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10-27-2010, 08:16 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
 |  Ignore Garrick
This thread is specially designated for the purpose of me not having any attention paid to me. I'll say whatever I want and all you have to do is not care. Anyway, I had an idea for a play today. It'd be an old-school two-man affair. The characters would be a police detective and a Catholic priest he is interrogating. The interrogation would be in regards to a situation which the priest was just in that involved an enigmatic fellow and a confession booth. I might decide to write this as a short story rather than a play depending on how it flows. I'm leaning more towards a short story because I'm not sure if it's long enough to be a play. I might tell you more but I'm not yet sure of how to throw it all together just yet. I really want to build the tension rather than just making a statement. I hope I pull this off as I have an older friend back in New York who'd get a real kick out of seeing me write something. Especially something with a priest. Some other very different ideas of mine are for comedy sketches. Although most of my ideas for them have a somewhat macabre edge, I had one today that's pretty harmless. It would involve an employee of some absurd company watching youtube videos or playing flash games and then getting chewed out by his boss for doing reports or typing spreadsheets or something. I know that doesn't sound very funny but it's one of those things that would rely heavily on the performers to come into its own. Another non-morbid sketch I have in mind would be a cheerful little shot at pro wrestling. I won't mention it here though as it's another one that'd be better to see than read of. I do have a pro wrestling idea that would be fun to read about, though. I'll write about it later. |
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10-27-2010, 10:07 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
| Quote:
Of course, we are both younger than James Garrick, the original Garrick the Younger who was the real-life actor the fictional Duke was impersonating. Also, he must have been younger than some other Garrick since he was distinguishing himself as "the Younger" in the first place. Long story short, New Garrick is my brother. Sort of. | |
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10-28-2010, 12:35 AM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
| Quote:
I don't have time for a long post now but here's another idea for a sketch. I call it "The Men". It would involve three white guys in suits discussing who they were going to keep down next and one of them would want to keep down the white people just for a change of pace. The other two wouldn't like him very much. | |
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I thought I just saw his face somewhere here...
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10-29-2010, 06:04 AM
| #9 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
| Garrick gets thrashed Quote:
Now back to the show! Today I thought I'd write up a list of the most iconic beatings I've taken in my career as a martial artist. I've been getting smacked around since about 1996 and I'd love to share the wealth. As some of you may know, I started with Jujitsu. My teachers were very big on technique and finesse so I didn't really ever take much of a thumping. For that I had to go to seminars. At a Daito-aikiryu seminar I attended, I was trounced by a certain Sensei G who has the most explosive power I've seen in a Jujitsu practitioner. With some deft footwork and a lot of torque, he reduced me to a heap of pajamas and the thought, "So that's what Jujitsu feels like." My second great beating was at the hands of a lady aikido practitioner I'll call Sensei M. She was visiting the dojo for a seminar and had a knack for multiplying her force by first moving me one way and at the exact right time changing direction so as to almost snap my body like a whip. Since I was already up, I served as her de facto visual aid for the night. If I had known, I would have worn a new uniform so as to break it in. Seriously, those things are like sandpaper. My third was entirely brought on by my own doing. I had moved on from Jujitsu and was training Hung Gar under Sifu K. He liked to give a quick lecture at the end of class and discuss what we had learned. That one night he was talking about tiger claws. I was new and asked, "What's a tiger claw?" He then showed me. For those of you unfamiliar with the hallmark techniques of Southern Shaolin Kung Fu, I will briefly go into the tiger claw. You see, back in ancient China someone decided Jujitsu-style joint locks were difficult to apply against a skilled opponent and leave you dangerously exposed. So they eventually decided, "Hey what if I just grabbed really hard?" Thus was born the tiger claw. Methods of training for it include but are not limited to carrying heavy jars by the openings, doing push-ups on your fingers and jabbing them into dried beans. The fourth story is an honorable mention. My current teacher (Sifu E) doesn't actually go any farther than showing me how a certain technique works but he likes to pull a strike right before contact to illustrate his points. Because of this, he has come within inches of hospitalizing me so many times that he gets his honorable mention. Everyone should have a hobby  Last edited by Old Garrick; 10-29-2010 at 06:08 AM. | |
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10-29-2010, 01:22 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |||
| Retired Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,662
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10-29-2010, 03:21 PM
| #12 (permalink) | ||
| Family Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Funny location joke
Posts: 2,056
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YouTube - Kids in the Hall - Never Put Salt in Your Eyes | ||
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10-29-2010, 03:28 PM
| #13 (permalink) | ||
| Retired Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,662
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REMIX!! | ||
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10-30-2010, 12:32 AM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
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Today, I'm writing up an idea for a sketch. What's great about it is that it was inspired by this very forum. So with no further ado, here's a draft. Needs work but I'm just writing it as I go. The setting is a forest clearing. Sitting in the center of the clearing is a man with a New Age vibe and long hair. He's sitting in a lotus position with his hands in that okay-sign mudra yogis like so much. New Age Guy: Oooooooommm... Suddenly, an ethereal mist coalesces. Out of it stride two figures, one wearing a lot of costume jewelry and the other wearing a buckskin jacket. They are Mardukshamhat the Atlantean warrior and Roaring Trout the great shaman respectively. Roaring Trout: My son, through your dedication and spiritual attainment you have been deemed worthy to become our student. Mardukshamhat: We are your spirit guides, here to guide you on your sacred journey. New Age Guy: Elders, I am grateful beyond words for your tutelage. What would you have me do? Mardukshamhat: Your own enlightenment is great and it is time for you to spread truth to others. Roaring Trout: So, you must go on the Great Net and seek out a man called Buseyfan666. New Age Guy: Yes elders, I will do as you have instructed. Roaring Trout: Then call him a fag. New Age Guy: Excuse me, what? Mardukshamhat: Your journey will be long and illusive. At times our instructions will not be immediately clear. Roaring Trout: Then when he calls you a fag, tell him, "your mom." Don't elaborate on that. Just send him lots of emails saying, "your mom". Mardukshamhat: Our ways are mysterious and our wisdom profound. Heed us and you will be a great sage. New Age Guy: I have faith, elders but this seems crude and immature. Can I not counsel or discuss with him in rational fashion? Roaring Trout: Only after you've peeled his skin off. New Age Guy: I... I... must have misheard that. Mardukshamhat: You mishear nothing. All that is said is heard and all misheard is not unsaid. The sacred eye within the ear discerns and echoes the meaning best suited for you. Roaring Trout: Now go forth, my son and spread the wisdom across the Great Net. New Age Guy: Surely- Mardukshamhat: Heed us. Roaring Trout: Do it. Marduskshamhat: Yes, do it. Roaring Trout: Do it, faggot, New Age Guy: Excuse me?! Mardukshamhat: The path of truth is fraught with conflict which is a part of all things. If you do not understand it how can you accomplish the true truth? New Age Guy: I... I think I see. I will seek the truth of conflict. Thank you elders. Roaring Trout: Today marks the true beginning of your quest. We will come again when the time is right. New Age Guy: [Bows and leaves] Mardukshamhat: Well, that was easy. Roaring Trout: Yes, next let's get one with Xbox Live. |
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10-30-2010, 12:41 AM
| #16 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Funny location joke
Posts: 2,056
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10-30-2010, 01:59 AM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Volcano :P
Posts: 2,161
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10-30-2010, 02:10 AM
| #20 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Volcano :P
Posts: 2,161
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I found the whole club of Garricks!!! Just for you!Enjoy! Welcome to The Garrick Club  | |
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10-30-2010, 02:13 AM
| #21 (permalink) | |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
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Oh, that naughty Marduk (my memory's so good it scares me; I'd seen this crap only once, decades ago, and yet still remembered it had a villain named Marduk! )...[For the record: my memory also glommed onto "Gichin Funakoshi", as I did have a brief fling with MA in the early 90s, and did a bit of reading on the subject...] Last edited by Wax Frog; 10-30-2010 at 02:17 AM. | |
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10-30-2010, 02:23 AM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
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Another kung fu flick I'll never forget, due to what apparently is a shared favorite movie line (it wouldn't have been 1/10th as cool minus the Aussie(?) accent)! YouTube - FORCE : FIVE * Triumph of the Five |
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10-30-2010, 02:25 AM
| #24 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Volcano :P
Posts: 2,161
| Quote:
Dont tell everyone our secret of 5's!lol | |
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10-30-2010, 02:27 AM
| #25 (permalink) | |
| Legendary Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Going from Somewhere to Elsewhere
Posts: 10,374
| Quote:
Where's the Aussie/Kiwi board members, I want to tease some Aussie/Kiwi board members! "Thenk God fah Bleck an' Dickah!" | |
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10-30-2010, 03:03 AM
| #26 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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Not that I'm paying any attention to anything but this interesting naval lint up here. Uh...I mean...down here. | |
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10-30-2010, 02:51 PM
| #28 (permalink) | ||||
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
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Because of this, I am now adding a new feature to this thread. It will be a scoreboard for the nationalities people have mistaken me for. Here goes: Canadian: 6 incidents Irish: 4 " Aussie: 2 " Russian: 1" Ukrainian: 1" Because I think it's hilarious when people mistake me for random European nations, I'm going to a Diwali festival tomorrow at which I will talk to lots of people I haven't met yet. I'll post any new incidents afterward. Quote:
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10-31-2010, 04:25 AM
| #29 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Don't misundertake my mistakes about it. ~ G.W.Bush
I think the heart of the problem has nothing to DO with "unusual testosterone levels"...this has been going on for years. And the fact that the Republicans are using this against the Teabaggots is an unfair accusation. It's also brewism at its worst. Why Pekoe N. Sepulveda is even RUNNING in this campaign...when he could just m-o-s-e-y on over, proves how rediculous those claims are. We have exposed these people time and again. It's disgusting. So we decided to let them put their clothes back ON and they're STILL griping about "Prosthetics cleansing", as if the Hobblons were some sort of threat. They aren't. They're just doing what they can, for crying in a bucket! |
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11-01-2010, 05:45 AM
| #30 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
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I had a funny day today. Turns out I'm auditioning for a Leo Fong movie and voicing a video game character. I found out about both of these this morning. For the record, it's not a big-time video game. I'll just be providing two lines for a guy in Drift Legends 2. Fun times. |
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