.

[roxyruby]

Good-evening.

Tonight the shocking revelation that The Pope has abandoned his Role as Pope and has now become a male pole dancer. We cross live to Rome to discuss this unbelieveable story that is rocking the world.

[roxyruby]

Good-evening

Another Terrifying Armed robbery has occured on Sydneys West-Side this afternoon, however this time, the weapon used was a giant rubber duck shooting laughing gas. The two men were described as transvestites and were wearing striking thigh high pink high heeled boots. The armed thieves escaped with a packet of lollipops and a couple of magazines.

[roxyruby]

Good-Evening

Tonight, a news story about my self. You see, I'm in love with the Camera-Man, and I wanted to make a suprise announcement of this to the world, including him. So just hang on while I get up and go over and passionately kiss him.

[roxyruby]

Good-Evening

World-Wide Up-Roar and Street Protests continue over the choice of clothing of the Prime Minister Yesterday. We cross live to Canberra to discuss her shocking choice of the mismatching colours, purple, and pink, and that horrifying skull printed handbag.

[roxyruby]

Good-Evening

As most of us already know, aliens landed on earth yesterday. To everyones disbelief, including all the Governments of the world, the aliens say they came because they needed to go to the toilet on their way to another Space destination.

[roxyruby]

Good-Evening

tonight, women all over the world are revolting against the wide-held belief that women should wear bra's. The revolution was fast, and unexpected. We cross live to NewYork where women are burning their bra's in a massive pile, blocking the cities traffic even, and many ordinary women are actually taking off clothing and exposing their breasts in public, demanding the removal of all clothing based laws.

[roxyruby]

Good-evening

Tonight, A chilling story to disgust even the most strongest of us. A discovery has just been made in some bushland of a whole mountain built from Used Condoms, Syringes, and Illegal drugs. What's worse than this mess being untrendy and not socially acceptable is that the entire worlds condom resources have appeared to have been used up all of a sudden on this one massive mountaneous heap of a construction. There is a hollow in the middle of this mountain and it is believed that a whole family is living inside. Soon, Armed Milita will be moving in with full body protection to seize the perpetrators. The area has been blocked off and Milita are preventing a strange group of naked, nursery ryhme singing protestors from entering the zone.

[roxyruby]

Good-Evening

it was only yesterday that we all watched footage of the first dog known to speak English in the full vocabulary and understanding of a grown human being. Tonight, we watch again in awe as Joe-Joe presents a speech about Animal Rights, more specifically, Dog rights, and the history of Dog abuse, speciesism, and species discrimination. Let's all say a big loud "awwww" as Joe-Joe walks up on stage.

[bloodworksinc]

Good evening, this is Mah Sheets Chitte from P networks special.
Earlier today, a homeless woman walked into a open sewer and got stuck in until her last desperate attempts called upon the attention of a fellow drifter.
The drifter a middle aged night soil worker, walked over and covered the manhole with exhausting attempts.
According to him " There's one less homeless, and looks like she's home now".

[LostMyMap]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

Good-Evening

tonight, women all over the world are revolting against the wide-held belief that women should wear bra's. The revolution was fast, and unexpected. We cross live to NewYork where women are burning their bra's in a massive pile, blocking the cities traffic even, and many ordinary women are actually taking off clothing and exposing their breasts in public, demanding the removal of all clothing based laws.

If just one of these could be true....

Thank you to our intrepid reporter from Brisbane, RoxyRuby for all your insightful and up-to-the-minute news!

[LostMyMap]

Today's weather, mostly cloudy with a 40% chance for precipitation. The coastal and low lying areas may receive from 1 - 3 inches of dead black birds, while the mountains may get up to four inches.

[royster]

Hickory Dickory Doc reports
2 mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
the other escaped with minor injuries.

Film at 11.

[sorter]

The Joint European Torus announced that there has been a quantum leap in the understanding of how atoms fuse.
Apparently, an off-handed comment by a janitor gave a JET scientist a radical and incomprehensibility simple idea.
The scientist then built a fusion reactor that can use any biomass as fuel.
The reactor is the about the size of a window air conditioner and is completely safe.
It can fill all the energy needs of any household or office building for the cost of a magazine subscription.

AND the reactor can produce any type of metal, plastic, or cloth.

Ladies and gentlemen, this changes everything.
Oil, coal, and hydroelectric power (dams) are no longer needed.
The wars over oil are no longer needed.
Wars over resources are no longer needed.
You no longer need to send a check to your local power company.

No government could maintain excessive power.
With a little know how, anyone can produce any product for little money.
Five years from now, you'll need to work one month a year to maintain an average standard of living.

Now you can write that novel, play the piano, make friends, live an incredible life.
.

[Mounds]

A Canadian man was killed yesterday when a realization hit him like a ton of bricks. RCMP were called to the scene where twenty-seven year old Mounds had been crushed under the weight of his own good idea.

"All these years on the force and I've never seen anything like this. Light bulbs exploding above people's heads... sure... but never this.", said one traumatized offer. "After this call, I'm going straight to Winnipeg to pick up my son. No more university for him".

Experts say that metaphors are normally harmless but on occasion, they can manifest into reality... sometimes with grave results. Says Dr. Royster, "There's a reason we only use 10% of our brains and it's for our protection. This young man had unlocked parts of his brain that many people don't even know existed. Unfortunately, he was unprepared for what happened next."

RCMP would not disclose the nature of the thought but did comment that "a great mind is a terrible thing to get wasted by".

[roxyruby]

Good evening.

I'm Reporter RoxyRuby and this is the Evening Forum News. It has been disovered that the floods in Queensland, Australia, were actually all caused by one single overflowing toilet.

A plumber has been called to fix this embarassing issue.

And thats the news for this evening,

have a great night.

*Smiles pleasantly and then looks at and browses on a laptop as the lights fade*

[roxyruby]

Originally Posted by LostMyMap

If just one of these could be true....

Thank you to our intrepid reporter from Brisbane, RoxyRuby for all your insightful and up-to-the-minute news!

Who do you trust when it comes to news?

Who has top professional experience?

Who is the preferred news source of the World-Wide Internet community?

Come home....

to Reporter RoxyRuby.

5pm weekdays on Channel Forum.

[Plays With Life]

This just in: Some ducks walked in a circle on Main Street this morning. Traffic was stopped for 5-6 minutes.

[royster]

Originally Posted by roxyruby

Good evening.

I'm Reporter RoxyRuby and this is the Evening Forum News. It has been disovered that the floods in Queensland, Australia, were actually all caused by one single overflowing toilet.

A plumber has been called to fix this embarassing issue.

And thats the news for this evening,

have a great night.

*Smiles pleasantly and then looks at and browses on a laptop as the lights fade*

I hope it wasn't our forum member Leaky Faucet.