"Points" REDEMPTION CENTER

[ZephyrusX]

Hey! I want my reading!

Originally Posted by royster

HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply~bail bonds~brazeirium~used auto parts~snacks~temporary life insurance~discount cheesecake outlet
CONGRATUTITUITY TO OUR LATEST WINNER [zephyrusX] WHO RECEIVES A FREE ZAMBONI SESSION!

Please wait until we get all the popcorn out of the booth: we had to do SOMETHING to supplement the income, and pschic readings weren't paying the rent.

[royster]

Yes. Yes, of course you do. As I descend into the ether, I shall... (Look, kid, I can't help it if you put a dollar in the slot and nothing happened...do you SEE a "claw" in here? No, you don't. No stuffed toys, just me.)
...I shall provide the conduit to the Herbal Essence of Suave high-light-enment. Rinse. Rub. Repeat....
LOOK, KID, THERE AIN'T NO TOYS IN HERE. OH, YOU INSIST, DO YOU? SURE, reach into the chute and claim your prize.....good. Yes, it's a NERF ball. There. Now go away, kid, ya bother me...Yes, I know it smells funny. That's the way they're making disposable dia...I mean...Nerf balls, these days.)

[royster]

NOW...I shall provide the conduit to the Herbal Essence of Suave high-light-enment. Rinse. Rub. Repeat...YEEEESSSS. It's coming to me, and I'm gettin' it. (Soon i will wish to smoke) but for now, ZephyrusX...
Zeph FIRE Russ (he was goalie in high school) sex. It appears you will "score" some "hot" stuff. It is important to know your lucky number, which hapens to be...let me consentrate...Maria. Your lucky color is...argyle. And your star of guiding flashlight is eveready to help you illuminate the way to ...
Hey, kid, don't put trash in that chute!

become aware of those who most appreciate you for your humor, insight, caring and sensitivities. I have rinsed and repeated, and thus lost connection (dang! WHY do they let kids into this casino, anyway?) Much Love and Light, my friend ZephyrusX.

[ZephyrusX]

lol - Thanks royster. This put a smile on my face

[royster]

reasonably-HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and hosery outlet

NEW FEATURE!
"INGO". Like bingo, but with all the challenge of missing game parts!
EVERY SATURDAY IS "GUY APPRECIATION DAY". Our lawyers suggested we not advertise the features of this event. Besides: someone already started a thread "Would You Be An Escort". (Ford doesn't MAKE Escorts, anymore).


DISCLAIMER: The mafia have absolutely NOTHING to do with HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply. Members receiving rep points for no apparrent reason are not necessarily being supplied "hush money". Your odds may vary.

[royster]

1,500 rep points

The Carpenter's Little Helper



Yes, no professional builder wants to be without those little short-cuts that make the day easier. "Beer time" arrives much sooner, or so it seems, and with much more cause to celebrate. Even carpenters-in-recovery appreciate the ins and outs of The Carpenter's Little Helper!

Only 1,502,347 of these little guys were ever produced, and we were very lucky to latch on to a few of them. Once you experience The Carpenter's Little Helper, you'll wonder how 1,500 Rep Points could do so much for you!

NOT SHOWN: The Carpenter's Little Helper.

[royster]

sort of-HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and used tires

We received this message!

I was gambling like a shakin' sha-hooti and lost most of my rep points. I started betting, using my livestock. I put my donkey up as collateral and my luck turned! NOW I have 210,00-1/2 rep points! I'm buying myself a new set of teeth!

PROOF that you won't lose your ass at OUR CASINO!

[royster]

I'm buying myself a new set of teeth!

It's ALWAYS good to see a man put his money where his mouth is! (Provided he washes it off, first...you don't know where it's been...and some of it passes through Zamboni's booth). (The money, not your mouth. Although our cameras DID pick up some strange activity).

You ARE a man, aren't you?

[royster]

You ARE a man, aren't you?

Nope! I won enough rep points to finally get that Tuck-And-Roll! See ya in VEGAS!

[royster]

A ZAMBONI PREDICTION THAT CAME TRUE

The non-conspiracy conspiracy cover-up
A scam is available for a few good points: you can conspire with your forum friends to give you Reputation points. This way, groups create immediate wealth. Since few look into "conspiracy", who will know? And if they DO look, you can just call them conspiracy nutzoids and keep on scammin'. There's no way to prove these points are "laundered" Karma points.

I do not recommend the Pavlina MicroWave Oven, though for 12 Reputation points, it's a good bargain for those with plenty of time on their hands.

original post at
"Points" REDEMPTION CENTER


Yes, THIS was the beginning of REP-GATE, AND NOW WE SEE "REP SABRES" EVERYWHERE!



ONLY AT ROYSTER'S PRETTY GOOD CASINO and pork rinds outlet.

ZAMBONI: HE'S NOT JUST GLOSSING OVER THE FLOOR!

[royster]

THIS WEEK ONLY! (Unless we don't sell enough of them).
MR. BLOBY DOLLS
15 REP POINTS



Yes, Mr. Bloby doesn't do ANYTHING except roll on the floor in a blobesque tantrum...sort of a cross between Glenn Beck on Rush Limbaugh's meds and Sarah Palin on steroids...as if THAT would ever happen! It won't...not before election time...so there's MR. BLOBY!!!

Imagine all the valuable time you can waste with this precious genuine copy of a fake imitation!.

[royster]

"This is a momentous time in history, and you are undergoing radical changes, so be resolute in your determination to see yourself thru. Be at peace with the coming portals, overjoyed with your success, and remain in child-like anticipation of whats to come…eager for the opportunity to step fully into you.

We are the Pleiadian high council and we bring forth this information to remind you of your power to release yourself from bondage during this critical passage, and to assist each of you as true representatives of your galactic heritage. May the radiance of your soul's brilliance shine forth in all your dealings." -PHC


To maintaining childlike anticipation!

[royster]

remotely-HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and hair cut parlor

100 REP POINTS IS ALL IT TAKES TO
SPIN THE WHEEL OF LADY LUCK FORTUNEDISCLAIMER: She might want your phone number afterwards. Consult with Zamboni to check her recent medical records.

[royster]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Ok Royster! Shut your eyes and imagine your self gliding across the moon lit sky with your beloved dog next to your side wagging his/her sweet little tail. And under no circumstances think of ET going home. I am in no way ripping off the imagery from that movie

Due to operating cost increases, and a paternity suit, wagon rides are now 15 points. Each.

[royster]

"points" REDEMPTION CENTER "BLOW-IT-OUT-YER-PATOOTI" SALE! Prices good through June 42nd

.MR. BLOBY DOLLS-2 FER SPECIAL~buy one, get another one for the same price!

.GAY BOB DOLLS- They come in pairs, now

.CHAKRA "OH FEEL ME!" DOLLS- 7 rep points per chakra

PUPPY UPPERS bottle of 100 pills
Has Rover been a little down, lately? Does he need something to lighten his mood? PUPPY UPPERS should do the trick. He'll be back to his ol' self in no time, telling jokes and stealing your beer. 300 rep points

[royster]

"points" REDEMPTION CENTER "BLOW-IT-OUT-YER-PATOOTI" SALE! Prices good through June 42nd

mostly AUTHENTIC AUTOGRAPHED JIMMY HOFFA GLOSSIES 8x10, give or take an inch

LIMITED SUPPLY OF THESE HARD-TO-FIND PRINTS ARE 500 REP POINTS PER 5,000 COPIES. SOLD IN BULK ONLY.

[royster]

"points" REDEMPTION CENTER "BLOW-IT-OUT-YER-PATOOTI" HOME AND ORIFICE SALE! Prices good through June 42nd Except in some parts of Nebraska and Illinoise.
CAT HEADSETS-300 REP POINTS EACH

Your cat will love the ease of communicating with you without peeing in your shoes! Available iPAW lets Kitty listen to his/her/its favorite tunas. Headests are made from durable beef jerky dried in the Netherlands, so you KNOW they not only SOUND GOOD, they TASTE good when Kitty tires of them.

[royster]

the "points" REDEMPTION CENTER SPRING CATALOGUE IS NOW IN PRINT! Here are our TOP 10 HOT ITEMS!

1.)Non stick Cellotape -not recommended for violins

2.)Solar Powered Flash Light

3.)A black highlighter pen -Just like the Pentagon uses for FOI papers!

4.)Glow in the dark sunglasses -cool at any speed!

5.)Inflatable Anchor -doubles as a sex partner or poker player!

6.)Smooth Sandpaper

7.)Waterproof sponge

8.)Waterproof Teabags

9.)AC adapter for Solar powered calculators

10.)Fireproof Matches

THESE ARE NECESSARY ACCOUTREMENTS FOR THESE FINE PURCHACES:

1.)Fireproof Cigarettes

2.)Battery powered Battery Charger

3.)Seatbelts for Motorbikes

4.)Hand powered Chainsaw

5.)Inflatable Dartboard -doubles as an anchor!

6.)Silent Alarm Clock (I bet THAT falls on deaf ears!)

7.)A Pedal powered wheelchair -inventive!

8.)Braille Drivers Manual -feel your way downtown

9.)Double sided playing cards -just like we use in the casino!

10.)Ejector seats for Helicopters -a MUST if you pick up hitchhikers

Worthless Inventions by Austin Torney in Lifestyle & Art

[royster]

questionablyHONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and rentable maniquins boutique

CONGRADUATING [MIDNITE] FOR THE NEXT FREE ZAMBONI READING!! And THANKS FOR USING COINS in OUR SLOTS!



ZAMBONI: FRIGID ANSWERS FOR AN ICY WORLD.

[royster]

"points" REDEMPTION CENTER "BLOW-IT-OUT-YER-PATOOTI" HOME AND ORIFICE SALE! Prices good through June 42nd Except in some parts of Nebraska and Illinoise, and most parts of Maykamuckygobagoo.
BREAK OUT YOUR K.C. AND THE SUNSHINE BAND RECORDS AND SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE!



In an old warehouse in Hoboken, New Jersey a crate was discovered...FULL OF SHAKE-A-PUD'N! AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED MILK, JUST WATER! SO GORGE ON PUDDING WHILE PUTTIN' COWS OUTTA BUSINESS.DISCLAIMER: AS this quality product was manufactured before "fresheness dates" were printed on packages, we cannot be liable for a lot of stuff, including YOUR mother-in-law and associated discomforts. Reports of laboratory rats shouldn't deter the coagulational properties of substances designed to coagulate without the assistance of rats.

[royster]

SPEAKING OF RATS...
How many times have you walked into a restaurant and found a six-foot rat wandering about? Yes, we KNOW we're in a fine eating establishment when RATS attend our tables!

YOU CAN BE A RAT, TOO! With the expenditure of only 800 Rep Points, we'll send you this Chuck U Cheezee video, which instructs you on all facets of Ratesque ratatuity!

YouTube - ‪Chuck E. Cheese "University" Character Training‬‏

[ZephyrusX]

I want the silent alarm clock.

[royster]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

I want the silent alarm clock.

Well...um..er..uh..due to a shipping mishap, we accidentally sent you a "Strawberry Alarm Clock" order of Incense Peppermints. Since this was OUR fault for not reading closely, you will only be billed once for this little misunderstanding.

YouTube - ‪Strawberry Alarm Clock - Incense And Peppermints‬‏

[royster]

decide-ably NOT-HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and proboscus massage parlour
NOTICE: The casino will be CLOSED Friday due to a "Hunka-Hunka Burnin' Love" incident that occurred near or on several slots during a poker session. Clean-up crews will be busy, looking for dropped coins and removing drunks from under the tables in the C-section of the casino. We apologize for any inconvenience, and all drunks ARE placed in the 'Lost And Found' sector of the casino's maniquin boutique. If not claimed in 30 days, they become the possession of the finder(s). Thank you

[ZephyrusX]

Pfft, I want a refund (Nice song BTW)

Originally Posted by royster

Well...um..er..uh..due to a shipping mishap, we accidentally sent you a "Strawberry Alarm Clock" order of Incense Peppermints. Since this was OUR fault for not reading closely, you will only be billed once for this little misunderstanding.

YouTube - ‪Strawberry Alarm Clock - Incense And Peppermints‬‏

[royster]

disHONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and feline front-end allignment shop

CASINO BULLETIN BOARD
SLUGS IN SLOTS- We have aprehended the perpetrator who was putting slugs in the slot machines. Actually, they weren't slugs, they were shelled snails, which had been squooshed into the coin orifaces. Payouts from those machines produced an undesireable reaction from many slotists, who were removed for disturbing the other patrons of this fine, upstanding casino.

"Porcelain Patty" has been fired- Once this sculpture has cooled, it will be glazed and re-fired. It should be very pretty with the natural glazed look of astonishment.

"Deceptive Dick" has been canned- 12 ounce cans are offered in the refrigerated section of the meat department near the bingo boards.

The Wheel Of Lady Luck Fortune -this attraction has been temporarily closed for undisclosed reasons.

SCRATCH TICKETS - during the recovery of the casino cat from prostrate surgery, no scratch tickets are being sold. We hope "Mr. Snuggums" recovers rapidly, and will stop "spraying" the legs of customers.

THE NECCO WAFER FRAUD continues to baffle casino guards, and all male patrons are being frisked at the door. 6" long, round, tubular objects in patrons' pockets arouse suspicion, and only Casino Candy is permitted. Necco wafers cause an ungodly foam to emerge from slot orifaces when combined with snail glutosobscene juices, still present in several slot machines. Necco fraud is punishable. Somehow.

[royster]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Pfft, I want a refund (Nice song BTW)

I am sending a voucher.


His name is "Vinny".

[royster]

Originally Posted by royster

I am sending a voucher.


His name is "Vinny".

YES, "VOUCHER VINNY" and "PROMISE PETE" DO LOOK AMAZINGLY LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON. BUT UNLIKE JACKSON, THE *ZIPPER IS IN THE BACK.

Inside the zipper compartment, Zeph, is your refund...and 100 Rep Points good at the casino. As I love you dearly, I therefore suggest you avoid the snack bar untill they change the frying grease. This is oddly in coincidence, each month, with the auto repair shop's oil recycling policy.

FREE SPINS FOR EVERYBODY (since the casino is closed today for cleaning).

Free Slot Machines Funny Game

*DISCLAIMER: No one can be sure Michael's wardrobe didn't include specific anatominical accesses for extraciricular activities.

[royster]

JUNE SALE CONTINUES TO BLOW!
Triple-purpose Patootie-kazoos and atmospheric manipulators



Think of it: wax paper to a hair comb isn't even understood by most of today's younger folks...so how would they know the joy of being a musician without the agonizing hours of piano practice or Mouth Harp boinging?
As well, how many times have you pulled the stuffing out of the "Voucher Vinny" doll, only to have no combustion chamber to process it with? Oh, sure: you could bend up an aluminum can and poke HOLES in it, but with "heavy metal poisoning" putting Black Sabath and AC/DC out of business, what are the alternatives??

A PATOOTIE-TOOTING-KAZOO! SUCK OR BLOW FOR YEARS OF PRE-RETIREMENT PLEASURE. ONLY 10 REP POINTS EACH. SOME PARTS MAY POSE CHOKING HAZARDS WHEN BLOW BECOMES SUCK. Plastic kazoos available, but not recommended for processing Vinny's stuffing.



PLASTIC KAZOOS: 5 POINTS PER PACKAGE OF 3.

SPECIAL ORDER:M. JACKSON MEMORIAL KAZOO~ blows Bubbles!

[ZephyrusX]

Oh, this is Vinny? I take it I have to unzip his zipper, do I?

Originally Posted by royster

YES, "VOUCHER VINNY" and "PROMISE PETE" DO LOOK AMAZINGLY LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON. BUT UNLIKE JACKSON, THE *ZIPPER IS IN THE BACK.

Inside the zipper compartment, Zeph, is your refund...and 100 Rep Points good at the casino. As I love you dearly, I therefore suggest you avoid the snack bar untill they change the frying grease. This is oddly in coincidence, each month, with the auto repair shop's oil recycling policy.
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