The Power of Now

[Andwan]

Erin, what do you think about the book, The Power of Now? I mean, basically the book says that in order to move away from pain, you should allow whatever emotion you are feeling to be there. As it is, I am extremly caught in what I would call a "time loop." I keep replaying the same events in my mind over and over, to the point, where I talk to myself, and fight at the air, as if these events were reallly occuring. What I want to know is this, why isnt prayer or anytihng else working. I try to allow the anger to be there, but it subsides and return. I keep seeing myself being bullied by other people. Them slaming doors in my face. Them attacking me and humilating me. Its like I keep replaying the even in my mind the way it should have happen. Its crazy. What to do?

[Harmonium]

Just my suggestion, maybe you could try focusing on something more positive mentally if you can. Your current visualizations seem negative.

Good luck

[Erin Pavlina]

Andwan, are you replaying something that actually happened?

And if so, that is in the past. The whole point of the power of now is to be in the moment. If you're not being bullied right now, why feel the emotions of it?

[Andwan]

Erin, its not happening now, but like I said, its like being trapped in a time loop. My mind wont stop replaying it in my head, and whats worst, I fear it may happen again. Everytime, I close my eyes, I see the bullying happening and its frightening, and even worst, it has kept me in a rage, these past four years.

[Joe the Seeker]

I had a situation that was similar in some respects and ideas from The Power of Now and The New Earth did help me considerably. My wife died at home while I was at work. I was constantly replaying that day in my head thinking of what I should have been able to see, done differently, etc as well as other times in the past when I had basically been a jerk. That combined with the grief (or maybe that is all part of the grief) was very difficult to deal with. What I got from Tolle was that the only moment that is real is this one right now. The past is nothing but memories (which science has shown may not be all that accurate) and the future has yet to be decided. Grief is a combination of thinking about the past and projecting a future that is different from what we had hoped or anticipated. Likewise fear has to exist either in the past or the future. It can't exist right now. Even if you are face to face with a threat, the fear is anticipating pain or injury. There is pain from the fist that is in your gut right now but there is no fear. The fear is of the next punch that hasn't landed. By using some of Tolle's suggestions to force my mind into the present moment, I found that I could lessen my pain considerably. The more I concentrated, the better I felt.

The first thing I did was to concentrate on my breathing. Initially, it was difficult to do because my mind was like an unrestrained monkey that would wander off on a moment's notice. For me, the method known as combat breathing worked well. Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 4, breathe out through your mouth for a count of 4, wait for a count of 4, repeat (don't forget the last part, it is really important). It does lots of good things as far as your physiology but it also keeps your mind in the present moment. Another thing that helped was a running narrative. Granted, this works better for some activities than others and be sure you are not doing it verbally or even sub vocally or people will think that you are a lunatic. The idea is to narrate everything that you are doing in the present tense. Again, this can be difficult at first because you probably will have a tendency to narrate something that is about to happen instead of happening right now. For example, if you are walking down a hallway to an office. "I am stepping with my right foot, my left foot, I am going to open the door....oh, wait....I am reaching for the door knob, I am turning the knob, I am pushing the door". It may sound silly but it will force your mind to the present moment and that the the entire object. These negative emotions can't exist in the present. They get their power from the past and the future. Force your mind into the present moment and you cut off their power source.
Another thing I would suggest since the incident you are replaying involves bullying is to take a martial arts course. The mental discipline involved in many of the martial arts will have a positive effect plus you can build some confidence. The most effective self-defense tactic is situational awareness. Whenever possible, avoid putting yourself in a difficult situation. Secondly, confidence that you could prevail in a confrontation is going to reflect in your demeanor and be a factor in the bully's victim selection process. Bully's are actually cowards. They pick on the easy victims.

[shadowfax]

Learn to be the "watcher" of the event as Ekhart talks about as it happens. What you are doing is replaying the event but being in it. Let it play but start to learn to be out of it... just watching it.

When you can start to just watch it then ask why this is replaying. Listen for what comes back from that question.

At this point be grateful it is playing over and over. You are trying to be told something and this is your chance to hear it. But you need to watch and listen not be in it while it plays.

[sarah786]

Try reading Loving What Is by Byron Katie (google her and go to her website asa well). It is someone Eckhart Tolle approves of. She gives you a more of a practical method on how to be the watcher.

[nasars]

Originally Posted by Harmonium

Just my suggestion, maybe you could try focusing on something more positive mentally if you can. Your current visualizations seem negative.

Good luck

Seen that this approach works for such cases. Reason could perhaps be that the brain gets busy with the good instead of reliving negatives.

[slumberland]

Originally Posted by Andwan

Erin, what do you think about the book, The Power of Now? I mean, basically the book says that in order to move away from pain, you should allow whatever emotion you are feeling to be there. As it is, I am extremly caught in what I would call a "time loop." I keep replaying the same events in my mind over and over, to the point, where I talk to myself, and fight at the air, as if these events were reallly occuring. What I want to know is this, why isnt prayer or anytihng else working. I try to allow the anger to be there, but it subsides and return. I keep seeing myself being bullied by other people. Them slaming doors in my face. Them attacking me and humilating me. Its like I keep replaying the even in my mind the way it should have happen. Its crazy. What to do?

Some people have been helped by 'tapping' - also known as Emotional Freedom Technique originated by Gary Craig. In the last couple of years I think too many people tried to market the information that he used to freely offer on his site, so he dropped out and his original DVD's are more difficult to find. But they are still out there and there are youtube videos about it.

I think there are many reasons matters like this stay with people and it is not 'crazy' to not just be able to drop them. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is just one thing that has apparently helped some people. It is human nature to want to resolve problems in the right way and this is not a bad drive.

I think Martial Arts is a fantastic idea, by the way.

[Qwuakeup]

Most people miss this about his message, but I think it's one of the most crucial things to REALLY try to understand.

You are not your mind.

He says that 'thinking' just happens, like breathing. You don't have to concentrate to breath, you just breath but you can also choose to breath. This is the same with thinking. IT WILL HAPPEN.

What ever thinking is playing in your head is not YOU yourself thinking those thoughts, your brain is just playing a loop of your past experiences. That's how you can observe your thoughts, because they are not yours.

Don't claim them to be yours, plagiarism is wrong