Picking Our Parents and Our Life Circumstances (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Picking Our Parents and Our Life Circumstances

[KeithHandy]

I'm confused about my life because it seems like the exact opposite of the scenario you're presenting here. In fact, it's gotten to the point where I've heard so many variations on that scenario that it almost seems like a cliche to me now: we choose abusive families and impoverished conditions in order to be better prepared to make some kind of contribution to the world, some kind of advancement, experience some kind of growth & learning.

I was born into a nice family. An innocent family. A possibly naive family. Nothing abusive, nobody died prematurely, nothing traumatic happened. And yet I go through life with a chip on my shoulder, a constant feeling of something being "not right". I identify more with celebrities who have suffered some kind of loss and go through extreme highs and lows than with those who seem to have a steady and peaceful disposition. In relationships, my sister and I have both gravitated towards people with a history of abuse in their families. Sometimes I think I suffered a trauma in a previous life, but that doesn't make sense if we wipe the slate clean to begin a new one.

[Critical_Scribe]

Hi Keith,

Have you considered that maybe the chip that you speak of is regarding you not having accomplished something? If you overlay the cliche with your situation and apply the rules from the blog, maybe you chose a life free from poverty or anger or abuse, and by doing so have not accomplished any goals?

Certainly if I chose to avoid going to college, or avoid taking a tough job with a high chance of failure, or any number of things that would make a person wonder "what if", I would carry a chip on my shoulder too, especially when I noticed someone else who is successful and maybe possesses all of the things I might have, had I followed through with a path of most resistance.

We can't appreciate peace or harmony or love, joy without experiencing the other end of the spectrum for a reference.

[Jeff Lilly]

Very nice post, Erin. You have a real strength when it comes to clear analogies!

Do you have any insight into why the veil is there in the first place? That is, why do we have to forget everything when we incarnate? Obviously knowing what's behind the veil isn't bad in and of itself -- as you say, it's good to learn that this isn't our only life, that our suffering is temporary, etc. So why aren't we simply born knowing that?

Thanks!!

[annie]

I also believe very much in what Erin says...even though I'm a religious person. So from my paradigm the veil is there as to not interfere with our free will. I think ANY prior knowledge of things are they really are will interfer with the "tests & trials" that will come our way. For those of a religious persuasion...we have to walk by faith. And it’s true that the veil can become very thin at times. But for most of us, the veil remains; it's there to help us learn how we must live & what we can become.

[Hari.c]

Wonderful post Erin.
I have a doubt, before incarnate we decide our marriage partner, kids etc. If my dad decides before his incarnation who are going to be his kids then what is the impact of my decision before my incarnation. Same way if I decide who is going to be my marriage partner then how it impacts my wife’s decision before incarnation?
How is the synchronization happens?
Also one more doubt, if you see general human life we born, get educated, get a job (or do a business), get married, have kids, earn money for the family needs and when the time comes die. This is the routine in most of the cases. So what is the very important thing we could learn from human incarnation that we can’t learn when in the ether?

[Erin Pavlina]

Hari.C: The kids thing happens in one of two ways. Either you and your dad got together before either of you incarnated and decided what the arrangement would be, or your father incarnated without selecting you as his child and you came in there when you saw a fitting opportunity.

Human life differs based on culture. But yeah, I suppose there is a routine by culture. What we can learn here that we can't learn in the either is how we behave when we don't remember who we truly are (a part of Source, a part of consciousness). It's like going to school to study for a degree. There are many choices (business, psychology, liberal arts, music, etc.) and you choose the one you want to delve into more deeply. Next time around you may choose a different one.

The human experience is very unique, and having the chance to incarnate into this great "game" is thrilling and offers an opportunity to grow.

How do you behave when no one is watching? That is your true measure.

[Alchemiss]

Originally Posted by KeithHandy

I was born into a nice family. An innocent family. A possibly naive family. Nothing abusive, nobody died prematurely, nothing traumatic happened. And yet I go through life with a chip on my shoulder, a constant feeling of something being "not right".

When I was younger, I would have said something similar. However, I belatedly realized my family was heavily invested in appearing to be perfect when they were indeed quite flawed. I would tune into that "not right" feeling and see if it has anything else to tell you. Things are not always as they appear.

[Hari.c]

Excellent. Thanks Erin, that clarifies my doubt.

[Vanilla]

1)So, do some people come into the world knowing that they want to do evil? How do you explain sociopaths?

2)I can understand the positive impact a sociopath may have on others amidst all the negativity they bring. But, what exactly would the sociopath be learning here on earth? What are they getting out of the deal? Are they just here to impact others?

[Erin Pavlina]

Vanilla: No, people don't incarnate intending to do evil. Have you ever looked into the eyes of an evil infant? Their experiences in the world cause that. They may have been very well intentioned and incarnated consciously into a situation where they thought they could overcome their social conditioning but failed. And voila, you've got a sociopath who is listening to their egoic fear-based guides instead of their higher self.

There is always a chance the sociopath will regain their consciousness, slough off the urgings of their ego, and rehabilitate, but often they are too far gone. When they die, they are still met lovingly in the afterlife by angels, guides, higher self, deceased relatives, etc. But they may need some extra processing and attention to shake off their egoic shackles.

[Critical_Scribe]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Have you ever looked into the eyes of an evil infant? .

Yes! I have! Just a few weeks ago at the age of 1 he caused me to steam clean the carpet and his high chair, as well as scrub blue icing off the ceiling. Tell me this isnt an evil infant?

DSCF0157

[absvan]

Great post Erin.

I have one question though similar to what vanilla said. If everybody followed their true purpose, then there wouldnt be any more evil,cruel events in this world and everybody would be happy. There wont be anymore unhealthy competition, killing, stealing, jealousy etc.......

But at the same time, its some of the bad events that actually help us grow and contribute to the world. So do our spirits decide some kind of bad incidents for the purpose of growth and learning......Hope my question makes sense.

[Erin Pavlina]

We're hoping to get to a point where people realize we are all one so they do not intentionally harm anyone else, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.

When bad events happen, it is definitely a learning experience for humanity as a whole.

[Mayo]

What about "buffer" zones, i.e. alternate universes? How do we chose to be born there, or are we stuck in this reality until we consciously awaken?

[RallyMcnally]

I have a hard time with this post.

The biggest problem I'm having, is why do our souls need to learn anything if what's inside of us all is already a perfect reflection of the source. Why should any of us have to learn about kindness, love, preservance, and compassion here on earth if our true essence/higher self/soul is already a perfect reflection of these attributes?


Also what about entity attachments, demonic posession, alien abductions, Cia mind control victims, satanic ritual abuse victims? It's hard for me to believe I chose these things to happen to me. "Rishi I would like to be abducted 10 years out of my life, while ugly alien creatures have sex with me, to create a new breed of humanoids?" Come on now.

In my experience all of the crimes, and evil that is going on in the world isn't being done by humans, it's being done by negative entites who are attached/ working through humans to commit these acts. These entities control over peoples thoughts & actions. Why do you think so many criminals, and "psychos" talk about how they didn't feel like themselves while committing an act, or they have no "recollection" of doing an act. Maybe It's because an entity attachment is working through them.

[OlderWiser]

Well, I've been thinking about this blog entry. I did a bit of meditation, and I slept on it. It's the best explanation I've seen so far. I'm not positive I believe it (this being no offence to anyone, I just don't adopt beliefs of this nature without a great deal of thought), but it does make very good sense.

I used to be extremely resentful that I had to be here on earth. I felt trapped in my body, weighed down by it, as if it kept me from being who I REALLY was. I probably couldn't have articulated that until recently, but that's how I felt. I also, in fits of severe depression, felt that God must hate me to send me away from him, to sentence me to life on that which I referred to as "this spinning mudball".

I'm happy to say that after some pretty intensive (and painful) healing, depression isn't an issue for me any more, and I know for sure that God does NOT hate me, and that I wasn't sent here as punishment. I still occasionally resent being here, but mostly I accept that I'm here for a reason, and that the things that have happened in my life were for a reason, and that I've got stuff to do, so I may as well do it...

I'll have to think about this more. It kind of makes sense to me. I've always believed I was with God before I was here on earth, and I've always wondered why on earth God gave me to the pair of idiots who are, unfortunately, my parents (they're extremely toxic, highly dysfunctional, and were abusive, neglectful, and did a great job filling me with every kind of fear you can imagine). I have forgiven my parents because it's in my best interest to do so, and I've cut all ties to them, physically and otherwise, but it has always puzzled me that a God who loves me could hand me to them to abuse.

The notion that I accepted the "assignment", so to speak, does take some of the sting out of it, though I have the idea that I didn't really accept it willingly. Maybe I did and my fear and pain were so extreme that I just wanted ANY way out that I could find, I dunno...

I'll have to meditate on it more. Erin, thanks for the blog post. Whether or not I ultimately agree or whatever, it's been excellent food for thought and meditation.

[annie]

I have one question that keeps popping up in my head. This forum is so much about "spirituality" and the concepts of this thread.....and/or it's about The Law of Attraction....like attracts like.

So in this scenario, where is the Law of Attraction? If like attracts like...then obviously, those people and situations I attracted because of "likeness".

?????

I'm not really getting how this whole thing works....(seriously, yesterday I did, but this morning I'm having a brain cramp on it!)

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by OlderWiser

I used to be extremely resentful that I had to be here on earth. I felt trapped in my body, weighed down by it, as if it kept me from being who I REALLY was. I probably couldn't have articulated that until recently, but that's how I felt. I also, in fits of severe depression, felt that God must hate me to send me away from him, to sentence me to life on that which I referred to as "this spinning mudball".

If you look inside yourself and realize that you aren't everything you want to be, that's your answer to why you're here. Blaming it on anything outside of yourself is counterproductive. If there is room for you to become a better, stronger, more fearless and more faithful person here then what else is there to do but improve?

Faith is crucial. As much as I love making fun of Christianity (probably more than the next guy) there's a lot to be said for faith. There's something going on here on Earth that our intellects can't touch and the only way to be truly effective is to have an absolute faith that you can't be harmed. Faith is the opposite of fear, not love; love is just a byproduct.

Remember how the problems that you had a few years ago seemed insurmountable then, but if you could go back with what you know now you could solve them easily? I think we all may be here simply to train our spirits to surpass negativity in ways we can't learn elsewhere.

Being fearless and having faith are probably important to other planes of existence, not just this one.

[AnnaC]

Really enjoyed reading this post Erin, thanks

[OlderWiser]

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

If you look inside yourself and realize that you aren't everything you want to be, that's your answer to why you're here. Blaming it on anything outside of yourself is counterproductive. If there is room for you to become a better, stronger, more fearless and more faithful person here then what else is there to do but improve?

Well, I did say "used to". I've undergone a tremendous metamorphosis in the past fifteen years or so, and continue to evolve. I wouldn't be here on this forum if I were still depressed and resentful of having to be on this planet. I've had a huge amount of pain and disinformation and other ills to overcome, and I'm still working my way through it, every day, in small and large ways.

[Negrita]

Great post Erin! Gave me lots of peace of mind and it was a very clear explanation of the old saying 'all bad things happen for a reason'.

I have a question though...what about people who are born into nice families, with no financial problems, seem to get through life without much problems, get married, have kids, have happy families, make money...and then die. Is is possible that some spirit was finished with the learning and decided to take another ride just for the heck of it?? Or is it possible that some sould decides to incarnate, but chooses a "perfect" situation and the goal is to help other or something like that?

Thanks!!!

[OlderWiser]

Well, I'm not Erin nor can I speak to her, but I'm very sure you can learn valuable lessons from growing up in a nice, loving family and having a happy life.

[Negrita]

Originally Posted by OlderWiser

Well, I'm not Erin nor can I speak to her, but I'm very sure you can learn valuable lessons from growing up in a nice, loving family and having a happy life.

Thanks Older...but one more thing...if this is also possible, then why would any soul choose the hard situations...if they can learn the same valuable lessons in a more comfortable environment...

[OlderWiser]

I doubt you can learn the SAME lessons. There are things you can learn in a difficult, painful situation, there are things you can learn in a loving, happy situation. They're not the same things, though.

[Erin Pavlina]

OlderWiser is correct. Sometimes the only way to instigate learning is through adversity. I recently read Imaculee Ilibagiza's book, "Left to Tell" where she spent 3 months crammed into a tiny bathroom with 7 other women in Rwanda while the killers outside were hunting for her. Before this incident, she writes that she was having a pretty normal, hum drum life. She was planning to get married, have children, and just live. But now, after surviving genocide, she is an ambassador for peace.

I know someone who is living a very balanced existence. Nothing terribly bad ever happens to him and nothing terribly good ever happens either. He is growing more slowly than others I have met who have faced down some terrible trial.

[david2885]

When I read this post, I was reminded of a book I read by Brian Weiss called Same Soul, Many Bodies.

He basically hypnotized people to do regressions/progressions, and found that he could regress them to a certain period before they were incarnated as human beings. He talks about things like the incarnation process where spirits choose the circumstances they want to incarnate based on the growth they want to achieve in that lifetime. He also progressed people into the future (or some of many possible futures anyway), and he has stories of new technologies and human evolution and stuff.

Another person who also does the same kind of therapy and discusses the period 'in between lives' is Michael Newton. You can try listening to an interview of him from the Theatre of the Mind podcast. It's the November 28, 2006 show. Really interesting stuff.

[Crowghost]

Hmmm....
I do know that at the place I am now internally, in respect to where I have been in and throughout my life,..... I'm sort of conducting an experiment of directing or willing where I want to end up.
So far some things that seemed very off-key in realizing some of my ultimate goals are on the horizon. Thay don't yet appear to be lesson oriented, or unsurmountable challenges....but thay are very out of character opportunities.
I don't have fear related in utilizing them, rather it is as if I am taking something of myself that is very valuable, as a trade-off for what will be gained by engaging the opportunities.
That is a first for me.

[Vanilla]

Thank you for your response Erin. I understand the logic that no one is born evil. However, you mentioned in a recent post that you believe all the people involved in the Va. Tech shootings may have decided before incarnation to be involved in that event. How could they have been involved in that event if Cho wasn't incarnated to do an evil act? This is why my question was do some people incarnate to do evil...(I hope my comment makes sense).
___________________________________

Originally Posted by RallyMcnally

In my experience all of the crimes, and evil that is going on in the world isn't being done by humans, it's being done by negative entites who are attached/ working through humans to commit these acts. These entities control over peoples thoughts & actions. Why do you think so many criminals, and "psychos" talk about how they didn't feel like themselves while committing an act, or they have no "recollection" of doing an act. Maybe It's because an entity attachment is working through them.

Erin, or anyone, can you respond to this? I have the same thought...and was wondering if there was some form of explanation for this. Some say there's no such thing as Satan, but then where do the negative spirits come from? And, do they indeed come into the bodies of some humans and use their bodies for their evil doings?

[Erin Pavlina]

Originally Posted by Vanilla

Thank you for your response Erin. I understand the logic that no one is born evil. However, you mentioned in a recent post that you believe all the people involved in the Va. Tech shootings may have decided before incarnation to be involved in that event. How could they have been involved in that event if Cho wasn't incarnated to do an evil act? This is why my question was do some people incarnate to do evil...(I hope my comment makes sense).

You're assuming that Cho's act was evil, which I don't agree with using the word you're using. Cho may have incarnated into a situation that would test whether he could overcome a certain adversity (I don't know the background on why he did it so I can't say specifically). He failed to overcome that adversity and took conscious action which resulted in the deaths of other people. Did those people incarnate specifically to be murdered by him? Probably not. Did they agree, on some level, to be part of the experience in order to teach the world a lesson? Possibly. I can't say definitively what happened there unless I investigated it fully.

But no, I still don't believe anyone incarnates specifically to do evil.