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12-17-2010, 01:09 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
  |  New Winter "Holiday" Winter Potlatch - Instead of complaining about Christmas, and trying to educate people about 'Festivous', I propose a NEW winter 'Holiday'. It is three weeks past Christmas, when we really need bright lights and the smell of cookies baking. Because the truth is, those of us who live in cold climates are enduring SEVERE PMS for weeks-on-end at about that time. It's also just before the first bills arrive from Christmas spending. I am open for any name suggestions for the holiday, but Winter Potlatch is what I have come up with. I even started writing the first Potlatch Carol! Sniffling? Wipe your snot-hatch - It's time for Winter Potlatch! So cold that eggs will not-hatch~ Cookies? Just made a hot-batch!! |
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12-17-2010, 01:33 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Truth In Advertising
This is an HONEST holiday...no need to lie or skirt around issues; tell it like it is. It's winter, the car battery is dead and the sun has hidden behind clouds for a record 47 days. "Potlatch" is a gathering to exchange wealth, to share and celebrate life. Winter Potlatch will be to also share complaints, grievences and hardships, but no one is to take it too seriously. The fact remains that the roads haven't been plowed for two weeks, so the mail isn't getting through; those checks you wrote might just as well be in the freezer compartment of a SubZero refrigerator. To conserve on firewood, we've burned all the Christmas cards, the tree, and attempted to throw the neighbor in there, too, but they were just too spry. It's probably a good idea to make this an alcohol-free event, because NO ONE is going to be looking too good, and all will be smelling quite ripe. Perhaps the official drink of the Potlatch should be chocolate. In any form. Quote:
Last edited by royster; 12-17-2010 at 01:36 PM. | |
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12-17-2010, 10:03 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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From another forum, Mugwort adds... "I think one of the main purposes of your proposed holiday should be simply dealing with the effects of COLD. This can be a matter of serious concern. In my dictionary, there are ten meanings of the word, including "sexually frigid" and "lacking ardour or friendliness". Reason No. 6 is "dead." Now, that could be serious if you have friends and close relatives. Hypothermia is the moment when your butt starts to freeze, and is a condition that can eventually reach Reason No. 6. Happily, one of the best ways of dealing with a person suffering hypothermia is to take off his/her clothes, put him/her in a sleeping bag or bed and then take off your own clothes and jump into bag or bed. According to First Aid info, this direct approach can warm the subject without causing incidental harm...unless, of course, the person or the person's spouse objects to the process. Whatever happens should have a warming effect, however. In recognition of this, I suggest that whenever possible a large bed should be part of the festivities, into which the maximum feasible number of shivering partiers is inserted. There must be strict rules, of course, such as ruling out the eating of crackers. Happy Potlatching!" This e-mail from Fred... Of course, in the good old days, when people took it seriously, a man who invited his friends to a potlatch would kill some of his slaves just to show how festive it was. I don't have any slaves, or any children who could fill in, and I am not going to drive my beloved Prius off a cliff just for entertainment. So there! I am all for chocolate refreshments, and I am about to have some right here, right now. It will be such a joy when the gladsome Yuletide is over for another year. Maybe we could celebrate Feb 1, the date I retired in 1982, or Feb 2, Ayn Rand's birthday, or Feb 4, Oscar de la Hoya's birthday. The days would be getting observably longer by then. |
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12-18-2010, 11:02 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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Via e-mail: "I see I am not the only one who has opted to make Christmas anything but the "usual obligatory fare". No tree. No decorations. No wrapping gifts. I bought. I spent more this year than usual..but I have been able to think more abundantly, and the money I saved on the hundreds of dollars of baking ingredients (to bake out ten batches of ten different cookies and hand out trays to everyone who just has grown to expect but not appreciate the work and money involved) so I was able to get my daughter more meaningful gifts this year. This alone, made the season. Not having to budget what I spend on gifts in my household, because of all the money going out the window to everyone we hardly see or talk to all year..in cookies cost. (and the time I have saved, is being spent creating in a way that is therapeutic, rather than...you guessed it..deadlined and life-draining.) No pressure or deadlines, since the decorating, baking and wrapping is not happening this year. I shop online and as a package comes..whoever it is for..gets that item that day. No waiting. I can't believe it took me this long to claim my personal Holiday power...but what is important is that I am this year, and Christmas will never again, be the same for me.  Not hanging up stockings has saved me the daily (sometimes several times a day) harassment that comes from a boxer and a Doberman that KNOW there's something good hanging in there and want some NOW. (of course, it is cute to make Duke say "ho ho ho" just to get a treat out of said stocking..lol) I am approaching my 39th Christmas, and this is the first one since about age 4 or 5, that I can recall actually having a sense of peace inward, for the month of December. I would recommend anyone and everyone take at least one or two of the obligatory "must do"s off their list and see if it can make their December a bit brighter. ;-) My mother in law has been doing the mid january get together instead of christmas, for about three years now. She just don't get why I do not go..she just keeps adjusting her date, thinking that I will run out of "excuses". (because being post surgically wrapped from carpal tunnel is no excuse to not bake..because sitting in a adult diaper hemorhagging is no excuse to miss a wedding...etc.) Those are the reasons why when I am feeling great, the last place I will be, is a party she has not invited me to..but ambushed me into being obligated to attend. Yep! December suicide rates go through the roof, because of people like my Mother in Law. NO understanding. NO compassion. NO anything but reading the riot act to anyone who does not comply by her holiday choreography of what is picture perfect scenario to annoy her friends with. (as they compete to see who's family loves them more..and force us all to pose in "you are the martyr of the century" poses with her.) This is not judgement toward my mother in law..but she is a prime example of how the brainwashing and consumerism has taken something that once was a spiritual event and turned it into a frenzy of obligation dubbed "tradition". AHhhhhh. Yep This is the first December I have actually enjoyed in 35 years or so. Now the only question remains. "What the hell was I waiting for?" " |
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12-18-2010, 01:35 PM
| #6 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Givin' you The Bird! As TURKEYS are the "official" BIRD of Christmas, I propose that the 1957 Thunderbird be the OFFICIAL "Bird" of Winter Potlatch. Amos Minter's Thunderbirds Quote:
Last edited by royster; 12-18-2010 at 01:37 PM. | |
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12-18-2010, 06:07 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Oh! Oh! Oh!
It is perfectly permissible to steal ideas during the Potlatch season, and in lieu of that, we need to rip-off the idea of Santa. I have the PERFECT spokes-individual for the job. He's obscure yet known, mysterious yet familiar, and in all probability, scattered about sufficiently to represent Potlatch. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you... SANTANA CLAWS Since Dick Cheney has the fireplace all plugged up with his own comings-and-goings, Santana Claws will have to access your house by other orifices...possibly the drain of the kitchen, which I, incidently, am replacing today due to frozen pipes. Since cookies are the currency-exchange, Santana Claws leave his cookies. His side-kick, Carlos, does SOMETHING. Hey; it's a new holiday...gimmee a break. |
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12-19-2010, 12:11 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[QUOTE=royster;780642]As TURKEYS are the "official" BIRD of Christmas, I propose that the 1957 Thunderbird be the OFFICIAL "Bird" of Winter Potlatch. A properly-prepared Bird is essential for the 16 days of Winter Potlatch, and baby, I ain't makin' this up.  First, you must choose which bird you choose to present: the '57 Ford or the Alice Cooper Billion-Dollar-Baby with linguini sauce. NEVER FLIP YOUR BIRD: it can either cave in the roof or put the baby in control. DECIDE WHO YOU GIVE THE BIRD TO - not many will appreciate a '57 Ford, particularly with a caved-in roof full of linguini sauce. Focus is important; otherwise, stuff looks blurry. Last edited by royster; 12-19-2010 at 12:14 PM. |
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12-20-2010, 05:59 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| An Unknown Passing Of Gass As we need to steal ideas from Christmas, we need a dead person to honor. Gass Dumfart is one such observation we make at this time of year, though he died in Spring. His passing went unnoticed (by way of a silencer) and his spirit drifts among us, still. He certainly had an "air" about him. You are invited to write songs about him. "Silent Plight" comes to mind. |
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12-21-2010, 12:30 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| You Bet Uranus! WOW! My "new" holiday is catching on! Visitors from all over are buying "Winter Potlatch" cards! I have been informed that the idea isn't mine and it isn't new; Winter Potlatch is observed on no fewer than 1,973 planets, world-wide. |
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12-21-2010, 06:56 AM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Now your LIFE depends on Winter Potlatch! MORE REASONS TO AVOID CHRISTMAS AND HOLD OUT FOR WINTER POTLATCH: YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT... A new U.S. analysis of mortality rates during different times of year found that people are more likely to die during the holidays — notably on Christmas and New Year’s Day — and researchers cannot explain the yearly spike. After analyzing all official United States death certificates over the 25-year period between 1979 and 2004, a trio of sociologists identified an excess of 42,325 natural deaths — that is, above and beyond the normal seasonal winter increase — in the two weeks starting with Christmas. In the article in the journal Social Science & Medicine, researchers David Phillips, Gwendolyn Barker and Kimberly Brewer report that mortality in general rises during the Christmas season. Deaths in a hospital setting increase tremendously on the holidays themselves. More people die in hospital emergency wards, or arrive dead on arrival, on Christmas, Boxing Day and New Year’s Day than on any other days of the year. “It’s not trivial,” said Mr. Phillips, a professor of sociology at the University of California at San Diego. “We looked at all cause categories and, for nearly every one, we found an excess of deaths — particularly for people who are dying rapidly, like dead-on-arrival or dying in the emergency department.” In general, Mr. Phillips said the team’s analysis of some 57.5-million death certificates shows the chance of dying during this holiday period increases “somewhere between 3% and 9%, depending on the demographic group you’re looking at, and somewhere between 1% and 10%, depending on what cause of death you’re looking at.” Less clear are the reasons behind this fatal phenomenon. Read more: Christmas the deadliest day of the year: study | Posted | National Post NOTE THAT THERE ISN'T ONE DEATH DIRECTLY ATTRIBUTED TO WINTER POTLATCH! NOT ONE!!! Last edited by royster; 12-21-2010 at 06:58 AM. |
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12-25-2010, 05:59 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| AND NOW FOR THE BEST PART OF "WINTER POTLATCH"~ as of tomorrow, it's DIRT CHEAP! That's right, all that leftover Christmas crap is half-price or better! Stock up, three weeks is a short time! Gee, will YOUR friends be impressed when YOU show up with HUNDREDS OF COOKIES and CHOCOLATE GALORE!!! |
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12-25-2010, 09:55 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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bzpal from another forum: "I don't like to rain on anyone's parade, but I purposely try not to get caught up in the Christmas furor since I found out that it's really a pagan holiday and has nothing to do with the actual birth of Christ.... the lying Christian founders just wanted to change the focus to their own propaganda, and destroy everything "other." I would fully support a non-denominational "World Peace" day or something that honors ALL religions, or even natural events such as the Solstices or Equinoxes... but never again "celebrate" a holiday created by a religion that lies about them. Easter is the same way. We should find a way to have that joyous, giving, "feel good" spirit all year round, not just during the consumption driven holidays. Having said that: Peace on Earth and Good Will to ALL!" |
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12-26-2010, 03:45 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: France
Posts: 6,053
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Is there a chance we rename the holiday Gulash? Or at least the second day of the Winter Potlatch? And we could sing: Gulash, Gulash dear friends We all love some happy ends Let's then sing and dance and carol For the best of our fellows! There should be some special costumes for these special days, like bright orange for example. This, in turn, will prevent many of the car accidents that happen during this time of the year. A special Gulash present could be orange diapers or orange pads  One never knows when they might need them!
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01-10-2011, 10:04 PM
| #19 (permalink) | ||
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
The local pagan community is seriously taking me up on Winter Potlatch, and I am happy about that. It will be right after Wymyn's Full Moon. I intend to do a ship-load of baking, procure two 50-pound bags of potatoes (to distribute) and see what the utmost level of tolerance for chocolate is. Quote:
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01-20-2011, 11:43 PM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| WINTER POTLATCH STARTS FRIDAY! FESTIVITIES BEGIN WITH "THE THREE DAYS OF GOULASH"! We don't HAVE 'Santa Claus', but we do have a guy who likes to go into dark holes and leave 'presents'. It's been a heated debate about when he comes, but during POTLATCH, we incorporate the Kokopelli Clause, which stipulates that you can pretty much get away with anything as long as it doesn't hurt people or get goats pregnant. In lieu of this information, we're not sure if "goulash" is a sound-affect or casserole dish...or them plastic shoes you wear in the rain. WHO CARES!? WE GOT YOUR GOAT! Last edited by royster; 01-20-2011 at 11:50 PM. |
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11-27-2011, 05:26 AM
| #24 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: on God's beautiful earth, in heaven :), & you?
Posts: 1,341
| Quote:
 sigh Last edited by sk8joyful; 11-27-2011 at 07:31 AM. | |
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11-27-2011, 06:59 PM
| #26 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: on God's beautiful earth, in heaven :), & you?
Posts: 1,341
|  Quote:
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11-27-2011, 08:26 PM
| #27 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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Thanks for your kindness. Virtually all of that stuff changed for the better. In fact, I have not had to work since April and really am enjoying life, though rolling with its punches just like everyone else. I have very little to complain about: I've been blessed abundantly. I don't think complaining did it, though: this was pretty much in the cards for me, I just couldn't have conceived it. My worst rant is on the other Christmas thread, but that's not so much rant as it is points-to-consider in respects to mental/spiritual maintenance. I have nothing to sell or any agenda to "win", and as i said, certainly nothing to complain about. Corporate America starts the Christmas retail season earlier and earlier every year. This year they started mid-October. THEY have something to sell. JFTR, I'm an Indigo transforming into Octarine: we're USED to not being understood, and marching to our own drum often confuses people. (Visualise Steve Martin in "The Jerk") Many kind regards~ Roy Last edited by royster; 11-27-2011 at 09:45 PM. |
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11-28-2011, 12:12 AM
| #28 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: on God's beautiful earth, in heaven :), & you?
Posts: 1,341
| Quote:
Good for you Opting-OUT of Xmas-madness. like I said in my Rep And how exactly have you been Abundantly blessed: do share... | |
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11-28-2011, 02:49 AM
| #29 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
My mother also left me her very nice car, which I drove cross-country from Los Angeles to Virginia...what a cool trip that was, despite the circumstances. I won't need to buy a new car for quite some time. So I have been doing things I could never ever dream about before. I also am able to be more generous: something I'd always wanted to do, but couldn't afford much. | |
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11-28-2011, 07:31 PM
| #30 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: on God's beautiful earth, in heaven :), & you?
Posts: 1,341
| Quote:
The inheritance both my bio-parents left me, was their 1. Abandonment: at my birth, & at age13 when again we met. & 2. Forcing me to work full-time at age 15. - And yet, I was the only sibling (of 4) who wanted my parents to continue living... for LIFE is *precious* I too was Richly-blessed, in ways most people don't even realize. PRAISE God! Last edited by sk8joyful; 11-28-2011 at 07:33 PM. | |
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