The Ignominious Defeat of Super Mom (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

The Ignominious Defeat of Super Mom

[Andrew Gubb]

Awesome article, Erin. An eye opener

[Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi]

Oh my Lord, I love this article. You go into this crazy trip with all sorts of pre-conceived notions, and read books and articles obsessively. Then, the best laid plans of mice and men...

This is my new motto - if you approach parenting with any kind of rigid anything you will suffer. I remember when my son was a newborn agonizing over how much he weighed, slept, ate....lol. It seems funny now.

[st33med]

Oh goodness, I got all schmoopy reading that your kids started wiping away your tears. You are a super mom, as it takes a lot to raise kids. The fact is that you do care for your children and you work hard. Don't you say that you aren't a super mother. Cuz you are. I've seen pictures of them, and I get the feeling that they are very happy.

teaching our kids about life, the universe, and everything.

Just tell them it's what you get when you multiply 7 * 6.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

The Ignominious Defeat of Super Mom

oh boy.... and just when I decided that I could do both, working for myself and having a child.... and be good at both...

[st33med]

Originally Posted by ssandra

oh boy.... and just when I decided that I could do both, working for myself and having a child.... and be good at both...

I think the one thing I've learned about parenting from other parents is that you can't be prepared for a child no matter how hard you try. The reason being is that kids are kids, and they have their own free will as well and don't always follow orders. It's also a very big responsibility over another person, and that's why most people don't have kids. I used to think that not wanting to have kids meant something bad about the person in general because I originally thought that was what we were here for.

From my understanding as well, even though you spend time with kids and can be good with them, try a different perspective where you have them for almost 24/7. I had to do this for a mini camp. Good grief, it drained me even trying to have fun with a few six year olds.

But, still, there are very big ups to parenting in which you are raising a new generation and having a new soul on this Earth.

[Justin Mazza]

Most parents get this pre-conceived idea of what kind of parents they will be or how their children will behave. Unfortunately as Erin has shown us, we have very little control over how things will turn out.

When our lives come to an end, all that will matter is how much we were loved, and how much love we gave.

[ChrisG]

Wow... this is so moving. You never expect all the difficulties, but at the end of the day sometimes all you can ask for is that your kids feel loved. I'm not a woman, and I might not even have kids, but it will be harder for my generation than it was for yours. I think just, in general, our expectations are built up higher and broken down harder than they were when you were in your early 20s.
This has implications not just for parenting but for everything big in life that you ever have high hopes for.

So maybe, just maybe, there is a sliver of Super Mom in me after all.

This bit made me cry... Wow

[Lakshyayidhi Lakshmihi]

Originally Posted by ChrisG

but it will be harder for my generation than it was for yours. I think just, in general, our expectations are built up higher and broken down harder than they were when you were in your early 20s.

I disagree. I have more information available to me now than my mother did, and I am more confident in the fact that I am the expert in my child. There are communities and there is support for parenting styles across the board. I'm around children all the time, and parents of all ages but mostly of very young infants and toddlers, and from what I see parenting has grown by leaps and bounds in the last even 10 years.

[Divajules]

Erin,
That was about the best thing I think I have ever read from you. It was honest and heartfelt. Just wonderful.

The maternal bill of goods you speak of knows no boundaries. I was the girl who had the nerve to not want children. What's wrong with the girl who doesn't want kids? I suppose that is why I never bought into the motherhood idolization program. I don't regret my choice to not have children. It was a voice that was hard to obey with all the outer noise but I am so glad I did. Motherhood is certainly not for everyone.

Thank you for daring to tell it like it is.

[AlmostGodess]

I loved this article. Even if I don't have kids, it touched me so deeply!

[marinik]

After bringing up 4 kids and juggling a career I hear you Superwomen!

Love m

[Negrita]

Thank you Erin for this post. I am currently pregnant with my first child, who will be born in June, and I intend to continue working after taking my maternity leave. I have been obsessing with all these checklists about the things I want/have/am expected to do during pregnancy and after the baby is born, and I've been reading tons of articles and books and taking advice from my family, my husband's family, friends, coworkers and even people that I don't really know that well...thinking that if I manage to apply and implement everything it will make me a perfect parent for my girl. Reading your article made me realize that not only am I driving myself crazy with things that I will probably have no control over, but I'm also forgetting to enjoy the process of becoming a parent. I will definitely relax more now and enjoy what's left of my pregnancy, and I will definitely stop obsessing about the million things that could go wrong and how I can prevent/avoid them. I'll just make sure I do my best and never stop showing my baby how much I love her and I'm sure we'll all be alright.

[tamrajo]

Thank you so much for writing a parenting/mom article!!! I’m just catching up with your blog since I’ve been on maternity leave with my 3rd child. It’s always nice to hear from the moms who are more Rosanne than June Clever because I think that is the reality.

It’s also nice to hear that someone as evolved as yourself struggles with being trying to be super mom too!

[Weena]

Sorry you're not super-mom Erin. But honestly how many super-moms do you know irl? I know...one (not me) and I define her super-mum because she's so freaking organised about every little detail of her family life. I've never managed to have dinner at the same time every night, or the house to stay clean and tidy more than a couple of hours, or to organise myself to get them to socialise more often with other kids, or to kick my daughter out of my bed (even when she goes to sleep in hers...she'll end up in ours eventually) etc... We all have our strength and weaknesses as parents... what you live is what most people live!