How to Survive when lost in the desert

[Revolution]

Have you ever tried those random story generators where you are asked to give a few verbs,adjectives, etc?
I think its hilarious...




My Dream Girl

The girl of my dreams has table hair scented like sticks. Her eyes are like two adequate pools of water. And her lips remind me of strange tablets. Her skin is as smooth and lovely as a/an awesome brick, and she has a figure like David. When she enters a room, people always stare at her and say, "smaaaaack! What a/an creepy woman!" Her sense of humor is always weird, and people marvel at her sexy vocabulary. In my dreams I see her wearing a/an nice dress and a diamond bed in her hair. I would gladly give up all my marbles for one evening with this saucy female. Her name is Andrea.

How to Survive when Lost in the Desert

Though rare in Afghanistan, deserts actually cover about 505% of the earth's terrain. Should you ever find yourself lost in the desert, here are some strange steps you can follow to make it out alive.

1) Your best chance for survival will be to signal for help. If you see a/an tank, try signalling with a small handheld balloon or other shiny object. You should also try to make big fires, if possible.

2) Though you will likely be hot, wear a/an socks and a/an underpants that covers most of your body. It is also important to keep your penis covered. This will preserve your body's moisture.

3) Try to drink plenty of Coca-cola, if you have it. If not, look for it. Check near the base of cans or try to find a/an shrub. The sloppy meat of the plant, or pith, actually contains reserves of slime. Most of all, don't panic; people have been known to survive in the desert for 666 day(s)!

How to Win a Sword Fight

You may have seen sword fighting in a movie like The Three boobs or Zorro: The bouncy Blade, where swashbuckling vaginas hit all around the room while screaming, "smaaaack!" But in real life, sword fighting is not as strange as people like Brad Pitt make it look on the big screen. Sword fighting requires a keen genitals and the reflexes of a/an wolf. A good sword fighter moves quickly and is constantly punching their opponent.
Even when an opponent tries to climb you with his stone, you must charge forward, meeting his mountains as he throws them. And never draw your dildo back over your anus; this is extremely large. It's important to also remember, when sword fighting for sport, one should always wear a/an bra over one's neck to avoid serious injury.

[Bruce Achterberg]

I don't really get it.

Also, please do try to credit your sources (at least, it seems like you had a source).

[pkeod]

I think his post was meant as a joke

[Kazeko]

LOL

I want such a story generator too! Please give me a link.

Bruce, the idea is simple. You are asked for some single words (like "an animal", "something liquid") and then a generator puts those words in places, making funny stories. I've never knew that such a funny thing existed, so I'll go google for it

[pkeod]

That's right! Ad libitum! Wacky Web Tales You can make your own stories here :P

[Kazeko]

Thanks!

My Story:

Summer Fun
Every summer, people head to Lake Kazeko near Vegas. There are so many things to do at the lake. Lots of people snorkel, hoping to catch a glimpse of the warm panthers that live in the lake.

On Saturdays, people have swimming relay races. Each team has 17 members. Swimmers carry palms that are passed from one team member to the next. The winning team is awarded drinks and girls. Lots of people come to watch the races. They cheer on teams by shouting, “OMG!!”

After the races, people paddle their stallions around the lake. Then everyone comes back to shore for a picnic of pizza sandwiches and salad sundaes. Someone usually plays the baloon while people eat.

People are sad when the summer ends. But everyone looks forward to the next summer at Lake Kazeko when they can snorkel above the warm panthers, swim for prizes of drinks and girls, and paddle their stallions.

I especially love the "The winning team is awarded drinks and girls." sentence

[Kazeko]

Another story (this time I'm too lazy to highlight words entered by me, but it must be obvious enough )

The Beach
Hooray! Summer is finally here, and that means we can go to the beach! Today, my family is going to St.Louis Beach, and I can bring a friend with me. I decide to invite my best friend Vicky. I know Vicky will want to go with us. She thinks going to the beach is hot!

We start our beach day by watching the sunrise, and then eating breakfast at Uncle beast's Pancake Hut. I always get pie flavored pancakes.

After breakfast we carry the waves, go doing for seashells, and kiss a sandcastle. Then we eat the lunch we packed for the beach. It's my favorite—banana sandwiches. The only time banana sandwiches are not so astonishing is when you drop them in the sand.

By midnight, everyone's had enough of the beach. But St.Louis Beach is fun at night, too! There is a really groovy boardwalk. It's always crowded with people. Would you believe we saw my teacher Steve Pavlina there, eating a huge banana split?

There are a lot of cool shops on the boardwalk. You can get a little hermit crocodile, but make sure your mom and dad say it's okay! My favorite store is the jewelry store. Vicky and I each buy a rope bracelet that will perform when it gets wet. Pretty easy!

By 8:00, we're all ready to head home. I usually fall asleep on the ride home. I can't wait to go to St.Louis Beach again.


........

St.Louis beach must be as cool as Lake Kazeko in Vegas