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06-10-2011, 08:49 PM
| #121 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
  |  Well Blow Me Down! ~ Popeye JUNE CONTINUES TO BLOW! AND BLOW HARD!! BLOWING A TUNE OR BLOWING BUBBLES, NO ONE CAN RESIST THE URGE to take a walk down memory lane with BAZOOKA JOE and his pal PUD! MANY FROM MY GENERATION LIKED "PUD" SO MUCH, WE NAMED SOMETHING CLOSE TO US "PUD"!!  YESSIR, ALTHOUGH MORE THAN ONE CENT EACH, THESE Li'l wads of gum give you CHEWING SATISFACTION, COMICS, AND A FORTUNE!! AND DON'T FORGET...YOU COULD GET A PUD EVENT!! 200 REP POINTS for a box of 100 Last edited by royster; 06-10-2011 at 08:52 PM. |
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06-10-2011, 08:55 PM
| #122 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| dispicably DISHONEST ROYSTER'S CASINOand banana lounge BIRTHDAY BLOW-UP EXTRAVAGANZADISCLAIMER: does not mean "explosion" type of blow up, or "I got mad and BOY! DID I BLOW UP!" nor does it imply the means necessary to enable a portable personal companion. THE CASINO RE-OPENS SATURDAY after extensive cleaning AND IT HAPPENS TO BE ROYSTER'S BIRTHDAY! BE THERE FOR THE INFESTIVITIES! [boink!] Pin The Blame On The Jack Ass~ sorry, no Republicans allowed at this event. Prizes include [fill in the blank] [boink!] Spin The Bottle Of Fortune DISCLAIMER: you can imagine [boink!] FREE PERSONALISED CAKES of soap FOR THE DIRTIEST CONTESTANTS IN *MUD WRESTLING!! [Boinger} oops...our sound affects is not worling wryt and ta seems theb oard things not coperating neithertoo *Where HAS that girl been??? Last edited by royster; 06-10-2011 at 09:07 PM. |
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06-10-2011, 09:22 PM
| #123 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Announcing! NOW YOU CAN REDEEM YOUR POINTS AT THE NEAREST BUTTUX DEPARTMENT STORES! You can ALWAYS TELL when someone's been to Buttux Department Stores: there's just a LOOK about them. We call it "THE BUTTUX LOOK". AND NOW YOU CAN REDEEM REP POINTS AT THE BUTTUX NEAREST YOU! WE'VE MANAGED TO RENT A SMALL ROOM ON THE SIDE OF THE STORES FOR SOMEWHAT-EASY ACCESS. VOUCHERS FROM THE CASINO ARE NOT REDEEMABLE...anywhere...BUT YOUR REP POINTS WILL BE HONORED AT BUTTUX. BUTTUX DEPARTMENT STORES~ THERE'S A BUTTUX NEAR YOU! DISCLAIMER: BUTTUX is in no way, shape or form associated with BULLOX deprtment stores. Last edited by royster; 06-10-2011 at 09:28 PM. |
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06-11-2011, 02:40 PM
| #124 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| dispicably DISHONEST ROYSTER'S CASINOand car wash BIRTHDAY BLOW-UP EXTRAVAGANZADISCLAIMER: "Blow Up"...NOT as in: GEE, I'd like to BLOW UP this photo of Madanna! Or "Shut UP or BLOW UP!" Nor does it refer to any personal session with Muhkoochi VanHootchy. FREE SLOTS, ALL DAY! CLARIFICATION: No, NOT Jolene and her two half-sisters. CAKE PROVIDED BY FEDERER EXPRESS FREE DRAWINGS HOURLY! HERE'S ONE, NOW!  A reminder of the "Slugs In Slots" incident... Jon Tore's drawing appears with permission from the artist NO SPANKINGS WITHOUT BUILDING PERMIT Last edited by royster; 06-11-2011 at 02:53 PM. |
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06-11-2011, 03:22 PM
| #125 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Birthday Blow-out Continues! FREE ZAMBONI CHANNELINGS ALL DAY! THIS HOUR: ZAMBONI CHANNELS THE TEACHINGS OF FATHER GUIDO SARDUCCI JUST FOR THE PAVLINA ARTISTS GROUP! YouTube - ‪Father Guido Sarducci on art school‬‏ ZAMBONI channels Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday" YouTube - ‪Happy Birthday Mr. President‬‏ AND THE RAMONES YouTube - ‪Ramones - Happy Birthday (Simpsons)‬‏ Last edited by royster; 06-11-2011 at 03:56 PM. |
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06-11-2011, 10:01 PM
| #126 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Zamboni: Skating On Thin Ice? ZAMBONI'S ASTROLOGICAL READING FOR TODAY...JUST FOR ROYSTER (and beeonne) Born June 11 - Your Year Ahead Your ability to live in the here and now is stronger than usual, and this benefits many life "departments". However, there can be some tendency towards self-deception in matters of the heart this year. Communications and learning are solid, and this is an excellent year in which to take on formal studies or training. The major keys to success this year are patience and practicality. more If You Were Born Today, June 11 You think and move quickly and often dramatically. Highly intelligent, you are always absorbing and processing information in some cases to the point of nervousness. It can be challenging to turn your mind off enough to relax at times. Some might describe you as a little eccentric--certainly highly original! Your beliefs are strong and you stand up for them with courage and conviction. You are also very security-conscious and dislike feeling indebted. Famous people born today: Jacques Cousteau, Gene Wilder, Richard Strauss, Shia LaBeouf, Hugh Laurie. FREE ZAMBONI ASTROLOGY READINGS: If Today is Your Birthday FREE CASINO GAMES-SATURDAY ONLY! Free online casino & slot games - All casino games, fruitmachines and video slots Classic Gamester - Simple and free one-armed bandit fruitmachine for children HERE'S ONE SATISFIED PERSON'S TESTIMONY: Quote:
Last edited by royster; 06-11-2011 at 10:27 PM. | |
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06-11-2011, 11:40 PM
| #127 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| announcing...Royster~Cocksure Point-Blank Investments [Wistful, tinkling piano music] (This is not to imply that pianos are capable of producing urine...that would would require surgically attaching a woodpecker) Points. YOUR hard-earned points. Point-grubbing unscrupilous individuals may try to take them from you with NEG-REPS, or some other means of Points~fraud. [rolling piano music]This isn't to imply it's producing marijuana cigarettes, or GOD FORBID some other illegal piano activity) But WHERE can you poke your points for them to grow? [fruit-of-the-loom flute flutter] And flourish?? [another flute trill] [Industious tuba music] Yes, ALL THROUGH THE AGES people have struggled with PROTECTING THEIR PRIVATE POINTS. Eve [Inna Godda Da veddah music] was the first to realise the importance of wise points management. Well, Adam, since we're being evicted, let's at least take these REP POINTS the Snake gave us and invest them. AND SO CAME THE DAWN OF POINTS INVESTING. Make it a point to point your points in the right direction. This points to Royster~Cocksure Point-Blank Investments and adult video rentals. Watch your points grow! [bulging music] [climax] [smoking] Last edited by royster; 06-11-2011 at 11:59 PM. |
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06-12-2011, 01:48 AM
| #128 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Grind Finally On behalf of Zamboni, ZephyrusX's cat, the Casino employees and Royster, a huge THANK YOU for your participation at the REDEMPTION CENTER CELEBRATION. We now summons this cosmic message in the HUNKA-HUNKA-BURNIN' LOVE LOUNGE as our Grand Finale. YouTube - ‪Shiny Happy People Lyrics‬‏ [ANNOUNCEMENT OVER THE SPEAKERS:] Will the owner of a 1958 Studebaker please remove it from the septic field? Unusual urinal activity is stressing the septic system, and the Studebaker is expasperating the situation. >FSST< My personal THANKS to those who took up a collection for my gift: a year's supply of Depend 'adult undergarments'~royster YouTube - ‪Julie Brown as Sharon Stone - Depends Ad‬‏ peace, dawg! Last edited by royster; 06-12-2011 at 02:04 AM. |
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06-14-2011, 04:31 AM
| #129 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
YES, IT'S (owwwww) THURTUNLY THUMPTHING THEW ETHPECTHTED, THOUGH NUTHINGTH (ah...that's better) YOU THOTH WOOD GEFF FOR FREE. IT AWIVES IN THE MOWNIN WIFF MUSH PWEZYOU AN GRAT(OW!) TI (OW!) TUDE (OW!!!) | |
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06-15-2011, 02:18 AM
| #130 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| ...it might be time for collar i.d.
the "points" REDEMPTION CENTER's WE'RE LOSING OUR ASS~OVER-STOCK SALE! TOO MUCH INVENTORY WAS ORDERED BECAUSE WE GOT IT DIRT CHEAP TO MAKE HUGE PROFITS! Oh...wait...did we just SHOUT that? crap... PRICES SO LOWER-CASE WE CAN'T ADVERTISE THEM BUT WE WILL... RUSH LIMBAUGH PEZ DISPENSERS -work with oxycontin! (not included) ANN COULTER BIBLES who NEEDS the book of Revelations, anyway? BONUS! comes with oxycontinuedlater MADONNA-SHAPED RIVER RAFTS! never be up a river on a lonely night again! Comes with Prince's cd "Delierious" LADY GAGA GOOGOO GAY-GAY GOGO SHORTS! SHE likes short-shorts! ALL SALES PRETTY CONCLUSIVE. PLEASE DON'T CALL FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN WE HAVE GPS's FOR SALE THAT YOU SHOULDA BOUGHT. Last edited by royster; 06-15-2011 at 02:30 AM. |
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06-15-2011, 06:42 AM
| #131 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,955
| Quote:
Eye Iz veated out ere' in dis Kold for fwar dayz for thaht?! | |
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06-16-2011, 07:16 PM
| #132 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| New Shipment! KITCHEN WITCHES, STEP ASIDE! HIDDEN ENDOWMENT BULGING FROM EVERY CORNER!  These figurines may be "Barbie-esque", but at night, when you're...you know...doing other things instead of washing the dishes, this little imp-in-disguise springs forth to accomplish domestic chores while YOU make...uh...other stuff happen. A COMPLETELY FALSE CLAIM, but that hasn't stopped you before! 600 rep points each, plus mysterious shipping and REALLY STIMULATING HANDLING! Last edited by royster; 06-17-2011 at 03:35 AM. |
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06-16-2011, 10:13 PM
| #133 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Post Of The Month Award Eye Iz veated out ere' in dis Kold for fwar dayz for thaht?! The "points" REDEMPTION CENTER would like to recognise midnite for an outstanding and tedious piece o' work that has contributed to the well-being of sick and strangulated minds alike. 450-1/2.3 REP POINTS have been granted to midnite's account. THAT'S JUST ENOUGH TO PURCHACE ONE OF THESE COLORED WALL PLAQUES! Quote:
Last edited by royster; 06-17-2011 at 03:36 AM. | |
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06-17-2011, 03:28 AM
| #134 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| JUNE CONTINUES TO BLOW! YouTube - ‪Lauren Bacall Whistle‬‏ YES, FEW KNOW HOW TO BLOW...OR EVEN BLOW PROPERLY! BOGART DOES A GREAT JOB OF IT. BUT NOTHING BLOWS LIKE AN AUTHENTIC WEINER WHISTLE!  FOR SOME REASON, THEY'RE REALLY IN DEMAND THIS JUNE...AND THE REDEMPTION CENTER HAS PLENTY IN STOCK! FRANKLY, THERE'S NO BALONEY ABOUT THESE "BEACONS OF HOT-DOGGIA". 8 to a pack for 150 REP POINTS. Last edited by royster; 06-17-2011 at 03:35 AM. |
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06-17-2011, 04:21 AM
| #135 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Tired Of June Blowing? IT'S TIME TO STOP BLOWING, AND JUST SUCK UP!  While it's TRUE that many people think a "HOOKAH" is a prostitute in Boston, it's actually a sucking device!Wait...so is a prostitute in Boston... And OUR hookahs ah theahfo not freay, but 600 Rehhp Points. ACCOMODATES ALL TOBACCOS, AND STUFFING FROM "VOUCHER VINNEY" dolls. Last edited by royster; 06-17-2011 at 04:26 AM. |
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06-18-2011, 02:41 AM
| #136 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Blew By You THE DAY AFTER JUNE 42nd IS OF COURSE THE FOURTH OF JULY! WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE THAN PLASTIC FLAGS, MADE IN CHINA!? PLASTIC is a PETROLIUM PRODUCT. YOU CAN'T GET MUCH MORE "PATRIOTIC" THAN THAT!!! ONCE THE BLOWING OF JUNE HAS ENDED, WE BECOME "BLOWN"...SO BUCK UP FOR THE GREAT RED, WHITE and BLOWN SALE!!! NOTHING BELLOWS "PATRIOTISM" LOUDER THAN PLASTIC FLAGS MADE IN CHINA! EXCEPT 'MONSTER TRUCK' ANNOUNCERS, and we aren't selling those. Be the LIFE of the PARTY by waving your flag while reciting the Declaration Of Independance with one, long, beer-induced belch! Your friends will be...well, they'll react, for sure. 1,000 per package for a MEER 123.7 REP POINTS! YOU CAN USE THEM AS TOOTHPICKS FOR CHEESE OR BLOW DARTS!  DISCLAIMER: "BLOW DARTS" is contrary to a BLOWN sale. That just sucks, we admit it. Last edited by royster; 06-18-2011 at 03:10 AM. |
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06-18-2011, 05:54 AM
| #137 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| What are you...some kind of PUNK!? Of all the punks in the world, here's what wikipedia says about what we're offering: Quote:
but our punks are so much more than smouldering sticks! Don't just "light your fuse" with any old fire...USE A PUNK! They also SMELL GOOD so you can use them like insence!!! THERE'S ONLY ONE QUESTION YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF...."DO I FEEL LUCKY?" PACK OF PUNKS (quantities vary) 100 REP POINTS WELL DO YA, PUNK? Last edited by royster; 06-18-2011 at 06:01 AM. | |
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06-19-2011, 02:29 AM
| #138 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| [test marketing new product]
Introducing the all new 'psychic spray' exclusive to Montezuma's Travelling Show! One little bottle could send you soaring into the skies! Want to be a medium? No worries! Give it a squirt. Want to communicate with the dead? You came to the right place! Squirt away. Want to be freaked out by all kinds of wonderful ghoulies in the middle of the night? This is the day of your life! You're one squirt away. Want to- ... question from the crowd? Zamboni-endorsed? |
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06-19-2011, 02:46 AM
| #139 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Zamboni: A Clear Choice The Great Zamboni is away for a day or two to consult the Great Court Magistrate on marital affairs..."affairs" being the operative word...that and "court"...and will return when bail has been posted.  Meanwhile, popcorn is 50 rep points a bag. |
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06-19-2011, 04:17 AM
| #140 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| coming soon! Inflatable voo doo dolls! OH NO!!! I'M TOO LATE!!! YouTube - ‪The Inflatable Voodoo Dolls - I Hate Your Work‬‏ Last edited by royster; 06-19-2011 at 04:20 AM. |
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06-19-2011, 02:11 PM
| #141 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| a message from beyond Communications from Zamboni (via his lawyer) assure us he will return Monday for all you sidekick needs. Please be...huh?....oh!....PSYCHIC needs. Meanwhile, the popcorn machine has had its claw returned, thus making it more amusing to "bag a prize". Cost to operate the machine is 100 rep points. |
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06-20-2011, 03:58 AM
| #142 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Don't BLOW IT! THE FOURTH OF JULY RED, WHITE and BLOWN SALE!!! PATRIOTISM: IT'S NOTHING WITHOUT BLINDLY OBEDIENT SHEEP! AND EVERY SHEEP NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO THINK, ACT AND FEEL...BECAUSE THEY CAN'T DO IT ON THEIR OWN! SHEEPLE MAGAZINE SHOWS YOU HOW! 3 issues for 1776 PATRIOTIC REP POINTS! |
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06-20-2011, 01:47 PM
| #143 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Zamboni is passing this way again! Yes, coin holders and point redeemers: I have returned...(what am I sitting on? ...oh how I HATE these SpongeBob dolls!! And that claw up there keeps ****in' with my turbine!!) My high insights are available for 100 rep points per reading. And I ask that my business increases soon, because the casino managers are making plans to add an arcade, and I really don't want to hand out Scooby DOo DOo dolls with bags of popcorn. NOW, FOR 300 POINTS MORE: ZAMBONI DEALS BLACKJACK! I got some woof in here, too, if you know the right key words! 500 points a vial! |
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06-20-2011, 04:37 PM
| #144 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| semi-HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO, ARCADE and used bicycle seats NOW BEING OFFERED IN THE "HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE LOUNGE" ELVIS'S WUKA-WUKA WEDDING PACKAGES! PRESIDED OVER AND SANCTIFIED BY ZAMBONI AND THE BLOWFISH SERVICES STARTING AT JUST 5 REP POINTS! ILL-USTRATED ABOVE: the "YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE THAN A HOUND DOG" Elvis package, 15 rep points. Cake not included. Your marriage mileage may vary. Annullments extra. |
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06-21-2011, 02:10 AM
| #145 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| First Arcade Failure Reported Both the Health Department AND P.E.T.A. have informed us we need to shut down the "Ring Toss" game, one of our more popular attractions. We grovel about any hard feelings this may have caused. Our lawyers are arguing that the game employed pigeons, thus boosting the economy. PHOTO: ANOTHER WINNER...FOR BOTH THE ECONOMY AND THE ARCADE. TELL CONGRESSMAN WEINER HOW DISAPPOI...huh?....oh....BE SURE TO PROTEST, SOMEHOW. |
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06-21-2011, 05:20 AM
| #146 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| His thoughts... (BLAST, this acursed arcade! If I get one more drunk pounding on the window, telling me he needs to make a call I'll.... oh that's just lovely...another disposable diaper in the popcorn chute. [sigggggh] ) No, kid, there's no "rifle" for this "game". It's a Seers' booth......NO, NOT THE "SEAR'S" BOOTH, THE SEERS' BOOTH!! (These people are just uninspired. To think: I passed up a career with Chuck U. Cheeze.) |
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06-21-2011, 07:34 PM
| #147 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Don-ward Ho! the HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE CHAPEL AND Barbeque Pit WEDDING MENU is AVAILABLE! LOOK AT SOME OF OUR SERVING SUGGESTIONS! GOTH VADER meets RIFF RAFF YOU'LL BE DOING THE "TIME WARP" WITH A PELVIC THRUST!! PRICES STARTING AT 100 REP POINTS! INCLUDES YODA SINGING "DOOOOO doooo. Do do do DOOOOOO dooooo!" FOR 100 REP POINTS MORE, ADD THE "ALL YOU CAN DRINK" FOUNTAIN BAR LOUNGE and vomitorium !!! MARRY LARGE ! PARTY HUGE! EXPLODE INTO SAVINGS!!!! Last edited by royster; 06-21-2011 at 07:49 PM. |
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06-22-2011, 12:24 AM
| #148 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Serf's Up for the working~class~ the HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE CHAPEL AND massage parlour WEDDING MENU is AVAILABLE! HERE'S ANOTHER SAMPLE OF OUR SERVING SUGGESTIONS! FROM BROOM TO GROOM! 500 REP POINTS Our most POPULAR of the "On The Backs Of The Working Class" selection! NOT SHOWN: THE "GIDDYUP, COWBOY!" BEEF ROUND-UP PACKAGE [stirrups available for slightly higher fee. Branding not recommended.] the "SURF'S UP / RIDE THAT WAVE" ALOHA WINKY-WINKY WEDDING IT'S TOO LATE TO "DUCK" NOW! COMPLETELY FOWL CEREMONY INCLUDES The BankAccounts' "WIPEOUT!" 750 REP POINTS. Does not include floatation devices or any other inflatable objects. Last edited by royster; 06-22-2011 at 12:34 AM. |
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06-22-2011, 02:19 AM
| #149 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| No Need To Go "Straight" To The Altar! the HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE LOUNGE AND WEDDING CHAPEL SAYS: LEZ BE FRIENDS! Yes, GAY MARRIAGES ARE LEGAL on this forum! Beast does it all the time!DISCLAIMER: We have performed several ceremonies in which she joins herself in holy matrimony. She has a LOT of rep points to throw around so she's one of our best customerettes. Beast is not necessarily "GAY", but her happier moments DO indicate that she interacts with other women during the course of the day. PACKAGE INCLUDES PATTI SMITH POSTERS, k.d.lang MUSIC, and 2 days/3 NIGHTS AT THE "ROYSTER INN AND OUT BURGER" A MERE 690 REP POINTS, WE DO ACCEPT BANKAMERIHARD! |
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