"Points" REDEMPTION CENTER

[royster]

Originally Posted by royster

69 points will get a Gay Bob doll. He can help you share your inner feelings on the forums as you pull his string and let him tell his story...it's YOUR story, but no one has to know! He comes in his own closet. Shipping and handling not included. This is one action figure G.I.Joe will have to accept, some day...and so will your friends and family!

While shipping still requires extra points, Bob is providing the "handling". [wink wink honk honk]

[royster]

The exciting drama and unpredictable saga about Hugh Jassoles will conclude eventually. Meanwhile, stock reports indicate that Mounds and several others have lots of points to spend, and business must go on! Feel free to order before midnight to recieve the Ginko knives.

[royster]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

The red wagon is beautiful!

I'm concocting another scam as I type. I'll advertise rides on the beautiful, magical, red wagon that can send you soaring through the cool night sky with the wind blowing gentle through your hair (ha! I'll out do you marinik! - broom flying girl ). This 'magical' adventure will only cost you 5 rep points made payable to Zephy

I'm saving up for the Gay Bob Doll now... I'll send it to my grandmother and may be she'll take the hint.

Zeph, this little wagon is now in Virginia; when I took all my little treasures from Los Angeles, this was the first thing to go into the trunk.



And now, I ask a favor:

Here's five rep points: would you give me another ride?

[ZephyrusX]

Originally Posted by royster

Zeph, this little wagon is now in Virginia; when I took all my little treasures from Los Angeles, this was the first thing to go into the trunk.



And now, I ask a favor:

Here's five rep points: would you give me another ride?

lol - Of course Where do you want to ride to this time?

Thanks for bumping this; I was feeling down and this made me smile

[royster]

Oh, maybe somewhere a little off the Milky Way...a place with scenery that would fit well with the song by Rush, "Free Will".

Glad to catch up to you, and along with the rep points I'm also sending Roysterized Smiles with Fortified Tickle Whiskers. YUM!

[ZephyrusX]

Originally Posted by royster

Oh, maybe somewhere a little off the Milky Way...a place with scenery that would fit well with the song by Rush, "Free Will".

Glad to catch up to you, and along with the rep points I'm also sending Roysterized Smiles with Fortified Tickle Whiskers. YUM!

Heh, I was actually thinking of something along the same lines. Only to the tune of Moon River (lovely song). Its nice to have you around Royster

*plays with the Fortifed Tickle Whiskers*

[royster]

You're a sweet sister, Zeph.

5,000 Redemption Points


Certainly we don't offer fire-arms here at the Pavlina Reputation Points Redemption Center, so don't get you undies in a bunch: your 5,000 Rep points get you that wonderful wrist watch Granny Barritone is wearing in this famous scene from the movie, "The Big Hocktooey" starring Lugar Flemm and Anita Blowmuhnoaz.

[ZephyrusX]

lol - signature theft? That has given me good ideas... I wonder hw long it would take for someone to realize that I 'stole' their signature.

Originally Posted by royster

The following message is a community service,
because we're rightful and caring...from P.F.U.N.EE~ P.H.A.R.M.
Signature theft. It happenes when you give information to disreputable and questionable institutions run by PUNKS.

[lonely violin music, plaintiff cry]

Well, Grandma...I guess your signature is in the next county by now. >sob<

Yes >sooooob< my family-heirloom signature...stolen by some disreputable, questionable PUNK.

[determined, triumphant institution music]

You need not fear your signature's theft at PhatFanniePharm and Loan. We're assured up to and exceeding many, several, and abundant Reputation Points. Not like questionable PUNKS.

[soothing strings-lonely sea gull shreik-fade to fusia]

[royster]

Signature Service. You deserve it. We're stealing it.

[royster]

The Story Of The Little Red Wagon

One day, while in Los Angeles, I drove around the corner from my mother's house...off to do some chore. On the corner with a simple sign that said "fReE" was a Hamilton Roadmaster red wagon...circa 1960. I immediately latched onto it. I stored it in my mother's garage, knowing that one day I'd be driving her car back to Virginia, and the little red wagon would go with me.

That day arrived much sooner than I ever imagined.

I took photographs of the wagon, with returnable soda bottles I had also collected in L.A.. In a younger day, such a rig would be quite admirable among the other kids.

The photo was posted on the Pavlina forum, and ZephyrusX showed a deep appreciation for it. That is the same photograph at the bottom of this page.

Before leaving Los Angeles recently, I carefully disassembled the wagon, packing it neatly in the trunk of my inherited car. Today I finally took the craft paper off of the wagon, and reassembled it.

I greased the wheels and axles real good, and made sure the pivot was oiled well.

Janice's street has a nice hill that was very tempting to coast down. It's a cul-de-sac, but it intersects with route 11.

At the top of the hill I indeed stuffed my old ass into the wagon, big feet flopping out the sides, and rode all the way down the hill. It was sheer poetry. And three tons of fun without mishap.

ZephyrusX had promised me a ride in the magic little wagon, and her promise transcended all social misgivings.

I intend to do it again, real soon.

Meanwhile, the little red wagon will give service to Janice's yard, and her previous red wagon (I had gotten for her) goes to her American Indian friend, who will use it in her garden.

Many thanks, Zeph. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. Roy

[ZephyrusX]

Originally Posted by royster

At the top of the hill I indeed stuffed my old ass into the wagon, big feet flopping out the sides, and rode all the way down the hill. It was sheer poetry. And three tons of fun without mishap.

That does sound like fun. I think I want to ride down the hill too. Of course, the cat will be clinging on to me for dear life

[royster]

Notice: WITH THE RECENT POINT-EXCHANGE MARKET GLUTTED WITH INSIDER REPPING, PREMIUMS OFFERED AT THE REDEMPTION CENTER MAY REQUIRE A VALIDATION OF POINT-HOLDING OWNERSHIP. SEE YOUR DEALER FOR DETAILS. SMALL PARTS MAY CHOKE CHILDREN AND DISAPPOINT ASPIRING ACTORS. NO RABBITS WERE HARMED IN THIS DEMONSTRATION. YOUR KILOMETERAGE MAY VARY IF IT ISN'T CONSISTANT. PRODUCT SHOWN AS "SERVING SUGGESTION" AND WAS NOT A DEMAND.
DISCLAIMER: While it IS difficult to read this small print, it isn't impossible, thus making it even more of a challenge to be deceptive. Perhaps using a lighter color will allow us to make other useless statements regarding useless "information" or so-called "stuff".
THANK YOU
Your reading IS important to us. Please: stay on the forum, and an operator will be with you in the order your click was received.

[royster]

Zephyrus, now that this wagon is here in Virginia, I can't look at it and not think of you!

That's a GOOD thing.

{hugs}

[ZephyrusX]

Due to repflation, how much are wagon rides worth today?

*hugs*

[royster]

psst! We OWN the wagon: they're free!

[Midnite]

Originally Posted by royster

The exciting drama and unpredictable saga about Hugh Jassoles will conclude eventually. Meanwhile, stock reports indicate that Mounds and several others have lots of points to spend, and business must go on! Feel free to order before midnight to recieve the Ginko knives.

I feel like I am being used to artificially inflate business.

[royster]

While few took interest in the dramatic story of the Points Redemption take-over, some have expressed appreciation for this thread. To resume the thread's original theme, it is necessary to conclude the Hugh Jassoles' story.

Of course, they were all attracted to Barbie, who took them out on the wagon. While Hugh Jassoles were on the wagon, Barbie made strong yet obscure suggestions pertaining to poinkie-poinkie. No Hugh Jassole can resist poinkie-poinkie, so suffice it to say that incriminating photographs were obtianed. The large corporate entities involved in the Points Redemption take-over have sufficient lawyers and money to insure that "this whole thing is forgotten". This has therefore IMPROVED royster's points~financial ability to conduct the Redemption Center with solid integrity once again.

George Bush and Gay Bob, having spent time together in the closet, decided to purchace a used bus in Australia. After naming the bus "Pricilla, Queen of the Desert", they began touring that country in search of their inner truths. No 'ABBA' songs were harmed in this story.

Now I gotta go find some crap to foist off....I mean...merchandise to offer.

[royster]

Originally Posted by royster

Notice: WITH THE RECENT POINT-EXCHANGE MARKET GLUTTED WITH INSIDER REPPING, PREMIUMS OFFERED AT THE REDEMPTION CENTER MAY REQUIRE A VALIDATION OF POINT-HOLDING OWNERSHIP. SEE YOUR DEALER FOR DETAILS. SMALL PARTS MAY CHOKE CHILDREN AND DISAPPOINT ASPIRING ACTORS. NO RABBITS WERE HARMED IN THIS DEMONSTRATION. YOUR KILOMETERAGE MAY VARY IF IT ISN'T CONSISTANT. PRODUCT SHOWN AS "SERVING SUGGESTION" AND WAS NOT A DEMAND.
DISCLAIMER: While it IS difficult to read this small print, it isn't impossible, thus making it even more of a challenge to be deceptive. [COLOR="blue""]Perhaps using a lighter color will allow us to make other useless statements regarding useless "information" or so-called "stuff".[/COLOR]
THANK YOU
Your reading IS important to us. Please: stay on the forum, and an operator will be with you in the order your click was received.

I wondered what I had written there...

[royster]

Barbie made strong yet obscure suggestions pertaining to poinkie-poinkie. No Hugh Jassole can resist poinkie-poinkie

DISCLAIMER: Poinkie-poinkie may not be suitable for some members, and may not be available in your area. Poinki-poinkie is prohibited on the island of Maykamuckygobagoo, and is under legislation in East Virginia. "Points Redemptions Etc. INC" does not offer poinkie-poinkie to share-holdees, and staff members may be horizontal, thus making 'poinkie-poinkie' wubbah-hubbah. No animals were used as advisors for these...and other...ridiculous statements, be they leaglly binding, or just mildly into bondage.

[royster]

new!
HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply
NOW POINT-HOLDERS CAN GAMBLE REP-POINTS IN A CULTIVATING ENVIRONMENT!
Guess The Number Game~
BET: 100 Rep Points
Guess a number between 1 and 3,298,567,230
PAYOFF: 1 rep point

YOU'LL BE RAKING IN THE DOUGH AT HONEST ROYSTER'S!!!

This PM just in:

I think the Jassole scam was at least difficult to detect. THIS is a bit [edited to suit our needs]

[royster]

new!
HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply
NOW POINT-HOLDERS CAN GAMBLE REP-POINTS IN A CULTIVATING ENVIRONMENT!

TONIGHT IN THE "HUNKA-HUNKA BURNIN' LOVE LOUNGE" ~ Elvis Impersonator Bjorn Dagin sings the Best Of Harpo
___________________________
FREE fruitCOCKTAIL WITH EVERY RAFFLE TICKET PURCHACED AT THE POOPS TABLE

WHY SHOOT CRAPS? THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!

EVERY WEDNESDAY NITE IS "LADIES NIGHT". *LADIES ARE MORE WELCOME THAN USUAL.
*includes Boy George and Tim Curry

[royster]

Originally Posted by royster

WOW...did we get a big response! Please be patient.



Technically this should be my 2,000th post. HOW DID I DO THAT!?

I went to POINTS R ME and borrowed a post! It's easy! It's cheap! And, just like sex, only takes 15 seconds!

"POINTS R ME" has been suspended due to a pending law suit, or at least pants outfit.

[royster]

new!
HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply

CUSTOMERS ARE ADVISED TO WASH THEIR HANDS AND OTHER PARTS OF THEIR ANATOMY AFTER PLAYING THE SLOTS.


Earn rep points by posting good reviews for the casino.

[royster]

new!
HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply~bail bonds

COMING SOON! PSYCHIC READINGS BY THE GREAT ZAMBONI
MEMEBERS OF OUR "FREAKWENT FLINGER CLUB" GET A FREE READING FOR EVERY 100 REP-POINTS SQUANDERED IN THE CASINO!

[royster]

HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply~bail bonds~brazeirium~used auto parts~snacks~temporary life insurance~discount cheesecake outlet
CONGRATUTITUITY TO OUR LATEST WINNER [zephyrusX] WHO RECEIVES A FREE ZAMBONI SESSION!

Please wait until we get all the popcorn out of the booth: we had to do SOMETHING to supplement the income, and pschic readings weren't paying the rent.

[royster]

BEHOLD, THE GREAT ZAMBONI IS AT YOUR SURFACE. Sweat NOT, lest ye be sweat. (Oh, wait, that's AquaZeuss' line)AND...ask NOT for popcorn, for it has been removed...besides, we ran out of little white bags.

[royster]

HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and gardening supply~bail bonds~brazeirium~used auto parts~snacks~temporary life insurance~discount cheesecake outlet~dog grooming~fresh expiration-date-expired goods~horse race results~coffee-flavored water~bug spray


Please wait while I, the Great Zamboni, clear my mind of alllll distract...(HEY, LADY! THAT CHUTE IS FOR DISPENSING POPCORN, NOT DISCARDING USED DISPOSABLE DIAPERS!

GOOD LORD!~ WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING THAT KID!?)

[royster]

THE GREAT ZAMBONI IS ABOUT TO SPEA....No, sir; this is NOT a PHONE BOOTH!
Ahem....PLEASE calm your mind as I prepare to...

AW, FER PETE'S SAKE, DUDE! THE MEN'S ROOM IS ACROSS THE CASINO!


Now I'll NEVER be able to use the chute for popcorn!

[royster]

Now, as I invoke the spirits of Hobobanobafeeli and his second-cousin, I ask that you... Ma'am, PLEASE quit tapping on the glass! WHAT? NO, this isn't the meat departmen...WHAT casino have you ever been to that had a MEAT CASE right next to the blackjack table? HUH!? I mean BESIDES SAIGON! SIR, please don't play with that. I REALISE it says "Zoltar"...he's being detained for a restraining-order violation. No, we are NOT related to 'Zamfir'...

[royster]

HONEST ROYSTER'S CASINO and bug spray
PLEASE ENJOY THE AMENITIES WHILE ZAMBONI REGROUPS FOR HIS NEXT READING. ALSO, PLEASE NOTE THAT THE RUSSIAN ROULETTE WHEEL COSTS A MERE 10 REP POINTS PER TOSS.