Fart stories

[friend]

Describe a flatulent experience you had.

Here's mine:

7th grade, Mrs. Bartz' English class. I had to fart. You know how some times you just know you won't be able to pull off a silent one? Needing to fart but getting desperate, I grabbed both sides of the chair and pulled down in an attempt to suppress the fart entirely. Next thing I know the pressure caused from my effort to smother the fart causes my ass to start squealing like a tea kettle. All of a sudden everything stops and the entire class starts looking around for the smuggled piglet in the room.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to play it off by looking around like everyone else as if they wouldn't all notice the veins popping out of neck from desperately trying to close the valve. After about 8 seconds I realized that I couldn't do it and eventually had to let go releasing the loudest ass rumble I have ever had. Not one of my best moments.

[Wax Frog]

Why would I want to fart stories when it's easier just to type them out?