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11-08-2010, 10:23 PM
| #31 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
  |  WOW...did we get a big response! Please be patient. Technically this should be my 2,000th post. HOW DID I DO THAT!? I went to POINTS R ME and borrowed a post! It's easy! It's cheap! And, just like sex, only takes 15 seconds! |
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11-08-2010, 10:33 PM
| #32 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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11 Reputation points...13 if you borrow from your local, trust-worthy points-lending institution...gets you this floor mat. Impress your friends! Greet the mailman feeling important! WHAT!? THREE posts and still at 1,999? How did I do it! royster's POINTS-R-ME |
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11-09-2010, 12:25 AM
| #33 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| DON'T BELIEVE THE STORIES ABOUT THE "POINTS BAILOUT"! Yes, those rumor mongers and gossipers are all yadderin' about the Point-Mortgage bubble bursting. You need to KNOW that royster's POINTS R Me is an institution you can confidently rely on for all your point-padding needs. Last edited by royster; 11-09-2010 at 01:22 AM. |
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11-09-2010, 12:48 AM
| #34 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| the SPAVLINA TIMES POINTS SCAM UNFOLDING "IT'S JUST UNDRESSING" OFFICIALS SAY Pavlinaville, East Virginia - Point mongol r. Oy Ster has been unavailable for questioning regarding the recent disclosure of PointsGate. When assessed recently, his Pointential wealth was 48 Repitation points, but souses say this number is much less digits than inflated claims. "It reminds ME of the Donut Shortage of 2009!" said an anonymous gossip mongerer. ASK DAN LANDERS Last edited by royster; 11-09-2010 at 01:23 AM. |
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11-09-2010, 02:15 PM
| #35 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[wistful, tinkly piano music] Hi. Royster here. You know, ever since I can remember, Reputation Points have had...special meaning ...to me. [friendly dog barking in the distance] I have always revered Points. Why, I wouldn't squander them on frivilus squandandermy. I believe in SHARING the points...speading that good cheer around. [wistful, tinkly piano music, sincere violins phazed in] While some may points their finger at my actions, they points three fingers to themselves. I want to assure everyone: points is what we's gots to gauge us by. [creshendo music, little boy runs off into the distance, dog follows. Fade to pink] |
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11-09-2010, 03:25 PM
| #36 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| The following message was paid for by P.F.U.N. There comes a time when we give up our innocense because some darned punk has ruined our illusion. [vindictive industrial music] Oh, sure, they rant about tinkly piano flash-backs, but isn't that just the drugs? Aren't there BIGGER and BETTER institutions...not run by punks...that we can trust with our hard-earned points? [sure-footed institution music] I'm here to remind you that PhatFannieCan and Murl Lynchmob are trusted and powerful influences. If you're going to use your points, use them on us. [seagull flies off to the distance]  PhatFannieCan: Points well taken. [fade to black] Last edited by royster; 11-09-2010 at 03:33 PM. |
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11-09-2010, 05:15 PM
| #37 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| PhatFannieCan...and WILL! The following message was paid for by P.F.U.N. "Sincere violins"...doesn't that sound like some sob story a punk would come up with? How many times have you been ripped-off by some sobbing punk, only to realise that you'd been ripped-off? BY A PUNK!?? [matter-of-fact-I'm-smarter-than-you music] Folks on their PhatFannieCan are COMFORTABLE with their choices to LET PhatFannie sit on their points, watchin' 'em GROW. Yes, we're better than some tinkly piano, sincere violin PUNK who gives you peanuts for points. At PhatFannieCan, you can rest assured your points are safe, secure, and PUNKLESS. Open an account today! See just why being on your PhatFannie...CAN! [squddley-butt beaver music, ends with oboe phart] |
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11-09-2010, 10:40 PM
| #38 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| EVERYTHING "POINTS" TO GEORGE W. BUSH! YES! OPEN YOUR POINTS ACCOUNT WITH PHATFANNIECAN TODAY AND RECEIVE A FREE GEORGE W. BUSH DOLL! "Dishonest Dubya" Lying Action Figure Doll - George W. Bush Click on to see what yer gettin'! Be SURE to push the "choke on pretzel" feature! Minumum deposit: 15 points - Penalty for withdrawing early NEW! TRADE YOUR POINTS FOR MEDS! PHATFANNIEPHARMA, coming soon. Last edited by royster; 11-09-2010 at 10:44 PM. |
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11-10-2010, 10:52 AM
| #39 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| The following message is a community service, because we're rightful and caring...from P.F.U.N.EE~ P.H.A.R.M. Signature theft. It happenes when you give information to disreputable and questionable institutions run by PUNKS. |
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11-10-2010, 10:57 AM
| #40 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| The following message is a community service, because we're rightful and caring...from P.F.U.N.EE~ P.H.A.R.M. Signature theft. It happenes when you give information to disreputable and questionable institutions run by PUNKS. [lonely violin music, plaintiff cry] Well, Grandma...I guess your signature is in the next county by now. >sob< Yes >sooooob< my family-heirloom signature...stolen by some disreputable, questionable PUNK. [determined, triumphant institution music] You need not fear your signature's theft at PhatFanniePharm and Loan. We're assured up to and exceeding many, several, and abundant Reputation Points. Not like questionable PUNKS. [soothing strings-lonely sea gull shreik-fade to fusia] |
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11-10-2010, 01:32 PM
| #41 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[ icky nasty music ] "Why, this Karma doll I bought with my Reputation Points is shoddily manufactured and smells like punk!" "You must have paid TOO MANY Rep Points for that bad Karma doll. I bet you got that from royster's POINTS-R-ME." [ vindictive industrial music with extra tubas ] Disreputable, dispicable, and diaperish. Why would anyone order shoddy merchandise with hard-earned rep-points? [ beautiful HARP strum ] Get you merchandise from the big name you can trust. Remember: PUNKS are good for lighting fireworks, not disseminating merchandise. PhatFanniePharm and FUNds reminds you this week is BONER POINTS week. Never get stiffed again by unscrupilous mongrels, open a boner account today! |
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11-10-2010, 03:51 PM
| #42 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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royster, here. I guess by pointing out something no one was paying attention to...and capitalising on it...I brought about my own downfall. That, or uncovered exploitable wealth. Anyway, PhatFannie has taken over this thread in a corporate take-over. Those of you who ordered stuff will still receive it. Even if it takes my last reputation point. |
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11-10-2010, 09:04 PM
| #44 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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Hey, there...it's just me. I came to get my whoopie cushion out of the desk, then I'll go. Hey...what's this? [ papers rustle] PhatFannie plans to pass out...(flip) "Buy American" bumper stickers made in China. (flip) THOSE are only sold through BUTTOCK'S COMPARTMENT STORES...whose CEO is Hugh Jassole III. Wait...Hugh Jassole the IV owns Phat PHarma Suit-icles. And Hugh Jassole I owns ButtBook. Good LORD! A bunch of Hugh Jassoles are taking over! |
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11-10-2010, 11:02 PM
| #45 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
Hugh III-Well, he's RUMP ROAST when we're done with 'im! Hugh I- Keep him BUSY until we can manage to have ONE HUGH JASSOLE running this operation. HUGH V- Which Hugh are you meaning? Hugh I- What kind of way to talk is that? "Which you are you meaning?" Shouldn't you be baking Jassole Casserole to cajole the Petrol patrol? HUGH III- Oh no...I think we're being watched.... | |
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11-11-2010, 12:10 PM
| #46 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
HUGH V...and the charactor assassination will conclude on the grassy knoll. HUGH III - We can't DO that: there's a 'no littering' sign on the grassy knoll. HUGH IV - There's a hole on the grassy knoll...we could just push him in! [Gay Bob: royster, they're trying to make a grass hole out of you!] | |
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11-11-2010, 12:34 PM
| #47 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[ Thanks, Gay Bob...I'll divert their attention with a joke!] I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, truly curvaceous and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. I looked up and my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car! |
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11-11-2010, 12:50 PM
| #48 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[Gay Bob - That joke took them by surprise!] [royster - Yeah. Hey, what's that smell?] [George Bush doll - heh heh...that's me!] [royster - George bush! What are YOU doing in the closet with Gay Bob!?] [George Bush - Don't tell Laura...] [Gay Bob - Honey, you got NUTHIN' on Laura. You know that Evil Barbie?] [royster - Quiet, guys...they're laughing. Let's see what's next.] HUGH I - Where'd that joke come from? It's suspicious... HUGH II - You're always suspicious. Perhaps it's a reflection of what's REALLY going on inside you. HUGH I - You've spent to much time out THERE (indicating Personal Development boards) HUGH II - It IS a PD forum, Hugh. [George Bush - I didn't REALLY choke on a pretzel. They made that up.] [royster - This is ALL made up, George.] [Gay Bob - (wistful) Like faaaaaantasy!] HUGH IV - The next smear campaign is ready. Let's get this posted! [George Bush - Hey! I know all ABOUT 'smear campaigns'!] [royster - that's riiiiiiiight.....youuuuu DOOOO........] |
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11-11-2010, 10:48 PM
| #49 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| "Points" REDEMPTION CENTER REALITY BREAK While we speculate what might occur during the following installments, readers have a moment to ponder a few thoughts: . When was the last time you checked your "reputation points"? . royster presents the possibility that these may be traded in for premiums, but they're just "points'...nothing tangable or even real. . Regardless, this has drawn corporate interests, enough to initiate a "corporate take-over". AND HERE'S THE BIGGIE: . To thwart this scam, royster has teamed up with Gay Bob and George W. Bush...WHAT could possibly be up with THAT!? WE WILL RESUME OUR USUAL THREAD TOPIC AFTER THIS WORD FROM LOSTMYREPUTATION.... [harmonica music] My...thoughtless...posts prompted members to give me negative rep points. So I was down and out, drinking in front of the computer, wishing I was just acceptable. Then [harp swoooooop] I FOUND REP BAIL BONDS! Just in time for the holidays! |
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11-14-2010, 03:03 PM
| #50 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[Gay Bob, royster and George Bush are hiding between brackets, to see what a bunch of Hugh Jassoles are doing to take over the "points" REDEMPTION CENTER thread.] A MESSAGE FROM PhatFannie... The recently-passed "Freedom Of Who Rep'd You Points" act is of great concern to PhatFannieCanPharma & LTD.ETC.INC.. You can be sure your privacy will be honored when you place your points in our "Reputable Representitives Prestige Account". [George Bush: royster, what I know about lying to the public is: you always tell them the opposite of what you intend. Boy; if I learned anything from Carl Rove, THAT was IT!] |
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11-15-2010, 02:54 PM
| #52 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| Quote:
HUGH V - And a premuium POINT! (boi-oi-oinger) Amusing, Hugh. Let me...cross my legs...[sound of panty hose rubbing] and get to...my point. [looks at each and every Hugh] I'm willing to give a piece of the action [winking]for a piece of the action. Do you boys...get my point? | |
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11-15-2010, 03:04 PM
| #53 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[royster - Good LORD, I'm stuck in a closet with George Bush and Gay Bob when Barbie's offerin' to 'put out'!! That's awful!] CLINK! HUGH IV - What was that? It sounded like one of those cheap Gene lamps falling in the closet. What [pulling Hugh II's neck tie] would you rather rub? Me....or that lamp? |
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11-15-2010, 09:27 PM
| #54 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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[George Bush - for a doll she sure knows how to pull a guys' strings. ] [Gay Bob - Rub this, royster...you'll like what comes out of it!] [royster - Gee, I...well, okay...] Now, boys, I have a few rep points myslef, and I'd like to deposit them in a nice, warm, friendly atmosphere. And I think royster's image conveys that perfectly, don't you? HUGH I -Well...uh...no...I mean, yes but...we've already taken measures to...uh... Is that a Karma doll in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Last edited by royster; 11-15-2010 at 09:30 PM. |
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11-16-2010, 01:59 PM
| #55 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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HUGH I -Uh...(pulling out from pants) it's a karma doll. We get 100 of these for ONE rep point! Good commerce, woulldn't you agree?  He's cute and fuzzy...and over-priced. Which one you would like to pull me in the red wagon? [All hands go up] Well, I'll have to CHOOSE, won't I (giggle) |
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11-26-2010, 04:12 PM
| #57 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
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01-16-2011, 02:02 PM
| #59 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,479
| AWRIGHT, BARBIE! What are you doin' in these spooky ol' woods with a wagonful of Hugh Jassholes? YouTube - Li'l Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs (1966) Last edited by royster; 01-16-2011 at 02:06 PM. |
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