Religious Humor

[Angela]

.....diverting from another thread......

...Actually, that's something that was always missing for me in christianity -- a sense of humor. Jewish culture, and the Jewish people I know, have a ton of humor! even during their services! But the other religions are really a glum lot. Matthew Shea is pretty funny, but he's kind of an anomaly, isn't he? I'm going to look for examples of christian humor. Anyone know of any?

I've heard plenty of examples of humor related to the Jewish faith, but the only humorous stories about christianity tend to be, well, you know, man-boy-love related, and that's not what I'm looking for here -- too mean-spirited. what about humor that christians or muslims or etc. themselves propagate?

The only thing I can think of is, "The Dalai Lama walked into a Der Weinerschnitzel and said, Make me One with Everything!"

Ok, top that if you dare.

[Lola]

OK - I'll play - because *irreverent* is my middle name!

~~~

Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the accused woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and sighed: "Mom, sometimes you really tick me off."

[Akashic_Librarian]

Haha I like that!

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."

2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."
1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 AD - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 AD - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 AD - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

[Matthew Shea]

Oh, it's not at all uncommon for Catholic priests to tell jokes and funny stories during their sermons. It's typically pretty tame stuff, but it's a lot more frequent than you might think.

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God...'."

Oh, and I'd like to think I'm far from an anomaly. The people I associate with at church typically have a very good sense of humor. My mom's best friend's father always teases my wife and I that he NEVER though we'd make it together past 1 year (it's been 6 now). He'll tell us how he lost money on us, since we stuck together this long. Before we had our son, he'd nudge me and say quietly "It's not too late to leave, you know." Funny considering how the Church views divorce.

[Angela]

You got a good one, Matthew! My church going experience as a kid was extremely somber. Being funny would have been considered an affront against god. Even now, the catholics in my old neighborhood are very stodgy humor-wise, and they start looking around for lightning bolts at the first hint of an irreverant giggle.

Towards the end of my mom's life, she went back to the church and started saying confession. My brothers and I were all dying to know what sins she had to confess! But she refused to divulge. My brother said, "Yeah, if she tells us, they won't come true!"

Even she laughed.

[cdn2wheeler]

One among the myriad of reasons I stopped going to services was the dour, lemon-faced aspect of so many of the folks there. It seemed that many of them lived in abject terror that someone, somewhere, might actually be enjoying themselves.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

The church I go to has a very funny pastor. He is actually witty and can deliver a joke. A lot of crusty Christian types are quite offended by him. I love it.

[Matthew Shea]

A young church with a lot of families, like mine and like my parents' church, is likely to have a very social atmosphere these days. I've been to ones with primarily older people and it's a lot like you describe, Angela. A lot depends on the pastor and a lot depends on the type of people attending church at any given place.

Also, I don't know how long it's been since you went to church as a kid, but the closer you get to the Vatican II conference, the stodgier it's going to be. People in general, both clergy and laity, have loosened up a lot recently. A lot of the pre-Vatican II folks are always going to be much too uptight, especially the ones who still bemoan the loss of the Latin mass, but even a lot of them have relaxed a bit, like the guy I mentioned above.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Matthew Shea

Oh, it's not at all uncommon for Catholic priests to tell jokes and funny stories during their sermons. It's typically pretty tame stuff, but it's a lot more frequent than you might think.

Must be your church. I don't ever remember my Catholic Church priest telling any joke, and the Catholic School I went to definitely wasn't funny and I don't remember any teachers, least of all the religious teacher, having a sense of humor.

[Matthew Shea]

I know for a fact that it's not just my church. I've known many priests with sense of humor. When I was going to grade school in the '80s, my parents actually went out to dinner with the pastor, Fr. O'Neill and the assistant priest, Fr. Ron Cyprus (rest his soul). Fr. Ron was saying that in his family's native country, his name is pronounced "Ship-rishh". Fr. O'Neill starting calling him "Sh!t-rich" (only privately, though).

The priest that married my wife and I was well known for his humor. In fact, he was friends with a Baptist pastor (which admittedly IS a bit unusual). This pastor asked him to preach to his congregation one Sunday. He had already prepared a homily about the Virgin Mary for that Sunday, so he decided to give it. If you know anything about Baptists and Catholics, Catholics hold the Virgin Mary in MUCH higher regard than Baptists. So not only did that take some serious guts, but he had the congregation at my parents' church nearly in tears laughing when he was telling the story of what happened (it went surprisingly well, for the record). This is the same guy who once incorporated an empty 40 oz. beer bottle into a sermon.

The pastor of my church almost always opens with a joke or a funny story. Before coming to my church, he was the rector of Detroit's cathedral, so he's pretty close to the archbishop.

The current pastor of my parents' church as well as the current assistant pastor are both constantly making quips and jokes in their sermons.

I should add that, while these men all have a good sense of humor, they're all very respectful where they should be and are very careful to maintain propriety during the mass, so there's never any disrespect.

So this isn't just my experience I'm talking about. Not by a long shot.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Matthew Shea

I know for a fact that it's not just my church.

Maybe Catholic priest are humourous just in your state then. You live several states away from where I've lived. Remember, just because something is true in your and your friends experience does not make it true for the entire world.

[Matthew Shea]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Maybe Catholic priest are humourous just in your state then. You live several states away from where I've lived. Remember, just because something is true in your and your friends experience does not make it true for the entire world.

Point taken. I never claimed that every priest had a good sense of humor, though, just that they do exist, contrary to what seems to be the perception here.

[Angela]

Well, if I'm ever born again, I'm moving to Detroit!

[Matthew Shea]

We'd be happy to have you! I don't know if we'd have a job for you at this point, but hey, come on over! Maybe the General will start hiriing again between now and then.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, if I'm ever born again, I'm moving to Detroit!

heh me too. .

[Michael Chui]

Main Page - LOLCat Bible Translation Project

In dem dayz caem John Teh Baptizt, preachin in teh wilderness of Judea, And sayin "ZOMG, Kingdom Of Heven am at hand! Repent! For dis is he dat teh profet Esaias was speekin of, sayin Teh voice of teh one cryin in teh wilderness, Prepare teh way of teh Lord guise, make his pats strayt.

- Matthew 3:1-3

[Angela]

Very amusing! Would christians find LOLcat bible translation funny? How about the link Dan Linehan posted awhile ago with "Jezuz is raizin da ROOF!" -- so funny.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I still consider myself a Christian and I think it's hilarious.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Angela

Very amusing! Would christians find LOLcat bible translation funny? How about the link Dan Linehan posted awhile ago with "Jezuz is raizin da ROOF!" -- so funny.

As near as I can tell, it has very strong fidelity to English translations from which it is undoubtedly derived (as opposed to the original Hebrew/Aramaic/Greek). So any problem Christians would have would come from a dislike of either LOLcats or pairing the sacred with the vulgar.

Vulgate, ho! :P

[Angela]

Yeah, even recovering catholics like Danger Man still get a little squeagy about that vulgar/sacred thing. He got a little uncomfortable when I wrote an episode for his sexy cooking show that featured Jesus as a pizza delivery boy showing up in answer to a young woman's prayers.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I would be thrilled if Jesus brought me pizza! We could down a few slices and discuss the meaning of life.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I would be thrilled if Jesus brought me pizza! We could down a few slices and discuss the meaning of life.

I know! Wouldn't it be great? And you could just serve tapwater and rely on your guest to turn it into a really good Cabernet!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I don't really enjoy wine...maybe he could turn it into a margarita?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

I don't really enjoy wine...maybe he could turn it into a margarita?

I'm pretty sure he could do a good Bloody Mary.

[The David]

Originally Posted by Angela

I'm pretty sure he could do a good Bloody Mary.

Well, I doubt that it was a smooth delivery, him being God and all.

[Matthew Shea]

Originally Posted by Angela

I'm pretty sure he could do a good Bloody Mary.

Grooooaaaannnn!

The LOLBible thing is too funny, though!