Ruin A Wish

[Beloved]

Granted but your dreams will be so dull and boring you'll keep pinching yourself to wake up and when you eventually wake up you will be completely covered in tiny bruises that everyone will think are hickeys.

I wish I could get the family to help clean up after dinner.

[Lola]

Granted but they do it by adding a dozen cats to the household and letting them lick the dinner plates clean.

I wish my mother's calls would not always include the topic of who died this week.

[jamestl2]

Granted, but now she's talking about everyone who was born this week.

I wish I could play the electric guitar really well (and do all kinds of crazy solos )

[Beloved]

Granted but only with your tongue which causes callouses to form, making it impossible for you to speak properly and your tongue no longer fit in your mouth.

I wish I could meditate without falling asleep.

[Mark Lapierre]

Granted. You're now only able to meditate for a minute before you get too restless and have to get up and move around.

I wish so many people weren't so wilfully ignorant.

[Matthew Shea]

Granted, but their solutions to our world's problems are so much different than yours that it creates a culture you can't stand to live in.

I wish I could get 3 months worth of projects done in the 15 minutes before I leave today.

[Mark Lapierre]

Granted, but all of them fail a few days after completion and you spend 6 months cleaning up the mess.

I wish I could tell stories well.

[Dan.Linehan]

Granted, you are detained and held as a terrorist for 15 years to provide some good, harrowing story-telling material.

I wish I took absolute joy in my career.

[The David]

You'll be fired long before that will ever happen.

I wish I had a terminal illness.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Granted, but just at the last second before you die, you are cured.

I wish I had a book that told me everything I needed to know for this life.

[Mark Lapierre]

Granted. It tells you in an alien language.

I wish I had a perfect memory, but could also temporarily forget things when I wanted to, for as long as I wanted to.

[Blueskied]

ouch. 34del

[Blueskied]

Originally Posted by Mark Lapierre

I wish I had a perfect memory, but could also temporarily forget things when I wanted to, for as long as I wanted to.

Granted: Too bad you forgot about this excellent ability by mistake.

I wish i were a famous PD guru inspiring millions of people.

[Beloved]

Granted but they all move in with you.

I wish I was able to do handstands.

[jamestl2]

Granted, but they end up breaking your wrists and you have to see the doctor and pay the $100,000 medical bill.

I wish my pillow would stay cool all night, every night.

[jaydeschizo]

Granted, but you wake up with your head frozen to your pillow because you drooled in your sleep.

I wish I had eternal life.

[Dan.Linehan]

Granted, but you still age just the same.

I wish I played professional tennis.

[jamestl2]

Granted, but you end up fooling yourself into early retirement due to your horrible serving skills.

I wish more people would post their wishes in this thread