Why do guys have such a hard life and what could our girls do to make it easier?

[Andy4]

Why do guys have such a hard life and what more could our girls do to make it just that little bit easier for us?

Okay girls, the report card reads like this.

SHE SHOWS PLENTY OF EFFORT BUT LACKS ATTENTION TO DETAIL. COULD DO BETTER.

Okay, keep you're aprons on, hear me out before you start reaching for you're keyboards.

So you think You've got it tough, hey. Full tme job, housework, then there's the kids.

Okay, so you have to carry them for nine months, suffer morning sickness, give birth to them. wet nurse them to the age of 18 and beyond. Okay, okay. STOP being martyrs for just one second and consider it from our perspective.

We are there at the conception. Now you may think this sounds like a raw deal, on you're part of course. But I'd like to see you lot perform after 10 pints of Stella and a portion of special fried rice with extra curry sauce. That's a typical example of what I'm getting at, we spoil you lot but what do we get in return, hey?

Advice for the L-Plate guys. (Come on, you know who you are. Wifey/girlfriend running you ragged. You permanently sport that puppy-dog-lost look, you know you've done something wrong, yet you're not quite sure what it is. Don't worry, she'll tell you when she's good and ready. However, RESIST the temptation to try and guess what it is, You are unlikely to guess correctly and thus run the risk of upsetting her further.)

The advice is this. If you're girl is immaculately clean in the bedroom and filthy dirty in the kitchen then you are doing something drastically wrong!

By the way, in my oppinion, all this equality malarky as gone way too far. You girls will be asking for equal pay for doing the same jobs as us next! As the world gone mad?

Here are a few suggestions on how to make our lives just that little bit easier. Take notes girls, by all means.

1. Seeing as you girls always leave for work after us and get home before us, you could put a couple of beers in the fridge for us on hot days or alternatively, warm our slippers by the fire for us on cold ones.

2. A folded paper napkin with our evening meal would be a nice touch.

3. Wear stockings to bed, NOT face packs. This would help with the performance thing. Do you see how all this is linking together?

Report card ammendment.


DOING GREAT, WHERE WOULD US GUYS BE WIYHOUT YOU? THANKS FOR YOU'RE LOVE, STRENGH AND SENSITIVITY.


This post is only a tease, seriously.


Oh no....I can see the P.C. brigade striding towards us in the distance, and they dont look happy!

Come on L-Plate guys, let's leg it down the pub. It's okay, I know you're girls haven't given you any pocket money this weekend. Don't worry, I'm buying.

If you ask me, that bloody Jimmy Choo's got a lot to answer for, hasn't he guys. £3k for one handbag, you've got to be having a laugh. That would buy you 1052.63 pints of Stella!, that's obscene.

You see girls, I'm making this far too easy for you. Giving you vital insights into the male psyche. Always remember, us guys always value everything in terms of the price of a pint of lager. I might as well print the answers upside down on the back of the exam paper and have done with it!

Down at the pub....5 pints and 3 missed calls later.

Oh no, that's the wife's car pulling into the car park, I've got to go boys.....

Hello, sweatpea, you look nice, everything okay.....?

Sratches side of his head, bites bottom lip. (non-visual body language. How clever is that James81? - winks left eye. Okay, I'll stop doing that now.) Hmm.....I pray to God that pawnshops's still open.


(Calm down, Xanafax, I said PAWN-shop!)


TOO BE CONTINUED....hopefully.


Now, I know you girls will take this send up as a bit of fun. You're sense of humour is one of the things we love most about you on this forum. I'm offering a bottle of Archers, or a similarly priced fruit-based drink for the wittiest reply fom a girl.

For the boys, it's a case of Stella Artois. Alright Brutha, if you, ballhit2, or one of our other male German members win it, I'll exchange it for a case of Heinekin, okay.....Hmm, I wonder.....what's the likelihood of me having to lug that case of Stella back to the off-licence this weekend.....?



The above article was written with the best of intentions. I sincerely hope no-one was offended by it in any way. If anyone was offended, then please accept my sincere apologies.



Regards, Steve Pavlina.



Erin, when you've finished hauling the groceries in from the car, can you stick the kettle on love, a man could die of thirst in this place.

Hmm.....potentially I could take a lot of flak over this article. The final of 'the world series' is on T.V. this weekend and I could do without the hassle. The beers are already chilling in the fridge, I saw Erin putting them in earlier, she's getting there bless her......SLOWLY BUT SURELY. That's the Pavlina family motto. So the last thing I need is a load of grief from the P.C. brigade.

Erin love, before you start in on the gardening can you take 5 and come and cast you're eyes over this for me. By the way, did you manage to chop up all that firewood?

Goddammit, I don't believe it.... HOW MANY TIMES have I told those techno guys, I want a WARNING MESSAGE on this stupid, stupid submission button!... Oh well, what's done's done.

Erin, just one more thing, honey. I know you're busy but could you make sure that all my calls get diverted over to Bruce Achterberg's gaff this weekend.

By the way, I forgot to ask, How are you enjoying you're day off?

Now where was I.....


P...O...L...Y...A...M...O...R...Y.


Now this one'll really blow their socks off.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Andy4

The above article was written with the best of intentions. I sincerely hope no-one was offended by it in any way. If anyone was offended, then please accept my sincere apologies.

of course i´m offended!! What were you thinking? That you could just say all this filthy insinuations and there would be no consequenses? I´m not sure an appology is sufficient this time...






Implying that the national DUTCH pride is actually german... pfffffff

[ballhit2]

1. Seeing as you girls always leave for work after us and get home before us, you could put a couple of beers in the fridge for us on hot days or alternatively, warm our slippers by the fire for us on cold ones.

2. A folded paper napkin with our evening meal would be a nice touch.

3. Wear stockings to bed, NOT face packs. This would help with the performance thing. Do you see how all this is linking together?

I prefer the folded paper napkin after supplying the face pack. Beer first or after.