Your Life is Perfect (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Your Life is Perfect

[gingerbaker]

What a great article. I have often felt similar things regarding even major tragedies (like losing my father at 13). Yes, it was horrible, and yes, I miss his terribly, and moreso, mourn the fact that I never got to know him as an adult. But if I had not had that experience, I would be a completely different person. Among other things, I went through puberty in an all-female household, and that had a huge impact on my sexuality and non-shame regarding my body. Would that have been different if my sister and I hadn't been walking around naked all the time since there were no guys in the house to be concerned about? Absolutely. And that was only one obvious thing I can see was affected - I am sure there are myraid subtler ways that that tragedy shaped who I am, for the better.

[Andwan]

Nice article! I was thinking about myself while reading it...When I started college in 06 I was really excited about the life I would live, independent from home...However, eventually I ended up giving into temptation, and having my first sexual experience (with a guy), and felt completely ashamed..I was eventually framed and blackmailed by other guys, who followed me around, trying to have sex with..This depressed me a lot, and by the second semster of this school year, I had my first puff of nicotine, which quickly evolved into a chain smoknig habit...I evolved even further that summer by smoking weed regularly..Going back to school for a second year was a little hard, but I managed to do it...I hooked up with this crowd of people, who I thought would be great for me...They had heard about my sexual experiences, and also began using me, threating to humiliate me in front of other guys if I didnt comply to their wishes, which were to keep them high, and drugged...I made it through that year, barely alive...I took the third year first semester off, to trian for this IMTA competition that I always wanted to go to...It cost me 6,000 dollars, and I thought I would go there, be discovered, and eventually live a life of fame and forturne..Unfortuanately, I went to IMTA, and did no get one single call back from one agent...I was devasted...I return to school that follwoing Jan, only to be completly ignored by thoes people who I called friends...i was outraged, strung out on drugs and weed...I eventually ran into Eckartt Tolle's book, The Power of Now...It help me quick smooking nicotine...I stopped in 09, and I smoked my last blunt of marijuana Jan 2..I've been clean for three months, and although, Im still dealing with a lot of anger, I feel confident that things will improve...Its just that, I feel that with all the self-help material Ive read (I've been submerged in your and Steve's blog since 06 ERin), I should be a better person by now..Its like life is saying, "Go ahead, read all you want, I'm still gonna be a b**** towards ya." Be that as it may...Im hoping things continue to get better...Thanks again for the article..Later Erin.....

[Andwan]

Originally Posted by gingerbaker

Among other things, I went through puberty in an all-female household, and that had a huge impact on my sexuality and non-shame regarding my body.

What is your sexuality?

[Federer]

Erin, You are very brave woman and inspired me now to face fears of my life and learn to tackle them with techniques.

[ellie]

Very true. For every mistake or bad thing that has happened, I have grown and learnt from the experience. I have had no regrets so far in my journey or my mistakes

[Andrew Gubb]

There's no such thing as a loss that is eternal.

Nothing that is real can be lost or even found; it's all in you.

[StacyT]

So much truth in this post...and the older I get the more I realize that you can't fully appreciate those truly happy moments without the awful ones. There's a balance. I can accept the sadness (and believe me I've had my share) because it makes the happy moments so cuttingly beautiful.

I compare it to living in New England...February and March are soul-crushing months with their lack of sunlight, muddy landscape and bare gray trees. It's always at the moment that feel like I can't take anymore when FINALLY tiny leaves start to push out of seemingly dead branches and green grass shows itself as the sun stays in the sky a little longer each day. I literally cry with happiness when the air gets that sweet earthy smell and the days get warmer.

I'm not wishing tragedy on myself or anyone else, but I can embrace and accept those moments for what they are because I know the season will always change and the sun will show its face again.

Oh, and Erin, I love the microscopic smiley face at the bottom of your blog

[Lucidism]

Originally Posted by gingerbaker

But if I had not had that experience, I would be a completely different person.

Indeed. And maybe you would have been better off. Or maybe you would be worse off.

The true answer? Depends on if you're asking an optimist or pessimist. An optimist will tend to believe that things worked out in their favor, even if it was something horrific.

Either way, the best we can do is to play the cards we are handed in life and create our happiness.

[Erin Pavlina]

Originally Posted by StacyT

Oh, and Erin, I love the microscopic smiley face at the bottom of your blog

Wait, what smiley at the bottom of the blog? I didn't put one there and I don't see one. help me out.

[Lucidism]

It is at the bottom of your blog. Steve has it too. Very common to see this on Wordpress blogs.



But why, you ask? Is my blog just happy to see me? Well, sure it is! But there's another reason too.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Wait, what smiley at the bottom of the blog? I didn't put one there and I don't see one. help me out.

ah yes, I see it as well...

All the way below the entire page, below EVERYTHING

Normally that's where you would have "this blog is powered by" bla bla bla etc.

It is a teeny tiny little smiley face....

[Andrew Gubb]

The first time I saw it, it was on Steve's blog, and I thought he had put it there intentionally, too.

[Erin Pavlina]

Weird I don't see the smiley face, maybe cuz they don't count hits from me to my own blog? Beyond me why I can't see it.

[Elrond]

The thought that ones life is necessarily always perfect just leads to the inevitable conclusion that it doesn't really matter what you do.

Originally Posted by StacyT

So much truth in this post...and the older I get the more I realize that you can't fully appreciate those truly happy moments without the awful ones. There's a balance. I can accept the sadness (and believe me I've had my share) because it makes the happy moments so cuttingly beautiful.

Sounds like a terrible life. I would not want that.

I can appreciate comfort more when I have experienced discomfort... but great stress and pain doesn't really seem to translate into sweet relief, at least not for so long that it was "worth it". How utterly depressing that would be.

Originally Posted by StacyT

I compare it to living in New England...February and March are soul-crushing months with their lack of sunlight, muddy landscape and bare gray trees. It's always at the moment that feel like I can't take anymore when FINALLY tiny leaves start to push out of seemingly dead branches and green grass shows itself as the sun stays in the sky a little longer each day. I literally cry with happiness when the air gets that sweet earthy smell and the days get warmer.

Some people are prone to depression due to lack of sunlight. There are treatments for it, though, that might alevate it. I have lived north of the polar circle, and the lack of sun didn't really bother me much (though the snow made the days brighter).

[ninavision]

As usual, this post resonates so much with my feelings about life.
Lately I've been listening a lot to this amazing song, which deals with the same subject:

YouTube - Carrie Underwood - Lessons learned