Goodbye

[Mounds]

I've run into some strange crap on this board. For instance, I've read that it's just dandy to kill people!
Now I read that it's on the woman to not feel offended when someone makes a lewd comment.
Say I'm walking down the street and someone hits me in the face with a shovel. I get a little upset and all the pedestrians start telling me to suck it up. Clearly the person with the shovel is the victim here... just look how bad he feels!
I understand that there are cultural and language barriers between Blacko and ourselves. I'm happy to work with that!
I'm surprised that a lot of people consider it gunk or gremlins or whatever that this offended Elucidate and AG. Not everything has to become a personal growth journey. I, for one, will not be considering this kind of stuff OK anytime soon. Most women would be mildly offended if someone said something like this to them. It sounds predatory! Not terribly concerned what the universe/Gawd/energy's opinion is. I consider myself a gentleman and this kind of stuff doesn't fit the bill.

-Tim

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by elucidate

Lucidism: I NEVER claimed he was harassing me. Please read my posts before you jump to the same conclusion James did!

Again, I don't think Lucidism meant to say that YOU claimed he was harassing you.

Originally Posted by elucidate

I wasn't offended, I just felt uncomfortable, and I expressed it. It's funny how I seem to be getting the criticism here for expressing my feelings and asking him firmly to stop it...and he is getting everyones sympathy even though Ssandra even admitted he was being innapropriate.

I haven't seen anyone criticize you, in this thread. In fact, I've seen people express that it is perfectly OK for you to feel you feel about the situation.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Mounds

Now I read that it's on the woman to not feel offended when someone makes a lewd comment.

I think the responsibility lies with both of them.

It lies with blacko to see why he got so upset to leave the forums over something like this.

It lies with elucidate to see why she go so offended by a comment that, on other message board, would probably get a bunch of rofl smilies as a response (I've been places like that, so maybe I'm jaded to the intensity of such a comment? I dunno.)

It lies with me to look at why this thread made me laugh so hard when it wasn't intended to be a joke or funny at all, at why I feel a ****-stirring nature in this thread, and why I get irked over that smiley breaking, and to go up and probably write out some long ass diatribe about all this in my finances thread at some point.

It lies with nicbrahms to send me n00ds dammit! <3

[Donkey1]

I've run into some strange crap on this board. For instance, I've read that it's just dandy to kill people!
Now I read that it's on the woman to not feel offended when someone makes a lewd comment.
Say I'm walking down the street and someone hits me in the face with a shovel. I get a little upset and all the pedestrians start telling me to suck it up. Clearly the person with the shovel is the victim here... just look how bad he feels!
I understand that there are cultural and language barriers between Blacko and ourselves. I'm happy to work with that!
I'm surprised that a lot of people consider it gunk or gremlins or whatever that this offended Elucidate and AG. Not everything has to become a personal growth journey. I, for one, will not be considering this kind of stuff OK anytime soon. Most women would be mildly offended if someone said something like this to them. It sounds predatory! Not terribly concerned what the universe/Gawd/energy's opinion is. I consider myself a gentleman and this kind of stuff doesn't fit the bill.

-Tim

Why couldn't you make the comparison between a lewd comment on the forums and on the streets. It's more similar than being hit in the face with a shovel.

[elucidate]

I'm with you Moundsy.

It's all become too strange for me. People round here seem to be addicted to personal growth. It becomes just like any other addiction...and it can be dangerous when people lose their ****ing perspective on it and turn eberything into some thing that people "create" or "choose" instead of just accepting that some things just are innapropriate...but instead of accepting that, people have to turn it around on the person feeling uncomfortable and somehow make it their fault. How the hell did blacko end up being the victim here...and me the one who has "issues"?

It's becoming really loopy and I for one am seriously over it!

Originally Posted by Mounds

I've run into some strange crap on this board. For instance, I've read that it's just dandy to kill people!
Now I read that it's on the woman to not feel offended when someone makes a lewd comment.
Say I'm walking down the street and someone hits me in the face with a shovel. I get a little upset and all the pedestrians start telling me to suck it up. Clearly the person with the shovel is the victim here... just look how bad he feels!
I understand that there are cultural and language barriers between Blacko and ourselves. I'm happy to work with that!
I'm surprised that a lot of people consider it gunk or gremlins or whatever that this offended Elucidate and AG. Not everything has to become a personal growth journey. I, for one, will not be considering this kind of stuff OK anytime soon. Most women would be mildly offended if someone said something like this to them. It sounds predatory! Not terribly concerned what the universe/Gawd/energy's opinion is. I consider myself a gentleman and this kind of stuff doesn't fit the bill.

-Tim

[rei]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

I *love* that phrase. Can I steal it?

Haha! I stole it from the Irish, you can steal it from me now my dear

[James81]

Originally Posted by elucidate

I'm with you Moundsy.

It's all become too strange for me. People round here seem to be addicted to personal growth. It becomes just like any other addiction...and it can be dangerous when people lose their ****ing perspective on it and turn eberything into some thing that people "create" or "choose" instead of just accepting that some things just are innapropriate...but instead of accepting that, people have to turn it around on the person feeling uncomfortable and somehow make it their fault.

It's becoming really loopy and I for one am seriously over it!

Yeah, people ona personal growth message board constantly talking about personal growth. Who'dve thunk? It's pure insanity!

(Yes, I'm being cheeky and facetious there. Just a little joke, though probably not really. )

[elucidate]

You STILL haven't read what I wrote James

I wasn't offended by what blacko said...I NEVER said he "harassed" me...YOU DID!

Read my ****ing POSTS properly before you start turning it all around on me

Originally Posted by James81

I think the responsibility lies with both of them.

It lies with blacko to see why he got so upset to leave the forums over something like this.

It lies with elucidate to see why she go so offended by a comment that, on other message board, would probably get a bunch of rofl smilies as a response (I've been places like that, so maybe I'm jaded to the intensity of such a comment? I dunno.)

It lies with me to look at why this thread made me laugh so hard when it wasn't intended to be a joke or funny at all, at why I feel a ****-stirring nature in this thread, and why I get irked over that smiley breaking, and to go up and probably write out some long ass diatribe about all this in my finances thread at some point.

It lies with nicbrahms to send me n00ds dammit! <3

[James81]

Originally Posted by elucidate

You STILL haven't read what I wrote James

I wasn't offended by what blacko said...I NEVER said he "harassed" me...YOU DID!

Read my ****ing POSTS properly before you start turning it all around on me

I was turning it around on me. Don't take that away from me, dammit. I'm trying to get some learnings here.

[Mounds]

Originally Posted by Donkey1

Why couldn't you make the comparison between a lewd comment on the forums and on the streets. It's more similar than being hit in the face with a shovel.

My original point was going to be someone dropping an anvil or a piano from a 10-story building. Halfway through the coinflip, I realized just how out there that really was. Who the hell would wreck a perfectly good piano? And an anvil!?! Those things are heavy!
Shovels. People hit things with shovels all the time. That's why I chose it.

....

....

What was the question?

[rei]

Originally Posted by James81

I think the responsibility lies with both of them.

It lies with blacko to see why he got so upset to leave the forums over something like this.

It lies with elucidate to see why she go so offended by a comment that, on other message board, would probably get a bunch of rofl smilies as a response (I've been places like that, so maybe I'm jaded to the intensity of such a comment? I dunno.)

It lies with me to look at why this thread made me laugh so hard when it wasn't intended to be a joke or funny at all, at why I feel a ****-stirring nature in this thread, and why I get irked over that smiley breaking, and to go up and probably write out some long ass diatribe about all this in my finances thread at some point.

It lies with nicbrahms to send me n00ds dammit! <3

Methinks it has something to do with the big fat

Goodbye

and the masculine/feminine drama. And you're stirring stuff up so you won't feel like the only one off center by what the thread is triggering for you.

You're poised for some major growth here, if you wanna explore that and see where it takes you.

(This is me mirroring what you've been expressing here - namely, unsolicited gremlin hunting. You're welcome! Yeah, I'm having a snippy moment but I'm converting it into something that might be useful for ya.)

[James81]

Originally Posted by Mounds

My original point was going to be someone dropping an anvil or a piano from a 10-story building. Halfway through the coinflip, I realized just how out there that really was. Who the hell would wreck a perfectly good piano? And an anvil!?!

Wile. E. Coyote that's who!

[Donkey1]

@elucidate You're the reason he left? You ruined it for everyone. How do you expect us to post here now? Blacko come back, the forum can't go on without you!

[rei]

Originally Posted by Donkey1

@elucidate You're the reason he left? You ruined it for everyone. How do you expect us to post here now? Blacko come back, the forum can't go on without you!

Whuh woe Donkey just revealed his inner turmoil sense of ruining stuff for everybawdy!

[James81]

Originally Posted by rei

Methinks it has something to do with the big fat

Goodbye

and the masculine/feminine drama. And you're stirring stuff up so you won't feel like the only one off center by what the thread is triggering for you.

You're poised for some major growth here, if you wanna explore that and see where it takes you.

(This is me mirroring what you've been expressing here - namely, unsolicited gremlin hunting. You're welcome! Yeah, I'm having a snippy moment but I'm converting it into something that might be useful for ya.)

Yeah, I recognize that. I'm thinking about it actually. You can prolly expect to see a big journal post about it at some point cause that's how I roll.

LMAO

[AlmostGodess]

It also lies with me to establish my limits and to define what's offending. And I don't want to be punished by any forum member for trying to set up MY limits. i also don't want anyone to tell me what MY limits are, unless I ask this.

Originally Posted by James81

I think the responsibility lies with both of them.

It lies with blacko to see why he got so upset to leave the forums over something like this.

It lies with elucidate to see why she go so offended by a comment that, on other message board, would probably get a bunch of rofl smilies as a response (I've been places like that, so maybe I'm jaded to the intensity of such a comment? I dunno.)

[lifetimelearner]

I feel really bad and sad

blacko is probably a young indian man who doesn't understand how some things work in different cultures and such

so although I am not taking his side I just feel sorry for this whole situation


and elucidate I hope you are feeling better

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by AlmostGodess

I still don't want anyone to point their monsters on me.

Lmao! What a great way of thinking about it.

Originally Posted by elucidate

I just wanted to clear up the fact that you keep accusing me of saying blacko "harassed" me...when I didn't ...which you don't seem to be able to acknowledge.

I don't know where you're seeing this. I haven't seen James say that a single time.

Originally Posted by elucidate

PWL said nothing innapropriate to me...it was a totally different issue. I think you have an issue with not reading what people write properly james!)

It seemed to me that James meant to say just what you said here. That our interaction didn't have something to do with me saying something inappropriate to you.

Originally Posted by elucidate

I think me and james have finished this little spat...if you don't mind I'd rather not continue it with you too. You are free to your oppinion of course.

What if I do mind? Would you continue it then?

[Donkey1]

My original point was going to be someone dropping an anvil or a piano from a 10-story building. Halfway through the coinflip, I realized just how out there that really was. Who the hell would wreck a perfectly good piano? And an anvil!?! Those things are heavy!
Shovels. People hit things with shovels all the time. That's why I chose it.

....

....

What was the question?

Lol

[rei]

Originally Posted by James81

Yeah, I recognize that. I'm thinking about it actually. You can prolly expect to see a big journal post about it at some point cause that's how I roll.

LMAO

Big journal post. Grab the papers. And the lighte- um, the pen! Time to roll.

I acknowledge I'm not crazy about goodbyes either!

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

Again, I don't think Lucidism meant to say that YOU claimed he was harassing you.

Lucidism was saying that he/she had seen many forums where women had over-reacted, claiming harassment, and everyone had to "walk on eggshells...why would he/she say that if they weren't referring to this thread and therefore agreeing with what James said?

I haven't seen anyone criticize you, in this thread. In fact, I've seen people express that it is perfectly OK for you to feel you feel about the situation.

Some have...James totally invalidated my experience and said he thought I over-reacted...making it my "issues" instead of placing it on blacko where it belongs. He's the one who made the comments about his monster penis hanging out...which even ssandra deemed innapropriate.

[James81]

Originally Posted by AlmostGodess

i also don't want anyone to tell me what MY limits are, unless I ask this.

You probably shouldn't post about your limits publicly then.

I know that when I post (and I post a LOT lol), I don't even begin to think I have any right to tell people how they should respond to my posts. I might try to clarify a post, or get into a debate on their responses, but I would never expect anyone to stop commenting on anything I post publicly unless it's a comment that I would approve of.

If I tell you what your limits are, for instance, it might help you to recognize that my telling you what your limits are really don't mean anything. Your reaction to it, though, says worlds about you. Just like my reaction to THIS says worlds about me.

[James81]

Originally Posted by rei

I'm not crazy about goodbyes either!

<--that's a serious eek

I never looked it like that.

[elucidate]

I don't know where you're seeing this. I haven't seen James say that a single time.

Then I'm afraid you must be blind. He's said it lots of times in this thread.

What if I do mind? Would you continue it then?

No

[Donkey1]

Whuh woe Donkey just revealed his inner turmoil sense of ruining stuff for everybawdy!

Yep. I like to break stuff. I'm that guy on the beach who steps on kids sand castles, and pretends like I never saw it.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Donkey1

Yep. I like to break stuff. I'm that guy on the beach who steps on kids sand castles, and pretends like I never saw it.

lmao

[rei]

Originally Posted by James81

<--that's a serious eek

I never looked it like that.

Whirl whirl grumble grumble stuff's happening

Yeah, not a fan of them. Honestly not a fan of big dramatic exits either, though I think LTL has a point and a chunk of this could be cultural differences leading to major overcorrection.

[Plays With Life]

Originally Posted by Mounds

I've run into some strange crap on this board. For instance, I've read that it's just dandy to kill people!
Now I read that it's on the woman to not feel offended when someone makes a lewd comment.
Say I'm walking down the street and someone hits me in the face with a shovel. I get a little upset and all the pedestrians start telling me to suck it up. Clearly the person with the shovel is the victim here... just look how bad he feels!

I don't think anyone has said that it's "on the woman" to not feel offended when someone makes a lewd comment. I think people mean to say that - the woman herself created the feeling of being offended. The person who made the comment didn't create that feeling in the woman. (ie, the person who made the comment doesn't have that power over the woman. Only the woman herself has the power to generate that feeling in themselves) The offended-experience was self-generated in *response* to the comment.

I really doubt anyone is thinking that carries out to meaning that the person who made the comment is a victim.

Getting hit in the face with a shovel sounds a bit different than experiencing some sound waves from across the street.

[rei]

Originally Posted by Donkey1

Yep. I like to break stuff. I'm that guy on the beach who steps on kids sand castles, and pretends like I never saw it.

Whoo hoo that's awesome of you. Awesome like a tornado. Oh wait, those really are awesome in a way.

[AlmostGodess]

Originally Posted by James81

You probably shouldn't post about your limits publicly then.

I know that when I post (and I post a LOT lol), I don't even begin to think I have any right to tell people how they should respond to my posts. I might try to clarify a post, or get into a debate on their responses, but I would never expect anyone to stop commenting on anything I post publicly unless it's a comment that I would approve of.

If I tell you what your limits are, for instance, it might help you to recognize that my telling you what your limits are really don't mean anything. Your reaction to it, though, says worlds about you. Just like my reaction to THIS says worlds about me.

Ok, James, I get it. I acknowledge it is smart what you are saying. And I see all those feelings that wake up in me when we have this discussion. But when a person is genuinely hurt, what is the point about insisting? Isn't it more humane to simply support that person and not teach her anything for the moment?