Abortion (Blog)

[dali]

I found your article very interesting but still cant make up my mind. Having been brought up Catholic I cannot seem to get rid of the idea that abortion is wrong. I have talked two women I know out of aborting their babies in my lifetime. Both of these women have come to thank me. Once in fact one of the girls who would have been aborted thanked me for talking her mother out of it. She had been told at some point by her mother that abortion had been considered and the story of how her friend, a gay man ,had managed to talk her out of it.They both bumped into me in the street one day about sixteen years later and thanked me together telling me with great joy in their faces that they thought of each other as the best thing that had ever happened to each other in their lives!!

I have known women who have aborted their babies and have seen great suffering in them. Once I went to a hospital to meet a friend to help her home after she had had an abortion. I dont think I have ever been witness to a lonelier scene.As she left the hospital she said goodbye to the two nurses who had assisted at the procedure. I saw her do this. They did not notice her and unwittingly did not acknowledge her. In my work in the past too I have been involved with women who were trying to deal with the aftermath of abortion. It is such a difficult subject and I would never point the finger at anyone in relation to it. I have encountered a few callous health practitioners though but never a woman who took this course of action lightly. I liked your article, Erin but our spiritual understandings differ considerably and my Catholic appreciation of life although considerably sympathetic with yours is not quite in accord and I do not have the freedom in my beliefs to accept abortion as an act of love although I get your point and honour it. I guess its because we think the soul is present from conception. Sometimes though I wonder if its just fear that keeps me "stuck" with this belief, However I am not a closed book (yet!) and have as illustrated been present to a few women one time or another for whom abortion has been an issue. Hopefully though in a loving, supportive way.I am heartened by your article as I do feel protective of souls coming into the world . It must be quite a journey from heaven to the womb.Mothers are such WONDERFUL beings.

[velvet1]

Don't remember where I read this, I think I have an idea of the book. But it had a reference where it said that when a female gets pregnant and she aborts for some reason. But then gets pregnant again and decides to have the baby the first baby that was aborted returns on the next pregnancy. When I mean it returns I mean the same soul. Anyone knows about this?

[JSB]

Originally Posted by velvet1

Don't remember where I read this, I think I have an idea of the book. But it had a reference where it said that when a female gets pregnant and she aborts for some reason. But then gets pregnant again and decides to have the baby the first baby that was aborted returns on the next pregnancy. When I mean it returns I mean the same soul. Anyone knows about this?

I know of a qigong master whose wife was forced by the Chinese government to have an abortion (2nd child).

When he and his wife moved to the United States some years later, she became pregnant again, and he said that the soul of their daughter was the same soul as that of the aborted baby. So, maybe there is some truth to it.

[gemabeam09010805]

This is part of a school project my partner and I have to do, so no comments back are necessary. MY partner and I are very Pro-Life. My partners situation isn't like mine, but her opinion is very strong. She feels that abortion is wrong. It disturbed her when reading that it is used as a form of birth control. She believes everyone deserves a chance and mothers deserve a second chance. The fetus is still a person and still has a soul, and the soul has a right to life. Since she knows the point of view I come from and knows my story, she completely agrees and thinks adoption is the appropriate alternative.

Abortion. Scary thought, for me especially.
Reading through these could convince anyone to take either side, but I am sticking to what I believe in and that is PRO-LIFE. I am against abortion because I was adopted and could have easily been aborted because of my situation.
I am 18 years old and grew up in an amazing home with two loving parents and two wonderfuly siblings: my brother and sister, who were also adopted.
All three of our situations are different and God bless my parents for choosing to save our lives.
My biological mother was 14 when she became pregnant and my father was 21. She was 15 when she had me and it was a mess...
The day I was born, they tried to get my birth father to the hospital to sign my birth certificate, but he refused saying I wasn't his child. The family then had to threaten him with sagatory rape in order to get him to sign, and he did.
The families had never gotten along from day one, so youc an imagine the trouble this would have aroused.
Seeing the comments above and reading the "what-ifs" still does not convince me. My mother was young and alone after my birth. My father denied I was his child and the families hated each other. To me, this sounds like it had high potential to consider abortion...
Luckily, they didn't. They chose an open adoption and I now keep in contact with my birth familes though I don't know much about all of them. There is still a lot of bitterness and I have only met my grandparents for my mom's side once & they are divorced.
Though my father denied me, he was in my life before my birth mom decided to be. I saw him every summer until he moved out of state. It was just a couple years ago that my birth mother finally started to talk to me and make a point to see me.
She still is struggling with it and always will, but that doesn't mean what she did was wrong. It hurts me to see the turn her life made, but I know she is satisfied with her decision. She is struggling with money and my father owns a club in Tennessee and is always with different women. Two environments I am glad I wasn't brought up in.
Pregnancies happen and people act on impulse.
Because of the decision she made, I am here today with an amazing family and I have been very successful.
Adding to this, my adoptive parents had a rare case because they adopted not one, but three children, all from different families, and all are open adoptions. We are able to keep in contact with everyone whenever we'd like and it has turned out great.
Abortion isn't the option. Sure, there are circumstances where it feels like it's the only right thing to do, but it's not. If you don't want the child, adopt. I am from a different perspective and feel very strongly about it. It can be a closed adoption if that is more comfortable.
I personally would feel better knowing my child is out in the world somewhere and happy rather than not giving him/her a chance at all.
This is how I feel and I am sticking to it.

[Betrade]

Here's a male POV on the subject.

When I was in my 20's, I got a girl pregnant who I barely even knew (I'm no longer into casual sex at all BTW; as a direct result of this experience).

I chose to go along with her and abort. She rationalized that she already had two kids and I went along with it; but I knew without a doubt that what we were doing was wrong. The conscience never lies; and mine was telling me that this was as wrong as wrong could be. I had no excuse no matter how much I tried to rationalize that inner voice away.

I could have easily stopped it with less than 5 words had I chosen to. It was THE worst decision I have ever made, hands down. We actually stayed together, got married and had two sons (later separated), and when they came along, the guilt of that abortion ate me alive even more for a very long time. It still does sometimes. I love my kids more than anything in this world and the thought that I would have had another child is still hard to live with. It took at least 20 years for me to be able to forgive myself.

IMO, it's the most evil thing I have ever done, and the worst part is; it's final. You can't go back once it's done no matter how much you regret your decision. Even if she and I hadn't remained together, we could have at least given the child to a family who wanted a a child, but we took the "easy way out". There's nothing easy about carrying around the fact that you had your baby destroyed by choice.

I advise anyone considering abortion to think long and hard, to talk to others who have taken that route and pick their brains, and no matter how bad the situation is, there's always the adoption option. You'll never regret bringing a life into this world even if you have to give it up to a good home, but you'll almost certainly regret destroying one; and that regret can last a lifetime.

I also learned that abortion does not "protect" women in any way, shape or form. It demeans them in a terrible way. Caring for a woman through a pregnancy and raising your child in a loving way is the best way to protect a woman; not allowing her to kill her baby out of 'convenience". There's nothing convenient about having a guilty conscience for years, if not for life.

This is why I support parental consent laws as well. A 14 year old (or whatever age) who has an abortion in secret does not come home the same (an understatement) and I believe that parents have a right to know what's wrong with their child so they can help that child. If they have no idea what that child has been through there's not much that they can do.

I was delivering a job I did to a customer one day about 5 years ago and the business was located right next door to a Planned Parenthood clinic. There was a young girl standing there crying; who looked like she was debating whether or not she should walk through that door.

I walked over and said "hi", and asked if she was okay. She stared balling and telling me that her boyfriend wanted her to abort and she didn't want to because she knew that it was wrong. I told her "You don't HAVE to do what you're considering; there are other options". Then I told her of my experience and how much I regretted allowing it to happen when I could have stopped it. I didn't tell her what to do. I only told her how my experience turned out and that she better deeply consider the consequences.

She told me that she had prayed for someone just to either show that they cared or to talk her out of it and that I must have been the answer to her prayer at that moment. She calmed down a bit and said that she was going to have her baby no matter how hard it may be or if her boyfriend dumped her as a result. She had realized that if he really loved her he wouldn't have put her in a position to make such a huge decision on her own. He wasn't even with her. I then gave her a phone number of a church I know of that will supply anyone with baby supplies for as long as they need them and made her promise to call if she needed anything. I also gave her my number, but never heard from her.

I have to admit that I kinda' felt a little bit 'redeemed" from my own stupid and evil choice; and I also felt good that she hadn't made the same mistake that I had made. I honestly felt that I had helped in a small way to save an innocent life. I think, or should I say; I KNOW that if many women just knew that someone cared and that help was available, we would see fewer abortions taking place.

WE'll never end abortion through legislation. We have to make people understand what it is they're actually doing, what lies they're being told (by omission in many cases, such as the fact that abortion practitioners NEVER mention how people are emotionally affected after the fact), and the benefits of choosing life.

Many young girls (and guys) are looking for unconditional love, and there's no love like the love between a parent and child; at least, that's been my experience. If we just educate properly and honestly, abortion could eventually become an action of last resort. I would advise anyone considering abortion to really do their homework and some very deep soul searching before making that choice because there's no going back once it's done.

[ldh]

From a female POV, I've had 2 abortions. Although I utterly regret my stupidity (getting myself into those situations), I do not in any way regret having the abortions. Certainly, my regret is that I got pregnant in the first place ---- but I'm not sorry at all for the abortion. If I could go back in time, I would do the same thing.

[Cochonette]

Having an abortion doesn't create your emotional reaction. YOU create your emotional reaction to the abortion. If women think they will be extremely sad about the abortion because they wanted the child, then they shouldn't get an abortion. If they are comfortable with an abortion and want one, I don't see why not, as long as they do it within a certain time frame. Either way, it's the woman's choice.

Also, my mom told me she wanted to abort me but my dad talked her out of it. When I first heard that when I was 13-14, I thought of course I should be anti-abortion. But the fact is that when she wanted to abort me I wasn't me yet any more than "I" was an egg or a sperm or my mom or my dad. Anyway, my childhood sucked, and I hated my mom for years. I cried when my mom told me she had wanted to abort me because I knew she was pointing at the fact that she still didn't care about me.

[ldh]

I'm so sorry your childhood sucked. But I just want to touch one thing you said - "Having an abortion doesn't create your emotional reaction. YOU create your emotional reaction to the abortion."

I can only speak for myself of course, but I agree 100%. We create our emotional reactions to anything, abortion included. And for those people who will be depressed for years on end about it, then abortion is clearly not something they should consider. That being said, not all women regret it. In fact, the vast majority of women I know who have had an abortion, thought VERY long and hard first, and came to the conclusion it was best at that time, under those circumstances.

[Betrade]

Originally Posted by Cochonette

Having an abortion doesn't create your emotional reaction. YOU create your emotional reaction to the abortion. If women think they will be extremely sad about the abortion because they wanted the child, then they shouldn't get an abortion. If they are comfortable with an abortion and want one, I don't see why not, as long as they do it within a certain time frame. Either way, it's the woman's choice.

Also, my mom told me she wanted to abort me but my dad talked her out of it. When I first heard that when I was 13-14, I thought of course I should be anti-abortion. But the fact is that when she wanted to abort me I wasn't me yet any more than "I" was an egg or a sperm or my mom or my dad. Anyway, my childhood sucked, and I hated my mom for years. I cried when my mom told me she had wanted to abort me because I knew she was pointing at the fact that she still didn't care about me.

I disagree. if someone puts a gun to your child's head and murders him or her, you don't "create' your reaction. Reactions can and do happen spontaneously in certain situations and very often cannot be predicted.

It's very easy to claim what you (or anyone) will do or say under certain circumstances, but what actually takes place can often be very different; and even surprising. I've had emotional reactions to things before and didn't even know why I did or why I felt a particular way. It happens all the time to lots of people.

But again, if someone wants to abort their child, it's their choicer. I just believe that we should better inform everyone on the subject so that more informed decisions can be made about it.