|10-08-2009, 12:43 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2008
"Hello, ATC (air traffic control) this is November 1 Tango Charlie, we have problems to deploy landing gear".
"ATC here, did you try manual deployment?".
"Yes, it did not work".
"Ok, then pray"
"No, no, no. You pray, jerks. We heading directly to the control tower..."
|10-08-2009, 04:59 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Boston, MA
The Cat, The Mice, And Heaven
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord.
The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."
The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven. Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.
The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"
The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.
The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"
The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
|10-13-2009, 12:36 AM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2009
Your advance is very good.
Telemarketing services companies and firms - Telemarketing company professionnals - outbound telemarketing lists for b2b lead generation
|10-18-2009, 06:46 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.
"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".
"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"
GOD says, "So you would like them."
"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"
"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.
The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"
GOD says, "So they would love you
|10-20-2009, 05:07 PM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2008
And this one is from Seinfeld.
Jerry : What are you wearing?
George : Cologne. Monica wants me to wear it.
Jerry: Why don't you say no?
George : 'Cos I am a nice guy. I can't say no. She also wants me to take an IQ test.
Jerry : That's because you are stupid enough to wear the cologne.
|07-27-2011, 08:33 AM||#17 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2011
"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."
|07-28-2011, 02:43 PM||#23 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2008
A woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,
"I love you so much; I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?"
She replies, "It's me ............. talking to the wine.”
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