Dog eats Steve's book - now we write funny captions about it

[Bruce Achterberg]

Dog attacks Steve Pavlina's book—3 times!

I am working my way through Steve’s book as we speak. Well not strictly speaking as we speak because I’m typing this, but you know what I mean. It is intriguing to date with some good stuff in there, but I wanted to ask you this pertinent question.

My dog has attacked the book, not once, not twice, but three times! What does this tell us do you think?

[Source]

Our duty as funny people is to make up humourous captions explaining why the dog attacked the book.

Do them in the format of:

A dog attacked Steve Pavlina's PDSP book—3 times.

[insert humourous caption(s) here]

Here are mine:

A dog attacked Steve Pavlina's PDSP book—3 times.

The chapter on Authority probably hit a sore spot.

His owner was hogging it.

His owner was spending more time with the book than him.

He caught his owner saying, "Screw dogs--Steve Pavlina is man's best friend."

His owner bought the book instead of treats.

The dog, a devout Christian, read the chapter on spirituality.

He was eager to consume the ideas.

He heard that vegans taste better.

His owner confessed that talking him for a walk wasn't the path that had a heart.

His owner refused to talk him for a walk down the path that had a heart.

After reading the book his owner gets up to take him on daily runs at 4AM, espousing that the company will increase their alignment with Love.

His thought his owner was making quips when he "dog eared" some pages.

He was using progressive training to improve his attack skills.

He went vegan after reading and no longer enjoyed eating his meaty treats.

The dog claimed that the book started it. He had just read the chapter on Courage.

Share your humourous captions!

[Plato]

Holy Moly, that's a lot you came up with Bruceyberg. The last one is my favourite. And the authority one. Hahaha.

All I can think of is,

A dog attacked Steve Pavlina's PDSP book—3 times.

The dog remains in denial about his need to take responsibility.

Oneness or not, loving cats is unnacceptable.

Between eat, wee on, hump and slobber on, the dog made a snap decision on what form of affection to show his favourite book.

He hadn't felt so complete since his puppy days - chew first, assume innocence later.

[seeker5]

Oneness or not, loving cats is unnacceptable.

LOL

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Plato

Holy Moly, that's a lot you came up with Bruceyberg.

You win my award for most original wording of my name.

[danas]

Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg

You win my award for most original wording of my name.

that is the funniest thing I read all day. I cant stop laughing

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Bruce Achterberg

You win my award for most original wording of my name.

Words and smileys cannot describe my emotions right now. I just want to thank God, my family, the squirrel that inspired me once, God and you Bruce for selecting me for this award. Have a safe journey home everyone.