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01-20-2009, 07:16 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Clearwater, FL; United States
Posts: 272
 |  So I, uh, walked into a bar, the other day...
The subsequent dentist-appointment's set for next week.
Last edited by Alfonso Crawford; 01-20-2009 at 07:25 AM. Reason: clarification |
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01-20-2009, 10:06 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 1,135
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Two termites walk into a bar and ask, "Hey! Is the bartender here?" An oldie but goodie: A piece of string walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! You're a piece of string! We don't serve your kind here!" The string steps outside, bends over and musses his hair wildly. He walks back in, and the bartender says, "Aren't you the piece of string I just threw out of here?" The string says, "I'm afraid not!" Really oldie but goodie: A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we've got a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "Why would anyone name a drink Bob?" |
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01-21-2009, 09:35 AM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: on God's beautiful earth, in heaven :), & you?
Posts: 483
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02-06-2009, 08:30 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 107
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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Quick! Gimme a double Crown Royal before the trouble starts!" The bartender pours him a drink, which he gulps hurriedly. "That'll be $11.50." says the bartender. "Uh oh," says the man. "Trouble!"
__________________ I wish in the past I had tried more things 'cause now I know being in trouble is a fake idea. -Ray Smuckles |
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02-06-2009, 10:05 PM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: USA/GEORGIA
Posts: 2,128
| Quote:
__________________ We can do no great things ;only small things with great love -Mother Theresa | |
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02-10-2009, 04:21 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 1,135
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This guy walks into a bar and sees a pirate with a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch. So he asked how he got them. The pirate said "Well, I got the peg leg from the sharks eatin' my leg off, got the hook from gettin' me hand chopped off in a duel, an' I got the eye patch from a seagull poopin' in me eye." The guy replied "You lost your eye to seagull droppings?!'' and the pirate said, "Well it was me first day with the hook."
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02-10-2009, 07:10 PM
| #11 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: May 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,479
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02-15-2009, 03:58 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 674
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fella walks into a bar and orders 2 pints. Takes the over to a table and gets ont with drinking them. The next day he dos the same thing. The bartender gets curious and asks why he does that. The fella explains that his brother had gone abroad with the armed forces. They always used to have a drink together so he is continuing the tradition. One day he comes in and only orders one beer. The bartender fears the worst and expresses his appologies, the fella says 'no nothing like that. My brother is fine, the problem is that i've quit drinking' |
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02-15-2009, 04:13 AM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Home
Posts: 1,305
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This is a new one I heard a few weeks ago. A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'll pay you $100 if you let me urinate all over the bar, but you can't say anything." Then he goes outside and says to his friend, "I bet you $500 that I can go into this bar, piss all over the bar and the bartender won't say a word."
__________________ AndrewBrunelle.com--Getting back in touch with the Earth and being human, one blog post at a time. Facebook|Myspace |
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02-17-2009, 04:25 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 107
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Two guys were sitting at a bar and one says to the other, "You know what has five teeth, weighs 300 pounds and has hairy armpits?" "No." says the second man. "Your mama!" says the first. So the second guy is outraged and wants to take the first outside for an a** whoopin. The first guy says, "Whoa, it's just a joke! Now you have something good to get your buddies with." So the second guy calms down and later on one of his friends sits down next to him. "You know what has five teeth, weighs 300 pounds and has hairy armpits?" The guy asks his friend. "No." the friend answers. The guy grins and says, "My mama!"
__________________ I wish in the past I had tried more things 'cause now I know being in trouble is a fake idea. -Ray Smuckles |
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