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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 07:16 AM
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Default [might be offensive] Religious Truths

I just found a postcard among my paper mess that I found hilarious. I'm sorry if someone feels offended by it. I don't mean to be disrespectful, it's just funny. So here it is:



RELIGIOUS TRUTHS

TAOISM:
Sh*t happens.

BUDDHISM:
If sh*t happens, it isn't really sh*t.

HINDUISM:
This sh*t has happened before.

ISLAM:
If sh*t happens, it is the will of Allah.

CATHOLICISM:
Sh*t happens because you deserve it.

PROTESTANTISM:
Let sh*t happen to somebody else.

JUDAISM:
Why does sh*t always happen to us?


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Old 07-25-2008, 07:30 AM
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That's a pretty solid description! I imagine we could easily expand this list though.

Jainaism:
Quit sh*tting on everything!

Satanism:
Sh*t. No loopholes in this contract!

Christianity:
God, Jesus was the sh*t!
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 08:08 AM
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New Age:
Sh*t happens to you because you attracted it into your reality with your negative vibrations.

hmmm.. is that New Age??
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:23 AM
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I think new age is:
Sh*t, what did my guru tell me to do again?

:P

and of course, for the enlightened, brevity is the soul of wit:
Sh*t!
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Old 07-25-2008, 12:04 PM
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ATHEISM:
Life is sh*t, then you die.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 01:01 PM
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Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this sh*t
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WanderingOak View Post
Rastafarianism:
Let's smoke this sh*t
hahahahahhahahahahahaha

Intelligent Design:
Sh*t Exists, therefore God exists.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:41 PM
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Landmark Education:
That's sh*t, I get it, thank you. {{applause}}
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 02:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angela View Post
Landmark Education:
That's sh*t, I get it, thank you. {{applause}}
Sorry... don't get it!
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Kaminski View Post
Sorry... don't get it!
Landmark Forum:
If you want to get this sh*t, you have to do the Forum! {{applause}}


Okay then, how about Angelism:

Take on 100% responsibility for all the sh*t!
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 03:10 PM
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I thought Angelism was:
I can fly AND play the harp?! Sh******t!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 03:15 PM
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Maybe I should have said "Angelaism".
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 03:34 PM
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Default Here's a classic.

I sh*t. Therefore, I am.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 04:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dannyboy1 View Post
I sh*t. Therefore, I am.
Ha! Exshitstentialism!

No, wait, that would be Exis-stench-alism.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 04:42 PM
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Default You can't offend me...

I'm an Athe-sh*t-st.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 04:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dannyboy1 View Post
I'm an Athe-sh*t-st.
"The likelihood of the existence of that sh*t is so low as to be insignificant."
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 07-25-2008, 06:07 PM
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Hahaha. I've seen that before.

All these different uses of the word sh*t made me think of this...(not really related at all, but hilarious )

YouTube - OSHO - Strange Consequences
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Old 07-26-2008, 09:13 PM
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Agnosticism: I don't know sh*t.
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Last edited by Lanya : 07-26-2008 at 09:15 PM.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 07-26-2008, 09:27 PM
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Subjective Reality: I put this sh*t there.

Darkworker: This sh*t is for me.
Lightworker: This sh*t is for others.

Steve Pavlina: You must do the sh*t that you fear
Abraham Hicks: You attract the sh*t into your life by your vibration.
Eckard Tolle: This sh*t is not you. You are the one looking at the sh*t.
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Last edited by seeker5 : 07-27-2008 at 12:01 AM.
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  #20 (permalink)  
Old 07-26-2008, 11:52 PM
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Oh I like this game

Louse Hay
You can heal your sh*t


Bryon Katie
I shouldn't have this sh*it in my life. Is that really true?


EFT
Tap the sh*tty feellings away



Raw Food Diet
Your sh*t smells of papaya!
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 07-27-2008, 12:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Holistic Star View Post
EFT
Tap the sh*tty feellings away
Hilarious!
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 07-27-2008, 12:02 AM
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Erin Pavlina: I can tune in to the sh*t.

David Allen: Collect sh*t, process sh*t, organize sh*t, review sh*t, do sh*t.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 07-27-2008, 12:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker5 View Post
You are the one looking at the sh*t.
hah I liked this one.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 07-27-2008, 06:05 AM
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Existentialism: Ultimately you have to sh*t your own sh*t.

Steve Pavlina: Get this sh*t out in half the time!
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 07-28-2008, 04:42 PM
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Robert Kiyosaki: Is this sh*t is a liability or an asset?
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 07-28-2008, 08:34 PM